I feel like I'm missing something.
~February 7th~ Saturday
I feel completely useless and idiotic. This is a diary, no, a journal, and I should actually have something to say every once in a while. Surely a renowned Potions master like myself can think of something simple to say?
Of course I can.
Right…
Filler!
The last:
306. Thing you ate: A boiled egg.
307. Thing you drank: Bourban
308. Thing you wore: Robes
309. Place you went: The Great Hall
310. Thing you got pierced/tattooed: The Dark Mark when I was 17, and Remus is responsible for the ring I have in my chest area. I think it is about time to return the favour.
311. Person you saw: Winky, though I believe she doesn't qualify as a person.
312. Person you kissed: Minerva. Damn hexes.
313. Person you shagged: Oh, I forget…
314. Person you talked to: Dumbledore
315. Song you heard: I can't believe they divide those horrible tones into categories and label them. Seems like a waste of time to me.
Now:
316. What are you eating: Nothing
317. What are you drinking: Bourban
318. What are you wearing: Nothing
319. Any shoes on: No.
320. Hair: Shoulder length, very nice texture.
321. Listening to: The grandfather clock in the next room.
322. Talking to anyone: No. Though I am muttering to myself, if that counts.
323. Are you pissed I made this so long: Pissed as in drunk or angry? I'd have to say both.
Yes or no:
324. Are you a vegetarian: No.
325. Do you like cows: Occasionally.
326. Are you a bitch: Since that required me to both a female and a dog, no, I am not.
327. Are you artistic: Only when I want to be.
328. Do you write poetry: Sometimes, when I'm in a rather odd mood. It's somewhat morbid.
329. Are you a fast runner: I don't run, I glide.
330. Can you ski: No.
331. Are you British: This has to be my favorite question yet.
332. Do you want to spear britney: Depends on how you mean that
333. Do the voices talk to you: No. That would be Potter.
334. Did you ever give barbie a haircut: Yes. Yes I have.
335. Would you eat mac & cheese with hot dogs in it: Actually, yes.
336. Do you think Disney creators were on acid when they made 'alice in wonderland: I haven't watched the movie. But I believe the author actually was.
337. Are you straight: Incredibly.
338. Are you handicapped: No
339. Are you fat: No
340. Are you skinny: A bit, but I prefer the term "pleasantly lean"
341. Are you short: No
342. Are you tall: Yes
343. Do you own a hot pink shirt: Thanks to Dumbledore, yes, now I do.
344. How about orange pants: No
345. Can you see the flying monkeys: No, I believe Hagrid is finally taking care of them, for once.
At last, it is done with. And I can only think how I have wasted so much of my life.
All right, I admit, I did not try. It was easier to answer mindless questions than to think of something creative to say. It's not as if I'm writing for an audience, though I swear Winky still likes to paw through my things.
~February 13th~ Friday
Points taken from Gryffindor: 55, Alcohol Units: 9, Exchange Students Harassed: 1 (and quite a bit of fun)
7:00am
Ah! Friday the 13th. Wonderful. Absobloodylutely wonderful. Not only is something happening that I cannot figure out, Winky is wandering around the dungeons in a pink tea-towel toga with a glowing heart tiara shoved over her ears.
I smell pheromones.
3:00pm
Suddenly, for some odd reason, an American exchange student in her 7th year just popped out of nowhere. And in the middle of the semester, of course. I do not know how Dumbledore expects me to deal with this, as not only do I have a blond dunderhead named Mary Sue brightening up my dungeons with her perfectly white smile, but many of the boys in my class are now failing to pay attention.
I like my dungeons dark, thank you.
This is a source of evil that must be stopped.
~February 14th~ Saturday
Valentine's day. I am wondering why no one informed me of this fact earlier, as I would have been very inclined to purchase a box of chocolates and somehow get them into Hermione's room, or tie a ribbon around her beastly cat's neck, send her flowers, etc. No, no, not really. I would have to shoot myself.
Idea!
Haiku.
So it goes five, seven, five syllables?
Winky has informed me that that is correct. Though I am wondering how she knows this.
Bushy haired student
Running through my dreams swiftly
I run fast, away
All right, that was absolutely horrible. Let's try again.
Pretty know-it-all
Young legs like flying gazelle
I, Dirty old man
Mary Sue
Hair like sunny day
Smile blinding, no body fat
Mary Sue must fall, die
Valentine's Day
Floating hearts, annoyed
Love haiku, overrated
I am bad at this
Snape
Brooding in dungeon
Eyes like dragon, deserves more
I am Snape, pervert
I think that's enough for a day. Time to fail undeserving students and will return to this later, if I am in a morbid mood as explained above.
I wonder what Hermione is up to this evening of Valentine's Day? If it's something romantic, I am inclined to murder Ron. Mrs Weasley will thank me after she finds out what he did to her kitchen table.
I don't think we want to know.
Thanks to: Zervius Snape (eh?), Joshua Glass, Draco-FutureBF, elisa, JustJeanette (hmm...can't guess. Which? *coughupdatebluecough*), Loah, whitefaith, Aredhel Tasartir, SunnyRosVille, Aindel S. Druida, the soul cage (yay! read more of mine. No, not really. Check out my favorites, they're worth it), QueenYamcha, ShagsTheDustmop (oops...I think I knew that, but forgot to change it. I will make the correct changes as soon as I am properly awake), CassandraTheEvil, Zephyre (don't tell I'm the only one who thinks Ron is slightly reminiscient to Elmo).
Apologies for not leaving longer thank yous, I'm incredibly tired and need some sleep. A review per day keeps the author awake.