I decided to live up to my end of the bargain and update again today, maybe for the last time, maybe not... it all depends. :) Thanks to whazzupp8 for replying. Really, you're just too kind. lol. I loved your review. And yes, I know I'm scaring all of you, but I guess you'll just have to trust me. Scary thought, right? lol. I get what you're saying about drama... I feel the same way, I don't mind it at all as long as it leads to something good. I guess, in this case, it all just depends on my mood... you might be in trouble. lol. Hope you enjoy this one.

Chapter 9:

After her talk with Brooke, Haley headed back out to the den, taking her seat again next to Andrea. Andrea looked at her. "Who was it?"

"Brooke."

"Oh." Andrea smiled. "I always liked her."

Haley looked at her. "You know, you two have a lot in common."

Andrea nodded. "Yeah, I figured. Well, I hope she knocked some sense into you, seeing as I sure as hell couldn't."

Haley laughed. "Hey, Andrea? Thanks... for everything."

Andrea pulled her into a warm hug. "You're welcome, babe. Anything for my bestest friend."

"So..." Haley started.

Andrea smiled at her. "I'll give you a raincheck on our day of fun. I can tell you've got a lot on your mind. You probably need some time to yourself to think."

Haley stared at her. "Damn! How do you guys do that?"

Andrea tilted her head, confused. "Do what?"

"Tell exactly what I'm thinking."

"Oh, that..." She shrugged. "Call it a gift."

Andrea got up and walked to the door, grabbing her purse and her keys. "So, I'm gonna go out for awhile and leave you with some peace and quiet. Anything I can get you?"

"No thanks!" Haley called. She heard the door open and slam.

She sighed. Finally alone. And now, she had a decision to make. Did she fix things with Nathan or not? She knew it wouldn't be easy, but honestly, she didn't know if she could live with not trying. There had to be a way, right?

But then, she thought of the pain it might cause her. She didn't know if she could handle any more heartache and she couldn't help but think that's all this could bring her.

Are you gonna
Live your life wondering
Standing in the background
Looking around?

She thought about what people had been telling her. That she was afraid. She thought about her conversations with Andrea.

Andrea: "I think he'd wait forever for you to realize it's time to stop...being afraid."
Haley: "What are you saying I'm afraid of?"Andrea: "Think about it, Haley."

Well, she was thinking about it. And she was finally beginning to understand.

Andrea: "I think you were finally going to get your answer as to whether he still wanted to be with you and you got scared. So, you bolted."

Haley: "Is that what I'm supposedly so afraid of?"
Andrea: "Well, partly, yes. But you're not seeing the big picture here."

She hadn't seen the big picture then, but she was starting to.

Are you gonna
Waste your time
Thinking how you've grown up
Or how you missed out?

Nothing in her life would ever be perfect, so what was she waiting for? What was she so afraid of?

Nathan: "Because I've never given you any reason to doubt my love, yet somehow, you do."

Things are never gonna
Be the way you want
Where's it gonna
Get you acting serious?

Haley couldn't believe she'd wasted this many years afraid to give herself to anyone. Nathan had given her plenty of opportunities to do just that and she'd shot every single one of them down. He was the closest to perfect she was going to get and she'd let him walk out of her life.

She thought of what he'd said to her. About keeping them from being happy.

Nathan: "I would've given you anything, Haley and you know it. But you were always resisting us. You never could let yourself be happy."

Things are never gonna
Be quite what you want
Or even at 25
You gotta start sometime

What was it Nathan had told her to do?

Nathan: "Just stop holding back! Just let things happen and stop being so f uckin scared all the time!"

She wanted so badly to do that. She didn't want to live her life making mistakes and regretting them. There had to be more out there for her than that.

I'm on my feet
I'm on the floor
I'm good to go
Now all I need is just
To hear a song I know
I wanna always feel like
Part of this was mine
I wanna fall in love tonight

She needed to do something about what was happening and she needed to do it soon. She needed to stop things from getting any worse if they were ever going to get better.

Are you gonna
Live your life
Standing in the back
Looking around?
Are you gonna waste your time?

Nathan had said some pretty harsh things to her that night at the grocery store. But she knew they were all true. There was one thing that stuck out in her mind...

Nathan: "You've become this person who won't let anyone get too close to you. Like maybe, if you keep your distance, you'll be unbreakable. You're so damn fragile."

And she was. She was fragile. She was too fragile. The smallest thing happened and she just broke down. The first sign of trouble and she would quit. She realized now how much that had contributed to her current situation.

Gotta make a move
Or you'll miss out
Someone's gonna ask you
What it's all about
Stick around nostalgia
Won't let you down

There had to be something she could do to make things right again. Even if it meant losing Nathan, she had to make sure they both ended up OK.

Out of all the people she'd talked to about her and Nathan's break up in the past few days, the conversation that struck her as most meaningful was the one she'd had with Peyton. Peyton had taught her some pretty damn important things.

Someone's gonna ask you
What it's all about
Whatcha gonna have
To say for yourself?

Peyton: "Haley, I'm going to tell you something and I don't ever want you to forget it. You can't be afraid of living."

It was true. She had to stop being afraid of life. She was only hurting herself.

Peyton: "You're so wary of everything that's going on around you, of anything that might break your heart, you don't realize you're breaking yourself by not letting yourself find out."

Crimson and clover
Over and over
Crimson and clover
Over and over
Our house in the
Middle of the street
Why did we ever meet?

And mostly, she remembered the thing Peyton had said after reminding Haley about her mom.

Peyton: "Don't spend your life wishing you were brave enough to live it."

If there was one thing Haley wasn't, it was brave. Especially when it came to life. But the old Haley James would've been.

Started my rock 'n roll fantasy
Don't don't, don't let's start
Why did we ever part?
Kick start my rock 'n rollen heart

Tim: "You're always so... distant. You never let anyone in completely. And it always meant that you couldn't love him like you should've been able to."

Tim was right. She hadn't ever been able to love Nathan like he deserved. Something had always held her back. She'd just been too blind to see it.

Tim had really surprised her that night. He'd never been one to give good advice, but it seemed that everyone had something useful to say when it came to her and Nathan. She still remembered every word of their conversation. She hoped she always would.

Tim: "If there's one thing I know, it's that Nathan is the person you should let in. He always has been. Think about it."

She'd thought about it. And she'd realized he was right.

I'm on my feet
I'm on the floor I'm good to go
So come on Davey
Sing me something
That I know

And Brooke. Who could ever forget what Brooke had said to her?

Brooke: "Because you are Haley f uckin James and you belong with Nathan Scott. It's just one of those things that's written in stone."

I wanna always feel like
Part of this was mine
I wanna fall in love tonight

Brooke: "Then spend your whole life making up for it, Haley! It's worth it for you two to be together and you know it."

And it was worth it. She was just surprised it had taken her so long to figure that out.

Here tonight I wanna always feel like
Part of this was mine
I wanna fall in love tonight

Lucas had given her some advice that she figured it was time to take.

Lucas: "I'm just saying, Hales. You never gave him a chance to prove himself before. Maybe it's time you did."

She was in love. And she was ready to give him her heart. If only he would accept it. She had to do something and it had to be quick... before she lost him for good. She picked up her cell phone and dialed a familiar number. "Hello?"

"Lucas?"

"Yeah, Haley?"

"Yeah, it's me, listen, you're not on the plane yet, are you?"

"No... why?"

"Don't get on. I need you to stay a little longer. And I need you to bring Nathan somewhere for me."

"Haley... Nathan was planning on leaving today. He was flying back out to California."

"Well then, stop him. I'm sure his plane hasn't left yet either."

"What's this all about?"

She sighed and paused for a minute. "I decided it's time to be the brave one."

"OK...whatever that means."

She sighed again. "Look, Luke, could you just please do this for me? I promise, I'll do my best to make it worth it."

He finally agreed and she gave him directions. After hanging up, she grabbed her coat and ran out the door to catch a cab. She didn't have much time.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fifteen minutes later, she was backstage pacing and nervous as hell. It was the same bar she'd discovered the night she and Nathan had broken up. She'd noticed they held Karaoke there. Lucas said he would text her when they got there. She just had to make sure she didn't go on until then.

There was only one act left before her and they were almost finished. "Come on," she muttered. "Where are you?"

Suddenly, her phone beeped and she jumped. Calming down, she flipped it open and read the message. They were about to walk inside. Perfect timing.

The young girl on stage finished and whispered "Thank you," into the microphone, quickly running back off the stage.

The announcer walked on. His voice boomed. "And next, please welcome Miss Haley James."

She took a deep breath. This was it. She walked out, slightly uncomfortable to be under the spotlight. She breathed in deeply, reminding herself that this was for him. She approached the microphone and sat on the stool in front of it. Leaning forward, she spoke in a soft voice. "I'd like to dedicate this song to the love of my life. His name's Nathan. And I really screwed up with him. I didn't really see what I was doing until it was too late. Without meaning to, I pushed him away and I might have lost him. So, Nathan, if you're listening, this song sort of describes how I feel about you." By now, the room had gone deathly silent.

She knew he was there. She could always sense his presence when they were in the same room. But she didn't dare look for him. She didn't want to see his reaction if it was a bad one.

So, she cleared her throat and began to sing. It was a clear, slow song and her voice sounded beautiful. It soared with the highs and sank smoothly with the lows. And she'd never felt more alive.

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign
Pointed straight to you

That every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart; they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true; that God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to take the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there; you understand
It's all part of a grander plan
That is coming true

That every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart; they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true; that God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now, just roll on home
Into my loving arms

This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you...

Yes, God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

There was complete and total silence when she finished and she began to worry. But she heard one person clapping and she knew in her heart, it was Luke. She smiled as others began applauding her as well. Soon, the whole room was on their feet, cheering and whistling. When they finally settled down, she decided to say one last thing. "Thank you, guys. And Nathan, I'm so sorry. I know I hurt you, a lot. And I know I can't just take it back. But I'm trying. And I'm ready to give you my heart if you'll still take it. I hope you can forgive me."

Then, she walked off the stage, feeling more free than she had in 10 years. It was all up to him now.

I know, I'm horrible. The climax of the story and I leave you hanging. Possibly the biggest cliffhanger of my career... I'm just trying to give you all heart attacks. lol. Just kidding. I may update again today if time allows it. We'll see...

Love you all,

Hugs and kisses,

Ash