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Chapter Two
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"No better friend, no worse enemy" – motto of the First Marine Division
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Stewart's transport bubble moved with incredible speed through space. Shayera had given him directions to a small planet in the Omega quadrant named Cauth.
"Remote planet," she'd said. "Almost no one goes there. Only has four or five settlements on the entire rock." For about three seconds, Stewart contemplated asking her how she knew where this place was, but decided that he really didn't want to know the answer.
Shayera wore the white and black costume she'd sported when she returned to the League after killing Grundy. But she also wore a white helmet that looked very much like the mask the female Thanagarian who built the bypass wore. It was the first time he'd seen her in a mask since the invasion.
Stewart had to admit that while he didn't care much for the black and white costume, he did like the suit with a helmet. The helmet also hid that she'd rolled her hair into a very tight bun so that none showed.
It was funny, he thought. With her face covered and dressed so differently, his brain told him he shouldn't be able to recognize her. Yet he could visualize her face beneath the mask and felt sure he could pick her out in a crowd of Thanagarians in a heartbeat. He wondered if he'd somehow picked up the cues Thanagarians used to recognize each other.
Stewart draped a long cloak around himself to hide his Green Lantern uniform. That would be his camouflage. Mason needed no disguise. In a universe of infinite diversity, Mason would not be looked upon as being too unusual once he left Earth.
They landed outside of a small settlement and quickly walked to what appeared to be a general store. Shayera wasn't kidding. She knew exactly where she was going and moved with a purpose. She approached the clerk behind the counter and asked for the pepper sauce in Basic, a universal language spoken in the galaxy. Mason stared at the clerk until Stewart nudged him with a: "You should have brought a camera."
Mason gave Stewart a puzzled look. "Huh?"
"Don't stare," Stewart replied. "You look strange to him too."
"Oh. Yeah. So what'd she say?" Mason asked as he looked around the store.
Stewart spoke softly, "She asked for three bottles of the pepper sauce." Mason nodded.
The store clerk eyed all three suspiciously, seeming to pay special attention to Mason. Then he turned and pulled down three bottles of purple sauce from a shelf above his head.
Mason was rapidly moving all over the shop, touching everything. Stewart smiled to himself. Kid in a candy store. Mason was right. The things that he and Shayera took for granted were all new experiences to his old friend.
Mason stood next to a barrel of what looked to be smooth-surfaced, gray rocks about the size of his fist. "John, help me pick out something for Sapphire. And you're right," he said as he picked up a rock. "I should have brought a camera." He turned to Stewart, held up the rock and asked, "What about this?"
Before Stewart could answer, the rock changed in color from gray to yellow, opened its eyes and screamed at Mason in a long, loud whine. Mason immediately dropped the rock back in the barrel and looked at Stewart. "Never mind."
Mason turned to see Shayera had her mace energized, was airborne, and had assumed a defensive posture. The clerk behind the counter had a pistol or weapon of some sort trained at Mason.
"Whoa," Stewart said, putting his hands out in front of him, palms out. "Let's all stand down. It was an accident. He didn't mean to wake the damn thing up, whatever it is."
"No. Whatever it was, I didn't mean to do whatever I did," Mason added. He mimicked Stewart's open palm gesture. "What did I do?"
Shayera frowned, landed and clipped her mace to her hip. "Those are Hilayrean oysters. They react to changes in temperature. Your hand was either hotter or colder than where it was. So it let you know that it was unhappy."
Mason looked back in the barrel and noted that the oyster's color had changed back to gray. He nodded. "Definitely not taking that back to Sapphire."
Shayera gave the clerk some coins and he gave her a bag containing the bottles. Don't ask where the money came from, Stewart, because you really don't want to know that either.
The clerk looked like he wanted to get them out of the store quickly. And Stewart supported that plan completely.
As they walked out with the pepper sauce, Mason suddenly stopped.
"We're not going back now, are we?" Mason asked.
"Yes. We got the sauce. Let's go," Stewart answered.
"What did you have in mind?" Shayera asked. Oh no.
"It doesn't matter what he has in mind," Stewart snapped, sharper than he really meant to, he would recall later. He eased his tone as he said, "We got what we came for and we should go."
"We ought to hear him out first, don't you think?" she growled.
"Um, Mommy? Daddy?" Mason said. Both Stewart and Shayera looked at him and frowned.
"You two," Mason said shaking his head. He sighed. "Look, is there a chance in hell that I can get a cup of that lizard soup here before we go back to Earth?"
Stewart lowered his head and sighed, then looked at Shayera. "Well?'
"Over there," Shayera said softly pointing to what seemed to be a bar.
Stewart arched an eyebrow in disbelief. "In there?"
Shayera nodded. "No good eating place is going to sell Travelian lizard soup."
Mason started walking toward the building Shayera had pointed out.
"Well? Let's go," he called back to Stewart and Shayera.
Stewart looked at Shayera and shrugged. "You heard the man. Let's move."
As he accompanied Shayera across the street to join Mason, who'd already entered the bar, Stewart reflected upon what Mason had said. "Mommy and Daddy," he'd said. Stewart had seen the future. He knew that both he and the woman at his side would answer to those names one day. But first there was Mari and then there was that Carter Hall dude.
He and Shayera entered the bar and found Mason seated on a four legged bar stool waiting for them. Inside the bar, music played. It wasn't a particular melody that Stewart could discern, just pleasant background noise. The lighting inside was poor, despite it being daylight outside and a large mirror behind the bar counter reflecting what light there was. Stewart immediately looked to see if there was another exit from the place. There was a door on the left hand side of the room. No telling where it goes, but it leads out of here and that's all I need to know.
Looking around, he observed that there were ten beings in the bar seated at three different tables. One of the tables was about two meters behind Mason's bar stool. There were four male Rossians at that table. Rossians were known as one of meaner and uglier races in the universe. They were huge hulking brutes who took immense pleasure in their ability to inflict intense pain on their foes. Stewart immediately wished Mason had picked another part of the bar to sit at. Shayera sat on a stool next to Mason. Reluctantly, Stewart sat on the other side of Shayera.
The barkeeper, a multi-tentacled blue alien, stood at the far end of the bar talking to two purple-skinned beings. "I don't speak the lingo," Mason said. "But he seems to have put me on permanent ignore."
Stewart coughed loudly trying to get the barkeeper's attention. If the blue alien heard him, he ignored him. "Hey, barkeep," he finally hollered down the bar. The barkeeper looked up at him and then resumed his conversation with the purple beings.
"Cha'nas," Shayera muttered. She got off the stool and energized her mace. Stewart stepped off his stool, but didn't follow, instead watching as she went to the end of the bar and said something to the barkeeper. She pointed her mace at him and then returned to her seat, clipping her mace to her belt. The barkeeper looked at the three and then moved toward them.
Mason looked at Shayera. "What'd you say?"
"Nothing," Shayera answered as she sat down. "I simply told him that if he didn't bring us the soup and three flurbs within two minutes, you would kick his ass."
"What?' Mason stammered.
"Welcome to my world, bud," Stewart said.
The barkeeper growled at Mason as he set three tankards of flurb in front of Shayera and a bowl of something thick and green in front of Mason. He looked at the bowl and frowned. "Can I get something that someone didn't already try to eat?" he asked.
Shayera grinned and set a flurb in front of Mason. She slid the other one to Stewart who shook his head and slid it back to Shayera. Shayera drank a gulp of her flurb and belched loudly. Mason's eyes widened and Stewart smiled in amusement.
She looked at Mason and said, pointing to the soup, "It's best if you chug it down without trying to taste it."
Mason nodded. He picked up the bowl, brought it to his lips and took a big swig of soup. Within two seconds, he had spit the soup out, just missing the bartender, but not much else behind the bar counter.
Shayera shook her head. "Told you not to taste it. Here." She gave him the tankard of flurb. Stewart suppressed a laugh.
Mason grabbed the tankard and quickly downed a big gulp of the flurb. Then he turned and spit it out behind him. Unfortunately, he didn't miss the four Rossians sitting at the table. If Mason had any idea of what he had done, he didn't signal it.
Stewart and Shayera looked at the wet Rossians, then at each other, and then they turned their backs to the standing Rossians who were now wiping the flurb off of themselves. Stewart made eye contact with Shayera in the mirror behind the bar and then watched in the mirror as the Rossians talked among themselves.
"What is this mess? Mason exclaimed. He smacked his lips together trying to get rid of the taste of the brew. "Man, that was worse than the soup. On second thought, no it isn't, and now I can't get the taste of either out my mouth. God! Kill me now."
Stewart leaned forward and said in a low voice, "I don't know about God, but the people you spit on don't look happy and I think they want to take you up on your offer. Let's go."
Mason kept smacking his lips together. He turned to Shayera. "Did you finish your drink yet?"
"Not yet," she answered. Oh crap. She's smiling. Don't do this, woman.
"What's wrong with you two?" Stewart said, exasperated. "Mace, listen to me! On Earth, humans are on top of the food chain. Out here, you're just food."
Mason shook his head. "John, I got that. But my fellow soldier here isn't finished with her drink. And I've never been run out of any bar yet and I'm not starting today."
Fellow soldier? Where'd that crap come from? He must have swallowed some of that flurb.
Shayera continued to look straight ahead into the mirror and reaching down, energized her mace. "John's right. We got what we came for. We should go. Now!"
"Only if you're finished with your drink," Mason answered. Before Shayera could respond, one of the Rossians tapped Mason on the shoulder. "You spit all over me," the Rossian said in Basic in a low voice. Mason stared at him with a quizzical smile, not understanding a word.
Shayera looked at Stewart in the mirror. "You are noting that I didn't start this, right?"
"The evening's still young," Stewart answered, turning to face the Rossian closest to Mason.
He'd noticed that all four of the Rossians were standing behind them now. Stewart looked at the two men standing behind Mason and said, "Look, my friend got sick. He didn't know you were there. Why don't you let us buy you a drink and we'll call it square, okay?"
The man standing behind Stewart tapped one of the Rossians behind Mason on the shoulder. "Look," he said. "He's apologizing for his ugly friend. You should make him buy us drinks then we'll teach his friend a lesson."
Shayera cleared her throat, but continued to stare straight ahead. "Did you just call my friend ugly?"
The Rossian standing behind Shayera answered, "Yeah. All of you are ugly. You just happen to have a mask to hide how ugly you really are. After your boyfriends learn not to spit on Rossians, maybe the four of us will take off that helmet so we can see just how ugly a Thanagarian is."
The other Rossian behind Mason added, "Yeah. Give me a chance to see if some of the things I heard about Thanagarian women are true."
Stewart took a deep breath, stepped off his stool and replied, "You shouldn't have said that."
One of the Rossians stuck his finger in Stewart's face. "You gonna make something out of it, runt?"
Stewart flashed a quick glance into the mirror, making momentary eye contact with Shayera again, and then shook his head. "Nope," he said quickly. "But I think she will."
Shayera pivoted on her stool, leaped in the air and hit the man behind Mason with her mace. Stewart picked up his stool and used it to smack the Rossian who'd been standing behind Shayera, sending him tumbling into a table. Mason punched the man beside Stewart with an iron fist and launched him across the room. Stewart whacked the Rossian that Shayera had just hit with her mace with the now broken bar stool. The other Rossian behind Mason leaped at Stewart, only to be met in mid-air with Shayera's fist. The barkeeper hopped over the counter and onto Mason, who shot a portion of his body out, shoving the surprised bartender into the near wall.
Mason called out to Shayera, "I think I'm ready to go now. You still got your sauce?"
Shayera twirled in the air and maced one of the purple-skinned people who'd joined the ruckus when the barkeeper did. "Yup!" she shouted. "John, you ready to go now?'
Stewart punched one of the purple people and shouted back, "On three, out and go right!" He paused for a half-second as he slammed another bar stool into the legs of one of the Rossians. "One-two-three."
Stewart formed a giant wall with his ring and pushed everything and everyone in the room into the far corner. Then Mason, Shayera and Stewart ran out of the bar and turned right. Stewart ringed a bubble around them and carried them to the rooftop behind the bar. They watched from the roof as a few moments later, six people ran out of the bar and down the street looking for them.
Mason slapped his side. "Man, that was so much like the old days."
Shayera also smiled. "It was fun."
They both looked at Stewart. He smiled tightly and nodded. "We'd better go."
He ringed a bubble around them and they took off skyward.
They all were silent for a few moments before Mason said, "You know what? We ought to do this again next year."
Shayera smirked. "It might take them that long to forget we were here."
Stewart shook his head. "You two are crazy. I'm not coming back here next year just to get killed." He paused and then flashed a quick smile. "Maybe in two years. They'll have forgotten us by then."
Shayera turned to Mason and laughed. "Like Freeport?"
Mason nodded, "Like Freeport."
Stewart said nothing out loud as the bubble picked up speed, but inwardly he chuckled.
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