Disclaimer: See first chapter. (Sharpens machete while humming 'It's A Beautiful World'.) I can see you. Yes. You. No, don't look over your shoulder. You feel that shiver down your spine. That's me. Watching you. Waiting. Do you see me?
Didn't think so… too late.
A/N: Thanks to anonymous reviewer Lauren for pointing out that Season Six did not fit my story, and to all my other reviewers. If you leave a question in your review, I'll generally reply in my next chapter (if not I'll e-mail you). Or visit you. Look behiiiind you!
Chapter Two: The Fun Begins.
Everyone was still on edge after the new-guy's (Petty Officer Reginald O'Hara's) mistake in mentioning, 'What's the worst that could happen?'. After all, the Irony Gods were always smiling down on the SGC. Gen. Hammond had yet to decide which of the Gods he disliked more, the Goa'uld or the Irony Gods, creators of both Sod's and Murphy's law. (The Irony Gods aren't as hot as Hathor though. Damn! I must not be jealous of Hathor even though she is really HOT, and totally drool-worthy. Doh! Cold shower, Homer Simpson in a thong bikini! Shivers Uh! Back on track!)
"Unscheduled Off-world activation!", suddenly blared through the SGC, just as Col. Jack O'Neill was raising his soon-to-be first bite of pie to his mouth.
SG-1 rushed through the SGC to get to the Gate Room. They arrive just in time to hear 'Tok'ra's GOD signal received.' Upon which time Col. O'Neill shrieked as if he was locked in a very small room, containing only a king-sized bed and Anise. He then turned to run twisting his knee in the process. (The one every Jaffa, First Prime, System Lord or other captor or torturer always targeted. Yes. It is a conspiracy, just don't tell O'Neill.) Of course, Jack let rip with another yelp worthy of any blonde-bimbo-Barbie-bitch, whilst lying on the control-room floor. Must inflict pain on Jack. Even Hammond and Carter, with all their military training couldn't contain their laughter.
'Most amusing, Colonel O'Neill'. 'Gee, thanks Teal'c! This can't get any worse can it.'
Jack instantly regretted that comment as simultaneously Hammond and Carter said: 'Somebody page Dr Frazer.' and 'Don't forget that's on the security camera's. Simmons will be selling copies. It'll be around the base by tomorrow.' 'Well NOW it can't get any worse.'
'General Hammond, should we not go to the Gate-Room to greet General Carter and Anise of the Tok'ra.'
'OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
Later that day, the base psychiatrist, Dr Mackenzie was inundated by SF's who claimed to have heard a disembodied 'Oh for crying out loud!', echoing through the corridors.