Don't ask. Just. Don't Ask. This is, by all acounts, a crack fic.I was looking at stuff on the computer, talking to a friend of mine, and trying to watch 'Shark Week' on T.V (Multitasking) When my brain kind of went 'Duuuuuuh… Chouji's a whore' And my first response was what any body would respond with. WTF? And then I just started typing and came up with this. Go figure. Everybody's like… seventeen-ish. And Sasuke's around for the hell of it. So tell me what you think.

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"Uhm…" Excuse me… You're Ino right?" The blonde turned to look at a brunette who was slightly taller then her.

"Yes. Who are you?" The taller girl bowed slightly.

"I'm Kantsuyayu Yabunu. Uhm… you're Chouji's team mate right?" Ino looked at Yabunu oddly and nodded. "Oh! I hate to impose but could you give this to him the next time you see him? See I'm going on a mission and-"

"Yabunu!" Both girls turned to see a mildly surprised Chouji. Ino was practically shoved aside as Yabunu ran to and embraced Chouji.

"I just wanted to thank you for last night and well… here." She pushed a bag with a nice sparkly red tie on the top into his hands and rushed away blushing madly. Smiling he opened it, gasped, and shoved it into his pocket.

"What was that all about?" Ino asked twisting in her seat to look at him. Asuma and Shikamaru returned to their game. He shrugged indifferently and sat down next to her pulling out a sandwich.

"What?" He asked innocently, Ino made an 'Ach!' sound gesturing from his pocket to the way Yabunu had entered and left through. He shrugged and set about turning his sandwich into a pile of crumbs on his shirt. Agitated she threw her hands up and waited for her teacher and Shikamaru to finish their game.

About an hour later their training was halted when a girl with long dark green hair came by, kissed Chouji on the cheek, thanked him for last night, gave him a t-shirt and walked off.

"What was that?" Ino asked as he returned to the three of them.

"Oh? That was Kako Demisturi. She just dropped off my shirt."

"Your shirt."

"My shirt."

"Why did she have you shirt."

"Jeez Ino why don't you leave him alone?" Shikamaru murmured earning a glare from his team mate.

"Well I'm just curious! Sheesh I mean…" Her voice trailed off when she noticed Chouji was several feet away talking to twin girls who had to be a few years older then them. "Look! Look! More girls. Jeezus they're the fourth ones to come by." She said pointing to the girls who giggled and handed Chouji a wad of cash before walking away. "Chouji…"

"Hmm? Oh. That was Kurisutaru and Subeni, though honestly I can't tell them apart." He flashed them a smile then motioned to the clearing. "Well shall we get back to training?" Questions were halted when Asuma placed a hand on Ino's shoulder and shook his head.

"Wait wait waitaminute. You're telling me that Chouji… Akimichi Chouji, from your team, is a hooker?" Sakura could not believe what the blonde was telling her.

"It's true." She said tossing a pop (soda) can into a trash bin. "Yesterday four girls came by our training. Four. All of them gave him something. The first one gave him a bag that he hid, the second one gave him a shirt-"

"So? Maybe it was his birthday?" Ino shot the pink haired one a look that said 'It-was-most-certainly-NOT-his-birthday.'

"It was his shirt in the first place. She was giving it back to him. Besides the last two girls that came by gave him money."

"Well… it does sound kinda like he's a hooker but… it's Chouji. He just doesn't seem likmff." Sakura was hip checked into an alley by Ino with the blondes hand clamped firmly over her mouth. The blonde then motioned for Sakura to peek around the corner, which she did, and was shocked. There was Chouji talking to not one but two girls, both of whom looked like super models. Not only were they talking but they were laughing, giggling, flipping their hair and smiling. All the symptoms of flirting. Sakura blinked several times to make sure she understood what she was seeing. Yes that was Chouji, yes those girls were flirting with him and yes one of them just handed him a wad of cash and asked about his plans for tomorrow night.

"Wow… I think you're right… Chouji is a hooker."

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You like? Whatever. You don't like? Whatever. You knew what you were getting into when you read the summary so you can go get gang banged by a box of crackers for all I care. : )