Rent Gone Broadway!
This will be my first story in a long time, and it will be my first one in the RENT category…This will be a collection of Broadway songs, er, Rent-ified! Most of them will be from my other favourite musicals (Phantom, Chicago, Les Mis, Wicked…) but of course there will be others!
I do not own Rent or any other musical or song or character.
PS: There will be a lot of song featuring Collins and Angel, because they rock SO much.
Oh and this is just for fun. Please don't take it too seriously!
Tom Collins and Angel Schunard sat across from each other at the Life Cafe. Angel's legs were crossed, her hands neatly folded in her lap, her foot swinging to the sound of a far off clock. Collins, on the other hand, sat slouched in his seat, eyes half-closed, ignoring the coffee in front of him. Angel tried to smile, but it was all in vain.
They were tired of sitting, sitting, SITTING!
The clock that was tick-tocking went off, bringing Collins out of his trance. Angel grinned from ear to ear.
"Chapter break!" she said happily.
"About time…" Collins grumbled. Sure enough, in came Maureen, Mimi, Joanne, Benny, Mark and Roger, each one grinning wildly.
"So, what was that one?" Collins asked, his voice monotone.
"M/R," Mark replied. "You know, I think I'm finally getting used to kissing Roger!"
Mimi shot him a joking glare from across the table. But she laughed it off quickly.
"Don't worry about it, Mark- I'm busy kissing Benny anyway!" Roger shot Benny a REAL death glare and laid a protective arm around Mimi.
"How long has THIS been going on?" he cried in his usual Jealous!Roger voice.
"Oh, shit!" Mimi exclaimed. "You weren't supposed to find out till Chapter Three!"
"Funny," Maureen commented. "That's when Joanne and I get together again!"
"And when the thing happens…"
"Oh, yeah, the thing!"
"That causes the…"
"And then we go to Chapter Four!"
The five of them shared a big 'Chapter Three' laugh—even Benny, who was usually the outsider of the group.
"Wow," Collins said loudly, clearing his throat. "Must be nice, being in a fic for more than two sentences."
"And to be alive…" Angel added sadly.
"And to be in character…" Collins added, taking her hand.
"And to be ALIVE!" Angel repeated, her eyes filling with tears.
The five others looked at each other.
"Aww, guys…" Mimi did her best to comfort them. "You're in lots of things!"
"Yeah, you guys just weren't needed in that particular chapter," Mark agreed. He nudged Collins. "Hey, buddy, that was a great one shot you got last week!"
"Oh, yeah, real great," Collins agreed sarcastically. " 'My Angel is dead. I visit her grave every day. But I'm so depressed. How can I live without him? I'm going to kill myself now. Oh, but wait! The spirit of Angel is telling me not to? Well, what the hay, even though I'm OBVIOUSLY in a critical state of craziness, I'll listen to what's probably a hallucination and live my life in depression and loneliness.' Oh, and then it ended with a
kiss between Mimi and Roger, with Mark looking on in sadness, if you can figure that one out. That was a greeeeeat starring role for me!"
"I didn't like that one, either," Angel agreed. "I mean, why is every so-called 'author' write about me being dead? Can't they write a happy story for once? I mean…"
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING
"Another one? Wow, the RENTheads are on a roll!" Mark exclaimed.
"Maybe this one will feature you guys!" Mimi tried to reassure them. "Don't give up hope, someone's gotta pay attention sometime!"
The voice over the loudspeaker boomed, cutting off any reply the lovers were about to make.
"TITLE: IF SHE HADN'T DIED"
Angel and Collins stared straight at each other.
"You don't think..." Angel started.
"GENRE: ROMANCE/ANGST RATING:M"
Oh, please…Angel though to herself hopefully.
"SUMMARY…"
Angel and Collins both sucked in breaths…
"A REWRITE OF THE ENDING OF RENT. IF MIMI DID NOT ALMOST DIE. MARK/ROGER. REVIEW PLZ!
CHARACTERS NEEDED:
MIMI, ROGER, MARK, MAUREEN, JOANNE, BENNY"
…And exhaled, disappointedly.
"Another one? Well okay," Roger sighed. "But this time, get a breath mint or something, man! You know I hate coconuts."
"Coconuts? What the fuck? I didn't eat any coconuts!"
"Then why'd your breath smell like it?"
And that's all that could be heard as the five walked through the alternate door.
"Sorry, guys! Next time!" Mimi whispered, patting Angel's hand quickly, and then taking her place in the crowd.
The two stared at the door as it swung closed.
"What the hell?" Angel cried out. "It's called 'If She Hadn't Died', not… 'Another Freaking Story Not About Angel and Collins'!"
"That's a bit of a mouthful, babe," Collins replied, patting her hand.
"All we do all day is sit, when they get to go out and have fun!"
"Unless you're dead," Collins pointed out. "Then your name gets a mention, most of the time."
"And unless your dead," Angel replied. "Which you seem to be in an alarmingly increasing number of stories."
"If we're there, we're out of character." Collins sighed, rubbing his temples.
"Or we're out-of-character angsty. That's the worst!"
"Or we're advice-givers."
"Or we're…" they both shuddered, and then said together, "COMIC RELIEF!"
POPULAR (from Wicked)
Performed by: Collins and Angel
Collins
Angel, now that we're alone, I think we should discuss our feelings.
Angel
I can't believe I'd ever hear that from you!
Collins:
That's how pissed off I am!
Whenever they write stories,
They always leave out us!
Angel:
And lets face it, I'm tired
Of them leaving out us!
It sometimes makes me want to start to cry!
Collins:
Cause when Mimi cries and Mark is gay
And you and I don't get a say
It makes
Me wonder, "Why, oh why?"
Angel:
God knows, dear, that we're cute
You're so smart and I'm stylish to boot
But somehow the writers don't agree!
Together:
But you and me,
We'll make
Them see
We
Should
Be
Collins:
Popular!
Angel:
We SO should be popular!
Collins:
It's a damn shame, too
Cause 'I'll Cover You'
Is the best song in the play!
Angel:
Hey!
Write about us instead
But don't keep me dead!
Say I got away okay
Make us popular!
Collins:
We wanna be popular!
We really don't mean to whine
But it's ALL THE TIME
That you forget we're here!
So listen,
'Cause there's something you should hear!
Together (to a passing waiter):
WINE AND BEER!
Angel:
If I read one more fic where Mark cries in the rain
I'll hang myself with my own zebra stockings—go insane!
Collins:
Why do you do this, what could you possibly gain?
Why m'I always crying?
Angel:
Why m'I always dying?
Together:
Why can't we just be
Popular?
Please let us be Popular!
Angel:
We're really bored in here
Collins:
If it weren't for beer
Together:
We'd probably kill you all right now!
Angel:
GRRRRRRR!
Collins:
ARRRRRRR!
Together:
…Of course, we're only kidding,
But, please make us populer!
LAR!
Waiter:
Here you go, guys
Angel:
Thaaaaanks, hoooon,…
Er, can't paaaay…
Collins:
Well, you know, at least
Not today
Waiter:
You say that every day!
Angel:
When I see them walk through that door-
Collins:
God, I can't take that anymore!
Angel:
I know, sweet, makes me sort of wish
It were us
Going inside, to your story
Whining, kissing, all that glory
But do we ever get there?
Not even ONCE!
It's so fucking unfair! I mean, what the hell did we ever do to you…
(Rants on)
Collins:
She wants to be popular
Angel:
Hey, so do you!
Collins:
Of course I do
But they're VERY rude to us!
All we want to be is…
Oh, what's the fucking use? They're not listening! They're busy writing their Mark/Rogers!
Angel:
I KNOW! It's so unfair!
Suddenly, the door opened and a crying Mimi entered. Which was odd, because the chapter wasn't over yet.
"You okay, honey?" Angel asked her, returning to her normal, comforting self. She pulled out the seat beside her, beckoning for the curly-haired Latino wreck to sit down.
"No! She killed me off! In the first fucking chapter! I feel so unwanted!"
Collins and Angel shared a look
Collins:
Meems, don't have a cow
Angel:
I know it's tough now
But someday soon you'll see
Together:
You'll never have it quite as bad as me!
Mimi:
What?
Together:
Ooooooooooh, yeaaaaaaaaah,
Poooooooor yooooooooou
You're unpopular
But not
Unpopular quite
Like Uuuuuuuuuuuuuussssssss!
The two stared at each other happily.
"That felt good!" Angel exclaimed.
"I know!" Collins agreed. "And now that you're here, maybe it'll be a little less boring! Wouldn't hurt to have someone else to talk to!"
"Believe it or not, but making out does get old," Angel agreed, reapplying her lipstick.
Suddenly, the loud voice boomed again.
"MIMI IS GREETED BY A DEAD ANGEL IN HEAVEN WHO TELLS HER TO GO BACK TO EARTH AND LISTEN TO ROGER AND MARK MAKING OUT."
"I got my job back!" Mimi exclaimed. She kissed Angel on the cheek. "You're a lifesaver, Angel!"
And with that, she ran through the door.
The table was silent for a long time.
"I am going to go in there and whoop some serious ass in a minute."
"WINE AND BEER!"
Well, it was my first attempt at a Rent fic, and man, I'm going to get flamed for this LOL I pity you if you read this whole thing. Have a nice day!