Disclaimer: I don't own the characters used in this story, except for Mai, and all the people I made up. Inuyasha does not belong to me.
A/N: Here comes another chapter. It's purpose it to just set up some interesting situations, and maybe give a touch more insight into the minds of the players. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter Ten: Tell Me Your Story
And I know I'm buried too far down to feel the warmth of the sun again
I could wave my arms and swim away
But never reach the shore
But for now I will lay face first in the sand
With the wreckage of ships that lost their way
And I know I'm buried too far down to feel the warmth of the sun again
-"Dive In" Story of the Year
Mai and Sakura sat by their mother's bedside in the city hospital. Dim lights flickered above them, adding a touch of artificiality to the all-too harsh realness of the situation. Off and on for years their mom had kept getting sick. Mai had worried and worried about her, but the stubborn nature that even she herself had inherited asserted itself, and the calm woman would repeatedly assure her daughter that she was fine. 'I knew it,' Mai thought to herself bitterly. 'Why couldn't she have seen someone about this? I knew that it wasn't normal to get ill that often. Now she's lying here in this cold, sterile hospital, waiting for what can only be bad news.' She let out a soft sigh of frustration, causing Sakura to look up at her and grab onto her big sister's hand.
This snapped Mai back to her senses. If for no other reason, she knew that she had to be strong for her sister. Sakura was still so young, and she would so often refuse to believe that her beloved world could possibly betray her. Mai laughed frequently at her innocence, having a much more sarcastic outlook on life. Certainly things hadn't ever been truly difficult for Mai, but she had seen enough to know without doubt that the world was as hard as stone.
Suddenly, the two girls heard a cough sputter out. Their gazed turned immediately to the figure lying in the bed, catching instantly the fact that their mother had indeed awaken. "Oh Mom," Sakura said, rushing over to her and throwing her arms around the poor woman's neck. "I knew you would get better." Her mother gave her an indulgent smile.
"I'm not quite better yet dear," she said hoarsely. "But I think that I am healing."
"Why did you wait so long?" Mai asked lowly. "Why did you let it get this serious? You knew that you were sick; even I could tell that you were sick. But you just ignored it, and went on like everything was normal. How selfish can you be? Sakura and I were worried; I can't even tell you what a shock it was to come home and see you sprawled out on the floor. I didn't know what to think; I barely was thinking rationally enough to know what to do. Why couldn't you just admit your own frailty?"
"Mai, please stop yelling at Mommy," Sakura implored softly. "She's sick." "I know she's sick!" Mai fumed. "And I am not yelling!" "Mai," her mother said, "I'm sorry if I messed up. I'm human Mai, we're all only human. What more can you expect from me?" Mai put her hands on her head and sighed angrily. "I don't expect anything from you. I just... I just can't handle this right now."
Her mother smiled. "Please don't be like that Mai. Your sister needs you to be here to lean on for support. You have to be here for her if I can't." "What do you mean if you can't be here? You talk as though you're going to be dying." "I don't know what's going to happen to me Mai. It will be alright."
"No! I won't let this happen to you. You can't die; I won't let you leave us. Why does this have to happen? I'm leaving; I need to get out." And so she left, slamming the door behind her.
"What's wrong with Mai?" Sakura asked her mother, snuggling up even closer. "She doesn't like situations she can't control, and right now, there's nothing she can do to help me." "I hope she comes back soon. You need your daughters with you right now, to make sure you get better real quick." The woman laughed. "Yes Sakura, you're right, I do need my daughters. And don't worry, in her own time, Mai will come back." The two shared a comforting smile as they glanced at the lonely spot the other member of the family should have occupied.
The only refuge Mai knew was one of the places she wanted to go least. It was the place he was, and Mai didn't want to face him, not when she was upset. But her feet still led her there, almost on the verge of tears and alone. She sank down sideways onto a wooden bench, propping up her feet and hugging her knees. Her mind still dwelt on the bad news. Surely it wasn't as bad as she imagined; plenty of people went to the hospital, and plenty of people left it in even better condition. Mai hated things that sent her spiraling; the level of control she maintained was something that she prided herself on, and it meant a lot to her to be able to keep it.
The girl's small snifflings did not go unnoticed. A familiar footfall met her ear, and looking up, she was met with the face that she had sincerely wished she would avoid. His invisible sneer was still infuriating, and it only served to once again rile up her nerves.
"Why are you here?" he asked, for once taking the initiative to speak. But his foolishness irked her, and she only shrugged his well-veiled concern off. In fact, she did not even notice it.
"Because I am upset you pompous moron, and this is the only sanctuary I have. I have been here so often, that it greatly calms me down. If you'll notice, I avoided your usual spot so I wouldn't have to meet up with you, and bother you more. I'm in pain, and I just want to bear it."
Silence. He seemed in no hurry to leave. Then: "I understand. Most people need to rant and complain, but there are some who will not share when they are hurting. They do not realize that it can destroy them. Too much can break you if you haven't someone to help carry the weight."
"Shut up! You already turned down my innocent overtures, do not be so bold now as to mock me by making your own. Besides, you don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't I?"
Mai really wasn't feeling patient enough to listen to any of his explanations. "I was under the impression that you never wanted to see me again. I thought that my friendliness disgusted you. Let me be alone; I don't wish to bother you now." Once again, he ignored the opportunity and didn't leave.
"Maybe you're not bothering me." She scoffed. "What a bunch of bull. Last time I talked to you, you practically bit my head off. So why should I listen to you now?"
He sat down beside her, his side against her back, as his eyes stared resolutely into a nearby grove of trees. "Because I might have been wrong." "You were..." "I know what it is to ache. I know what it is like to walk the earth with no purpose and no drive. My pain had broken me, until you came, and offered me a distraction. We never knew each other, and our conversations were few. But somehow you made me begin to realize that just being me was not so bad. You came and took a little piece of that pain away. You tried to make my sorrows your own. I mislike owing you such a huge favor, so I am just repaying my debt."
She had energy for nothing more than a pout, and she said, "I don't want to have any of my debts repaid. My heart heard yours calling out, and all I did was answering. I was looking for no reward. But your heart is stone; you do not deserve my pity. You don't deserve anything."
"You're right," he said simply. "I'm right? Sesshoumaru... you are not acting like yourself. I am finding it hard to stay mad at you."
"If you only knew what lies in my past, you would fear me- you would probably hate me. It's true; I am horribly cruel." "I know that you are not the most amiable of individuals," here she suppressed a laugh, "but I do not think I would hate you. Certainly buried somewhere in there, kindness can be found."
"Would you like to hear the story of my life Mai? If you understand, then it is likely we will never see each other again." "I thought that's what you wanted." "So did I."
His face was changing. She turned to get a better look at him, and the strangest thing met her eye. His expression: it became more- human. "What are you saying Sesshoumaru? Please, tell my this great story you have.What could possibly so terrible that it would make me hate you? What exactly happened to you in your past? I can tell that it hurts you, but..." she looked away. "Just start explaining, okay?"
He looked at her wistfully, then turned away. His head lowered slightly, a mark of just how serious the occasion was to him. "I warn you, you will not like what you hear."
And so his tale began. Every detail spilled forth from his parched soul. He didn't omit one single fact that he could recall, and Mai's tender ears listened on in amazement. Dry lips told the story of every painful memory he possessed. The deeds he had callously done before his transformation, and the painful years that followed it. It was unbelievable; there were few who would buy into what he said, but Mai just drank it all in. Every word gave more insight than the last.
The person that she had believed she was beginning to know had all but disappeared. At last, it made sense to her why he was always so sad. He wasn't meant to be mortal; he wasn't born in the current form he occupied. He would remain, however, without even death as a release, until he could somehow redeem himself.
"I should have known," she thought to herself, "those eyes were too beautiful to be human."
A heavy silence followed the narrative. It was almost too much for Mai to take in at just one time. He looked at her, and for the first time she had known him, he smiled. "Now do you understand? My disdain for your kind lasted even after I had joined you. Do you see know why it would be impossible for me to be your friend? I could never care for you."
"I don't believe you." Her fists were clenched tightly, and her eyes began to glisten once again. "You lie when you say that you still hate us. I can feel something coming from deep within you. Your soul has it's former shell no longer, and the blackness you hid behind does not even exist. Open your heart, and you will see this also."
"No Mai. That isn't so." "Liar! Why won't you accept the truth? You may have all the weaknesses of the human race, but you also have inherited our strengths. Time makes itself your enemy, while your forlorn heart desperately seeks an ally in the shadows. I know that this is true; I could see it every time we spoke. But you wouldn't even allow yourself that pleasure. You need friendship you great moron."