Yeah… not much to say… nee hee hee. This is random but you know what? I think Orochimaru has the coolest evil laugh. Kukukukuku.
I didn't even know that was his laugh until I read the pages where Naruto and Sasuke have their little waterfall battle and Sasuke apparently Sharingan'd Orochimaru laughing at some point. I mean did anybody else notice the little note about his laugh?
Anyway enough about evil laughs. To my cracky fic! Things will get even more confused as news of Chouji's street walker profession reaches even more ears! Kukukukukuku.
---
"Are you serious!" Tenten practically screamed when Ino and Sakura updated her to the latest (and juiciest) gossip.
"Oh my…" Hinata said, one pale hand going to her mouth to muffle the giggle.
"You're joking right? He's not that… big… guy is he?" Tenten asked settling down since her last outburst had drawn attention to the other restaurants diners.
"One and the same. He's on my team, I think I'd know." Ino stated nodding earnestly. "Get this, yesterday, during our training four girls, four, all but threw themselves at Chouji. All of them gave him gifts and thanked him for a good time they had the previous night." She paused to allow the information to sink in.
"What kind of gifts did they give him?" Hinata asked quietly but earnestly. The Hyuuga's one guilty pleasure was gossip.
"Well… the first girl, her name was Kantsuyayu Yabunu, she gave him a bag that was tied at the top and walked away blushing. When Chouji opened it he gasped and got this look it was like… like… he was really pleased about something but just a tiny bit embarrassed." She paused again, for dramatics this time.
"What do you think it was?" Tenten asked scooting in closer.
"Well Ino and I think it was something kinky. Like maybe a dirty photo or lingerie or something you know?" Sakura answered folding her fingers and resting her chin upon them.
"And the second girl?" Hinata asked just a bit louder then last time and infinitely more interested.
"Well the second girl her name was Kako Demisturi-"
"I know her!" All four women looked up to see Naruto standing in front of their table with a few bowls in his hands. A shy 'N-naruto-kun' went unheard as Ino grabbed the blonde by his collar and yanked him into the booth next to her.
"Tell us… what kind of girl is she?" Ino demanded releasing his collar and giving him more room on the booth.
"Hmm… well… hey why do you want to know anyway?" He asked tilting his head to one side and looking at each woman individually. The looks he got made him reconsider his question and hold up his hands in defense. "Okay okay uhm… well let's see… She's really nice and stuff. I used to live next door to her in my third apartment. Uhm… she drinks… a lot. And works in her parent's store. Can I ask why you wanted to know now?"
"We think Chouji's a hooker an-"
"WHAT? CHOUJI A HOOKER?" Naruto's yell drew the attention of everyone in the restaurant causing Hinata to sink back in the booth with her face dyed a deep red.
"Shut up!" Ino and Sakura hissed whapping him on the head simultaneously.
"Hey Naruto quit flirting and get back to work." One of the waiters said leading a couple past their table.
"Yeah yeah Furiaka. I'm goin." He muttered picking up the bowls he'd come to the table with and heading towards the kitchen.
"ANYway so she hands him shirt, but not just any shirt… it's one of his shirts." A scandalous gasp came from Tenten and Hinata.
"No." They breathed, apparently it also meant 'Please-do-continue' for she did.
"But that's not the best part…" Sakura told them earnestly.
"The third and fourth girls. Kurisutaru and Subeni. I didn't hear their surname but they were twins but anyway… you'll never believe this… they gave him this huge wad of cash. I'm not kidding it must've been the size of my fist at least!" The squeals that elicited from Tenten and Hinata were beyond scandalous.
"It gets better though… yesterday, as Ino is telling me this we're walking down uh… the fifth street over from the academy, you two know the one right? Right, so anyway we're walking down it when all of a sudden she shoves me into an alleyway then motions for me to look. So you know I do and guess what? I saw Chouji talking to Kurisutaru and Subeni. Not only talking but the girls were flirting with him. Yes but that's not all. They hand him a wad of cash and ask him what he's doing tomorrow night."
"Your not serious!" Tenten was practically salivating and Hinata's mouth was open so wide it looked like she had unhinged her jaw.
"And these girls… they weren't like dogs these were really pretty, magazine, movie star, run way model drop dead gorgeous girls. I swear to God when they talked to Chouji during our training Shikamaru must've popped a stiffy." Ino said crudely then held her hands up as if in self defense. "If I'm lying I'm dieing." Their conversation dropped off somewhat after that and about fifteen minutes later they diverged.