Disclaimer: A.D.D. does not own Inuyasha, or anything associated with him. She owns the plot of this story, and her oc Mai. Thanx!

A/N: This is my favorite chapter so far. Now, before anyone goes and says, "Ahh! Sesshy's being ooc!" May I remind you that he has been human for five centuries! He's changed! And he finally found a release for his pain. I hope you enjoy. I also don't own Away From the Sun, or 3 Doors Down, cuz I used their song in this chapter.

Chapter Eleven: Away From the Sun
part 1- the most important metaphor
"Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none." -William Shakespeare

.
/It's down to this
I've got to make my life make sense
Can anyone tell what I've done/
.

Mai still knew that he was cold; she knew that he was as tough and shielded as ice. But suddenly, she wanted to break through that barrier. There were so many facets to him, that she wanted to see them all.

.
/I miss the life
I miss the colors of the world
Can anyone tell where I am/
.

"I never gave friendship a single thought before," he said. "I thought I had all that I needed." "Yes, but didn't you let that little girl travel with you? You didn't even realize then that you weren't meant to be alone?" "I told you," he rambled irritably, "I was convinced that I was content. How else was I supposed to be? I miss that feeling; now I am not sure where I am supposed to go, or what I am supposed to do."

.
/Cause now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down away from the sun again
Away from the sun again/
.

She felt all her anger towards him falling, just dropping off her like a leaf from a tree. He had come as close to apologizing as he was capable of, and it actually meant a lot to her. She had come to think of the immortal being as someone cast from the same mold as herself, and could almost sense that they shared an intangible quality, too rare to be seen.

.
/I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here/
.

"I don't think that you should give up yet. If you truly wish to return to the way you used to be, then do whatever it takes to atone for your sins. Redeem yourself."

"Your plan has a major flaw. I have been searching for a way to do just that for years. And I am no closer to discovering how I am supposed to show that I have changed, or that I have done whatever it is I am supposed to do." He rolled his eyes and let out a sigh that sounded viciously like a growl.

"I will help you Sesshomaru. I don't know why, but I feel like this is our destiny. Please do not push me away again."

He was resolutely silent. A moment or two passed, each second falling like the drop of a steady rain. Then: "I cannot help but give you credit. You are suffering. I can see it written plainly all over your face. Yet still you are relentless in your quest for my salvation. That is true selflessness. Mai, you need to stop to take care of yourself before you can begin work on me."

.
/The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I know/
.

She looked cautiously up at him with wet lashes and teary eyes. She wondered how he could change moods so quickly. "Will you let me help you once I am better?"

A sigh was his exasperated response. "I am ice," he told her, "cold and unyielding. You Mai, you are sunshine. We are not meant to mix together. I would only melt away."

"Oh, you always have an excuse. Ice is not always cruel, though it is cold. I see in you a beautifully crystal quality, and it will not disappear. You, though as icy as you may be, would melt into a pool of deep, clear water. And as you know, water gladly absorbs any warmth that beautiful star is willing to give. Surely you realize that I am not going to destroy any part of you, I am only going to help you see yourself for who you really are. I would love to be the one to melt away your cold exterior. Underneath, your heart is lovely."

"No, it is scarred and burned. Do not fool yourself into believing we are two of the same. Your heart is lovely, not mine."

.
/And now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me to find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down away from the sun again/
.

part 2- finding comfort in each others arms
To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides. -David Viscott

She wanted to prove to him that he could be happy. Mai needed to know that Sesshoumaru could accept the way he was, and be content to be as he was meant to be. The world would be always changing, she knew this, and she hoped he would realize it as well. But all else aside, all she really wanted to do was help him.

If he truly was a demon in his past- an entirely different sort of being- then she knew that it would be hard for him to open his heart. He had already shown that his internal conflicts were great, and while his new soul was human, she imagined that a piece of how he used to be still remained. And that was what made him such a challenging piece of work. "I wish that you had told me all of this before," she said. "I feel like I'm meeting you now for the first time, and all our previous encounters were only part of a dream."

.
/It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
And now I can't tell what I've done/
.

"I didn't know that it mattered. My past is now just that- the past." It was obvious that he wanted to end the discussion. "Now, tell me why you came here today."

So Mai gradually relayed the story of her mother's illness to him. It started simply, with no real cause for alarm, but over the years it progressed to something worse. Her worst fears had been realized, and now her mother lay in a hospital bed, waiting for what could only be a slow, painful demise.

Mai confessed to him that she was afraid. And Mai tried to always be brave- to always be strong. Her sister Sakura, who was still young, wouldn't be able to handle losing their mother. Already their father was gone, and those wounds were still deep. She shed a few squeezed out tears, and though her face was red with shame from crying in front of him, it did help alleviatesome of the pain.

Sesshoumaru almost didn't know what to say. He felt something strange creeping up into his heart- something that felt frighteningly like sympathy. He told himself that he didn't care, but when he saw that strong, happy girl beside him in tears, it made him feel... odd.

.
/And now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines to light the way for me/
.

"Stop crying. I do not know why, but it tears at me when I see you in so much pain. I am not comfortable with this." Then, that confession having made him uncomfortable as well, he changed the subject to divert her mind. "And surely, you are strong enough to be on your own."

"I do not fear loneliness. I would still have my sister in any case. It is the loss of my mother that makes me such a wreck. She has always been there for me, and we have always had a bond. She is so dear to me, that it will break my heart when she is gone. I want her to stay with me, even for just a little longer."

She was close to losing it altogether. Her eyes squeezed shut, and she literally began to weep. "I hate this! I know that she's going to die, but I desperately want to save her. And before I came here... I... I was yelling at her. How could I be so cruel? Sesshomaru, I'm sorry… I can't take this."

She fell onto his chest, leaning on him for comfort and support. Her fists clutched hard at the fabric of his shirt, and her body shook with her sobs.

He was shocked. She was crying on him, balling up his incredibly nice shirt in her shaking fists, and the very fact that she was brave enough to touch him at all still surprised him. The first impression that flitted through his mind was disgust. He half wanted to push her off and leave her whimpering in the dirt. But a small, tiny part of him was whispering to him to console her. It told him to relax, and let her feel safe. In any difficult time, a friend could ease much of the pain.

.
/And now again I've found myself so far down
Away from the sun that shines into the darkest place/
.

Hesitantly, and almost automatically, he put his arms around her. She gasped and her face shot up to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry," she said fearfully. "I didn't mean t-"

But he surprised her. He did not look as he did before. He truly had become an ordinary man... or as ordinary as someone as remarkable as he could be. His features still looked the same, and the cold mask of indifference that he put on as faithfully as others put on their shirts remained tacked in place.

His eyes, however, were what had changed. With all their sadness, and deceit, and passion, they still held in their gaze a triumph. He had overcome the last bit of cruel and heartless feeling left in him at last. And she was so amazed to see that.

"Mai, what have you done to me?" he asked, looking anxious and unsure.

"I am making you better. You won't be ice very much longer." She closed her eyes and leaned against him again. He was warm, and so secure. All of her breaths steadily matched his, and she soon found the pulsing beat of his heart.

.
/I'm so far down away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me to find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down
Away from the sun again/
.

"Thank you," she said. "I feel better now." He only mumbled something that she couldn't quite make out. "I need to be going; I should head back to the hospital. But I don't want to leave. I don't want to go."

He disentangled himself from her, and said, "No, you need to go to your mother. She must need you now just as much as you need her."

She got up, and walked about four or five steps. But before she could get very far, he called out to her again. "Mai! I... I'm going to be here tomorrow. Remember that."

She managed a broad smile for him. "See you then, Sesshomaru. Goodbye."

A/N: Oh! I enjoyed writing that chapter. The next one should be up sometime after Christmas. (Happy hollies all my readers!) It's as sweet as this one... a little bit more of Mai's mother and what's going on there, and someone else makes an appearance too. tweedles!

Love and Peace! -A.D.D.