Rent Gone Broadway!
Chapter 3
I do not own Rent or Les Miserables
It was a quiet Saturday afternoon at the loft. The rain pounded against the windows, and no one wanted to leave the house. Mimi and Roger were in a fight again, leaving him and Mark staring at the TV all afternoon
"Mark," Roger broke the silence finally. Mark barely tore his eyes off the screen.
"Yeah, Rog?"
"Get me a beer."
Mark stared at him, furrowing his brow.
"You get it!"
"No!"
"Why not?"
Roger was silent for awhile, and Mark figured he'd given up and gone back to watching the TV.
"Your closer," Roger said finally.
"Wha? The fridge is over there!"
"I broke up with Mimi."
"What else is new?"
"I'm hurting!"
"So?"
"Get me a beer!"
"No!"
The two grown men were silent for a moment.
"I'll give you this dollar," Roger offered, digging in his pockets and pulling out a crumpled bill.
"I don't want your money,"
"Then get me a beer for free."
"Why should I?"
"BECAUSE, you're my friend!" Roger cried out. "I'd get you a beer!"
Mark sighed and forced himself to get off of his comfy chair.
"…If it were a life or death situation," Roger said once he was half-way to the fridge.
"If it were a life or death situation…yeah, yeah, yeah…" Mark grumbled.
OUT OF BEER (On My Own from Les Miserables)
Performed by: Mark and Roger
MARK
Another step, another sigh, another beer, another guilt trip
ROGER
I only asked you for a beer I didn't ask you to flap your lip
MARK
Well, now I'm half-way there
I should have stayed in my chair
Why do I let you talk me into to doing everything you won't do?
ROGER
Because my dear friend it is so dreadfully easy to persuade you
Just pick me up a drink
It's easier than you think!
Mark continued to grumble as he padded bare-foot into the kitchen. He opened the door to the fridge and leaned over. His eyes widened behind his glasses.
MARK
Out of beer…
ROGER
What?
MARK
I said we're out of alcohol!
There's none here…
ROGER
You checked behind the pizza?
MARK
Without beer
Baywatch seems so boring
ROGER
I tried it once though Pam was hot I found myself snoring
MARK
In the fridge
There's nothing there but month-old crap
It's too bad
I thought I'd make a wrap
ROGER
My God, Mark
How can you be hungry?
At a time like this, we're out of beer, oh God have mercy!
MARK
And I know I bought some just last week!
ROGER
What type?
MARK
Coors
ROGER
Oh, I love that type
MARK
I know
All our beer is playing hide and seek!
Still, I say, there must be some left
ROGER
I love beer
But when we run out of it
I get mad
Because…um…because I really love beer!
Oh God,
Another case of writers block!
That makes me mad, very mad, and I can hardly talk!
MARK
I love beer!
ROGER
You should make a film 'bout beer!
I'm sure
It would receive rave reviews!
MARK
How 'bout no?
That's the dumbest thing you've ever said!
My God, man, you need beer before you totally lose your head!
TOGEHER
I love beer,
I love beer,
I love beer,
But now we're…
Out of….
Beer!
Mark and Roger stared at each other.
"Well, you know, it's only beer," Mark said finally, breaking the awkward silence.
"Yeah, that's true," Roger agreed. Mark sat down, a little annoyed he got out of his seat for nothing.
The room was silent for a few minutes except for the blaring of the Baywatch theme music. Finally, however,
"Mark?"
"Yes, Roger?"
"Go buy more beer."
Okay, that was really dumb. Sorry LOL ;)