CHAPTER 4

THE JEDI COUNCIL

Shaak Ti led me to a room on the first floor. This room was full of lightsabers and Padawans making lightsabers.

"Don't tell me I have to make one," I said instantly worried.

Shaak Ti looked at me. "You already had," she said.

"What! I did not!" I was totally confused. "Huh? What?"

The Togruta woman took a lightsaber off a shelf on the wall. She turned around. She set it in my hand. "See," she said.

I looked down at it. The handle looked totally weird. It looked nothing like any lightsaber I have ever seen. "Is this is?" I asked, turning it over trying to figure out which end was up. "It looks like I made it with my eyes closed."

"Well," she said. "You did."

Now I was totally confused. "I did! When?"

"Well," she said. "The second time you passed out after you saw my face you got back up a few minutes later. I thought you were awake but you didn't look right. Kit didn't notice because he'd gone somewhere. Anyway you came here and made that lightsaber."

You gotta be kidding me! Why would I do a thing like that?! "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You were sleepwalking," she explained. "You never wake a sleepwalker. That's the worst thing to do."

I stared at her. I bet my pupils were tiny slits. "Eh..."

"Are you okay?" she asked giving me a worried look.

"Uh..," I stammered. "Does it work?" I was referring to the lightsaber in my hand.

"I think so. You did put a crystal in it."

I examined the lightsaber a bit longer. No way could I have built this, I thought. Not even in my sleep.

The thing is; I don't ever sleepwalk. Actually it only happened once a long time ago. I do sleep with my eyes open, though. I'm like an owl. Only owls don't freak people out by doing it.

I can't build things either or fix anything electrical. I tried to fix my Playstation 2 once and I killed it. It doesn't even turn on anymore. All well. That's not even on the subject.

Back to the story.

I tried to find the switch that turned on the lightsaber. When I did I almost ran my head through. Luckily I have quick reflexes and it jerked back in time (My head not the lightsaber blade). I stared at the green blade of my weapon in fascination.

Wow, I did a good job, I thought my eyes reflecting the soft green light. But how was I able to do it? None of my Clone Wars books tell me how to build one. Hmmm... The Force?

"Excuse me, Padawan Stephanie," Shaak Ti's voice broke into my thoughts.

Tearing my gaze away from the lightsaber I looked over at her. "Hmm?" I said absently.

"Would you come with me please?"

"Why?"

"There's something we need to ask you." she started for the door.

Who's we? I thought. And what do they want to ask me? Curious I followed her.

The thing I didn't realize at the time was, when she said 'we' she had ment the entire Jedi Council. The first thing I noticed when I re-entered the Council Chamber was Plo Koon and Master Yoda were seated as far away from me as they could get. I guess they were scared of me now.

Just for fun I made a move toward them. I was greated by a satisfying flinch from the both of them. I grinned evilly. No matter where you sit you can't escape the glompingness! Mwahahaha!

"What's wrong, Masters?" I said under my breath. "You afraid of a teenage girl? I thought fear led to the dark side." I snickered.

Mace Windu heard me. "What's so funny?" he demanded.

I looked over at him. He regarded me grumpily. Does he always have to look like that? The grouch! "Nothing," I replied (Which is the usual answer she gives people). "So," I went on putting a hand on my hip. "Why do 'we' want to talk to me?"
The Jedi stared.

I glared at them all. I hate being stared at.

Mace spoke up. "We wanted to ask you a question," he told me.

"And?" (which is another word she uses a lot)

"We wanted to know how you ended up on Viumde."

"Well," I said thinking back. "A ship brought me."

"What kind of ship?"

"How should I know?" I snapped. "I was kidnapped. I didn't have time to see what ship I was in!"

"You were kidnapped?' Adi Gallia asked. (Wow, she hadn't noticed the way she was acting)

"Yeah," I said.

"By who?"

"Some stupid woman with laryngitis," I replied.

"Laren what!" Ki-Adi-Mundi asked looking confused.

"Her voice was like this." I attempted to imitate the sound which hurt my vocal cords.

"Asajj Ventress!" Yoda exclaimed.

"Asajj Ventress?" I asked. "That bald bimbo?"

Now all the Jedi were gaping at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Where did you learn those words?" Mace demanded sounding angry.

"A lot of places and people," I said. "Why?" Then it hit me. Jedi didn't talk like that. And here I was doing all the Forbidden Rules of da Jedi. "Sorry."

Shaak Ti and Kit Fisto looked at each other. I wonder what they were thinking. I bet they thought I lost my mind, or worse.

"So Asajj Ventress kidnapped you?" Plo Koon asked cautiously.

"Duh," I said. "What other evil Sith woman would do it? Unless the Clone Wars has another I don't know about."

Now I saw their mouths hanging wide open, even Yoda looked surprised. His big eyes were bigger than usual.

Great Steph, I chided myself. You keep acting like that and they'll probably have an exorcist on you.

I decided to try talking more civilly. "Uhh.. sorry."

Mace was the first to recover. I tell you he must have the patience of the saint, the whole lot of them must be that way. None of them were shouting "SHE'S FULL OF THE DARK SIDE!" yet. "So do you have any idea why she would want to kidnap you?"

I shook my head. "Nope.. I mean no."

"I'd like to know why."

"Good question," I said. "I'm not really a Jedi... Well not a Jedi Knight or Master anyway... I haven't the slightest clue... Maybe she thought I would help the Separatist cause..." They were all getting that gape look again. "Or maybe Dooku thought I'd be an easy Padawan to manipulate," I added quickly so not to spread the 'gapes'.

"Why do you say that?" Adi Gallie wanted to know.

"Because I have a hard time controlling my temper..."

The minute I said this I knew it was a mistake. All the Jedi, even Yoda, seemed to scoot away from me. I could feel their eyes scanning me for the dark side.

This is pathetic, I thought rolling my eyes. Just mention the word 'temper' or 'anger' and these nuts have it out for you.

"You're not going to find anything," I said annoyed.

They eyed me curiously.

"Just because someone gets mad doesn't mean they are going to the dark side," I told them folding my arms. "If that were true, everyone would be there." I glanced at Yoda. The Perfect Jedi example just because he's a million years old. "Even you Grand Master of the Jedi Order. People get mad once in awhile but that doesn't change who they are. It takes more than that. When you nuts finally realize it it will be too late. You'll lose your whole Jedi Order from Masters to Younglings in one short night. Everything will be gone even; the Jedi Temple," I shook my head. "And you'll never know what hit you because you are all too old and sick in your ways to let anything change. You think the Old Way is the only way!"

The gapes came back but I went on. "And that will be your reward for living in the past." I turned around and headed out of the Council Chamber. "This war is a joke just like your Order! A JOKE! ONE BIG FAT SICK JOKE!" my voice echoed down the hall.

Here's one thing about Jedi Masters. Even though they say they learn new things everyday (Or something like that) they are just all high and mighty and don't really learn anything. Younglings, Padawans, and Jedi Knights learn a few things once in awhile but the fat lazy Council members don't learn anything. For example what I had said to them.

I found out later that they thought I was just spouting nonsense. That I'd gone crazy.

Yoda (I bet he's about the only Jedi Master with a brain) told them what wasn't likely. He told them nobody goes crazy just because they say something about the future. One point for him but I don't feel any better. But. He didn't learn much out of what I said either.

Jedi are just coocks.

But you know what? Even thought the Jedi Council gave me the Offical Dark Side Eye Scan they didn't find anything. Heh, I guess it's because I am an Earth girl.

A/N

Yeah she's a bit sueish but in a funny way. Just a few things I wanted to tell you now. The thing with the lightsaber I was originally not going to put it in but I changed my mind at the last second. I actually do like the Jedi but come on! Sometimes even the greatest fans of something get annoyed at what they like. Well that's about it. Anything not explained in this chapter will be taken care of later on in the story.