Theme: 02 - EVANESCENT
Title: I Can't Handle
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst
A/N: This is ermz… slightly based on my own experience. Anyway, that's not the main point. Haha. Sorry for the angst anyway. But that's how the theme makes me feel. I don't think this can count as a fic… 342 words only.
Disclaimers: Slamdunk doesn't belong to me. It's Inoue-sensei's.
I Can't Handle
I don't know what I was doing, but I know I'd hurt you and caused my heart to break. It is broken to such fine shards that it can never be complete again, for the piece in which the love that was yours and mine resided in cannot fit in anymore. But I finally understood that love at such intensity burns, it scorches me so. It makes me want to howl, to reveal to the world that I am constantly pining for you.
However, this I cannot do. And so I kept on smiling as our love is not to be made known to the world. I had on a smiling face, but my heart is bleeding, my vision is blurred and my tears…my tears splash on my cheeks uncontrollably. This smile, it is bitter. But, I am telling myself that what I am doing is right. For it is the human's instinct to protect themselves. I know you love me more than I had ever loved you, but I am getting scared… for everyday, when I wake up, I find myself loving you more. I am afraid of this, I am afraid that I cannot handle this love, that my heart cannot hold love of such intensity. I cannot stand the torment of missing you everyday and yet, not being able to see you due to our circumstances… this is too painful.
I admit that I am weak, for I chose to escape, I chose to pick up my phone and send you the message that says, let's break up. This is the best way out, isn't it? And you don't have to be afraid of loneliness for there is someone else waiting for you, loving you. So, let's break up. The corner of my mouth is lifted, so you don't have to bother about the liquid called tears that is spilling from my eyes. You don't have to worry about it, ever… I will evaporate from this world like the foam from the waves for I am officially out of your live as I had unofficially gone into it a year ago.
Ninmu Kanryou 8:59 PM, Tuesday, December 13, 2005