AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry we have not written in a while. In the words of Phoebe from 'Friends', "I wish I could but… I just don't want to." Here's another dash of stupid nonsense, courtesy of the three stooges, Brit, Ari and Sam!

Chapter 3: In which there are alternate endings, the story makes no sense and we never REALLY figure out who Neville likes!

Neville looked around frightfully before making his decision.

"Truth," he whispered in his quivery, soft voice. Neville always acted as if he was about to explode from fright.

"Do you like anyone in this compartment, and if so who?" Ginny asked.

Neville weighed his choices. He did like someone in this compartment… but should he embarrass himself in front of his love? Of course not!

"I don't like anyone in this compartment." He lied, not looking Ginny in the eye.

Ginny watched his reaction critically.

"You're LIEING!" she exclaimed at Neville, "Tell us who you like or you have to take something off."

Neville looked around the compartment for sympathetic eyes, but he found none. He took a deep breath and answered in a timid voice.

"I like Draco."

(Whoa I scared you there for a second didn't I? The last sentence is a joke, erase it. Neville is too sexy to be gay. Once again, here we go with the real ending)

Neville looked around the compartment for sympathetic eyes, but he found none. He took a deep breath and answered in a timid voice.

"I like Hermione. She was always nice to me."

Then Hermione grabbed him and they started snogging wildly.

(Another joke. I'm just messing with you all. Real ending this time."

Neville looked around the compartment for sympathetic eyes, but he found none. He took a deep breath and answered in a timid voice.

"I like pie. That's why I'm so fat." Then Neville proceeded to stuff his face with blue berry pie.

(Okay I lied. It's not the real ending. Last time I swear! This is the real ending, honest!)

Neville: You know what? I'm tired of this!!! In all these stories I'm always a pushed around, abused character that has no PERSONALITY! I'm whatever the author makes me, just so long as I'm helpful to the plot! Well you know what? I'm tired of it!!! I want some real PERSONALITY!!! I WANT CHARACTER!!! I WANT DEPTH!!! FOR ONCE, GIVE ME AN ENDING I CAN BE PROUD OF!

(Well then. I guess we need to make an ending that Neville can be proud of. Here it goes.)

Neville looked around the compartment for sympathetic eyes, but he found none. He took a deep breath and answered in a not so timid voice.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU!!! I DON'T NEED A BUNCH OF WANNA BE HEROS AS FRIENDS! I HAVE REAL FRIENDS!"

Then Neville put on his biker helmet and hopped on his motor cycle and rode away into the sunset. But he forgot to look both ways when he crossed the street and he was hit by a bus.

THE END.

NOTE: This is what happens to characters when they mess around with the author. Authors do not like to be told what to do.