Disclaimer: I don't own charmed or have anything to do with it, I just wrote this story.
The air was crisp. A new day had begun. The house, so often alive with laughter and noise, was silent. He crept through the house, careful not to wake any of its occupants. A quick look into each of his brother's rooms told him that they were still asleep. Each slept in distress. Tear tracks from the night before still were painted onto Shawn's face. His parent's room was empty, the bed was made, un-slept-in, nothing less than he had expected that.
He walked out of the still, silent house and into the happy lively street. He was dressed in his soccer uniform, black and gold, the color of his team. A bag was slung over his shoulder and boots, tied at the laces, slung around his neck.
He walked through the street, his face was stoic, his eyes were withdrawn. He appeared disorderly, his dark hair was stuck up and messy, his clothes crinkled, as if he had slept in them. He could see the sun. It was on the horizon, high in the sky, sending rays of happiness throughout the world. The birds fluttered from tree to tree, playing and chirping loudly.
He did not see the happiness the world around him was creating. He did not see the children in the street laughing while they ran. He did not see the dog that was chasing a teasing bird. He did not see the woman in her front yard digging a garden, smiling as her two toddlers tried to help. He only saw the road he walking on. His mind did not think of anything other than the game he must get to, he wouldn't allow it anything else.
Finally he arrived at the soccer field. He saw a boy run up to him, but he did not truly see him. He saw the boys' mouth move as he yelled excitedly.
"Perry! Why are you so late? The game starts in five minutes."
But he did not hear him. He simply sat down on the bench and swapped his shoes for his boots. As he did this the boy beside him babbled excitedly, muttering something about a party, but he did not listen, instead concentrating on tying his laces. He heard the whistle blow in the center of the field. He stood up. He was ready to go.
As he walked away from the bench he remembered something. He spun back around quickly and looked back at where he had been sitting. That was where his family sat every week. He could see his mother sitting there, her hand clasped in his dads, his brothers beside them. His mother cheering, the boy's yelling obscenities at the other team, his mother slapping his dad, playfully reprimanding him. The bench was empty today. He vaguely heard the boy, who he had come to recognize as Ryan, ask where they were. He didn't answer, he just turned and continued walking. This time though, he had a fire in his eyes. He was angry, they weren't there, they should have been there.
He stood in the middle of the field looking past the opposition, not really seeing them. The handshakes took place and the game began. He played hard, his anger driving him to go in harder then ever before. He got the ball and ran with it. He kicked it, the keeper stopped it but he continued running and the keeper dropped it. He saw his fathers face on the ball and he put his boot to it harder then he ever had before. It hit the back of the net. The team cheered and jumped on him, the sideline went up, hands in the air. He looked to the bench. It was still vacant. Not even a hint of a smile appeared on his face.
There was a woman watching him from afar. Dark hair, blue eyes, eyes which held only remorse. She looked at him sadly. She knew what he was doing and she pitied him for having to do it. She couldn't intervene, couldn't stop him. She desperately wanted to, he was hurting only himself, but she could not.
Half time came and then the game continued in much the same way. His teammates had cottoned onto the fact that there was something wrong with him, that he was angry about something but they were boys, they didn't pry. They thought he was dealing with it in the right way, taking it out on the field rather than doing something self-destructive, so they let him be.
He saw something out of the corner of his eye, white lights forming over in the far corner of the park. He held his breath, waiting to see who it was, no longer paying attention to the game. When the form took shape his eyes met those of the two who had appeared. For a second his anger evaporated and there was only sadness in his eyes. The second passed quickly though and he looked away, turning his attention back to the game. As he continued to play he heard his aunt yelling from the side of the field.
"Chris, come on you know this isn't going to help, putting it off will not stop the pain," Phoebe said in a strangled voice.
He ignored her and kept going, harder and more violently then he was before. He saw his other aunt, Paige, quietly conversing with his coach. The quick snap of the head and pained look his way was enough to tell him that she Paige had explained what was wrong.
He ignored the look and kept playing except now he wasn't seeing the game, he was seeing yesterday. The events he desperately wanted to wish untrue were playing out in his minds eye.
Yesterday, for the most part it had been a perfect day, exactly what he wanted from it. He had awoken to a feast, his mothers birthday cooking. Presents had been excitedly ripped open, his dad had been his usual dork self. He had gone to school with a full stomach, red cheeks from where they had been pinched in a decidedly grandma like fashion, and a wet forehead. A remnant of the happy kiss his mother had given him while exclaiming how she couldn't believe how big her baby had gotten.
At school he mucked around with his friends and got sent out of science first. There was always a competition between him Ryan and a few of the other guys to see who could get on the temperamental teachers nerves first. The school day had ended and he had met up with Wyatt and Shawn before heading to magic school. And that is where the day lost its charm.
Once they arrived at magic school he had realized he had left his potions book at home so he quickly orbed to his bedroom to retrieve it. He would have orbed straight back had it not been for the noises he had heard coming from below.
He could still hear the scream that had sent him running. It was a high-pitched scream that sent shivers up his spine, but worse than that it was his mothers scream. Forgetting he possessed powers that could get him there in less than a seconded, he had run, stumbled down the stairs and appeared on a scene he wished he had never seen.
He could see her face as if she were right in front of him now. Fright was etched all over her beautiful features. Her eyes had met his and in an instant there was only worry for his safety in them, the fear was gone. She had been lying on the floor, in the middle of their living room, a demon standing above her, one which looked deceivingly like a darklighter, but which possessed power far worse than that. It was killing her.
He had tried to run forward, to help her, he knew he could, he had the power to do it, but he was stopped. Arms had wrapped around his middle, pulling him back. He could remember the voice of the man who had stopped him, hear it, feel the soft blow of air as he spoke near his ear.
"What do you think you're doing?" The voice had been so angry. He had recognized it instantly. It was his father. It was Leo. "You don't have the power to help, stay out of the way." And then he had been pushed away, so hard that he slid along the ground for a couple of meters before coming to a halt.
He didn't see what Leo did to try and help, by the time he had recovered for his shock Leo was lying flat on the floor unconscious and the demon had disappeared.
He had run then, blindly to his mother's side. Her eyes were open and she had stared at him weakly. She was dying and he had known it. He had placed his hands over her and the white light had come but it didn't heal her.
Her hand had slowly risen, touching his cheek, attempting to wipe away the tears that kept pouring out of his eyes.
"I love you baby," she had rasped out with much difficulty, "Don't ever forget that."
"No mum," he had pleaded, "Don't do this, you can't leave me, mum." He had continued to cry, lying his head on her chest, "Come on mum, you can't leave me, I love you, why can't I heal you?"
He had continued to moan her name, but she had let go. When she finally did he had screamed. Sometime during that time Leo had woken up and was looking down at them, tears pouring out of his own eyes. He had not looked up at the man but had heard his words, words that would haunt him for the rest of his life.
"If you hadn't distracted me I could have saved her." And with that he had left, left Chris to deal with the death of his mother alone.
The events continued to play out before his eyes and he continued to play his game. He wanted to forget, he needed to, he wouldn't be able to live if he didn't.
He heard the whistle blow signaling the end of the game. The team was in celebration mode, probably also hyped up for his birthday party which was due to take place in an hours time. They formed their usual end of game huddle but he didn't join them. He wanted to be alone. He simply walked over to where his bag was, hid behind a tree, swapped his clothes and then began to walk back to the manor.
As he was leaving the field he heard the hush come over his team and he saw them looking his way. He knew then that they had been informed that there would be no party and that they knew why. He saw his aunts watch him go sadly, deciding that he would be best left on his own for a while.
He walked away from the happiness of the field and back to where he knew the storm clouds hovered. Each step was purposeful and heavy. He walked with a heart so weak and terrified that it made him wonder why he was going back at all. As he walked he had only three things in his mind. There was the promise he had tried to make his mother make, a promise that she never made. He could remember his nine-year-old self, insisting she agree to it.
"Mom I want you to promise me that you will never leave me, I love you to much for you to leave and also I want you to promise me that you'll never scare me like grandpa scared me"
And her reply.
"Chris, baby, I'm not going to promise you that, I can't, because there is a very big chance that I won't be able to keep it and to tell you the truth I don't want to"
He had complained about that answer but she had been insistent.
"I don't want to leave you either Chris, but just think of it like this, I'm here with you right now, I love you right now and even when that day where I leave does come, I'll still be with you here" she patted his heart "and here" she said stroking his head
"You'll always have memories of me and you'll always remember how much I loved you. If you do that you will always feel my presence and it'll be like I never left"
He could remember his little high-pitched voice trying to get at least a little bit of a promise out of her.
"I love you mom, just stay for a really long time ok?"
She hadn't. It had been less than five years since that day. He had turned fourteen yesterday. He had held the hope for those five years that he'd be at least forty before the time came.
She always insisted that she be the one to leave him and not the other way around, she had gotten her wish.
He also, during this walk, had the frightening vision of his mothers weakest moment imprinted in his mind. That moment when she had given up and let herself be taken by death. But by far the worst thing of all was the ringing in his ears as he heard his fathers voice over and over again.
"If you hadn't distracted me I could have saved her."
He continued to walk, just trying to forget his fourteenth birthday, trying to forget yesterday.
A/N: Thank you all so much for reading and thank you kindly for your reviews. Please keep them coming, I'm off to do assignments now, wish me luck.