Hellhomer pt. 4
Author's note: I like to apologize to one reader who thought I badmouthed Yu-Gi-Oh, Spongebob, and Vanilla Pepsi. I like those things, I only wrote that to use it in the humor of the Simpsons. Now on with our story.
Ash and the other citizens of Springfield marched though the destroyed town of Springfield, thanks to the demons of Hell.
"How much longer till we get there?" Homer asked. "I want to get a cold beer at Moe's."
"Homer, for the last time shut up about your stupid beer," said Ash. "We're almost at Satan's lair. According to this map of Hell, Satan's fortress should be in the middle of town."
"What's it look like, Pee-Wee's Playhouse?" Homer said sarcastically.
"Yes," replied Ash, as they look at a Hell version of Pee-Wee's Playhouse. "Let's kick some devil booty."
Just then, Satan rose up from the ground, as the fire and brimstone flew from the ground. The Dark Lord looked at Ash and the few people of Springfield that were in front of him. "Who dares confront Satan?"
"Satan, you're going back to Hell," said Ash.
"Who, and what army?" Satan asked, as everyone except Homer and Ash ran away in terror.
"Looks like we're the only ones here, Ash," said Homer. "Call on Pikachu to take out Team Rocket, so we can get out of here."
"Wrong Ash, stupid," Ash corrected Homer, as he turned to Satan. "I don't need an army to take you on; just I and my chainsaw will do just fine." Ash pulled the cord to start up his chainsaw arm, but the motor stopped. "What the!"
"What's wrong, mortal?" Satan asked Ash, "out of gas?"
"I just filled it up today," said Ash, as he started his chainsaw again, and again it stopped. "Damn!"
"So that's why Otto was sick," spoke Homer. "I gave him that stinky apple juice that was in that bottle next to you."
"Homer, you idiot, that was gasoline," snapped Ash. "How could you be that stupid?"
"I'm not that stupid," replied Homer. "I went into outer space, became a boxer, helped Mel Gibson with his new movie, saved the town from a nuclear meltdown, fought George Bush…"
"HOMER, SHUT UP!" Ash shouted. "I can handle Satan myself!"
Just then, a huge rock fell on Ash, as Homer just looked on.
"D'oh," Homer slowly grunted.
"What's next, mortal?" Satan spoke to Homer, as the Dark Lord laughed.
Homer thought carefully, and then had an idea. "Satan, I challenge you to Street Fighter 2. If I win, you go back to Hell and leave us alone."
"What if you lose?" Satan asked.
"You can stay here as long as you like," replied Homer.
"Deal, you got two hours," Satan vanished within the brimstone.
"D'oh!" Homer grunted.
Back at the church, Homer walked to Bart, who was playing with his PSP with Millhouse. Homer had to think of a way to get Bart to play against Satan.
"Boy, I want you to play Street Fighter 2 against Satan in two hours," said Homer.
"You should have thought of this idea before you said it," replied Homer's brain.
"Shut up, Brain," replied Homer.
Bart laughed at what Homer just said, then stopped. "Homer, Satan is the biggest cheater on earth. I'm not even that low to beat him."
"Then train me to play, Bart," Homer cried. "Train me like there's no tomorrow."
Bart sighed and nodded his head. "You owe me big time, Homer. If I teach you the art of Street Fighter, you must never tell anyone about the secret character to unlock."
"I don't know, boy," thought Homer.
"Dad, you have to promise not to reveal the secret character to no one," Bart spoke in a serious look.
"I promise," Homer smirked, as he crossed his fingers behind his back.
Lisa looked at them, but gave a nagging look to her face knowing something is going to screw up.
To be continued…
Next time: Homer Vs. Satan