Please see first chapter for warnings and disclaimer.
I know absolutely nothing at all about Sakura's family, so I'm making this up out of whole cloth. I apologize for any discrepancies between this and the series/manga.
Chapter 3
They kept him in the hospital overnight for observation. His ribs were only cracked, thankfully, and required nothing more than tape to hold them. They wired his jaw shut as well, to keep the bones aligned while they fused. Sakura wasn't happy about being forced to leave him alone, but by then Issei was so high on painkillers he was hardly aware of what was happening.
When he woke the next morning she was already there, slumped into a chair by his bed and flipping idly through a magazine that looked like it had probably come from the waiting room. Still more than a little drugged, he tried to say her name, and discovered that it was very difficult indeed to speak when your jaws were wired together.
The noise he made in the attempt was enough to get her attention, though. She glanced up, then smiled when she saw his eyes were open. Tossing the magazine aside, she scooted forward in the chair and hovered over him. "Hey. Welcome back to the world of the living. I was starting to think you wouldn't wake up."
Still unable to speak coherently, he caught her hand and squeezed it instead, smiling a thank you. She blushed slightly and squeezed back, and continued holding his hand when he didn't try to pull away.
"I guess it's pretty hard to talk, huh?" she asked, and he nodded, rolling his eyes. Chuckling, she turned to dig in her purse, which was nearly large enough to be considered a proper bag. "Just a sec, I think I've got... yes!" She emerged with a pen and a notebook, slapping them down on the table over the bed triumphantly. Then she fiddled with the bed until he was sitting mostly upright.
Thank you, he wrote, then looked at her in surprise when she laughed.
"Sorry," she apologized, shaking her head. "It's just, I should've known you'd have such perfect handwriting."
Issei's lips twitched. Feminine, you mean, he accused with a sigh. He'd heard it before; teachers had always praised his delicate, precise brushstrokes, and it had been just one more thing for the bullies to tease him about.
"A little," she admitted. "But we already know the reason for that. Enju was good at calligraphy, and she had the best handwriting on the station." Issei nodded, eyes far away as he saw a brief vision of a page covered in beautiful, swirling alien script.
"So, what are you planning to do now?" she asked, and he closed his eyes and sighed. Opening them again, he started to write.
I have no idea, he admitted. Just covering the hospital bill is going to take more than...
She stopped him by covering his hand with hers again. "Don't worry about the hospital," she insisted. "No, I'm serious," she cut off the protesting noise he made. "I've got a trust fund from my grandparents, and my parents let me do pretty much what I want with the interest, so long as I don't touch the principle. Usually I just buy clothes and entertainment, but I think I can live for a month or two without any new clothes, if it'll help you out." Her voice turned wry, and she gave him a look.
He sighed and nodded, knowing from experience it was pointless to argue with her further. Once Sakura got her mind set on something, nothing short of the Apocalypse would deter her.
Then, I've got enough for a room and food for a few days. I'll have to find a job, probably quit school, he wrote, trying to hide how much pain the thought caused him. He enjoyed school in a way most students didn't, and loved to learn new things. He'd been desperately looking forward to university, and not only for the excuse to move away from his family and into a dorm.
Sakura didn't seem any more pleased with the idea than he was. She sat frowning, tapping her bottom lip with one nail while she thought. "It'd be a crime for you to drop out of school now," she finally said. "You're so close to graduating. How good are your grades? What'd you get on the mock exams?"
Top five percent, he wrote, and her eyes widened. "You're kidding! Gods, Issei, that's amazing! I had no idea you were that smart!" He blushed faintly, and shook his head. It wasn't intelligence, so much as the fact that he'd had nothing much to do with his time but study since he and Jinpachi had stopped being close. That, and the hope that studying would provide him with an excuse for why he hadn't brought any girls home to meet his family.
"All right, there's absolutely no way you're dropping out of school now, not with marks like those," she said, standing to pace back and forth in the narrow space between the bed and the window. He watched her, a little bemused, feeling rather like he'd just handed his life over to her somehow. "I assume you were aiming for the top schools?" At his nod, she continued, "Would you be willing to lower your expectations? With grades like those, if you apply to some of the middle-class universities, you could get a scholarship. Maybe even a full scholarship, if you studied really hard between now and then."
That was something he hadn't considered. He hadn't needed to, since his father was planning to pay his way through school. Issei narrowed his eyes. He had no lasting attachment to the idea of attending Toudai, beyond the prestige involved. A degree from a lesser school was better than no degree at all, and he had no chance of getting a scholarship to a school like Toudai.
There was just one small problem... A scholarship won't help me in the meantime, he reminded her. I still need to eat, and somewhere to sleep. If I try to work enough to support myself and go to school, I'll have no time left to study. If I just work and study, I'll miss learning everything from the second half of senior year, which is really important. I can't do all three.
"No, but the two you're going to do are 'school' and 'study', not 'work'," she declared, twisting to face him with her hands on her hips. "Not if I have anything to say about it. Let me talk to my parents. I'm sure I can convince them to let you board with us. We've got an extra room that's just being used for storage right now, and if you helped out around the house, that would cover your food and stuff."
He blushed, scandalized. I can't move in with you! he protested. The rumours... your reputation...
"Oh, screw my reputation," she cut him off, waving a hand as if to dismiss the concern. "I have no intention of settling down to be a good little wife until after I've got my degree and worked for a few years, anyway. And I'm not going to marry someone who would be put off by the fact that I helped out a friend in trouble."
What about your parents? he pointed out. Won't they be suspicious about us? And won't they want to know why I need to move in?
"We'll just tell them the truth. No," she grabbed his hand and squeezed it when he instinctively recoiled in panic. "It's okay, Issei, I swear. My uncle is gay, and it was my dad who convinced his parents to reconcile with him. They won't have anything against you. And it will convince them more than anything else we could say that there's nothing going on between us behind their backs."
Issei ducked his head, fighting another blush, knowing she was probably doing the same. They were both aware of the attraction she had for him... he could hardly have missed it, being an empath. But there was a tacit agreement between them not to bring it up or let it interfere with their friendship. He devoutly hoped she would find someone else to love someday soon. He didn't want her to end up feeling about her friendship with him the way he felt about his with Jinpachi. He wouldn't wish that trapped, endlessly frustrated feeling on his worst enemy, let alone his best friend.
Her infatuation with him was new though, not something carried over from their past lives, so he thought there was a good chance she'd get over it like any other unrequited crush.
In the meantime, he was torn by her offer. Having a place to live would mean he would be able to finish school, as he so desperately wanted to do. But he felt it would be a terrible imposition on her family, not the sort of thing that could be made up for by doing odd jobs around the house.
She plucked the pen from his fingers and tapped the frown lines between his brows with it, grinning at him. "Think about it after we've talked to my parents. There's no point in worrying about it until then. For now, they won't be back until tomorrow afternoon, so you can stay with me that long without worrying. And it's Saturday morning now; you missed today's classes, but there's no school tomorrow."
He smiled wryly and stole the pen back. I thought I was the telepath? he wrote, teasing her. She laughed. All right, I'll stay with you tonight, at least. We'll worry about the rest tomorrow.
"Great!" she exclaimed, bouncing lightly on her toes. "I'll go get a doctor then, so they can clear you to leave."
It didn't take long for him to get the 'ok' to go, though he received a couple of prescriptions for painkillers and several warnings about what he could and could not do without straining his cracked and broken bones. He changed back into his clothes, wincing every time he had to raise his arms, and finally met up with Sakura in the hospital lobby.
On impulse, he caught her in a hug before she had a chance to say anything. She squeaked in surprise, but then held him back just as tightly, though mindful of his ribs. "Thank you," he said, speaking slowly and clearly so she would understand him. Briefly he wished he was a strong enough telepath to just do all his communicating without resorting to vocal speech. It would have made the coming six weeks considerably easier.
"You'd do the same for me," she asserted, and he smiled and nodded. That was no less than the truth, and they both knew it. Laughing, she hugged him again before grabbing his hand and tugging him out the door.
It was sunny outside, the warmth of the sun a sharp contrast to the chill of the night before. Most of the snow had melted again, though Issei's breath still fogged in the air before him. Glancing at the angle of the sun, he realized it was only about noon. "You missed school?" he asked, wincing when the words came out mangled again.
She seemed to understand him well enough, though. "You're more important than a half day of school, idiot," she told him, smacking him on the shoulder. "You think I'd have been able to concentrate on school while I was worrying about you?"
His smile softened somewhat, though he could feel pain tugging at the edges of the expression as well. "You shouldn't worry about me so much," he said, turning his hand in her wrist to catch at hers and squeeze it again. Sometimes it amazed him that he felt as close to her, and as easy with her, as he did. Truly, they'd only known each other for a year.
And yet, they'd known each other for far longer than that. Like so many aspects of his life, he had to wonder how much was a result of his own feelings, and how much was the influence of Enju. He couldn't imagine there ever being anyone else he'd feel comfortable enough with to just take their hand, male or female. For one thing, his empathy was much stronger when he was in physical contact with someone.
But Shusuran had often touched Enju in friendship or comfort, and eventually the empathic woman had gotten used to it, even come to enjoy it. And likewise, Issei found that it rarely seemed awkward to touch Sakura in innocent, friendly ways. Especially as she'd gotten better at controlling her reaction to her crush on him.
"Let's go home," she said, tugging on his hand to lead him towards the parking lot. He went willingly, still feeling uncertain about the idea of calling her house 'home', but more than happy that she'd cared enough to make the offer.
By the time they were ensconced in her living room, debating what to do for the day, he was already feeling better about his situation. Being around her often had that effect on him; no matter how miserable he started out when he got together with her, her indomitable spirit always buoyed him.
He curled up in one corner of the large couch in her family's living room, and she sprawled over the rest of it, leaning against the far arm and looking at him over her raised knees. "So, do you want to talk about it?" she asked, no longer avoiding the subject now that they were in private. "Or would you rather just do something and try to forget about it?"
"There's not much to tell, honestly," he said, finally starting to get used to talking around the constriction in his jaw.
"But how did they find out?" Sakura persisted, her eyes locked on his. Her expression was full of concern. "I mean, it's not like you advertise it, or anything. As far as I know, the only people who even have a clue that you've ever been interested in guys are me and Ogura."
Issei shrugged and looked away, unable to meet her gaze straight on. "My father was trying to set up an arranged marriage for me. He was concerned that companies wouldn't be as happy to employ or promote me if I wasn't 'settled down with a proper wife'."
His tone came out more bitter than he'd intended, and he pulled one knee up to hug it to his chest. It was a defensive posture, and he knew it, but it made him feel better even though it put pressure on his ribs.
"Arranged marriage, huh?" Sakura sounded sympathetic, and a little scornful. "Honestly. Some people are still living in the past. I take it you weren't enamoured with the idea?"
He was a little surprised she'd managed to understand all of that, given how mangled his speech still sounded to him. It was possible, he supposed, that the underlying meanings and emotions of what he was saying were reaching her subconsciously through their mental connection, allowing her to understand him better. Even if he wasn't a telepath, maybe his empathy would be enough to help him make himself understood, at least with people he was close to.
"You could say that," he snorted. "I threw out every argument I could think of, but they had answer for them all. Except the last one. I was panicked, I didn't think about what I was saying." Eyes dark with remorse and anger, he stared down at his foot. "My father implied that I'd be... more relaxed with 'steady female companionship', and I blurted out the fact that I wasn't interested in women that way."
Sakura was silent for a long moment, digesting that in her own way. "Issei... don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you're not? I mean, I know you're in love with Ogura. But we already know that a lot of that is Enju's influence. What about other people? Have there been guys other than him that you've been interested in?"
Issei blinked, startled. He'd never really thought of it in those terms, before. He was in love with Jinpachi, therefore he was gay. Wasn't he?
"I... I can't think of any other men I've been attracted to," he admitted after a moment of hard thought. "I mean, I can appreciate that, say, Haruhiko is attractive, but I've never thought of doing anything with him."
"Yeah, but Haru is Shukaido, and Enju never had anything for him, so that might be a carryover, too," she pointed out. "What about other guys? Just regular guys on the street?"
"Not... not really," he said, biting his lip. Had he been wrong, then? He'd thought he'd laid to rest the differences between his feelings for Jinpachi and Enju's for Gyokuran, but what if he'd been wrong?
Except... "I can't think of any women I've thought of that way, either, though," he concluded, sighing. "I guess when it comes right down to it, I've been in love with Jinpachi as long as my body has been aware of that sort of thing. Whether it's Enju's influence or not, I've just never looked at anybody else, except in an objective, aesthetic sort of way."
He felt a spike of disappointment from her, quickly shielded, and knew that she'd been half hoping he would realize that he'd been overlooking an attraction to her, hidden under his obsession with Jinpachi. In some ways, he was disappointed, too. It would have been so easy to just fall in love with her, and they probably would have been happy together for a long time to come. But life was rarely that simple.
"I'm sorry, Sakura," he said softly, and he meant it. If he could have chosen, he'd have willingly loved her. He already loved her, in fact, he just didn't desire her. Any more than Enju had desired Shusuran.
She looked startled for a moment, before a wave of pink came over her cheeks. "Don't be stupid," she said, embarrassment making her snap a bit. "There's no reason for you to be sorry. I suppose I'll have to work on my shielding, though, if you're going to be living here." She grimaced. "Unfortunately, I can't think of any way of having you teach my parents to shield without giving away more of our secrets than we're willing to."
"It's not necessary," he assured her. "My parents and sister weren't shielded, after all. I'm used to it. I only pick up things from you so easily because I know you so well, and we have an emotional connection."
She nodded, and dropped the subject, but he could see from the determined look on her face that she planned to follow through on her promise to improve her shielding. Well, he wasn't about to complain. It would make things easier on both of them, she was right about that much.
"So what happened after you said that?" she asked. He glanced up at her through his bangs, uncertain what to say. How did you go about explaining that your father had kicked the shit out of you, then literally thrown you out on your ass? Misinterpreting his look, she hastily added, "If I'm being too nosy, you know you can always tell me to get lost."
"You're always nosy, I'm used to it," he reminded her, smiling slightly. "It's one of your more endearing qualities... most of the time." She threw a pillow at him when he added those last words, and he held up his hands to fend it off, laughing. That started a pillow fight, which lasted for a few minutes as they scuffled.
Finally they broke off, Issei breathing in shallow little pants as he tried to both get enough air through his clamped jaws and not strain his ribs at the same time. "All right, no more of that, or I'm going to suffocate," he declared when he finally had his breath back.
Her eyes darkened at the reminder of his injuries. "Your father did all that? After he found out?"
"After I refused to take it back, or to give in and marry the girl he had picked out," Issei replied with a slight nod, his eyes drifting away from hers again. "My mother and sister left the room - he hit me a few times, then dragged me to the door and threw me out. He said..." His voice broke, and he cleared his throat before continuing. "He said if I ever came near his daughter, he'd do worse than break my jaw."
"Damn it." Sakura looked pissed off, as if she was half tempted to march over to his father's house and tell the man a thing or two. He smiled wryly at her display of protective temper. Shusuran had been like that, too, always wanting to charge off and 'explain' things to Gyokuran after he'd unthinkingly hurt Enju in some way.
"My sister snuck out with my bag," he said, still avoiding her eyes. "When I had collected myself a little, I called you, and you know the rest." He didn't mention the phone call to Jinpachi. He wasn't ready to talk about that 'betrayal' yet, or how it made him feel. Later, when it didn't hurt quite so much to think about the way his former best friend had hung up on him without even waiting for an explanation.
Since he wasn't watching her, he was surprised when he suddenly felt her against his side, her arms wrapping around his shoulders to hold him tightly. "You're always welcome wherever I am, Issei," she promised him. "No matter what I'm doing, or whatever the circumstances are. Always, understand?"
Unable to speak, as much because of the tears caught in his throat as anything else, he simply nodded and turned slightly so he could hug her back. He had no idea what he'd done to gain the loyalty and love of a woman like Sakura, in this life or his previous one. Whatever it was, it must have been good, because nobody deserved a friend as good as she was.
I know absolutely nothing at all about Sakura's family, so I'm making this up out of whole cloth. I apologize for any discrepancies between this and the series/manga.
Chapter 3
They kept him in the hospital overnight for observation. His ribs were only cracked, thankfully, and required nothing more than tape to hold them. They wired his jaw shut as well, to keep the bones aligned while they fused. Sakura wasn't happy about being forced to leave him alone, but by then Issei was so high on painkillers he was hardly aware of what was happening.
When he woke the next morning she was already there, slumped into a chair by his bed and flipping idly through a magazine that looked like it had probably come from the waiting room. Still more than a little drugged, he tried to say her name, and discovered that it was very difficult indeed to speak when your jaws were wired together.
The noise he made in the attempt was enough to get her attention, though. She glanced up, then smiled when she saw his eyes were open. Tossing the magazine aside, she scooted forward in the chair and hovered over him. "Hey. Welcome back to the world of the living. I was starting to think you wouldn't wake up."
Still unable to speak coherently, he caught her hand and squeezed it instead, smiling a thank you. She blushed slightly and squeezed back, and continued holding his hand when he didn't try to pull away.
"I guess it's pretty hard to talk, huh?" she asked, and he nodded, rolling his eyes. Chuckling, she turned to dig in her purse, which was nearly large enough to be considered a proper bag. "Just a sec, I think I've got... yes!" She emerged with a pen and a notebook, slapping them down on the table over the bed triumphantly. Then she fiddled with the bed until he was sitting mostly upright.
Thank you, he wrote, then looked at her in surprise when she laughed.
"Sorry," she apologized, shaking her head. "It's just, I should've known you'd have such perfect handwriting."
Issei's lips twitched. Feminine, you mean, he accused with a sigh. He'd heard it before; teachers had always praised his delicate, precise brushstrokes, and it had been just one more thing for the bullies to tease him about.
"A little," she admitted. "But we already know the reason for that. Enju was good at calligraphy, and she had the best handwriting on the station." Issei nodded, eyes far away as he saw a brief vision of a page covered in beautiful, swirling alien script.
"So, what are you planning to do now?" she asked, and he closed his eyes and sighed. Opening them again, he started to write.
I have no idea, he admitted. Just covering the hospital bill is going to take more than...
She stopped him by covering his hand with hers again. "Don't worry about the hospital," she insisted. "No, I'm serious," she cut off the protesting noise he made. "I've got a trust fund from my grandparents, and my parents let me do pretty much what I want with the interest, so long as I don't touch the principle. Usually I just buy clothes and entertainment, but I think I can live for a month or two without any new clothes, if it'll help you out." Her voice turned wry, and she gave him a look.
He sighed and nodded, knowing from experience it was pointless to argue with her further. Once Sakura got her mind set on something, nothing short of the Apocalypse would deter her.
Then, I've got enough for a room and food for a few days. I'll have to find a job, probably quit school, he wrote, trying to hide how much pain the thought caused him. He enjoyed school in a way most students didn't, and loved to learn new things. He'd been desperately looking forward to university, and not only for the excuse to move away from his family and into a dorm.
Sakura didn't seem any more pleased with the idea than he was. She sat frowning, tapping her bottom lip with one nail while she thought. "It'd be a crime for you to drop out of school now," she finally said. "You're so close to graduating. How good are your grades? What'd you get on the mock exams?"
Top five percent, he wrote, and her eyes widened. "You're kidding! Gods, Issei, that's amazing! I had no idea you were that smart!" He blushed faintly, and shook his head. It wasn't intelligence, so much as the fact that he'd had nothing much to do with his time but study since he and Jinpachi had stopped being close. That, and the hope that studying would provide him with an excuse for why he hadn't brought any girls home to meet his family.
"All right, there's absolutely no way you're dropping out of school now, not with marks like those," she said, standing to pace back and forth in the narrow space between the bed and the window. He watched her, a little bemused, feeling rather like he'd just handed his life over to her somehow. "I assume you were aiming for the top schools?" At his nod, she continued, "Would you be willing to lower your expectations? With grades like those, if you apply to some of the middle-class universities, you could get a scholarship. Maybe even a full scholarship, if you studied really hard between now and then."
That was something he hadn't considered. He hadn't needed to, since his father was planning to pay his way through school. Issei narrowed his eyes. He had no lasting attachment to the idea of attending Toudai, beyond the prestige involved. A degree from a lesser school was better than no degree at all, and he had no chance of getting a scholarship to a school like Toudai.
There was just one small problem... A scholarship won't help me in the meantime, he reminded her. I still need to eat, and somewhere to sleep. If I try to work enough to support myself and go to school, I'll have no time left to study. If I just work and study, I'll miss learning everything from the second half of senior year, which is really important. I can't do all three.
"No, but the two you're going to do are 'school' and 'study', not 'work'," she declared, twisting to face him with her hands on her hips. "Not if I have anything to say about it. Let me talk to my parents. I'm sure I can convince them to let you board with us. We've got an extra room that's just being used for storage right now, and if you helped out around the house, that would cover your food and stuff."
He blushed, scandalized. I can't move in with you! he protested. The rumours... your reputation...
"Oh, screw my reputation," she cut him off, waving a hand as if to dismiss the concern. "I have no intention of settling down to be a good little wife until after I've got my degree and worked for a few years, anyway. And I'm not going to marry someone who would be put off by the fact that I helped out a friend in trouble."
What about your parents? he pointed out. Won't they be suspicious about us? And won't they want to know why I need to move in?
"We'll just tell them the truth. No," she grabbed his hand and squeezed it when he instinctively recoiled in panic. "It's okay, Issei, I swear. My uncle is gay, and it was my dad who convinced his parents to reconcile with him. They won't have anything against you. And it will convince them more than anything else we could say that there's nothing going on between us behind their backs."
Issei ducked his head, fighting another blush, knowing she was probably doing the same. They were both aware of the attraction she had for him... he could hardly have missed it, being an empath. But there was a tacit agreement between them not to bring it up or let it interfere with their friendship. He devoutly hoped she would find someone else to love someday soon. He didn't want her to end up feeling about her friendship with him the way he felt about his with Jinpachi. He wouldn't wish that trapped, endlessly frustrated feeling on his worst enemy, let alone his best friend.
Her infatuation with him was new though, not something carried over from their past lives, so he thought there was a good chance she'd get over it like any other unrequited crush.
In the meantime, he was torn by her offer. Having a place to live would mean he would be able to finish school, as he so desperately wanted to do. But he felt it would be a terrible imposition on her family, not the sort of thing that could be made up for by doing odd jobs around the house.
She plucked the pen from his fingers and tapped the frown lines between his brows with it, grinning at him. "Think about it after we've talked to my parents. There's no point in worrying about it until then. For now, they won't be back until tomorrow afternoon, so you can stay with me that long without worrying. And it's Saturday morning now; you missed today's classes, but there's no school tomorrow."
He smiled wryly and stole the pen back. I thought I was the telepath? he wrote, teasing her. She laughed. All right, I'll stay with you tonight, at least. We'll worry about the rest tomorrow.
"Great!" she exclaimed, bouncing lightly on her toes. "I'll go get a doctor then, so they can clear you to leave."
It didn't take long for him to get the 'ok' to go, though he received a couple of prescriptions for painkillers and several warnings about what he could and could not do without straining his cracked and broken bones. He changed back into his clothes, wincing every time he had to raise his arms, and finally met up with Sakura in the hospital lobby.
On impulse, he caught her in a hug before she had a chance to say anything. She squeaked in surprise, but then held him back just as tightly, though mindful of his ribs. "Thank you," he said, speaking slowly and clearly so she would understand him. Briefly he wished he was a strong enough telepath to just do all his communicating without resorting to vocal speech. It would have made the coming six weeks considerably easier.
"You'd do the same for me," she asserted, and he smiled and nodded. That was no less than the truth, and they both knew it. Laughing, she hugged him again before grabbing his hand and tugging him out the door.
It was sunny outside, the warmth of the sun a sharp contrast to the chill of the night before. Most of the snow had melted again, though Issei's breath still fogged in the air before him. Glancing at the angle of the sun, he realized it was only about noon. "You missed school?" he asked, wincing when the words came out mangled again.
She seemed to understand him well enough, though. "You're more important than a half day of school, idiot," she told him, smacking him on the shoulder. "You think I'd have been able to concentrate on school while I was worrying about you?"
His smile softened somewhat, though he could feel pain tugging at the edges of the expression as well. "You shouldn't worry about me so much," he said, turning his hand in her wrist to catch at hers and squeeze it again. Sometimes it amazed him that he felt as close to her, and as easy with her, as he did. Truly, they'd only known each other for a year.
And yet, they'd known each other for far longer than that. Like so many aspects of his life, he had to wonder how much was a result of his own feelings, and how much was the influence of Enju. He couldn't imagine there ever being anyone else he'd feel comfortable enough with to just take their hand, male or female. For one thing, his empathy was much stronger when he was in physical contact with someone.
But Shusuran had often touched Enju in friendship or comfort, and eventually the empathic woman had gotten used to it, even come to enjoy it. And likewise, Issei found that it rarely seemed awkward to touch Sakura in innocent, friendly ways. Especially as she'd gotten better at controlling her reaction to her crush on him.
"Let's go home," she said, tugging on his hand to lead him towards the parking lot. He went willingly, still feeling uncertain about the idea of calling her house 'home', but more than happy that she'd cared enough to make the offer.
By the time they were ensconced in her living room, debating what to do for the day, he was already feeling better about his situation. Being around her often had that effect on him; no matter how miserable he started out when he got together with her, her indomitable spirit always buoyed him.
He curled up in one corner of the large couch in her family's living room, and she sprawled over the rest of it, leaning against the far arm and looking at him over her raised knees. "So, do you want to talk about it?" she asked, no longer avoiding the subject now that they were in private. "Or would you rather just do something and try to forget about it?"
"There's not much to tell, honestly," he said, finally starting to get used to talking around the constriction in his jaw.
"But how did they find out?" Sakura persisted, her eyes locked on his. Her expression was full of concern. "I mean, it's not like you advertise it, or anything. As far as I know, the only people who even have a clue that you've ever been interested in guys are me and Ogura."
Issei shrugged and looked away, unable to meet her gaze straight on. "My father was trying to set up an arranged marriage for me. He was concerned that companies wouldn't be as happy to employ or promote me if I wasn't 'settled down with a proper wife'."
His tone came out more bitter than he'd intended, and he pulled one knee up to hug it to his chest. It was a defensive posture, and he knew it, but it made him feel better even though it put pressure on his ribs.
"Arranged marriage, huh?" Sakura sounded sympathetic, and a little scornful. "Honestly. Some people are still living in the past. I take it you weren't enamoured with the idea?"
He was a little surprised she'd managed to understand all of that, given how mangled his speech still sounded to him. It was possible, he supposed, that the underlying meanings and emotions of what he was saying were reaching her subconsciously through their mental connection, allowing her to understand him better. Even if he wasn't a telepath, maybe his empathy would be enough to help him make himself understood, at least with people he was close to.
"You could say that," he snorted. "I threw out every argument I could think of, but they had answer for them all. Except the last one. I was panicked, I didn't think about what I was saying." Eyes dark with remorse and anger, he stared down at his foot. "My father implied that I'd be... more relaxed with 'steady female companionship', and I blurted out the fact that I wasn't interested in women that way."
Sakura was silent for a long moment, digesting that in her own way. "Issei... don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure you're not? I mean, I know you're in love with Ogura. But we already know that a lot of that is Enju's influence. What about other people? Have there been guys other than him that you've been interested in?"
Issei blinked, startled. He'd never really thought of it in those terms, before. He was in love with Jinpachi, therefore he was gay. Wasn't he?
"I... I can't think of any other men I've been attracted to," he admitted after a moment of hard thought. "I mean, I can appreciate that, say, Haruhiko is attractive, but I've never thought of doing anything with him."
"Yeah, but Haru is Shukaido, and Enju never had anything for him, so that might be a carryover, too," she pointed out. "What about other guys? Just regular guys on the street?"
"Not... not really," he said, biting his lip. Had he been wrong, then? He'd thought he'd laid to rest the differences between his feelings for Jinpachi and Enju's for Gyokuran, but what if he'd been wrong?
Except... "I can't think of any women I've thought of that way, either, though," he concluded, sighing. "I guess when it comes right down to it, I've been in love with Jinpachi as long as my body has been aware of that sort of thing. Whether it's Enju's influence or not, I've just never looked at anybody else, except in an objective, aesthetic sort of way."
He felt a spike of disappointment from her, quickly shielded, and knew that she'd been half hoping he would realize that he'd been overlooking an attraction to her, hidden under his obsession with Jinpachi. In some ways, he was disappointed, too. It would have been so easy to just fall in love with her, and they probably would have been happy together for a long time to come. But life was rarely that simple.
"I'm sorry, Sakura," he said softly, and he meant it. If he could have chosen, he'd have willingly loved her. He already loved her, in fact, he just didn't desire her. Any more than Enju had desired Shusuran.
She looked startled for a moment, before a wave of pink came over her cheeks. "Don't be stupid," she said, embarrassment making her snap a bit. "There's no reason for you to be sorry. I suppose I'll have to work on my shielding, though, if you're going to be living here." She grimaced. "Unfortunately, I can't think of any way of having you teach my parents to shield without giving away more of our secrets than we're willing to."
"It's not necessary," he assured her. "My parents and sister weren't shielded, after all. I'm used to it. I only pick up things from you so easily because I know you so well, and we have an emotional connection."
She nodded, and dropped the subject, but he could see from the determined look on her face that she planned to follow through on her promise to improve her shielding. Well, he wasn't about to complain. It would make things easier on both of them, she was right about that much.
"So what happened after you said that?" she asked. He glanced up at her through his bangs, uncertain what to say. How did you go about explaining that your father had kicked the shit out of you, then literally thrown you out on your ass? Misinterpreting his look, she hastily added, "If I'm being too nosy, you know you can always tell me to get lost."
"You're always nosy, I'm used to it," he reminded her, smiling slightly. "It's one of your more endearing qualities... most of the time." She threw a pillow at him when he added those last words, and he held up his hands to fend it off, laughing. That started a pillow fight, which lasted for a few minutes as they scuffled.
Finally they broke off, Issei breathing in shallow little pants as he tried to both get enough air through his clamped jaws and not strain his ribs at the same time. "All right, no more of that, or I'm going to suffocate," he declared when he finally had his breath back.
Her eyes darkened at the reminder of his injuries. "Your father did all that? After he found out?"
"After I refused to take it back, or to give in and marry the girl he had picked out," Issei replied with a slight nod, his eyes drifting away from hers again. "My mother and sister left the room - he hit me a few times, then dragged me to the door and threw me out. He said..." His voice broke, and he cleared his throat before continuing. "He said if I ever came near his daughter, he'd do worse than break my jaw."
"Damn it." Sakura looked pissed off, as if she was half tempted to march over to his father's house and tell the man a thing or two. He smiled wryly at her display of protective temper. Shusuran had been like that, too, always wanting to charge off and 'explain' things to Gyokuran after he'd unthinkingly hurt Enju in some way.
"My sister snuck out with my bag," he said, still avoiding her eyes. "When I had collected myself a little, I called you, and you know the rest." He didn't mention the phone call to Jinpachi. He wasn't ready to talk about that 'betrayal' yet, or how it made him feel. Later, when it didn't hurt quite so much to think about the way his former best friend had hung up on him without even waiting for an explanation.
Since he wasn't watching her, he was surprised when he suddenly felt her against his side, her arms wrapping around his shoulders to hold him tightly. "You're always welcome wherever I am, Issei," she promised him. "No matter what I'm doing, or whatever the circumstances are. Always, understand?"
Unable to speak, as much because of the tears caught in his throat as anything else, he simply nodded and turned slightly so he could hug her back. He had no idea what he'd done to gain the loyalty and love of a woman like Sakura, in this life or his previous one. Whatever it was, it must have been good, because nobody deserved a friend as good as she was.