Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Girls & Boys, sung by Good Charlotte.

Meeting the Eligibles

Girls like these boys like these boys like these girls
Girls with the bodies like boys with Ferraris
Girls don't like boys, girls like cars and money
-- Girls & Boys, Good Charlotte

Since Draco missed nearly half the meeting, he received a letter on what would happen next. It read as such:

Mr. Draco Malfoy,

You left the meeting early, so I will inform you on what you missed.
Make sure you make an appointment by owl on when you would like to start meeting possible partners. Set a date and time. These will probably be a regular time on regular patterns of days. Every day or every other day meetings are recommended. If you find a girl you like and would like to take her out, the regular meetings will cease until you decide to try dating another girl. This is to ensure that you are not dating two girls at once. Thank you for signing up at Soul Mates. Remember, "Wait for the one who will say, 'You're the only one for me, always."

Hannah Abbot, Head of Coordination

Draco decided to make his first meeting on a Friday afternoon. As he walked in, he again saw that flash of red hair as Ginny disappeared around a corner. Why on earth was she here all the time? It was like she lived here. She must be desperate.

He spoke to a witch, who took him to yet another room, this time in a hallway labeled Meetings. He waited there for ten minutes for the first girl to appear. But when none came, he took out the heavy folder containing all the women he would meet. He had been so busy with work that he hadn't had a chance to read through even one of the profiles.

The women were in order from most compatible to least compatible, so he started from the top. He had just glanced at the women's photo and thought, maybe this isn't so bad, when the door opened. A tall, skinny brunette crept inside the room. She immediately sat herself opposite Draco, with the coffee table between them.

With a small 'pop' a flowered tea pot that reminded Draco of a set he'd seen at his grandmother's home, two cups, and a plate of ginger snaps appeared on the table. The girl crossed and uncrossed her legs nervously. There was no doubt she was a beauty, though she hadn't said anything yet.

"Tea?" Draco asked, breaking the ominous silence that stretched between the two. The girl nodded but did not speak. He realized he didn't even know what her name was. "What's your name?"

The girl replied softly, "Mary." And quickly closed her mouth again.

If Draco had to describe his first meeting in one word, he would say it was mundane. If Draco had to describe the first girl he met, he would say she was doll-like. Pretty enough to look at, but easy to be forgotten. For thirty minutes the pair sat in an akward silence, silence that was only disturbed by the tiny clinks as tea cups were set down in their saucers. Finally a small bell chimed, indicating the end of the session. As Mary left, a pot of ink and a quill appeared to replace the tea and cookies.

At the bottom of Mary's profile was a small box containing the following choices:

Yes

No

I would like to meet her one more time

He quickly checked 'no', as if that possibility would disappear if he didn't check it in the first few seconds. He mentally sighed in relief when that profile disappeared in a small cloud of sparkling dust and a 'poof'. And waited for the next woman.

The next woman couldn't have been more different. She bounded inside the room and sat comfortably in the chair. When the tea appeared, she poured herself a cup before Draco could even offer to do it. Then she started talking.

"I'm so glad you decided to pick a partner. Dating too many girls at one time is not good for you. Hopefully me and you will find many things to talk about."

Draco could barely get a word in due to her rambling. "I'm sorry, but I never da –"

And talking. "Hush hush, I remembered the Parkinson scandal. Shame on you for trying to hide it now."

And talking. "You should be honest to yourself. For example, the one time when my best friend asked me whether I had slept with her boyfriend, I said yes right away. I didn't try to avoid the question or deny it. That's the way to live life."

Draco was now just tuning her out. She was just saying, "I think I set a good example for other people" when the bell chimed again. Draco practically pushed her out of the room and ran for the quill and ink to check 'no'.

Three women, an hour and a half later, an exhausted Draco wearily checked 'no' again.

The woman after the talkative one was too cliché and simpering. She reminded Draco too much of Pansy Parkinson, the first women he had dated back at Hogwarts. She must have read an instruction manual on how to date. All she could talk about was herself, Draco and herself, and Draco. She continuously clutched at Draco's arm and laughed too much at whatever he said, even if it wasn't funny.

"Oh Draco, you were so brave!"

"Draco darling, that was simply amazing!"

"Drakie, how did you survive in that forest?"

She had even tried to give Draco a neck massage, to which Draco had replied, "You know, I think we should get to know each other better before we start physically interact. I want to respect you." With a charming smile, of course. And she had backed off, as Draco had known it would. That line always worked.

The next woman was even worse. She was a feminist, and that was never good, combined with a wand.

"Women are so under appreciated by men. Did you know the statistic for men who beat their wives is dangerously high?"

"Even muggle women have some justice done to them!"

"What do you think of Eric the Oddball's treatment of his mistresses?"

Draco had never before experienced such questions and statements. He could only nod and smile, occasionally answering, "That was horrible injustice to them" with a firm and angry tone.

Before she left she had tried to make Draco sign some sort of petition for witches' rights. When he refused, she had pulled out her wand and attemteped to send a jelly legs jinx in Draco's direction. Luckily he managed to duck it and the women was pulled out by a tough looking wizard who muttered an apology to Draco before dragging the screaming and struggling women off.

The next woman was only mildly better. She kept crying because her pet pufferfish died the night before. Never good with crying women, Draco could only sit and pat her back as she howled and wailed.

"I s-still remember w-when he drank out of the t-toilet. It was s-so cute." Sob. Sob. Sniffle.

Blowing of nose. "And that t-that time when h-he sat on my s-shoulder and licked my e-ear. It t-tickled." Blowing of nose again. "I l-laughed, and he spit at m-meeeeee" she howled. "H-he was so c-cute."

As she left she turned back and sniffled, "I'm sorry. I'm j-just really s-sad right now."

Draco stared as the next woman stepped into the room with a large handbag. She had so little clothes on that it would probably amount to Draco's boxes and socks. When she sat down Draco could see her lacy underwear, her miniskirt was so short.

Here we go again. Draco smiled yet another charming smile. "Would you like some tea?" He was bemused when she shook her head.

She leaned forward and whispered in what was supposed to be a sexy voice, "No, I don't want tea. I want you, tonight."

Draco sat up. "Excuse me?" He raised an eyebrow, unable to keep a knowing smirk of his face.

"C'mon. I know you're not dumb. My name's Alison, just in case you want to scream it tonight."

Draco was now a bit shocked by her forwardness. He didn't date sluts. Actually, his reputation as a player was a bit exaggerated. He just couldn't stay with one woman. They bored him. In one Witch Weekly article, he told the interviewer that his way of dating was just to "look for a soul mate". He didn't intentionally make the women love him and then dump them for fun.

Alison continued, "I'm an ex-stripper." She rummaged in her bag, murmuring, "I know I have the handcuffs somewhere." Producing said handcuffs, she said, "So where will it be, my place or yo –"

Draco decided to interrupt. "I really have no intention of sleeping with you today." Or ever, for that matter, he thought.

Alison narrowed her eyes. "Aren't you Draco Malfoy, player extraordinaire?"

"I'm not a player."

Alison huffed. She took her bag, nearly hitting Draco in the head with it, and left. Draco could hear her angrily muttering, "All the hot ones are gay."

Draco yelled down the hall, "I'm not gay!" No one insulted his masculinity!

She yelled back. "Well, you won't sleep with me!"

"Who on earth sleeps with a guy on the first date. Wait a second, this isn't even a date!" He said somewhat sarcastically. Attracted by the loud yelling, people were now emerging from their rooms, looking around for the ruckus.

Alison huffed again. She was starting to sound like the huffing and puffing bowtruckle in that one wizarding fairy tale where the three woodlice built different kinds of homes so the bowtruckle wouldn't eat them. "I do!" She left.

Ginny was in her office when she heard a faint yelling. She peeked around her office just in time to see an angry women leave through the front doors.

An equally angry Draco Malfoy soon swept, Snape-like, out through those same doors.

Grace saw Ginny looking at the chaos. "I heard Draco Malfoy got into a yelling match with one of the girls he was meeting at the time."

Ginny shook her head in annoyance. "He's going to scare all my clients away." Inwardly, she was wondering what got Draco so mad. Then she wondered why she cared.

Draco apparated to Blaise's flat as soon as he left Soul Mates. He would have gone to his mother's mansion, but he was in a bad mood and she didn't do anything. He didn't want to take his anger out on her.

He was just so tired of everyone thinking he was a player. True, he dated many girls, many of them models or singers, but really didn't try to leave them.

Blaise arrived from the kitchen. He could always be counted to calm Draco down with his wise words and his tea. Draco drooled thinking of Blaise's tea. It was a secret recipe to Blaise, and he wouldn't give it to Draco. Draco always joked that it was to ensure Draco would visit Blaise more often. Perfect for windy fall days like today, it was the best lemon tea in the world, neither bitter nor too sweet. Much like how I'd like my women.

He handed Draco a full mug of tea, taking one for himself. "So, what's up? I have seen you look that pissed in a while, mate." Blaise looked at Draco. "Not since Chaton used your dragon leather boots as a scratching post," he said in a teasing way.

"Why do you insist on calling your kitten, kitten, in French? Just call him kitten and spare the poor souls who can't speak French." Draco asked this every time he was there. Blaise always answered differently.

"Why do you keep asking me that?" Blaise shot back, laughing, petting the aforementioned Chaton.

Draco sighed. "Today was horrible. I was attacked verbally and physically, cried on, and called gay."

"Well, that's got to be a blow to your pride." When Draco didn't respond, he continued. "I don't think you're gay."

Draco glared at Blaise. "Alright, I'm a prat. I admit it." Blaise's voice deepened. "But give it another try. Maybe the right woman is just a few women away. Have you seen any women around the place that catches your eye?"

Draco thought of Ginny. The Ginny who fled his arms the moment she realized who he was.

"No."

Author's Notes: I KNOW, NO DRACO/GINNY. NOT YET. THERE SHOULD BE MORE NEXT CHAPTER if all goes according to plan. But here's a preview for all you wonderful readers:

In that picture he was leaning against the castle door. He still had that same smirky smile plastered on his face in the picture, and occasionally he would wink. Ginny closed the book quickly when she realized that she was examining an old picture of Draco.

That night she didn't have any old memories, rather, she dreamed of stormy silver eyes.

-- Chapter 6, I Can't Stand It Anymore