Yes, I'm finally writing again! I'm hoping to return to the same frequency of posting that I had before, so this should be done before too much longer. In the meantime, enjoy!

Chapter 19

In the end, Issei reflected, it hadn't been as difficult to avoid Jinpachi as he'd feared it would be. This was in large part because the redhead had made no attempts to contact him since the disastrous night in the pub several weeks ago. Issei often saw him in class, and Jinpachi sometimes watched him rather than the professor, but overall they hadn't even so much as nodded a greeting to each other.

It was hard to keep reminding himself that it was better this way. If he hadn't had to see Jinpachi three times a week, it might have been easier, but his heart ached fiercely every time he saw the other boy. It didn't help that he could feel Jinpachi's own longing and regret through the bond they still shared, no matter how hard Issei tried to shield. He could only hope he wasn't projecting at Jinpachi as well, or the redhead would inevitably figure out who he was.

Sakura had been appropriately apologetic that her suggestion had blown up in Issei's face so badly. She'd practically waited on him hand and foot for a week after, until he'd finally gotten fed up and begged her to just drop it. He didn't blame her in any way. She'd been right, theoretically, about what it was he needed to do in order to close Jinpachi's chapter in his life once and for all. It was his own damn fault he hadn't been able to follow through properly, and it certainly wasn't her fault that his heart still broke anew every time he saw Jinpachi.

Summer was in full swing, and the cicadas were obnoxiously loud as Issei exited the psychology building. He hadn't seen Jinpachi in class that day, so for once he'd actually been able to pay proper attention to the lecture. It had been a fascinating lecture, too, so he was glad for the chance.

Briefly he wondered why his old friend had missed the class, before scolding himself for allowing the thought. Sakura had skipped the class as well, down with a nasty flu that was running rampant through the campus despite the odd time of year for it. Chances were good Jinpachi was out with the same thing. Issei had worked through his own bout of it the week before, and while he hadn't let himself miss any classes, he might as well have for all the attention he'd been able to pay.

He stepped out of the way of the foot traffic, pausing in the shade of a small tree and enjoying the way the sun shifted over his face as the leaves moved in the wind, blocking the light. It really was a gorgeous day. He didn't have the money free to be able to eat at his favourite cafe, but he had enough time to go home and grab a sandwich, and eat in one of the parks. Smiling, he decided to do just that. It was too nice to eat in the windowless cafeteria.

The only warning he got was a brief flash of triumph; Jinpachi stepped out from behind the building next to the psych wing, and blocked Issei's route. Panicked Issei froze, staring wide-eyed at the taller boy.

They just looked at each other for a long moment, Issei nervous, Jinpachi oddly determined. Finally Issei managed to get his voice to work, albeit hoarsely. "J... Ogura-san. Wh-what are you doing here?" He cursed himself, both for the slip, the stutter, and the sheer inanity of that comment.

"Waiting for you," Jinpachi replied, his voice low enough to send shivers down Issei's spine. He'd never seen his friend looking like this. This wasn't anger, or... or any other emotion Issei was used to from Jinpachi. In fact, he realized, he wasn't picking up much of anything directly; the other boy was so focused he was unintentionally blocking Issei's empathy.

Somehow Issei gathered the courage to face him head on, and this time his voice didn't waver. "I thought I asked you not to pursue me," he said quietly. "You didn't strike me as the type of person to be rude enough to pester a girl after she's turned you down."

"You did, and I'm not," Jinpachi agreed with no change in his expression or inflection. "Usually. I'm making an exception, just this once."

"Don't," Issei replied flatly, starting to turn away. "You already have your answer, please don't..."

"Please." Jinpachi shifted so he was in front of Issei again, and finally his voice softened a bit. Issei made the mistake of meeting his eyes; Jinpachi's gaze was full of pleading, though Issei still couldn't quite make out exactly what emotions the other boy was feeling. "Please, I know this is forward and horribly rude of me, but... I need to talk to you. Just talk, I swear, I won't touch you."

"For what purpose?" Issei countered, feeling his heart squeeze. "I..." he swallowed hard and forced the lie. "I'm not interested in a relationship with you. That's all I have to say."

"At least tell me why," Jinpachi insisted. "It's not because you're not interested, don't tell me that. That kiss... I know you felt it too. I could see it in your eyes. I've never felt anything like that before."

Desperate to get away from this conversation before it headed into dangerous territory, Issei fished for an excuse to leave. "I don't want to have this conversation here," he said, making his voice firm. "It's too public. And I'm not about to follow you somewhere private; you're acting like a stalker. Please leave me alone."

Jinpachi gave him a quirky smile. "I know I sound psychotic. Trust me, I've run this speech through my head so many times trying to find a way to make myself not sound like a stalker, I've got it memorized." He sighed, and ran a hand through his hair, dishevelling it. "I'm not asking you to go somewhere private. Just... semi-private? A corner of one of the campus gardens, or something. You'd still be in public view, but people wouldn't be able to overhear us as easily."

Issei stared at him, trying to decide the best course of action. With the determination that was radiating from Jinpachi at the moment, he was probably perfectly willing to follow Issei all the way home, until Issei agreed to talk to him. Maybe it would be best just to get this over with now.

"I'll go, on one condition," he said finally. Jinpachi's eyes lit up, but Issei raised a hand to stem his old friend's enthusiasm. "The condition is that once I've heard you out, you promise not to ever approach me again. If I'm going to have to actively avoid you for the rest of my time at this school, I might as well start now."

The redhead sighed and gave him a rueful grin. "How about, I promise not to approach you again if your answer is still the same once you've heard me out? If I do manage to change your mind, it'd be pretty awkward for me to keep my word."

Issei's lips quirked despite his best efforts not to respond to Jinpachi's charm. "Fair enough," he agreed. "I've got a class in..." he glanced at the clock tower, just visible from this angle. "About an hour and a half. You've got that long, and no longer." Hopefully it wouldn't take that long. Issei wasn't sure he could spend that much time in Jinpachi's company, with the redhead trying to persuade him to do exactly what he wanted to do, without breaking down.

Nodding once, Jinpachi then turned and started to walk towards the nearest school garden, not even looking to see if Issei was following. He hurried after his friend, clutching his bag to his chest in a futile effort to help calm his pounding heart. This was a mistake, just as every encounter with Jinpachi had been a mistake, but hopefully it would be his last mistake.

The campus gardens were tucked away between the buildings, and consisted of long, winding paths through quite a lot of pretty flowers and shady trees. Since there were no exits at the backs of the buildings, and the paths meandered quite a bit, they were in no way a short cut between classes. There was surprisingly little traffic in them, even during the busiest parts of the school day. It wasn't hard for them to find a corner to themselves. As Jinpachi had promised it was secluded enough for them to have a private conversation, but still in plain view of the rest of the world.

Issei's nerves grew with every step they took. By the time they finally stopped, it was all he could do not to shake with dread of what was coming. Jinpachi stopped and turned to face him, and gave him a curious look, clearly surprised at Issei's expression.

"I won't hurt you," the redhead promised softly. "You don't have to be afraid of me, I promise. I really do just want to talk to you."

Issei couldn't meet his eyes. "It's not you I'm afraid of," he whispered. He hadn't really meant to say that out loud, but his defences were so far down they might as well have been non-existent.

"Well, what are you afraid of?" Jinpachi persisted. "That seems like a good place to start. If it's not me, then what? Why are you so dead set against the idea of a relationship with me, when I can tell you want it as much as I do?"

"I've had some... hurtful relationships, in the past," Issei admitted, carefully tailoring his words. Before Jinpachi could make the expected objection, he added, "I know I 'can't judge all men by the ones who hurt me', and all that sort of thing. It goes beyond just that. It's something I can't really explain, but... I just can't have a relationship with you, or any man. I'll only end up hurting us both, and you deserve better."

He knew he'd said too much when he looked up to see Jinpachi staring at him with determination again. "You can't hide from your feelings forever, Isako-san," the redhead said, daring the intimacy of using the given name rather than the family name. Issei flinched slightly, and looked at the ground. It had the opposite effect from the one Jinpachi had intended; hearing his female name only reminded him that none of this was real, or could possibly last.

"Yes I can," Issei insisted, fighting off a vague feeling of hysteria. "I can, and I will. I have to."

"Look at me," Jinpachi commanded him. "Please?" he added when Issei continued to stare at the ground.

Slowly Issei raised his eyes to meet Jinpachi's once more. His heart skipped a beat, and tears welled up as he stared at the beloved face, memorizing it for probably the last time. He couldn't handle this. He was going to have to either change schools, or resign himself to dropping out entirely. Drastic, perhaps, but the only thing this 'talk' was proving was that he could not handle having Jinpachi around without betraying himself.

A tear escaped him and slid over his cheek; Jinpachi reached out and caught it on one fingertip. He managed to do it without brushing Issei's skin, thus keeping the letter of his promise not to touch. It was Issei who made the contact despite himself, drawing in a sharp breath and turning his head so his cheek met Jinpachi's hand, closing his eyes as the sudden connection swept him with even more conflicting emotions.

"Why do you cry whenever you're near me?" Jinpachi murmured, his voice sliding into an oddly comforting lilt.

"Because it feels so good, it kills me to walk away," Issei admitted painfully, his voice hardly loud enough to be heard.

The sudden jolt of anger and disappointment caught him by surprise. His eyes flew open and he backed up a step reflexively, staring at Jinpachi. The redhead's gaze was accusing now, drilling into Issei in such a way the empath would have sworn there was a physical wound. "What..."

"Nobody but the seven of us would know that language," Jinpachi said, his voice low and dangerous.

"What?" Issei hastily reviewed what they'd just said, and froze as he realized the truth. The 'comforting lilt' had been because Jinpachi wasn't speaking Japanese, he'd been speaking the language they'd all used while living in the moon base. It had been Enju's native tongue for longer than Japanese had been Issei's; he'd responded in the same language without even realizing the switch had been made. "Oh no..."

"Issei." Jinpachi said the name with conviction. "It is you. Damn it, I knew I recognized you from somewhere!"

Issei could hardly breathe for the panic that was tearing through his system. "Jinpachi... I..." He tried to back up another step, but the redhead caught his wrist before he could pull away, holding him in place.

"What is this, some kind of twisted revenge?" Jinpachi demanded, his eyes snapping with rage. And, some sickly fascinated corner of Issei's mind noted, with lust. Even though he'd figured out the truth, some part of Jinpachi still wanted the beautiful girl he saw before him. "What did you do, use your empathy to drive me into obsessing over you so you could laugh at me later when you told me the truth? How far were you going to take this, Issei?"

"No!" Issei said, horrified at the very idea. "No, Jinpachi, you've got it all wrong..." He tried to tug his wrist free, but Jinpachi only tightened his grip until Issei cried out with pain.

"Not this time," the redhead said grimly. "You're not running away from me this time, not until I get some answers."

"Jinpachi, you're hurting me," Issei said, tugging again at his captive wrist. He gasped when Jinpachi only squeezed tighter. "Let me go!"

"No," Jinpachi replied. "Not until you undo whatever the fuck it is you did to me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for as long as one minute since that night at the club. Even after I started to suspect the truth, I still wanted you. I felt you projecting at me when we kissed, I just didn't realize what it was until later. You did this!"

"I didn't do anything!" Issei protested. "I swear! I didn't mean to connect to you, I couldn't shield enough to keep from reading you. The link we when we were younger is still there, I can't do anything about it."

"You're lying, you did something to me, I know you did!" Jinpachi almost shouted. "Why else would I still be fighting with everything in me not to kiss you instead of yelling at you?"

Issei's heart skipped a beat, but all he could do was lower his eyes. He had to end this now, before it got any more out of hand, or one or both of them would end up doing something they'd badly regret later. "Let me go," he commanded softly, firmly. "This is your last warning, Jinpachi. Please don't make me hurt you."

The redhead snorted. "Don't make me hurt you. I know what you're capable of in a fight, Issei. I know you're stronger than you look, but I also know I'm better than you."

Taking a deep breath, Issei closed his eyes and deliberately opened the link between them. At the same moment he gathered the sensation of the searing pain in his wrist and projected it with all his empathic strength. Just as it had with the boys who had tried to rape him years ago, it set up a feedback loop that sent the pain spiralling up out of control.

Jinpachi cried out in pain and released him, and Issei backed off out of range, slamming his shield down at the same time. The redhead was leaning against the wall, staring at Issei in pain and shock. The empath's stomach was roiling just as it had the only other time he'd ever used that aspect of his powers. It was all he could do not to be sick.

"Stay away from me," he gasped, still backing away. "Just... stay away from me!"

"Issei, wait!" Jinpachi called after him as he turned and ran. The redhead sounded truly miserable, but Issei didn't so much as look back. He couldn't afford to. The only thing he wanted was to find somewhere quiet and dark where he could be sick and cry to his heart's content. The last thing he heard was Jinpachi calling his name in despair, the sound of it echoing in Issei's ears.