As Lovers Go
"No, you've got wits, you've got looks, you've got passion,
but I swear that you've got me all wrong."
I'll be true, all be useful, I'll be cavalier, I'll be yours my dear,
I'll belong to you if you just let me through.
-- As Lovers Go, Dashboard Confessional
Ginny woke up with a headache the following morning. She remembered the sleepless night full of tossing and turning, waking up when she saw silver eyes. Then she remembered Christmas Day morning all over again. At least when Draco had kissed her.
For the first time in a long time, Ginny couldn't think rationally, all she could do was feel Draco's lips on hers, and the length of his body firm against hers. She vaguely remembered putting her arms around his neck, and his around her waist, then the reality of what she was doing came upon her.
She managed to push her hands against his chest, a very toned chest, to be exact, and away from him. Both were panting and Ginny's face was red. Draco simply stood there, his eyes on her. Ginny opened her mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. All she could do was shoot a confused look at him.
Then she noticed a bundle of leaves with little red beadlike balls hanging over them. Mistletoe? He had conjured mistletoe so he could kiss her? Was it just an excuse or did he really want to kiss her? Not knowing how to respond or even to ask the many questions running through her head, she ran.
Draco's eyes had followed her gaze upwards. It didn't take a second for Draco to realize what had happened. She could hear his footsteps coming behind her, and she reached her door a second before he could reach out and grab her arm.
Draco pounded on the door. "Ginevra? Let me explain. I didn't just – I wasn't trying to do anything, but you're just so…so everything." He was pleading now, but Ginny didn't heed him.
It wasn't until later in the day when Draco left her door till she started to cry. To just cry herself to sleep for reasons beyond her own comprehension.
Ginny was just so confused. What was he trying to do? Did he actually like her like she liked him? I'm not going to argue against that thought, I do like him. She also couldn't deny that his kiss was wonderful. Even with Seamus, she had never felt that hot, that passionate.
What did it all mean?
Draco, after he had left Ginny's doorway, had trudged dejectedly upstairs, only to find himself turning back and walking down again. He didn't even know what had come over him. But he had to admit that he had really wanted to kiss her. He had been, Draco realized, for weeks.
Yet when she ran from him, he could see the utter vulnerability and innocence in her gaze, and above all, the hurt. He hadn't meant to hurt her. He had simply conjured the mistletoe and kissed Ginny. But it isn't that simple, he realized.
Ginny was getting over Seamus, but was she ready for a relationship just yet? Even to Draco, who only wished to love her, whether he knew it or not, felt that time was playing with them, speeding up and slowing down, a vicious cycle of emotions.
He needed some lemon tea and his best friend.
Blaise was surprised when Draco arrived at his door around three in the afternoon demanding tea and a conversation. Blaise knew Draco well enough that it was a good reason nevertheless.
"I think I just had a lapse of insanity." were his first words after he had drunk three full steaming mugs of tea.
Blaise frowned. "This isn't about your mother, is it?"
Draco scoffed. "That would be so much easier." He lowered his voice and said so softly that Blaise could barely hear him. "I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't but I am. I think I just realized that."
Blaise remembered Draco's insistence on staying in the matchmaking and his reluctance to say anything about a certain Weasley all too well. "This is about that Ginevra girl you're falling for, aren't you?"
Draco looked up, startled. "I never told you that." Hell, I didn't know it myself till a week or so ago.
"Not in words."
"Oh."
"So what happened?"
"I kissed her."
"Is that so horrible?" Blaise didn't really know what he was trying to ask, whether the kiss was bad or the act of kissing itself.
"I don't know. She ran away from me."
"Didn't boost your ego any then." Blaise chuckled, then stopped when Draco shot a glare at him. "Sorry, mate."
"But I think she's been hurt before. Her bloody fiancée practically dumped her at the alter." Blaise didn't miss the anger in Draco's voice. He had never heard him speak about any girl like that before. "And the problem is just that I want her. So much more than any other woman I've ever met. And the way she kisses…I mean, it was amazing for the few seconds she kissed back."
"Is this a purely physical lust? Cause if it is, I'm telling this Weasley to stay away." Blaise was still slightly protective over Narcissa and her 'death wish'.
"NO!" Draco stood up, nearly knocking his chair over. "She beautiful, but – of course it isn't."
"So what are you going to do? Convince Weasley that you'll be her knight in shinning armor and draw her out of her shell she's been hiding behind all these years?"
"Don't call her Weasley. I feel like it's one of her brothers I'm trying to date." He joked, trying to lighten up. "But do you think I should? You know, just try anyhow?"
"From what you've told me, I think she's just scared at the prospect of another relationship and not you. And that she doesn't believe in love anymore. Not for her, anyway."
Draco furrowed his brow. "How do you know that? You've never even met the girl."
Blaise smiled. "It's called empathy, Draco. And it's something you haven't really understood. But enough of that. Plus, I saw her at Hogwarts. Bubbly little thing, full of life, you know? One of those people who give more than they take. Not like those shallow women you usually date. If she kissed back, she must like you on some level, " Draco wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, so Blaise gagged and added quickly, "even if you're a great kisser."
"So she's just scared then?"
"Maybe, but you probably have to convince her that you're for real. Not faking it. You're reputation isn't very good, if she listens to the gossip."
Draco groaned. "I'm not really a wildly promiscuous man, you know."
Blaise ignore the comment, having heard it so many times over the years. "Hey, Draco, what about her family?"
Draco buried his head in his hands.
Ginny was back at work. Yet she couldn't concentrate, and unlike some of her employees who were still high on the holiday sprit, it was because of a certain young man. She fiddled with her necklace, something she had taken to doing ever since Draco had placed it around her neck.
She couldn't even take off the necklace. It just fit so perfectly, neither clashing with her hair like some jewelry was want to do, nor was it too flashy. Ginny bit her lip in thought.
Outside, there was a commotion she was not yet aware of. Grace popped in her head and said to Ginny, "Gin, there's someone from the flower store down the street and she's holding a huge bundle of roses. We're all dying to find out who the lucky girl is. Want to come?"
As she stepped out of her office and into the front of the building, there were giggles and heated whispers everywhere.
"Did you hear?"
"Yes, I think there a dozen – "
"Why didn't we think of something like that, huh, Roberto?
"You know what that means, right, Rosanna?"
"Because we're not pansies."
" – colors are just spectacular – "
The flower deliverer was at the front desk, obviously asking for the person she was supposed to be sending these too. A few minutes later, more whispers broke out, if it were possible.
"Her?"
"But why?"
"I can see why."
"Doesn't even date – "
Grace, who had left Ginny's side in excitement, came rushing back. Before she knew it, Grace had grabbed Ginny arm and dragged her to the flower deliverer, who looked amused at all the fuss. Ginny randomly wondered if all her deliveries were like this.
Grace, reaching her goal, panted, "It's for you Gin."
Ginny's mouth dropped, "What?"
"It is."
"But it can't be…" she trailed off when she remembered. Draco.
Did he really want her so much that he would send a dozen roses to her? These weren't ordinary roses, either. They were beautiful white and coral roses. The flower deliverer handed her a letter with a 'Ginevra' written on it in Draco's smooth handwriting. She heard Grace beside her, babbling something about the kind of roses and how they were all so perfect and who it could be from, but it was as if she was underwater.
"Who's it from?"
"Some pansy."
"How should I know?"
"But it's like she didn't really expect them."
"Girls just go for the mushy stuff, don't they, Eric?"
"Does Ginny have a boyfriend?"
All these comments followed her as she walked back to her office in a trance. But all she was aware of was the bouquet of roses in her arms.
"Do you think it'll work?"
"What did you do, again?"
"Sent her a dozen roses." Draco smiled. "She loves roses."
"That's it?"
"I wrote her a letter."
"Draco, I know you're really not an expert with the whole relationship thing, but it's going to take a lot more than some measly flowers." Blaise laughed.
"Those flowers were not measly."
"Whatever. The point is that you're going to have to talk to her sometime."
"Why can't we just communicate through the gifts I send to her?"
"Because she's not shallow like that."
"I know, that's why I like her so much." Draco sighed. "She's feisty though. When we danced, it was beyond amazing."
Blaise groaned. It was disgusting how lovesick these past few days Draco was. He had never known that Draco could act like that. Of course he had changed significantly from the Hogwarts days, from his hiding in the muggle world, but Draco was still very aloof and cool. Until now.
"She's shy, she's fragile." Draco was saying. "She has no idea how beautiful she is. She's a mess. It's fantastic."
"Alright lover boy."
Ginny's head was still swimming as she walked back up to her flat. Memories were powerful. She couldn't keep the doubts from her mind. In a way, it was like everything was going by so fast. Dating Harry, then Seamus. Seamus cheating on her. Funny, it doesn't even hurt as much to think about it, she thought, but what if I'm just not good enough any man?
Ginny looked at the bouquet of flowers she still held. She must have had done something wrong, for Seamus to suddenly stop loving her like that. You can't just stop loving someone, can you?
What did it matter? She just didn't deserve someone like Draco. Draco needed someone beautiful and charming and elegant. She was none of those things.
Little did she know that Draco, a floor above, was thinking the exact opposite.
The next day, Soul Mates was in a commotion again. This time, there was not a bouquet of flowers, but a single white rose. The people buzzed.
"Who is it?"
"A pansy."
"She's so lucky."
"A white rose?"
The rose was beautiful, still a rosebud, practically, but was a pure innocent white. It matched the newly fallen snow outside. As Ginny took it, along with another letter, she couldn't help but to look around, as if Draco would suddenly appear and make all things clear.
Draco was pacing back and forth, back and forth. Blaise sighed exasperatedly, knowing what happened, "She didn't just come rushing into your arms, did she?"
Draco rolled his eyes. "Alright, Dr. Love, why?"
Blaise smirked. "Because I told you, she's still insecure and confused about everything."
"I gave her roses. How is that a mixed signal?"
"You didn't talk to her. How is she to know that you're sincere? I wouldn't."
"Glad to know you can put yourself in a girl's shoes." Draco raised an elegant eyebrow.
"Thank you."
Hermione visited Ginny the next day, to discuss the wedding date. It seemed, to both Hermione and Ginny, that all Hermione did was worry about her wedding, despite Ginny's scolding and comforting. However, all thought of her wedding was wiped away when she saw the colorful roses on Ginny's dinner table.
This time, Ginny had placed them in a vase that was so tastefully simple that it emphasized the beauty of the flowers. Hermione wondered who could have given them to Ginny. Usually one doesn't buy a dozen expensive looking roses for oneself, she thought.
"Where'd you get those, Gin?"
Ginny shrugged. "At work." It wasn't a lie, Ginny decided, she had gotten them at work. Just not in the context Hermione was speaking about.
"Who?"
"A friend." Was it just Hermione's imagination or did a dreamy look pass through those expressive brown eyes?
"Ginny." Ginny looked at Hermione and knew that she couldn't keep fooling her.
Ginny looked at her hands, suddenly very interested in her fingernails. "A guy friend." she supplied.
Hermione wasn't stupid enough to ask what guy friend, but she had her suspicions. "Do you like him?"
Ginny slumped. "Yes." It was as though it were shameful of her to like another guy other than Seamus. Ginny had a right to do what she wanted, and though she had been burned before, there was no reason at all that she would go wrong with anything.
"What's wrong?"
"We kissed, and I don't know anything anymore."
Hermione frowned. Ginny was more vulnerable than ever. She had to be gentle, "Gin, if you really like the guy, there's nothing wrong with that."
Ginny was frowning. "Maybe, " she mused, "Maybe it was just a one time thing. I mean, he's an attractive guy. It was just that one time. It's like it never happened." She was trying to convince herself of that one time and Hermione didn't buy it.
"Ginny, I don't know much about this guy, " Hermione tried to push away memories of Draco shouting insults at her in Hogwarts. "But from the way your looking right now and the way he's sent you a dozen roses, he knows you meant it."
"What? I didn't mean it. It was just —"
"No Gin, he knows that you meant it."
Draco was tired and grumpy. Not to mention he was slightly angry. He didn't fully expect Ginny to come running to him after the first bundle of roses, but he had tried, hadn't he? Why didn't Ginny at least acknowledge him? No one could kiss a person they didn't at least care about like that. Maybe it was time to listen to Blaise for once and do what he said.
So he found himself the next morning at the place that had started all of this, Soul Mates. At the front doors, he paused for a moment. He didn't really prepare for this. How could anyone prepare for something like this? It was insane.
Pushing open the doors, he noticed that it was very busy inside, so busy that no one stopped twice to look at him. Which is good, Draco decided. He didn't need any distractions. He made his way to Ginny's office, his walk purposeful. Luckily the secretary wasn't there, Georgina or whatever her name was.
Ginny was there, in all her red-haired glory, reading something, so intent in her work that she didn't hear the door open softly. She didn't even notice when Draco crossed the room on silent feet and sat in a chair opposite her, much in the same position when he had come in just a few months ago, fuming about an ex-stripper.
Then she looked up and met Draco's silver eyes.
"Hello Ginevra."
"Draco?" She couldn't speak.
"I need to talk to you."
Ginny was still stunned, but she nodded.
Draco didn't know how to start. I really care for you? You know, those roses I sent were an indication of how much I like you? Please, just date me?
"So how's work?" He blurted out.
Whatever Ginny was expecting, it wasn't that. "Fine."
"Great."
They sat there in silence when Draco finally spoke. "At Christmas – "
"We don't have to talk about that."
Draco wrinkled his nose like a schoolboy. "But I want to."
"We don't even have to say it happened. It was just a one time thing, right?" Ginny was fully expecting his to agree.
At that last statement, Draco snapped. "WHAT? Of course it wasn't just a one time thing! How could you say that?"
Ginny leaning back in her chair, not expecting the verbal assault. "I just thought that – "
"Yes, you thought that I just did it on a whim, right?" Ginny didn't answer. "But it wasn't. I'm falling for you and I don't even know the bloody hell WHY!" Oh gods, did I just say that?
"You are?" Ginny asked in a small voice.
Draco stopped yelling. "Yes." He looked straight at her.
"B-but you can't be. You're Draco Malfoy and I'm just Ginny Weasley."
"No, Ginevra."
Ginny closed her eyes. "I can't. I – "
"I knew you meant it."
At these familiar words, Ginny opened her eyes. "What did you say?" she whispered. Hermione's words came to mind.
"Ginny, I don't know much about this guy, but from the way your looking right now and the way he's sent you a dozen roses, he knows you meant it."
"I know you meant it, that day we kissed."
Ginny's eyes filled with tears. "How?"
"No one kisses like that if they don't mean it."
Ginny sat there, shocked. Did she really like Draco?
Before she could respond, he went on in a voice she had rarely heard from him before. "You've put up this wall around you, ever since Seamus, hiding yourself in there. This person who you've become these past few years is not you. Deep down, I know you still believe in love. Why would you continue to match people up if you didn't? How could you stand to see everyone out there loving each other because of you? You wouldn't, but you still believe in love for you. I've seen that passion there, trying to burst under that wall, coming out through cracks. And now you're just not letting it. I know you meant it, Ginevra."
He stood up, walked around the desk and pulled Ginny up from her chair. He cradled her cheek in his palm, tilted her chin up and kissed her softly. He kissed her, not with the hotness and passion of their last kiss, but with tenderness, like he was afraid she was going to break.
It made Ginny want to cry.
Only after Draco had stopped kissing her and held her within the circle of his arms for a minute or so, Ginny resting her head on his chest, kissed her on the forehead, and left, when Ginny let the tears fall.
All through that day Hermione felt that something was wrong. It was something her mother would refer to as 'feeling it in your bones'. And she knew it had something to do with Ginny. But all she could do was work until her shift was over at six.
After bandaging the final patient, she rushed out of her Healer's uniform and apparated straight to Ginny's flat. Knocking on the door several times, she was surprised when she found that the door was unlocked. It was common knowledge that Ginny forgot to do things when she was distressed.
True enough, she found Ginny in a blanket on the sofa, staring into a cup of lemon tea. On the coffee table was a white rose. Hermione suddenly noticed a glimmering pendant hanging from a thin silver chain around Ginny's neck. Hermione looked closer and saw that it was tears running down Ginny's cheeks. Hermione, like Harry, had never seen Ginny cry since the wedding. It was somehow disconcerting to see seemingly endless tears pouring out of those deep dark eyes.
She sat beside Ginny. "Gin, what's wrong. Please don't cry."
"He's right."
"Who?"
Ginny didn't hear her. "He said that I was hiding within myself, that I still did believe in love. But how does he know?"
Hermione felt her heart wrench at Ginny's plaintive tone. "Ginny, before you can love anyone, you have to love yourself. You can't continue hating yourself, blaming yourself for something you didn't do. It wasn't your fault. I know you can still love. I see it too."
"You do?"
"Yes." Hermione put her arms around Ginny, crying for her.
Draco woke up early the next morning. It was still dark when he woke, but he didn't light anything, preferring to plod around in the darkness, enjoying the coolness and the moonlight. He sat down in an armchair, thinking about Ginny.
It was surprising how the words had just tumbled out of his mouth and how he had just kissed her, trying to transform all his swirling emotions into it.
Some time had passed when he heard a soft knock on the door.
He opened it, only to find Ginny on the other side. She was still in her nightgown, which didn't matter because he was only clad in a pair of pants. Her hair tumbled down her back, just calling for his fingers to run through it.
"I couldn't sleep." was all she said.
"I couldn't either."
"And I was just thinking about you and what you said – "
Draco shifted nervously. Was she going to turn him down?
" – and I realized you were right. I – "
The words were barely out of her mouth when Draco swooped her up into his arms, clutching her tight, and kissed her hard, his mouth moving against hers. Outside, the first rays of sunlight appeared, lighting the sky with a brilliance only nature could have.
When they separated, Draco smirked. "I knew you'd see it my way."
As Draco kissed her again, he swore that he could feel Ginny smiling.
Author's Notes: You guys are so lucky that I ended this chapter with them kissing. I was going to stop it with Draco's talk with Ginny, but then I just had to write another two pages. This is 12 pages on word, in verdana 9 font. So that's for all you guys who wanted longer chapters. I'm sorry to all the people who want me to update faster. Once a week on Saturday or Sunday is all I can do. I'm terribly sorry.
THIS FIC IS NOT FINISHED YET we still have another tweleve or so chapters to go, ending with around thirty chapters.
Anyways, this chapter's song, As Lovers Go, is what I would consider the theme song. If you listen to the whole thing, it's corresponds very closely to the story, esp. this chapter. And if you can tell me what line I used from another one of Dashboard Confessional's songs (and what song) I will sing hymns in your praise. I love Dashboard Confessional! (insert hearts here)
The comments when Ginny got her roses were inspired by my friends. Especially Okman. He loves to say 'pansy' to everything. The line where Draco says about Ginny, "She's shy, she's fragile. She has no idea how beautiful she is. She's a mess. It's fantastic." is from the movie Must Love Dogs with Diane Lane and John Cusack. :)
The rose symbolism:
The white and coral roses means 'you're heavenly and I desire you'.The fact that there are a dozen is that it is an ultimate declaration of love. (but that doesn't mean that Draco is in LOVE with Ginny. I just went for the ultimate declation part. heehee)
The white roses means 'you are worthy'. Because it is a rosebud, it symbolizes a heart of innocent love
Escritor, the ball that Ginny got for Draco was in the thrid book, not in the movie. i guess they didn't have time to put in all those minor details ;)
sunflour, unforturnetly, i don't have plans to have that necklace magical, but now that i think about it, it IS a really good idea. mainly, its just to show how much Draco cares about Ginny, because he bought it for her
SerenityMelody, yes, they're together now, but i don't know about Ginny's family...
Kylipso, did you get what the popping was right?
imissdumbledore, thank you, it's very encouraging, but i'm sure there are A LOAD of Draco/Ginny fics out there ;)
stina, too bad we don't have any classes together :( but seamus WILL be coming back SOON
Claire,I was going to have someone apparate and see them kissing -- Blaise perhaps? -- but I decided to cut Draco and Ginny some slack. They need some alone time for once :)
imagoodgirl, the little details are what makes up the story, so don't be afraid to ask ANYTHING! Thanks for telling me that Houdini died from a punch in the stomach. I had no clue, it was just there for a little comic relief (from all the minor angst --I could never write major angst right now) Maybe when I edit this story after I finish it I'll change it!
unknown, I have no intention of deserting this fic in the middle of it. I'm just as involved as you guys are:) :) :)
lots and lots of love, falling into you