Author note: hey I wrote another piece, although this bit ended up all angsty even though I hadn't intended this story to go that way. I've raised the rating a little for possibly distressing themes and mild language (just to be on the safe side). Please let me know what you think.

I'd always hoped I'd find a way around telling Grissom about me and how I'd changed. I also knew I was kidding myself. But this was not what I'd expected.

We walked into the nightclub, which looked strange, like a nocturnal animal found out in the daytime. Plus all the blood. All CSIs see horrible scenes where horrible things have happened but as I walked into this familiar building, I saw Grissom's face pale. However I didn't see it for long as I ran for the door.

I stood propped up against the wall opposite the club I'd just left, trying desperately not to throw up. "Sara! What the hell was that?"

I looked up to meet his eyes and just stared at him. I was desperately trying to convey the message that if I opened my mouth it wouldn't be words that came out.

"Sara?" Grissom's voice was gentler now, "Are you okay, I mean you've never ran out of a crime scene before?"

"Sorry." It felt like a pathetic answer to all his musings but I didn't know how I would get out of this one. "Griss… I … I can't work this case." I almost whispered, "conflict of interest."

"Do you know someone who was in there? One of the bodies?" Grissom looked seriously worried now.

"Yeah, kind of. But I can't be on this case!" I was certain of that but I felt very unnerved by the pensive look my boss was giving me.

"Okay, ring Greg. Tell him to bring one of the Denalis and help me with this scene. Just catch up on your paperwork or something, right?"

"Yeah, thank you Grissom." I felt faint as I made my way to the car, what didn't help my crumbling composure was Grissom's gaze following me.

"Hellooo?" I felt better hearing my best friend's voice and he was obviously bored.

"Hey. Greg." I couldn't keep the emotion out of my voice.

"What's wrong? What's happened?" The immediate concern in his voice touched me, I was glad he was on my side.

"Hey, sorry I'm okay, kind of…" my mind wandered back to what I'd just seen.

"Sara, tell me what happened." Greg's voice was firm as it pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Do you remember that club I talked to you about?" my voice was shaking but I was determined to get through this.

"You may the gay bar? Yeah I remember…" I could tell he wasn't sure where this was going.

"That's the crime scene you saw me and Grissom heading to." My voice broke and ended up at a whisper, "it's like a slaughterhouse, Greg."

Greg went very quiet, I knew he was thinking what would be best to say.

"Greg, Griss needs you to help with the scene. I've been excused."

"Want me to lay down some lie for you with Grissom?"

"No." I was tired with it all, the lies upon lies, the deception, the loneliness. "I'll talk to him later."

I lay my head down on the table, I couldn't make those images leave my head, or the feelings leave my heart. I let the tears roll down my face as I remembered her's. And the way her silky hair shook and shimmered as she laughed, mostly at me. At my clumsiness in her presence.

I lifted my head abruptly at someone's voice from the door saying my name, I looked up to find Warrick standing staring at me. He half-stumbled over to me, crouched down and hugged me. "Erm, hi Warrick. How much have you drank?"

He actually giggled before answering me, "Quite a few. Are you okay? You look sad." Up until the last statement, I thought maybe Warrick wasn't quite as inebriated as he appeared. But, considering his fairly drunken state maybe I could wriggle out of his curiosity.

"If you've been out drinking, what are you doing back at work?"

"I forgot my house keys." He grinned apparently at his own forgetfulness.

For a moment I forgot my own troubles and panicked, "You're not gonna drive yourself home?"

"Nah, I'm not that daft," I felt a stab of self-loathing, "Cath's our designated driver, lucky her huh?"

"Well what you doing waiting here? Go on." He left looking confused probably feeling sure he was waiting there for a reason. He'd probably remember by tomorrow and I'd get a frantic phone call. I'd have to worry about that later though because Grissom was walking purposefully down the corridor in my direction. 'Oh crap!'

"Hi Sara…" he faltered as he looked down at the table, I followed his gaze and saw how my tears had smudged the blue ink. 'Shit!'

"Grissom, I'm sorry about the crime scene… I should've explained earlier. I was just too full of emotions to talk properly." I looked down. I didn't know how this was going to end but I couldn't think of a positive outcome.

Grissom sat down next to me, took my hand gently and sighed, I really thought he was going to shout at me, "Who was she?"

I could've sworn my jaw actually hit the floor. I don't think I actually managed to form words, just a few vague guttural sounds.

I stayed staring at the floor until I heard Greg's voice from the doorway, "I thought it might make things easier. This way you only have to tell Grissom about the crime scene stuff…" he trailed off uncertainly possibly because I still hadn't acknowledged his being there. I slowly and shakily stood up, walked towards Greg, raising my arms as I walked intending to give him a hug. Until he dived out of my way and onto the floor.

"Erm Greg? What was that in aid of?" Grissom sounded vaguely amused.

"I thought Sara was gonna slap me! Sorry Sara, what were you gonna do?"

"I was gonna hug you. She was my date the other night, she's called Carol."

"I'm so sorry Sara." Greg had picked himself up off the floor and wrapped me into a hug.

Grissom spoke up, "Sara when was the last time you were at the club?"

"Oh what! She's a suspect now! Try showing a little bit of compassion Grissom!"

"Greg, thanks for the support but Grissom is trying to protect me as well." I said this before Grissom could yell at him.

Grissom signalled for Greg to leave, but he stayed put until I smiled at him signalling that it was okay to leave me with our boss.

"I was last there about a week ago."

"Did you do anything while you were there that could've left DNA behind?"

I choked back a laugh, "Grissom what exactly are you asking me?"

He looked like he was attempting to speak but was failing miserably, so I decided to help him out. "No, I didn't have sex, nothing like that. But Grissom it's a club I drank out of their glasses, I danced so possibly sweat, and I used the bathroom so yeah there's probably some of me in there."

"Okay, well if that's the case then I don't think you should be around the lab while this evidence is being processed. You should take maybe a week off, it shouldn't take anymore time than that."

"Okay." Grissom looked shocked that I wasn't fighting this, "I just want to see her first. Is she at the morgue?"

"Yes, but Sara are you sure that that's wise?"

"I have to. Then I'll go home." I realised that my voice was blank and expressionless but I just couldn't seem to care. I wasn't bothered about leaving the lab for a while, I wasn't sure if I ever wanted to come back.