Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters that are in the Harry Potter books. J. K. Rowling does, like everyone already knows.
Author's Note: Thanks to lOvEiNhEaVeN, theoneandonly, dee, britboyzrsexy78, LeslieGlady, Desolation Lily, pale pink roses, me, watervolleyhp, pasmosa, James's Lily26, Black's Gurl, PammaPotter, Niux, fuzzycat982, moony128, Black and Potter, InLoVeWiThJaMeS pOtTeR, coco, jenn, x0x-Mystique-x0x, Juicilyn, sunlitmist, Harry and Ginny 4eva, DarkBird, Miss Myrtle360, Sara A. Malfoy, Ashley, evahyoung, xxxMs.Mexxx, PorcelainxDoll, and Emily for reviewing! You guys are truly amazing!
"Lily?"
The room went silent. The only noises to be heard were the two fast beating hearts of Lily and James. No one could move, too stunned by the event. Lily and James were both stiff as a board; never had it occurred that they would be caught.
"Oh my god," came Carina's voice from the doorway. She couldn't believe that she had just walked in on Lily with a guy on the couch, and not with Jason, but with some guy that Carina had never even met before.
Lily blinked her eyes once, hiding back the tears that filled her eyes. She felt James get off of her trembling body, retrieving his clothing. He made a quick exit through the door, and Lily watched as her accomplice in crime left her alone to be interrogated. He turned to look at her from behind Carina, giving her a look that said, "I'm sorry." What he was sorry for, Lily didn't know. Was it leaving her to be questioned alone? Or for being caught in the first place? Or both?
Ashamed, Lily sat up and pulled her shirt back on, running a hand through her hair. Carina remained standing where she was, giving Lily a look of disgrace.
"What are doing?" Carina asked. "Or better yet, who are doing?" she yelled, anger rising through her bloodstream.
Lily stayed seated on the couch, dropping her head into her hands. All she wanted right now was a hug, and someone to wipe away her tears.
"Answer me," Carina shouted, slamming the front door as she spoke.
"I'm sorry," Lily told her.
"Don't say sorry to me, you didn't cheat on me," Carina snapped.
"I know, I know," Lily moaned.
"Who is he?"
"James Potter," Lily answered.
"James Potter? As in the James Potter you went out with in seventh year?" Carina questioned.
Lily shook her head yes, not wanting to even speak to her best friend. She had never felt so ashamed in her entire life before.
"What's the matter with you? Jason is a great guy; a hell lot better that James Potter!"
"I know Jason is a great guy."
"Then why do this, Lily?" Carina asked, her voice was bit gentler this time.
"I don't know," Lily cried. Her tears were now an unstoppable force, and her body was shaking back and forth from the crying.
Carina took a seat next to Lily, slowly rubbing her back, a comforting effect that her own mother used on her.
"What's wrong with me?" Lily asked herself aloud. "I had a good relationship, but I messed up, I messed up so badly." She looked up at her best friend, her mascara was running down her cheeks, her eyes were puffy and red, and her face was flushed from the exertion that the tears brought upon her.
"How long has this been going on?" Carina asked.
"A long time…Since Jason and I first broke up. I've been lying to everyone, you, Jason, everyone. And I'm sorry," Lily told her friend, "I'm truly sorry."
"So, all those times you couldn't come out with me, were because of him?"
"Yes."
"And all those times when you didn't come home. You weren't too drunk to find your way home, and your friend from work, she was never really sick," Carina stated.
"I'm sorry."
"The tap dance lessons, are they fake too?"
Lily felt a new batch of tears flood her eyes, and she shook her head yes. "I'm sorry I lied to you."
"So am I."
Lily looked down, even more ashamed then before.
"How did it start?" Carina asked.
"That night that Jason dumped me, I was depressed, and I went to a pub. James was there, and he was depressed too, for just being dumped also. We had a few drinks, and ended up going back to his place," Lily started, and then went into detail about how their relationship blossomed. By the end she told Carina about how James made her feel inside and how hard it was for to keep lying, but to stop would be even worse.
"Wow," Carina responded after Lily finished her story. It took two hours to tell, but Carina was never bored with the words that Lily spoke.
"Wow, that's all you're going to say?"
Carina smiled, and then said, "Do you love him?"
"James?"
"Both of them, James and Jason."
"I don't know. I care so much for them both," Lily answered.
"Lily, I know you, and I know that you can't possibly care for two men equally. It's not your style. You always know what you want, and who you want. My gosh, even at Hogwarts you never had a crush on two guys at once," Carina told her.
"I don't know. I mean Jason, he's great. He's solid, has a good job, his parents and I get along, and he's sweet. He makes me laugh, and knows when to comfort me. He's there when I need someone to lean on. He's the perfect guy," Lily answered.
"And James?"
"James, well he is certainly special. He can be so goofy sometimes, and such a charmer. He makes me feel special. He makes me laugh, even when he didn't intend on it. Sometimes he can be dreadfully romantic, and other times he can be awfully unorganized and drives me crazy. But even during the craziness, which would usually drive me mad, I still like being around him. He makes me feel like me, if that makes sense at all… When I'm with him, I feel like I can say anything and everything, and it won't matter, because he'll still want to be with me," Lily confessed.
"Does Jason make you feel like that?" Carina asked, although she already knew the answer.
"I feel like me, but it's not the same me as when I'm with James. I don't know if you know what I mean."
"I know," Carina answered.
Lily looked at her friend, and was thankful to have her in her life. Anyone else may have called her a whore, which was how she felt when she was caught. But not Carina, she was there for her. She helped her sort everything out and so much more. She was a true friend, once that Lily wouldn't ever forget.
"Thanks," Lily said as she leaned over to give Carina a hug. "Thanks for everything."
"No problem. But, Lily, seriously, I think you know what you need to do."
Lily sighed, knowing Carina was right. She had to let go of one man, she needed to be a one man woman once again. "I don't know what to do," Lily answered. "I like them both, and can't decide between the two."
"Lily, sweetie, from everything you just told me, it sounds like you kind of love James," Carina told her.
"I don't know…I might, I mean he makes me feel so happy, and I can't imagine being without him."
"Tell him," Carina insisted.
"And what about Jason?"
"He deserves the truth, don't you think?" Carina answered.
"This isn't going to be easy," Lily replied.
"Well, that's what happens when you get yourself into messes like this," Carina responded.
"Let me sort out things with James first, before I tell Jason," Lily said.
"Do whatever you'd like," Carina replied, her voice was very supportive.
"Okay, I need a piece of parchment," Lily announced.
"What? You can't tell him in a letter!" Carina exclaimed.
Lily laughed and said, "I know that, I'm writing to James."
Dear James,
There is something really important that I need to talk to you about. Please meet me at Roy's Coffee and Bakery, at 4:00 today.
Yours truly,
Lily
She glanced at it, licked it shut, and sent it off with her owl. Lily looked over at Carina and saw a puzzled look, and then went to explain what she planned to do when meeting with James.
Carina yawned, and then said, "Well, I don't' know about you, but I've had a very tiring day. I need some shut eye."
"I completely agree," Lily answered.
"I feel like I could fall asleep right here," Carina commented.
"Then let's do that," Lily responded, "Let's stay out here and fall asleep talking to each other, just like old times."
"Sounds like a plan," Carina answered, conjuring up two mattresses completed with sheets, blankets, and pillows.
It wasn't until nearly half an hour later that they were settled in their beds, staring up at the dark ceiling. They both laid there in silence, the tiredness that had previously owned them seemed to drift away while getting ready for bed.
"Carina," Lily said after some time.
"Yeah."
"I wasn't happy."
"Not happy with what?" Carina asked, propping herself up with her arms.
"With Jason…I think that's why James and I stayed together, even though Jason and I got back together," Lily answered.
"How weren't you happy?"
"I don't know… I don't think I was happy with everything the way it was. I mean, it seemed that Jason and I were so perfect for each other. He's got everything that I always wanted in a guy. But, but I think that the fact that we were so perfect for each other drove me away. It wasn't exciting, you know, having to deal with things," Lily told her best friend.
"Well, you know what they say: there's no such thing as perfect," Carina responded.
"Well, I think there is, and there should be a new saying: perfect isn't always best for the heart," Lily replied.
"Wow, Lils, that's pretty profound, for you anyways," Carina joked,
"Very funny," Lily retorted.
"Night."
"Night."
Author's Note 2: Okay, hope you all liked it! For those of you who read the original story, this is where I'm doing major changes. The HUGE part of the original one will still be in it, just during later chapters, so don't get mad a me for putting it in during the next two chapters like the original had it. I promise it WILL be in the story. I just need to do some other stuff first, some stuff that wasn't in the original. Anyways, please review! Reviews make me write ten times faster! And I'm going away for a week on Saturday, so if I get reviews, I may be tempted to write something Saturday morning before I leave. Oh, and thanks for reading!