Chapter 2 – O little Prince of Broodiness
Dante watched Vergil cautiously, waiting for him to make the first unwise move. Thankfully, the older twin made no move, simply glaring at him. Trish returned shortly, looking gleeful, two women following behind her. Dante smiled as soon as he set eyes on the first. Lady. Well, her real name was Mary but hey, Lady sounded way cooler. And not just because Lady was Dante's favourite Disney character from Dante's favourite Disney movie ever, "Lady and the Tramp". Not that anyone really knew, or wanted to know about Dante's odd movie preferences. The gun-toting demon slayer really didn't seem like the type to enjoy a Disney film. One would not have been totally misled into thinking that the man would rather enjoy watching things getting blown up and generally watch as chaos exploded onto the screen.
But Dante harboured a terrible secret. He had cried when Mufasa had died in "The Lion King".
Vergil harboured an even darker secret, and he hid it much better. He had cried in "Bambi".
Dante forced his thoughts to return to the matter at hand. Lady had just entered the building. After the now natural and expected sound of alarm bells had ceased to ring in his mind, Dante concentrated hard on his "friend", a silly grin on his face which quickly faded at the sight of what it was she was wearing. She was differently from what she usually wore, which consisted of a simple white blouse that could be seen through if it got wet, like say with rainwater. Incidentally, one could also tell when Lady was feeling particularly…cold…anyway…Her outfit also usually consisted of a tiny skirt that could be looked up when she did one of her elaborate flips and a pair of bright pink boots that were livid in colour but also set off her wonderfully shapely legs. Needless to say, Dante had more than approved of the outfit. Then Vergil had decided to ruin it all by telling Lady that she looked no better than a common-place whore. Another thing that is needless to say but shall be said anyway was that Lady was much less than pleased and had decided immediately that her fashion sense just had to change as soon as was humanely possible. The high boots had stayed, but they were now black in colour. They still set off her legs, or they would have had they not been constantly covered by the new baggy pants that she now seemed to be constantly wearing. And instead of the cute white blouse that Dante had secretly been worshipping, she was now wearing huge sweaters that seemed to swallow her body whole, much to his dismay. To be quite frank, Lady's figure was slight, and when compared to the likes of Trish and Lucia, the human barely had a figure at all; her curves were extremely hard to notice. Dante's fury and hurt at being denied even the slightest glimpse of Lady's figure was therefore absolute. Lady's face however, had not lost its charm, rather it had grown as the woman's age had grown. But compared to what her body looked like, Dante, being a man couldn't help but be wistful and regard her with a sense of nostalgia shining in his eyes.
All of this simply served to make Dante hate Vergil all the more. It seemed that Vergil always set out to do whatever he could to destroy the few pleasures Dante still had in his life.
And as for the second woman that entered the room after Trish, Lucia had never really gained Dante's affections, him merely regarding her as a client. However, Lucia had never really felt the same and couldn't bring herself to see it from Dante's point of view. In short, she had always been determined to make Dante treat her with something a little more than mere polite respect.
Dante, being…well…Dante and being pretty crap with words had no way of telling her to leave him alone, and couldn't find the words to express the fact that the demon did little more other than freak him out at the best of times. So it was that it was no surprise that he grimaced before a look of complete and utter terror plastered itself upon his face as Lucia hugged him with all the strength of a rather over-enthusiastic baby elephant.
'Dante!' she trumpeted in her rich accent, bellowing into his ear. Dante felt a section (he didn't know which section) of his face twitch as he became increasingly petrified. Vergil took one idle look at Dante's face and started giggling, the sound unnaturally shrill and girly. Everyone turned to look at him, utterly horrified. Vergil cleared his throat before forcing his laugh to sound more manly and deep.
'Ho ho ho!' he chortled. There was a moment of awkward silence before the room erupted into raucous laughter. Vergil glared at them all before sniffing haughtily. No one took any notice. They were all too stupid to realise that they were being snubbed. In the case of Lady, she didn't even know the meaning of the word "snubbed". She usually killed everyone before they had a chance. So instead of recognizing Vergil's sniff as a snub, they merely assumed that Vergil's time in the Underworld had forced a terrible curse upon him that ensured he would always suffer from a permanent cold.
Dante managed to shake Lucia off him and immediately crossed to the other side of the room, moving to stand next to Vergil, making sure that the table was placed securely between him and her. Lucia merely smiled benignly, but to Dante's paranoid eyes, it simply appeared that Lucia was telling him without words of how she would find a way to eat him. Bloody cannibals, he thought to himself mulishly, glaring at Vergil who continued to stuff hi face full of gingerbread man flesh.
Trish smiled brightly, about to say something when the doorbell rang again. Irritated, she stamped out of the kitchen, through the living room and flung open the door. Dante blinked before poking his head around the living room door. His lip curled back without him even realizing as he spotted who exactly the new guests were. There were two of them, both male. Dante was grateful for this. He was beginning to feel tired of being the only man in the building. Vergil, he thought to himself further, might have the anatomy of a man but in his eyes, he was the biggest girl out of all of them. He took care of his nails, he didn't like playing video games, he didn't like getting drunk, he also didn't like eating pizza all the time, wanting to go out to restaurants to eat most of the time. And even worse was the fact that Vergil, a so-called man hated, yes hated the world of sports. Football did not interest him, rugby did not interest him, nor did basketball, tennis or hockey! Dante, a believer of the theory that "boring" people loved "boring" sports even tried to introduce Vergil to the sport known commonly as "golf" but known to Dante as "that piece of crap with the oddly shaped hockey stick". In short, Vergil was worse than a girl. He was a GIRLIE GIRL.
Dante's relief was therefore more than obvious when a raven-haired man stepped through into the building, taking everything in with interest.
'Reiko!' Dante bellowed. The man jumped and looked nervously at Dante. He winced when he heard his own name, cursing his parents for giving him the moniker which belonged to a girl's. Nevertheless, he volunteered a smile.
'I wish you a good day,' he replied. Dante blinked, clueless. Then he remembered the reason why he didn't really consider Reiko to be a man either. Because of his use of the English language was what Dante could only describe as flowery. And because Reiko always seemed to be immaculately groomed. Even when he woke up first thing at night, his hair would be set perfectly, his eyes would be bright, and all traces of night breath would have disappeared long before they could even be noticed.
Then there was also the unfortunate incident that Reiko and Dante had never spoken of to anyone, because the memory was certainly too painful and shameful to recall without Dante bursting out into horrified tears, or without Reiko promptly forcing himself into a bloodlust specifically to distract everyone and make them focus on the new task that had been placed upon them. And people said it was useless being a drama queen…Reiko had been more than able to prove the saying wrong. Another reason why Dante thought that Reiko was not all man was because of the fact that the vampire always seemed to act impossibly shy and seemed terrified of women. This in itself wouldn't have been to unusual, because let's face it, there are plenty of shy good-looking and attractive men in the world who would seem more at home glued to the computer rather than trying to hold a conversation with real people. But this is Dante we're talking about, and it is a sad fact that sometimes he can be a little bit too quick to judge people. Therefore he put down Reiko's shyness towards women to the supposed fact that he was scared of them because he was a woman himself and that he was secretly scared that real women would be able to sense this somehow by sniffing it out (Dante believed that all women's senses were incredibly sensitive and could pick up on the smallest things…like when you told a lie…)
Lady was proof enough that his theory was truth. No one would ever find the heart to tell Dante that her nose would have to be chopped off if she wasn't able to smell him from a mile away. Poor Dante had never been fragrantly pleasing. But Reiko and Vergil always seemed to be smelling faintly of something that Dante had never been able to recognise as cologne. It was this that had also helped Dante to reach the conclusion that Reiko was not totally male. Either he was a he-she or he was actually gay. Reiko's fashion sense really hadn't done the vampire any favours to dissuade the demon hunter either. He had once confided in Trish as to his beliefs regarding the vampire's sexuality. Trish had immediately found the need to take it upon herself to scoff and scorn at Dante before paying him the ultimate insult.
'You could learn a lesson or two-hundred and seventy two from Vergil and Reiko you know.' Then she had vacated the room, leaving an utterly miserable Dante to bang his head against the walls as many times as he needed.
And now they were both here, in his home! He growled at Reiko, feeling as though he was the only man in the house after this extensive thinking. Reiko simply looked at him in concern.
'Oh I say!' he exclaimed in that ridiculous manner of his. Actually, in reality, all Reiko did was frown and look sympathetic but Dante believed in the voices in his head and assumed that Reiko had said that instead. So it was no surprise that Reiko look confused, disturbed and then alarmed as Dante growled at him with all the madness of a rabid dog.
'Don't talk to me like that you…you…you overstuffed pigeon!' Dante frothed. Reiko, who looked nothing like an overstuffed pigeon, being somewhat on the skinny side and looking like a humanoid being, thought he was being rather civilized when he smashed his fist into Dante's nose. It could have been worse, he ruminated to himself as he watched Dante scream. I could have bit him in the groin. In another embarrassing incident, Vergil had poured scorn and water upon Reiko's head, making him very angry and wet. Reiko had retaliated by locking his fangs into Vergil's crotch. Vergil had screamed in pain and had proceeded to run about the room madly, dragging Reiko across the floor as he did so. Dante had walked in upon their of them, had taken in the terrible and compromising scene, had widened his eyes in horror and had promptly run away screaming and crying. This was part of the reason why Dante could never look at his brother without scorn shining in his eyes. Reiko had tried to explain to Dante in private about what had really happened, but Dante would promptly start crying and Reiko would get so irritated that he found himself in a bloodlust. He didn't see any reason to speak of it to anyone else, but he simply wanted to clear things up and tell Dante the truth about what had happened.
But right now, Reiko thought grimly as he watched Dante regain his composure, anger flaring in his eyes, I'm in trouble. Whereas Dante didn't know anything about the customs of a vampire, and even though he was a bit of a fool, he wasn't a complete idiot. No, he knew that a punch to the face never meant hello, no matter what language you spoke, no matter where you came from. But still, Reiko was a vampire and Lady was giving the guy adoring looks. Well, she wasn't scowling and looking pissy so that had to mean something. And that was the only reason why Dante did not deign to kick Reiko's ass. Because he was terrified of Lady.
Being no longer able to abuse, or try to abuse the dark and angsty vampire, Dante turned to the other visitor and groaned. It was the very one who plagued his nightmares, the very one who made him want to die, the very one who made him wish he had a washing machine. Yes, it was none other then…
'Papa!' bellowed Lucia, bursting from the tornado like a formidable hurricane. Arius got up and looked about sniffily before bounding onto Dante's coveted heavy oak desk.
'I, shall be keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeng of this…erm….er….'
'Desk?' Reiko supplied, trying to be helpful.
'Agency?' Vergil suggested. There was a sudden bang and Arius fell to the ground, dead, blood desecrating his white clothes. Dante relaxed. Now he didn't have the need to purchase a washing machine. All was right with the world again!
'Oops…' whispered a small diminutive voice. A kid stood in the doorway, looking confused, a gun in his hand. He looked at Arius' body and then dropped the gun, horrified. 'I killed him!' he gasped. Dante immediately began to coo, forcing looks of utter shock from Vergil and Reiko. Lady also looked surprised as she let out a huge burp. Then she looked comfortable again, swaddled in her heavy thick clothing as she sat by the fire.
'I know!' cried Dante happily. 'Aren't you just a cute little boy? Aren't you just the best boy ever? You killed the mean old guy who wore white and had a face like a ponce! He was about to make me go and buy a washing machine and a tumble-drier. And if he stayed much longer than that, I would have bought a dishwasher too!' The youth did not look impressed to say the least.
'Let go!' he cried. 'I'm eighteen dammit!' Vergil said nothing but watched the new stranger warily. He had a distinct feeling that this was the infamous Arson that he had unwillingly heard so much about from Trish, who seemed to adore the boy. The she-demon had painted a glowing picture of how sweet and cute and cuddly and adorable the half-angel half-demon was. Yet Dante had told a completely different story. One that told of how Arson was really a menace, of how he was prone to mood swings, of his capability to cause madness wherever he went. Vergil was more inclined to believe Dante, he had seen the fear that had shone only too clearly in Dante's eyes. And Vergil knew from experience that his brother was a hard man to scare. But looking at the kid now, he was forced to agree that the kid did not look threatening in the least. He just looked like an ordinary kid, well, a very innocent ordinary kid. Vergil should have known better. Finding innocent eighteen year olds is something extremely hard to do. If Vergil had known better, then he might not have flicked Arson's nose in a painful manner.
Arson's eyes flared red and he promptly turned into a living inferno, sending a whirlwind of flame tearing through the living room, destroying everything in its path. Vergil and the others had no choice but to duck for cover, or in Reiko's case to run out of the building as fast as he possibly could. Trish went into action immediately.
'Arson! Here! Have a cookie!' And without further delay, she threw it at him. The devil bent down over it, sniffed it and then threw it into his mouth, munching noisily before letting out a purr, a noisy belch and a growling coo. The flames then began to die down, revealing an overly happy teenager.
Lady glared at the teen but said nothing. Lucia was still too busy sniffling over the now very charred remains of her "father". Trish was gushing about how adorable Arson was and Vergil could do little else but stare, not noticing as Reiko peeped nervously around the kitchen door. A slow smile passed over the blue coated villain's face. Arson could prove to be a very useful ally! All he had to do was try and convince him to the join the bad guy's…but then he remembered that he wasn't sure where exactly he stood in that department. To be an evil twin or to be a misunderstood twin…that was the true question! Then Vergil saw the innocent look in Arson's eyes and realised that if he took the stance of the evil twin then he would have to decide against it. Only because he wished to kill him instead.
Dante however, was not looking scared, shocked, confused or happy. He didn't even look the least bit angry. No, a strange look had passed over his face, one that Reiko recognised very easily, yet one that the vampire found difficulty in believing that the demon-hunter was capable of performing. Could it be? Could it really be? Could it really be that Dante was…dare he say it...? depressed? The hunter sighed heavily at that point, confirming Reiko's thoughts. Yes, Reiko decided. Dante was going to make a brave attempt at trying to become a contender for the angsty throne of broodiness.
He walked up to him, but his movement drew the attention of Trish, who caught Lady's notice, who Vergil had been staring at, who's arse Lucia had been slavering over, further desecrating her "father"'s corpse. Only Arson failed to notice that anything was amiss; he was too busy bouncing off the walls after ingesting the sugar laden cookie.
'Awwwww,' Trish cooed again, sounding like an over-enthusiastic dove. 'Does someone want some presents?' This served only to make Dante look more sullen.
'Did you run out of beer, Alkie?' Vergil sneered nastily, earning himself a glare in reply.
'Did Vergil take the stick from his ass and shove it up yours instead?' This suggestion was from Lady, who was promptly snarled at by two angry twins for her pains.
'Do you want to kill Maman?' Lucia queried. She smiled when Dante grinned briefly at the delightful thought but then pouted when Dante sighed and looked depressed again. Then Lucia began to cry, finally realizing exactly how much Dante hated her mother. The friends looked towards Reiko, who in turn was beginning to brood himself.
'You know,' he began in a low voice. 'Christmas time always does this to me as well. Everyone puts on this happy face for a single day, and then when the dawn breaks the day after, all the niceties are gone, all the sourness and anger is back. Their politeness and happiness was nothing more than pretence. It depresses me, to think that Christmas and only Christmas brings out the best in people, and all the other days we see only their anger and hate. It just shows me what a false world we live in.' Dante looked up at him and shook his head.
'That's not what's getting me,' he said irritably. A mild smile was what he earned in reply as the vampire looked towards him.
'Then what is it?'
'That was my Father's desk. Now it's all burnt and charred.' The vampire nodded, as though understanding before his eyes grew dark.
'I always get sad around this time of year. After all I lost my parents in the cold season and…well…it holds a lot of painful memories for me. I always think about what life might have been like had they still been alive. Maybe things wouldn't have turned out the way they have done. I might not have turned into a vampire, maybe I would not have been as messed up as I am now. Maybe right at this moment, we'd all be sitting around a fire, swapping presents, tantalizing each other with the wrapped up parcels as we set them under the Christmas tree…' He paused here. 'Christmas always makes me think of the family I have lost. It always fills me with a sense of yearning, with a need to be with…with…' He broke off here and shook his head regretfully, gaining a hug from Trish, who wanted to look as though she understood and was sympathetic. Vergil just looked unimpressed. Lady bit her lip, looking as though she wanted to cry; she understood exactly what the vampire meant, after all. As for Dante, he was staring at the floor, sadness shining in his eyes. To Lucia's vision, he looked exactly like the man who had saved her island; sad, quiet and sensible.
'Suck it up, vamp,' Vergil spat, feeling a sudden burst of rage. 'They're gone. They have been since you were five. It's time to move on.'
'Have you moved on?' Lady said sharply. Vergil snorted.
'Yeah. I have. I had to. You can't always live in the past.' His eyes were fixed on Dante as he said this, scorn on his face.
'Doesn't it ever hurt though, Vergil? Don't you ever think of them at this time of year?' Lucia asked. The blue coated twin looked acutely uncomfortable and looked about sheepishly. Even Arson seemed to sense something of the tense aura surrounding them and looked at them uneasily from where he crouched in a corner of the room. If Arson had turned quiet then it really did mean he had put his foot in it, Vergil thought miserably.
'Well…no…' he said truthfully, causing a collective gasp to be taken.
'What!'
'Life in the Underworld changed me. Badly. I'm aware of it, but I can't do anything about it. Nor do I really care anymore anyway. Emotions? Who needs them? Parents? Well…I've been without them since I was about seven. I don't really need them now. I'm fine.' He knew he was talking crap, really he knew. He was trying to hide what he really felt, not wanting the others to know. Yes, he had emotions still. But they were like tattered ribbons, they were barely there. He no longer knew the meaning of care, he no longer knew what it was to love something. He had the memory, but he lacked the feeling. He envied the others for their emotions, he envied the others for their sadness, their nostalgia. He envied them all for having these wondrous things. Yet they took it all for granted and it did nothing but anger him. He wanted them, he wanted them desperately, with something akin to a desperate nervous hunger.
His ruse appeared to have worked however, for Dante jumped to his feet, visibly shaking with rage. He stared at Vergil wordlessly, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes, letting his twin know exactly what he felt about life in general, how he was feeling now, how he felt about him and the attitude he had just displayed. Vergil opened his mouth, hoping to say something but Dante turned on his heel at that point and walked out of the door, slamming it shut behind him as he crunched outside through the snow, on into the darkness that was thickening even as he walked, leaving his friends staring after him in growing concern.
No one saw as Reiko shook his head and covered his eyes with one hand. And no one was able to see as Vergil closed his eyes, a look of intense pain crossing his features.