Chapter 4

Sasuke yawned, stretched, and sat up. He felt remarkably well rested. In fact, he'd never felt this good in…. He'd never felt this good. Not that he could remember, at least. He permitted himself a small smile, wondering idly why he felt this wonderful. Maybe Naruto poisoned him. He grimaced. He glanced at his clock. He looked away. He stood up. He dressed. He walked downstairs. He saw Naruto resting peacefully on his couch, snoring lightly and looking generally like an adorable little puppy. He proceeded to beat the crap out of Naruto.

"AHHH! Sasuke, you bastard! What are doing?" Naruto demanded as he attempted to defend himself from the blood thirsty beast known as Sasuke Uchiha. He really wasn't having much luck with that.

"You turned my alarm off you moron!" Sasuke growled in fierce anger as he continued to beat the crap out of Naruto. When he'd looked at the clock earlier that morning he'd noticed two things. One, it was three hours later than it should have been. They had a mission today, at least, Kakashi sensei said they had a mission, which probably meant they would end up cleaning his apartment again. Really, that actually was a remarkable training session because you never did know when the piles of laundry would rise up in a torrent of evil uncleanliness and attempt to murder you in cold blood, much less if you'd get hopelessly lost amongst the clutter and end up on the back of a milk carton wishing that you'd at least combed your hair before taking the photo.

Second, he became aware of a layer of dust growing at an alarming rate.

Sasuke swung his fist at Naruto, who finally began to slip out of his sleep induced 'utter disbelief at what was happening to him' and finally slip into the 'Oh, someone's trying to pulverize me, I ought to do something about that' thinking style. He managed to dodge the oncoming fist and to stay out of the way of anything moving beyond human speed, though that of course made staying out of the way of things that weren't moving beyond human speed, namely, the things that weren't moving at all, just a tad bit difficult. He tripped over a nearby shoe. Actually, he tripped on his nearby shoe.

"I just thought you could use the rest!" Naruto tried vainly to reason with his angry friend. If you've ever attempted to invite a raging bull to a Gothic Lolita themed tea party while wearing a fantastic red baby doll dress you will know how difficult it was for Naruto to try explaining himself. In the end, it never does work out how you'd planned. He ended up with a nicely clad foot in his face.

"And who, exactly, gave you the permission to decide when I need to sleep in?" Sasuke growled dangerously. It was a rhetoric question, unfortunately, Naruto didn't own a dictionary so he hadn't a clue what the word rhetoric meant, but even if he did own a dictionary it wouldn't have mattered because it never does any good to look up words you don't know in a dictionary while an enraged friend has their foot planted flat on your face with a rather good sum of their body weight pressing down. His gurgled reply may have been either:

"Well, you feel better don't you?"

Or:

"Intrepid mars dwellers own you."

Sasuke was unsure which one it was that Naruto said, and he did have to admit, he felt marvelous. But he didn't really like the idea of being a slave to intrepid martins so he gave Naruto a swift kick to the face, just to be safe.

Kakashi was now sitting, dejectedly, at the base of his beloveds tomb. In his hand was a bouquet of stems and crumpled tissue paper all mashed into a barely recognizable ball. He sighed deeply, pulled his stretched out mask over his face. Sighed again. Growled angrily as his mask fell off his face once again and settled itself nicely at his clavicle looking remarkably like a small black scarf with little frays around what looked like teeth marks. He had had a very bad morning. A very, very bad morning. Apparently, his 'new best friend' was a morning person. A morning kitten. A morning kitten of hyperactive evilness and kleptomania with an unbelievable dislike for roses.

"I'm sorry Kei, I tried to save the roses for you, but that temple of yours is a nasty little thing. Look what he did to my mask!" Kakashi whispered to the deceased, then glared a bit at a nearby tomb. "Haven't you ever heard of privacy?"

As Kakashi lectured the tomb of 'Yoh Asakura' (Sorry, I couldn't help myself) on the importance of not eves dropping on other people, particularly neighbors, Sakura stood uncertainly on the bridge that cell 7 had taken to meeting on. She could have sworn that Kakashi had told them to meet here. He had, hadn't he? She thought he had. No, she knew he had. So where were they? She had expected Kakashi sensei to be late. He always was. But what about Sasuke kun? He was always prompt and on time. Always. Naruto… well, you never knew if he was going to be on time or not… But Sasuke! Maybe she had heard sensei wrong, maybe there was no mission. She supposed she'd just go home then….

Miya smiled happily as he sat in the midst of his recent literary victem. He'd grown bored with sitting inside Kakashi's home so he decided to play with the books. Now, all of Kakashi's Icha Icha Paradise novels lay, torn and battered around the kitten who felt rather pleased and fulfilled. He lay down for a well deserved nap.

Authors Note:

OMG! I updated! Well, anyway, I wrote this piece to satiate you all, so maybe you wouldn't ravage me. Please don't ravage me. Please.

I was feeling a bit, happy and peppy (Which is exactly why I can't work on Die Tragodie von Johann Faust VIII) so everything I've been writing lately are either unbelievable funny, or plainly silly. I can't stop it, I've tried. Believe me, I've tried. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this, even if it was a bit…. Off… It's still part of the story. I'll try to be a little more serious.

Who am I lying to again?

Oh, yes, you. Honestly, I'm not even going to attempt to be serious, but I will attempt to finish the story. I may be a bit upbeat right not, but the story is still going according to plan. Toodles my darlings!

Disclaimer:

I don't own any of them Shocking, isn't it? I know I had a heart attack too.