Authoress's Note: Thanks to my reviewers for the first chapter: Crazyloon598, Draco Orientalis, Song of a Fallen Angel, Oddacity, and MM-Sweet-Snow. Here's the requested second chapter—hope you like it.

Claimer: The overly(if not creepily)-obsessed fangirl Kisami is mine, not that it matters. Also, this strange fanfiction is also mine, as are the concepts and content. Minus, of course, what's listed in the 'disclaimer'. –Points-

Disclaimer: Yu-Yu-Hakusho is not mine.

Yusuke had to stare for a few seconds before he could speak. When he finally did, all he managed was, "What…the hell?"

Kuwabarra came over to stand next to Hiei, who was sitting on the floor, leaned against Kurama's bed, and poked the fangirl who was sitting atop Hiei's knee like a kitten and curled into a tiny ball (And, somehow, she actually managed not to fall off, despite the fact she was roughly Hiei's size and technically such a thing shouldn't be possible. Although, had that been mentioned to her, she most likely would have just said 'Anime!'). She hissed like a feral cat at the physical contact, but at Hiei's 'shut up', immediately made a queer purring noise and ceased her complaining. "So…how did you get stuck with her again?"

Hiei just growled and fixated his gaze on his faded boots, looking quite content to keep his eyes there for a long while.

"Well, the specific way it happened," Kurama explained, "is lost to me, but when Hiei came to me this morning she was…" He cut off and coughed a single time to control his chuckling that no doubt translated into a death with to the fire demon. "…handcuffed to him. And she was riding him—"

"Shut it, fox."

"She was what!" Yusuke exclaimed, his automatically-perverted mind not even considering a piggyback as Kurama's meaning. He completely ignored the fact that Hiei had interrupted Kurama.

"Riding him piggyback-style," Kurama finished, shrugging. "Like I said, how it happened is a lost cause to even consider (Though I am quite curious, I must admit)."

Yusuke bit his bottom lip and tried to keep himself from laughing, only because, as with Kurama, he realized Hiei would kill him for it. "And she's just going to…stay there?" the detective asked in an obviously-amused tone.

"Until he trains her 'how to be awesome', apparently," Kurama agreed with a second palm-up shrug.

Yusuke laughed lightly, then covered his mouth until he stifled it, then muttered in a humored voice, "What the hell does that mean?"

"I'm not sure. But Hiei agreed to it."

"Why would he do that?" Kuwabarra cut in.

"In exchange for her never speaking to him again when it's over," Kurama responded, and though his demeanor remained calm, his voice betrayed that he saw the event as comedic as well.

Yusuke looked at Kisami, who had her eyes closed, a strange, cat-like grin plastered on her lips nonetheless. Her appearance had Cheshire Cat written all over it. Actually, it almost seemed as though she were a pet-version of the Cheshire Cat, though the thought of Hiei having a pet immediately set off another round of clumsy snickering from the detective.

Kuwabarra was the next to speak. "Why'd you call us over, Kurama? I mean, if he agreed to it—"

"It was his only choice at the moment," Kurama interrupted, acting as though it had been a life-or-death, grave situation. Frankly, by the doomed expression on Hiei's face, it looked like he thought it had been and still was. "I called you in hopes that you could help me figure out a way out of it for him. You know Hiei would never ask for help on his own. He's too stubborn." Enjoying himself, the fox turned to Hiei's 'pet'. "Isn't that right, Kisami?"

"Yes!" she piped up with a huge grin, and continued, "Hiei's the stubbornnest person alive!"

"'Stubbornnest' isn't a word," Hiei muttered idly, not even affording the girl a glance.

"You're talking about this in front of her?" Kuwabarra asked. "I mean, if she's paying attention she'd know about our plan, if we can think of one."

"She has the brain capacity of a chipmunk," Hiei growled, "and not a very smart one, either. Besides, she has the memory of a goldfish. She'll get nothing from this conversation."

"You're so cruel," Kisami purred, not even seeming to mind that his cruelty had been directed at her.

"So…she won't care?" Kuwabarra said after a moment of staring at Kisami, who hadn't moved since they had arrived besides to talk.

"Won't care, won't notice, and won't comprehend," was Hiei's flat response. Hiei moved his leg, which had been in a V-shape to match the other, and straightened it, and Kisami quickly scrambled over to his other knee and resumed her position.

"…That was just creepy," Kuwabarra muttered at Yusuke.

"It was awesome," Yusuke corrected with a stupefied look, as if the fact that Hiei didn't even notice Kisami's movements was amazing. "I mean, Hiei has his own personal stalker."

Kuwabarra just stared at Yusuke with a 'And people say I'm an idiot?' look.

"While I'm sure you're all amusing yourselves," Hiei grumbled after a moment's silence, "I'm not. So start thinking of plans to get her away from me before I kill you all."

"Ah, but if you kill us, Hiei," Kurama reminded the fire demon, the amusement never leaving his voice, "you'll have no one to watch you suffer."

Hiei glared at Kurama incredulously. "Is that your feeble attempt at motivation?"

"No, it's just the truth."

The short, black-haired youkai before him rolled his eyes and closed them, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Well, while everybody else tries to think of ways to get me off," Kisami said randomly, "you can start teaching me your Godly wisdom of awesomeness!"

"I thought he said she wasn't listening," Kuwabarra mumbled to Yusuke, who was enjoying himself vastly too much to listen to his idiot friend.

"No."

Kisami pouted at Hiei's flat response, then said, "The sooner you get it over with, the sooner you can stop having to deal with me."

Hiei opened one eye and glared steely at the small human located on his knee, who now had her eyes open as well and was looking at Hiei expectantly, her never-ceasing crooked grin ever-present. "I hate you," he growled, opening his other crimson orb and straightening out his other leg, standing and sending Kisami toppling. The girl quickly recovered and followed Hiei like a puppy as he left the room, the Koorime shoving past Kurama none-too-gently.

"Where are you going, Hiei?" Kurama called after him.

"To get this idiot off my hands," was the pissed off reply, "as all of you are obviously too busy giggling like morons to think of anything to help me."

"He's right there," Yusuke chuckled, leaning off Kurama's bed and watching the fire demon and his shorter 'psycho-stalker' head down the stairs.

"We really should try and help him," Kurama said after all the mocking chuckling had died down. "After all, I know I wouldn't want a human girl following me everywhere."

"Yeah, but he's Hiei. He's the last person I would have expected to gain a stalker." Yusuke shrugged. "I have no sympathy for him. I already have that with Keiko."

"But Keiko isn't obviously disturbed," Kurama chided Yusuke. "And you are actually fond of Keiko."

"Give it time. Hiei'll like Kisami, too."

Kurama stared at Yusuke, and the detective proceeded to smack himself on the forehead. "God, what am I saying? Of course he won't like her. I don't like her, 'cept for the laugh (And possible blackmail) I get from watching the entire thing happening." Kurama's look told Yusuke he knew the only reason he didn't like Kisami was the whole creepy-grin thing and that he didn't know her, but Yusuke chose to ignore it and continue. "Keiko's screwing with my mind on people caring about other people." He shook his head. "I guess we should try and think of something."

:Elsewhere:

"Soooo, what're you teaching me first?"

"How to shut up," Hiei mumbled automatically, not even paying attention to Kisami, and he flickered from her view, reappearing in a tree nearby. She scrambled as quickly as she could to follow him, standing before the tree (Which proved much too tall for her to climb) and wondered how the almost as equally short Hiei had gotten into it.

Kisami finally settled on sitting underneath him, against the trunk of the tree, when her height failed yet again to get her into it and next to Hiei.

As the fire demon glared at her, he had to wonder why he didn't use his handy speed to get away from her. But as he considered, his naturally-paranoid-of-Kisami (for good reasoning) mind made him realize that trying to run from her only equaled getting tackled and latched on to. So he'd best not try.

"I know you told me to shut up—"

"Then try listening."

Kisami pouted for only a few seconds before she quickly finished, "butIreallywantolearnsomethingbesideshowtoshutup."

Hiei glared down at her again, as he had looked away for the shortest of moments. "As you obviously haven't learned how to shut up well, why don't you practice it?"

Kisami snorted. "Look, just 'cause I'm psychotic doesn't mean I'm as stupid as I seem. I know you just want me to shut up and leave you alone 'til you can find a way of getting rid of me."

"You don't need a single brain cell to gather that, so you've yet to prove you aren't as stupid as you sound."

Again, Kisami cut off and got the look of a child who had just lost a fight with their parents, and then she mumbled, "Teach me something. It could take less time to train me in your awesomeness than it would to figure a plan of how to get away from me." Suddenly her devious Cheshire grin, which had been lost for a grand total of forty-four seconds, re-made its appearance, and she said, "Or—"

Hiei wasn't sure what she was going to say, but he didn't particularly care or care to find out, and he had Kisami at sword point before she could finish. "Shut up, onna. For the last time."

Kisami looked stunned, before she suddenly giggled and hugged herself onto his sword, somehow not cutting herself despite the fact the blade could slice a hair ten times over, and when he lifted the sword again, she had herself positioned on the blunt side and hanging off it like a possum, her arms hanging down and touching the ground. "Really, though," she said, as if he had been joking the past few minutes, "what's first?"

Hiei couldn't tell if she was actually that stupid, or if she was just pretending, but he finally decided she was too idiotic to even think of feigning stupidity and settled on the first.

A human passed them, staring blankly, opening his mouth to ask what the hell was going on, but Hiei's fleeting glare was enough to send the human skittering with a squeak. "What am I supposed to be teaching you, again?" Hiei asked, his voice lacking any trace of enthusiasm.

Kisami was busy staring at him and was unable to reply for a few seconds, before she cooed, in a voice that made Hiei flinch away from her visibly, "THAT! You can't even ask me after you do something like that! It was awesome!"

"…And…what did I just do that was so impressive?"

"…Be awesome." And then, after a blank glare from Hiei, "You made that guy run away just by looking at him!" She 'squee'ed yet again. At the sound, Hiei's eye twitched. "That's what I mean by teaching me to be awesome!"

"Anyone can do that," Hiei muttered, "with red eyes. It isn't a very common trait."

Kisami looked up at him, linking eyes, and then she melted again and made a queer purring noise that resembled, 'I knowww…'

Hiei shuddered. I'm never going to get used to that.

Kisami reformed within a split second, and said, "Get used to what?"

…Or that. "Nothing." Hiei finally flipped her off his sword (though she had almost slid off when she became her puddle of fangirliness) by swiftly hitting the hilt in a way that somehow sent her flying. "So you just want me to teach you how to glare at humans?"

"Among other things," Kisami said after she'd recovered from the ten-foot catapult launch Hiei was fairly sure (with satisfaction) that she'd narrowly survived.

Hiei shrugged and sprang up into the tree, sitting on the branch and leaning against the trunk.

Kisami's eyes acquired a strange, sparkly glint (accompanied by the ever-present hungry look that always scared Hiei) and she made the odd purring noise yet again.

It was beyond Hiei how a scrawny human who was obviously no threat to his health left him vastly more jittery than the aborted apocalypse a few years back when Sensui had Chapter Black in his control. But somehow, she did.

It took Hiei only seconds to become aware of the fact that Kisami was still staring at him in her usual, creepy manner. "What now?" he groaned.

"Same thing as before!" she replied, sounding impatient. "Teach me!"

"Must I?"

"You agreed to it! 'Course you do! Or I'll beat you with a wet noodle! …And not in a good way!"

Hiei stared at her open-mouthed for a few moments before he gathered himself enough to say, "There's a good way?"

"Uhh…maybe. I don't know." Kisami shrugged, then shot up the tree like a squirrel, and Hiei backed down the branch to elude her attack, wondering how exactly it was that she had been unable to climb the tree before and had just done so with ease. "So?"

Hiei gave a low, pissed off sigh and growled, "'So' what?"

"So…teach me something."

"You're persistence is annoying."

Kisami gave him her trademark crooked grin. "And I will continue to be persistent 'til you teach me."

Hiei absently ran his hand through his hair and stood, leaping off the branch and tapping onto the ground neatly and without sound. "Fine. Follow m—" He planned on 'me', but Kisami somehow found a way to scramble down the tree and attach herself to Hiei's ankle, grinning her scrunch-faced pug grin. After waiting and seeing that she did not plan on moving to get off or moving in general, Hiei sighed. "Alright, what do I have to do this time to get you off?"

Because Hiei was right in his conclusion that she had a few screws missing, Kisami didn't think of the beautiful opportunity Hiei was offering, seeing as how she could make him do quite a lot with the promise of her leaving him alone. Because of this, she only said, "Well, you said…well, were going to say 'follow me', so I chose to just do this instead. Much easier than following you."

"For you," Hiei snarled at her, picking his leg up the slightest bit off the ground and shaking it like a cat trying to shake water from its paw. Unfortunately, she had a better grip than water droplets and it was to no avail. Not that Hiei had thought it would work…he was not that blissfully ignorant. "You're not going to move, are you?" he finally said flatly, looking down his nose at her as if he were a librarian ((A/N: A very sexy librarian. –Gigglesnort- …Sorry. Inside joke.)).

"Nope!"

…Again, the pug-squint of doom. Hiei was never going to be able to pass a pug without trying to kill it now. "Fine, you win," the fire demon growled at the small girl, yanking on his foot again in vain, "but that just means we're staying here."

"And you're going to teach meee?" Kisami purred. Hiei couldn't tell if it was honestly a question, or an insistence.

"Yes. To get rid of you." He didn't bother censoring the second half for Kisami's sake, and she didn't seem to mind, anyway. "Now, where to start…"

Authoress's Note: Okay, so that was much shorter than the first chapter….but, anyway, this fanfiction will probably only be one or two more chapters after this. Hopefully you enjoy the on-going randomness. (Also, sorry for drawing out the 'argument' between Kisami and Hiei…it was only to be realistic. X3)