Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters that are in the Harry Potter books. J. K. Rowling does, like everyone already knows.
Author's Note: Thanks to LeslieGlady, PammaPotter, lOvEiNhEaVeN, albus's bitch, Black's Gurl, sblomie, Jessie xxx, Kristanna, lizziee, Obbsesive, KLLRS, Blackgirl5, pale pink roses, padfootandprongs4ever, kelala, Desolation Lily, and britboyzrsexy78 for reviewing the old version of Love Affair!
Thanks to i-LuV-cHaRmEd18, MayaAdin, On3-ShoT, julies07, siriusforeva, Juicilyn, hpandfriendsruletheworld, sugur-huny-bun, Fairy-GYAKUTENNO-MEGAMI, xxquidditchjunkiexx, Arista Ramabra, Miss Myrtle360, Rose Angelz, Flame Of Desire, Brighton Baby, x0x-Mystique-x0x, babi-gurl8907, bananaslugg, batski, and BlueJeanMistress for reviewing! You guys are seriously, 100 no doubt, the best people in the entire world! And I promise, Lily and James will be together soon! So no worries!
On3-ShoT: Yes, I love Remus too! As for Sirius, he's probably off with his latest girlfriend or at work. He's not really in this story, he's not a major character yet. He'll be in the sequel though, I promise! And I'm glad to hear that you like where the story is going!
Miss Myrtle360: I've been looking over my reviews (great inspiration!) and I've noticed how amazing your reviews always are. So, I just wanted to say an extra special thanks. Honestly, I look forward to your reviews; they always seem to make me smile. So, really, thanks so much!
Brighton Baby: Oh wow, I didn't even realize that! Thanks for pointing out that typo! I'm going to fix it right away!
BlueJeanMistress: Haha, more questions! That's great though! Um, I think that AU means like some other character. Like, for instance, if my story were to include Lily, James, Sirius and some girl that Sirius dated, then she would be an AU character, only if she were a main character though. At least that's what I think it is, I could be totally wrong, but it's my guess. And I have no clue what beta stands for, I actually just found out what one was a couple weeks ago! And I'm glad to hear that you still are enjoying my story!
His kisses tasted exactly how she remembered them. A distant taste of coffee, followed by a faded minty refreshness. The kisses were long and tender, very Jason-like.
He lifted her up a bit and pulled her over to the bed. He placed her lightly on top of it, never breaking their contact. She felt his hands slide up the back of her shirt, unhooking her bra immediately.
His hands roamed her entire body, yet, it felt different, and not a good different. Actually, it was a familiarity, but not a familiarity that Lily enjoyed. His hands were rough, much rougher than James's. He didn't move sensually, instead his movements were jerky and absurd.
She felt his hands leave her top and make their way down to her jeans, trying to unbutton them. Her heart was beating fast, but not in a good way. She didn't have that nervous, yet pleasurable feeling that she had with James. Instead, it was feeling if whether this was actually a good idea or not.
It wasn't, she could tell when his lips began to kiss her neck.
"Jason," Lily said.
"Yeah?" he asked, looking up into her emerald eyes.
"I've got my period," she lied. Her response was blunt, not the nervous way she regularly said it when it actually did come.
"What?" he asked, a little disappointment shown on his face.
"Yeah, I'm sorry, I wish there was something I could do about it, but nature calls," she told him.
He rolled off of her, collapsing his head on the soft pillows.
"Sorry," she said once more.
"Eh, it's not your fault," he simply said.
"Maybe, maybe by Monday it'll be gone," she said, trying to make him feel somewhat better.
"It doesn't matter," he replied, wanting nothing more than to get off of this subject and onto one more comfortably shared by both men and women.
"So, what do you want to do?" Lily asked, sitting up and looking down at him.
"I don't know, we could go out for a boat ride," he said.
"Yeah, that'd be fun," she said, a large smile on her face. The smile was not only for the pure fun of the ride, but also the fact that Jason couldn't possibly steer a boat and kiss her at the same time.
She put on a heavy jacket and followed him onto the small speed boat. It could probably fit five people at most, but it was a cute little boat. She took a seat on the opposite side of the boat than Jason and watched as he maneuvered the boat out of the dock and onto the brilliantly lit lake.
"This is fun," she told him.
"Yeah," he replied, keeping his eyes on the water in front of him.
"Did you go on lots of boat rides when you were a kid?" she asked, trying to break the somewhat awkward silence that was present in the air.
"Um, not so much. We had a canoe when I was a kid, but that's it. My mum refused to row it; she said it hurt her arms too much. So it really was just my father and I going out onto it," Jason replied.
"So, which house was yours?" she asked.
"It's not here any more, they tore it down and built a bigger house," he answered.
She could sense the sadness in his voice, knowing that a home is much more than just a house, especially when you're a child. "That's too bad."
"Yeah," he replied.
"It's certainly chilly out," she commented.
"Are you cold? Because you can wear my jacket if you want," he offered.
"That's sweet, but I'm fine," she answered.
"You sure?"
"Yeah," she replied, getting a bit irritated that he wouldn't let the subject of needing a jacket go.
---
An hour later they were back at the house and Jason was soaking wet. Unfortunately for him, the waves found him very appealing and crashed up onto him all throughout the night. Lily, on the other hand, was almost completely dry. She was splashed a couple times, but dried quickly.
"Uh, I'm going to take a shower," Jason told her.
"Alright," she said as they walked into the bedroom.
Once Jason was in the bathroom, she wandered over to the window and looked up at the sky. She could see so many stars, it was breath-taking. She had seen this many stars only once before, when she was at Hogwarts.
She remembered that evening perfectly, it being her favorite memory of James. They had been dating for nearly a month when he decided to surprise her one Saturday night. She remembered him showing her his invisibility cloak, and the two of them huddled underneath it and left the castle.
She had never left the castle when it wasn't permitted before, but with James she felt that it was okay. She felt safe with him.
He led her to an empty patch of grass right outside the front door, and then took the cloak off of them. When she asked what the surprise was, he told her to look up. And when she did, she saw stars filling the black sky. The moon was gone that night, making the stars look even more radiant that usual.
He lied down on the grass, and she followed his action. His arms were crossed behind his neck, making a small pillow for his head, she did the same once more. He asked her about the stars, and if she liked to just watch them. She truthfully told him that she had never thought about it before, but by the end of the night, her answer changed. She loved to stargaze.
She loved it when he would point out certain constellations, then told the story behind each one. She was amazed at how much he knew about them, shocked that he took the time to learn so many.
What she loved most about that night though, was the fact that there were no silences between them. For some odd reason, the stars gave them each courage to tell their life stories to each other. In fact, they had spent the entire night together, just talking. It wasn't until they saw the sun come up did they decide to wander back up to their dormitories.
Lily still smiled as she remembered her perfect evening. She probably learned more about James that night than all the other nights combined. She learned about his parents, his dreams to be an auror, the pressure his father put on him to make the Quidditch team, the stress his mother put on him to become Head Boy, the disappointment in her voice and eyes when he didn't make Prefect. He told her everything, and she returned the favor by opening up completely to him, telling him all of her dreams and hopes for the future.
She smiled once more, but drifted away from the window sill and over to the desk that sat near the bed. She took a seat and roamed through the drawers, she wasn't sure what she was looking for, but knew exactly what she wanted when she did come across it.
It was a picture of the family that owned this house, or at least that's what she guessed. They were definitely a muggle family, she could tell by the clothing and the fact that it was a still picture.
Her eyes first locked on the father. He looked like a sturdy guy, probably a good provider for his family. He smiled, but it wasn't directed toward the camera. Instead his eyes were looking toward the woman and child to his left.
Lily guessed the woman was his wife. She was very pretty, but not in an obvious way. She certainly wasn't drop dead gorgeous, and probably would never win a beauty pageant. But it was the glow on her face and the laughter in her eyes that made her beautiful. She was looking down at her daughter, as was her husband.
The child looked to be three years old, an adorable little girl. She had her mother's brown hair and her father's blue eyes. Her mouth was wide open, and Lily guessed that she was singing some song, one that would make her parents smile.
They looked like a happy family, a truly wonderful family.
She felt her heart throb as she looked at the photograph. She couldn't help but be envious of this. It was everything she ever wanted. She wanted a husband, she wanted a child, she wanted to laugh at the silly things that kids do. She wanted to love her husband and children more than anything else in the world. She wanted to have a picture where no one was actually looking at the camera, but at each other, in a loving way. She didn't want the formal, no surprises way of living. She wanted this picture to become her life.
"What're you doing?" Jason asked as he came out of the bathroom. His hair was still wet, and he was wearing his boxers and a t-shirt.
"Nothing," she answered, shoving the picture back into the drawer.
Then a thought came into her mind, and she asked, "Jason, have you ever looked at the stars?"
He glanced out the window and noted their presence, "Just did."
"No, I mean really look at them. You know, spend hours just staring up at them," she said.
"Um, no," he answered.
"Do you want to?"
"Lily, I honestly find it a waste of time. If you want to go look at stars, you are free to do so, but I'd rather not," he told her.
"They're more fun to watch when you're not alone," she told him.
"Then wait until we go back home and have Carina go out there with you," he replied, pulling a copy of the Daily Prophet out from his suitcase. He sat on the bed and opened it up, reading the headlines for that day.
She sat there and watched him, and knew that something wasn't right.
"Jason, will you please come watch the stars with me?" she asked once more.
He sighed and lowered his newspaper slightly, "Why is this so important to you?"
"I don't know, it just is," she told him.
"Can it wait twenty minutes?" he asked. He sounded bored, and Lily knew that he wasn't interested in watching the stars with her at all.
She didn't say anything and he continued to read his paper.
Her eyes lingered back toward the drawer with the picture in it and the answer suddenly struck her. This wasn't the life she wanted. She was no where close to achieving her dreams, no where close to having the life she always wanted.
"Jason," she slowly said.
"What?" he asked, sighing once more as he lowered the paper again.
"We, we need to talk."
"About what?" he asked.
Lily walked over to the bed and sat down next to him, her feet dangling off the side. She took his hand in hers, forcing him to sit in her direction.
"Jason, you're an amazing guy, you really are," she began. "But, God this is really hard, we, we're not…"
"Lily, what are you trying to say?" he asked, looking genuinely concerned.
She got up, breaking her hand away from his. She walked over to the desk and took out the picture of the family. She looked down at their smiling faces and knew that she was doing the right thing.
She walked back over to the bed and sat down, "Jason, do you see these people?"
"Um, yeah," he answered, and then asked, "Who are they?"
"I, I think they own this place," she told him.
"Okay," he said, not sure where this conversation was going.
"I want to be like them."
"Muggles?" he confusedly asked.
"No," she said as she shook her head, "Jason, do you see them smiling. They're not smiling at the camera, they're smiling at each other. They love each other."
"Wait, do you want kids?" he asked, a very frightened look on his face.
"No, Jason, you're missing what I'm trying to say," she told him.
"Well, then what is it?"
"Jason, I want what they have. I want to have a family someday, and I want to look at my husband and children the way that they look at each other," she told him, holding back the tears that desperately wanted to be released.
"We have that, don't we?"
Lily shook her head, a few tears escaping her emerald eyes. "No, Jason, we don't."
"Is this about the star thing?" he asked.
"No, Jason, it's not. It's about you and me, it's about us."
"But, but, Lily I love you," he told her.
"No, Jason, don't say that."
"But it's true," he desperately told her.
"Jason," she began.
"No, Lily, I do look at you like that, and you look at me like that," he said.
"Jason, no we don't. And I wish we could, I wish that we did love each other, because you are one of the greatest guy's I've ever met," she honestly told him, "But we're not that way. And I know that if we stay together, we won't be happy, not in five years from now."
"Lily," he said once more, a pleading tone in his voice.
"Jason, we don't love each other. You may think that we do, I mean, we both thought that we did, but that's not love. It's a pretend love, it's not real, we just both wished that it was," she told him. She did sound upset by this, she truly did.
But she knew that she was right. She knew that she would never be truly happy with Jason, and by not being happy with him, he would never be happy with her. She also knew that once you loved someone, you knew exactly what love was. The fake love that she and Jason shared wouldn't cut it anymore, and she needed real love.
"Lily, please, give me another chance," he begged.
"Jason, I'm sorry, I really am. You're a great guy, and someday you're going to make someone very happy, but it can't be me," she told him.
She leaned forward and gave him a giant hug, which he graciously returned. "I'm sorry, Jason."
"I'm sorry too," he told her as they released each other from their grip.
"I've, I've got to go now, but, but I'll see you around," she said, tears now fully running down her cheeks.
"Bye," he said as he watched her apparate out of his apartment. And when he was alone, he sat down on the bed again and cried.
---
Carina was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine when she saw Lily burst open their front door. She had a suitcase in her hand and a tearstained face.
"Lily, what happened?" Carina asked, throwing her magazine down and leaping to her feet.
Lily looked over at Carina and smiled before replying, "I don't love Jason."
"Lils, what happened?" Carina asked again. This time though, she sounded more curious that concerned.
"I realized something that deep down inside I've known all along," Lily answered. "I don't love Jason, and he's not the guy that's going to make me happy."
"Lily," Carina said.
"He doesn't make me weak in the knees whenever I see him, he doesn't make my heart skip a beat whenever I think of him. He's not the guy that's going to be there for better or for worse. He's not the guy that I want to grow old with. He's not the guy that can bring a smile to my face with just one simple kiss. But most of all, he's not the guy that I'm madly in love with," she said, more tears running down her face as she spoke.
"Come on, let's get you all cleaned up," Carina said as she led them to the bathroom. She ran the water and pulled out a washcloth for Lily, acting very motherly. Lily took it and washed her face, feeling the steamy hot water soak up her tears, and with it, her fears.
"Carina, thanks for everything," Lily said, turning to face her best friend.
"It was nothing," she replied, and then asked, "What are you going to do now?"
"I'm going to go get the man of my dreams back," Lily replied, a smile appearing on her face once more.
Carina smiled back at her and hugged her tightly. She knew that this would do Lily some good. She now knew that no matter how hard she wanted Lily to stay away from him, her heart would always lead her back to him. She now knew that James Potter was the guy that Lily needed.
Author's Note 2: Hey guys, I hope you all liked the chapter! Please let me know what you think, I love your feedback!