Master Hand:Good day mortals, if you are wondering why I am here, there is an important notice in the prologue of one of her pathetic stories 'Neo NutHouse'. The authoress was too lazy to type it over again.
Crazy Hand:Actually she was busy listening to that new Kelly Clarkson CD she got for her birthday. (singing) YOU FOUND ME, WHEN NO ONE ELSE WAS LOOKING. HOW DID YOU KNOW JUST WHERE I WOULD BE? YA…
Master Hand:You really scare me sometimes. Let us get this over with.
Ch8:Party On!
LAURA'S POV
"Gotta get ready…gotta hurry…WHERE THE HECK'S THE CAKE?" I was racing back and forth getting everything ready for the party and the Smashers weren't exactly helping. "Yoshi did you eat the cake?"
"YOSHI!" He shirked and pointed to Kirby. That probably meant 'KIRBY DID IT!' in Yoshi-ise.
"Kirby did you eat the cake?"
"POY-O!" He cried and pointed to Yoshi, which most likely means 'Yoshi did it!' in Kirby-ise. This is getting me nowhere.
"Then where's the cake? I've been lookin' for a bloody hour and haven't seen it. Where is it for Din's sake?" Did I just say that? I guess when you're dating a Hylian you start to talk like them. Yes I admit, we are dating, but we're not official…yet. I sat down and tried to think this out. What I sat in…was the cake. Someone turned it invisible and put it on my chair…with the candles lit. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WATERWATERINEEDWATERMYASSISONFIREHELPMEHELPME!"
FALCO'S POV
"Mission complete." I chuckled. "Good thing I keep some of those handy for such an occasion." I couldn't help feel bad for the kid, but she deserved it. After all, she made us clean downstairs for the party.
FLASHBACK
"…and you two get to clean the downstairs bathroom." The kid ordered. She opened the door…and we saw it.
"Dear sweet mother of Andross, why is there so much…PINK?" Yes, the room was coated in pink. It was evil, oh so evil.
"Good luck." That smirk on her face warned us of trouble. Before we could say a word, she slammed the door and locked it.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
END FLASHBACK
"Revenge is so sweet, huh Fox?"
"Yah Falco, very sweet."
"GETOVERHEREBEFOREICOMEOVERTHEREANDRIPYOUREARSOUTANDGIVETHEMTOTHECATTOUSETHEMASCATTOYS!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
HALF AN HOUR LATER
"Now before the guests arrive I better tell you…ALL MY FRIENDS ARE PHYCHOPATHS! They'll tear you limb from limb if they see you, especially Mario, Link and Kirby. You three better be on your toes when 'they' arrive. BATTLE POSITIONS!" All the Smashers ran. From what two of my friends were like, they probably thought they needed to call the army just to survive. The doorbell rang. "That's weird," I thought "the party's not for another half hour. Oh well." I ran and opened the door. Psychopath number one had arrived. She was farley tall and skinny with straight brown hair, glasses and brown eyes. She wore pink sneakers and a black leather jacket. Anything to do with fiery-ness/darkness/insane-ness was her game. "Hi Stacey! I thought you were going to St. Johns."
"Not till tomorrow. Where's everyone?"
"You're the first here so far."
"No…I mean…"
"Oh, they went into hiding. Make yourself at home while I wait for the others." At that moment, the door bell rang again. "It's open!" I called. Standing in the doorway was psychopath number two. She was short with normal length brown hair and glasses. She had a certain look to her, what was it called again…oh ya, NERD…just kidding. "Thanks for commin' Cristina. By the way where's Shannon?" You almost never saw Christina not hanging around either Alecia or Shannon, one of my friends who SAID SHE WAS GOING TO REVIEW MY SONIC STORY BUT DIDN'T! Sorry 'bout that.
"I don't know, she said she was coming."
"She better come or I kick the BEEP outta her, unless she gets me something." I was one of the easiest people to get gifts for, just a card and ten bucks will do. They just laughed.
"So…where is he?"
"Who?"
"You know who I'm talking about."
"No I don't."
"Your boyfriend."
"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND…"
"Sure he's not…and my dad's the pope." Christina chuckled "By the way why do you have Rich Girl on blast?"
"Consider it 'Smasher Repellent'."
45 MINUTES LATER
"Ok so Alecia wants a Happy Meal, Brittany wants a Happy Meal, Christina wants a Happy Meal and Stacey wants a Happy Meal…IS ANYONE BESIDES ME NOT HAVING A FREAKIN' HAPPY MEAL?"
"I'm having Crispy Chicken Burger and Fries." Ashely piped up. The party was in full swing. Almost everyone I'd invited had come. We already played Twister (Ashely/Alecia won) and Spiked Apple (Ashely won). Did I forget to mention who Brittany was? Sorry about that. She was about my height, brown hair almost to her shoulders (and NO GLASSES! Bet you never saw that coming) and brownish eyes. She was a cat fanatic, MSN random poster (she posts stuff like "RAINBOWS ARE EVIL!" and "THE SQURELS ARE WATCHING." a lot) and Kirby fangirl. "How are you gonna get to McDonalds without a car?"
"What part of teleport do you not understand? I'll get Two to pick it up."
"Why him?" Brittany questioned.
"Let's just say he's not a big fan of the staff."
LATER THAT NIGHT
"Who wants cake?" Everybody raised their hands in unison. "Bring out the cake."
"No."
"Why not?"
"I'm not you servant. It was bad enough making me fetch your food from that cursed place. I refuse."
"Fine I'll get it." I walked up and brought out the cake. It had white icing with the words "Happy Birthday Laura" written in red and cookie crumbs on top. I placed it on the table and everyone one chanted "CRUMBS, CRUMBS, CRUMBS…"
"I get the idea." I slowly sliced through the cake like a cold knife through steel. I wasn't worried; there were no crumbs in an ice cream cake, or so I thought. When I finally pulled it out of the mess, I knew I was dead. A single, puny, almost invisible, crumb. "BEEP" I cursed in my head. Just my luck.
"Now you have to say who your boyfriend is OR what color your underwear is." I had no choice. Even if I didn't tell them who my boyfriend was they'd make me spill the beans later.
"Fine, if you say a word on MSN I personally make your life a living BEEP. My boyfriend is…"
Well it's not that important, so I'll just skip ahead to the best part of the party…
"TRUTH OR DARE?" Most of the Smashers were tired; after all it was two hours to midnight. But everyone else was hyper as ever. We all sat in a circle and began. "Peach, truth or dare?" It went on for at least an hour. Here are just a few things that happened in the room during the game; Samus had to sing "Man, I Feel like a Women", Peach was wearing a cowboy hat and a Calgary Flames jersey, Ness blew up the computer, Pichu somehow got stuck in the spot where a light bulb was supposed to be, Marth admitted to being a tranny, Fox lost five bucks, Falcon did a very bad rap and everyone else was going straight to the physiatrist first thing in the morning. It was last call before the girls went home and the rest got some shut eye.
"Kid, truth or dare?" Fox asked; looking more bent up then the paper clip on Microsoft Word. His last dare was to contort himself until his bones snapped; in Falcon's words.
"STOP CALLING ME KID! Dare."
"I dare you to…sing a duet with any guy in this room." I could hear YL whispering "Please not me, please not me…" I pointed straight at him.
"You."
"Darn. Do I have to?"
"Yes. Start the music. Peach, you know the song." She started up the music on the surround sound speakers. We started (the words I sing are gonna be in italics, the words YL sings are gonna be bold).
This is the point when I need everybody get to the dance floor
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
Tha tha tha tha, I like that y'all (that y'all)
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like tha tha tha tha, I like that y'all (that y'all)
I came to have a party
Open off the Bacardi
Feeling so hot tamale
Boy, I know you watchin' me
So what's it gonna be
Purple taking me higher
I'm lifted and I like it
Boy, you got me inspired
Baby, come and get it
If you're really feeling me
Cause it's my night
No stress, no fights
I'm leaving it all behind
No tears, no time to cry
Just making the most of life
Everybody is livin' it up
All the fellas keep lookin' at us cause
Me and my girls on the floor like, what
While the DJ keeps on spinning the cut
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like tha tha tha tha, I like that y'all (that y'all)
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like tha tha tha tha, I like that y'all (that y'all)
You like this and you know it
Caution, it's so explosive
Them chickens is ash and I'm lotion
Baby, come and get it
Let me give you what you need
It's a special occasion
Mimi's emancipation
A cause for celebration
I ain't gonna let nobody's drama bother me
Cause it's my night
No stress, no fights
I'm leaving it all behind
No tears (no tears), no time to cry
Just making the most of life
Everybody is livin' it up (ooh)
All the fellas keep lookin' at us cause (lookin' at us)
Me and my girls on the floor like, what (ooh)
While the DJ keeps on spinning the cut
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like tha tha tha tha, I like that y'all (that y'all)
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like tha tha tha tha, I like that y'all (that y'all)
Cause it's my night (it's my, it's my night)
No stress, no fights
I'm leaving it all behind
No tears (no tears), no time to cry
Baby, I'm making the most of life
Everybody is livin' it up (I said everybody)
All the fellas keep lookin' at us cause (lookin' at us)
Me and my girls on the floor like, what
While the DJ keeps on spinning the cut
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like tha tha tha tha, I like that y'all (that y'all)
It's like that y'all (that y'all), that y'all (that y'all)
It's like tha tha tha tha, I like that y'all (that y'all)
This is my night
Let's go now (what), let's go now (what)
Here we go now (what), here we go now (what)
Let's go now (what), let's go now (what)
Here we go now (what), here we go now (what)
Let's go now (what), let's go now (what)
Here we go now (what), here we go now (what)
Let's go now (what), let's go now (what)
Here we go now (what), here we go now (what)
We posed back to back for the end. Everyone was cheering and snapping photos. That was the best fun I had in…well…ever! After everyone left I went to my room to look at what I'd gotten. I'd got a hippo from Alecia, a cat from Brittany, a mood necklace and keychain from Stacey, 10 bucks from Christina, 15 bucks from Ashely and Breakaway from YL. My parents sent a letter saying that they'd send a gift and some Japanese money over. Maybe I'd get a DS, or even that new pokemon movie I'd heard about online. Can't wait till then.
APRIL 19, 2005
"I'M NOT UNLUCKY ANY MORE!" I cheered. I had stayed awake so I could be up when I officially turned 14. Did I mention I was born at 6:07 in the morning?
"WE GET THE MESSAGE! SHUT UP!" Just then the phone rang.
"I got it!" I cried. Who would call at six AM? YL beat me to the phone. "Don't answer the…phone." Too late.
"Hello?"
"Who is this?" The voice on the other end demanded to know "Where is Laura?"
"She's right here."
"I still want to know…"
"Hello."
"Laura who was that?" Oh no! Mom. So much for being unlucky.
"That was…my friend…"
"Just a friend?" YL questioned playfully.
"Now's not the time."
"What's one of your friends doing over on a school day? I still want to know who that was."
"Mom it's six in the morning," I moaned "can I go back to bed?"
"SIX AM!" I had to hold the phone away from my ear "WHAT IS SOMEONE DOING OVER TO THE HOUSE AT SIX AM!"
"It's a long story. Can I please go back to bed?"
"Well I just called to wish you happy birthday, and to tell you that your gift's in the mail. It should arrive by tomorrow." She sounded rather calm.
"Thanks Mom. Bye." I hung up.
"Does she even know who I am?"
"Not a clue in the world."
"Bo-ya!" We high-fived. I was surprised that the 'news' hadn't gotten to Japan yet. I mean, it's where video games are made, so I figured they would have known by now. Maybe they knew about the Smashers; but they just didn't know they were staying with me, or that I was dating one of them. Good thing to, or I'd be dead meat. Cameron was probably begging to come home just to see them. Well, if he comes home, the Smashers will get a real taste of what life in a mental house was like.
Master Hand: That was pathetic. Do you hear me? Pa-the-tic!
Crazy Hand:You sound like the authoresses old music teacher.
Master Hand:QUIET FOOL! Send in your reviews for this waste of file space. I will be back.