KawaiiGameFreak:Hey! Anyone catch the Spongebob reference from the last chapter, or the Family Guy one from chapter 10? Oh well…thanks for reviewing…
Harpy Link234: You should change your pen name to Mr. Inspiration, cuz you are just full of it! I might include that a bit later. (P.S: If the Smashers don't kill Zelda…I will)
Zephyr Analea Mewtwo's Amore: I know what you mean. My morning routine is get up, read humor, wake everyone up with hysterical laughter, have Reese Puffs.
Max Fuchs: Hope I didn't give you or any of my readers a heart attack when I said that. Don't worry though; I'll still throw in some random humor when I get the chance.
Xiao-Darkcloud: (walks by with a shopping cart carrying 2000 packets of batteries) You make a very good point.
Eternal Smasher: Apparently they never thought I'd have 20 odd guests.
ShebytheDogDemoness: YOU FINALLY REVIEWED! You haven't reviewed in what felt like forever! (P.S: Is manga like Japanese comics?)
Gothic Meowzi: I promised romance and I'll do what I can. About MT's butt getting kicked…in the immortal words of that cute kid "That was totally wicked!"(and it will be explained…EVENTUALLY!). (P.S:My not-so-almighty co-writer Ashley went to California for Summer vacation in June)
Chibibubble: Yes I know it's near the end, but don't worry, my work will go ONNNNNNNNNNNN… (gets hit in the head with a baseball bat)…NESS I'M GONNA KILL YOU!(runs off with an AK47)
KawaiiGameFreak:WARNING! Near the end of this chapter is going to be…ROMANCE (dun dun DUNNNN)! If you don't like romance then I suggest you skip that part. Just a warning…ja ne! (Good-bye in Japanese)
Ch12:Smasher's Weirdest Home Videos
LAURA'S POV
I'd just gotten back from summer basketball and it was a disaster! The lights went out due to the storm going on outside in the middle of a game. Everyone was gaining Air Miles (air balls) and passing to thin air. The last quarter should have gotten on Canada's Funniest Home Videos! For some reason, Ness also joined up in summer basketball (probably just to use his powers to piss off the staff). "I still can't believe I won."
"The only reason you won was that there's no foul for levitating the ball over everyone's heads, racing to the other end of the court, passing the ball to yourself and using telekinesis to bank it in." As I opened the door, everyone was snickering. "What's so funny?"
"You know the camera Zelda got?" Mario asked.
"I didn't even know she had a camera, what about it?"
"Well…let's just say that…IT WAS A RIOT!"
"What was?"
"You'll see." He walked off downstairs, leaving me puzzled. I went downstairs, Ness following behind, to see almost everyone in front of the big screen TV acting like they were waiting for a movie to start.
"Hey Laura! You're just in time!" Popo sputtered between bites of ridiculously over buttered popcorn.
"…this is one of those times when everyone knows something but me, right?" Replies of "Looks that way" and "I guess so" filled the room. "Fine, let's see what the big hoopla is about." I sat down and waited. Zelda rushed out of the game room holding a tape in her hand.
"Thank you all for coming! Now before we begin…how in the name of the Triforce do you work this thing?" She gestured to the DVD/CD player and the VHS player on the black shelf next to the TV. It took another hour to get it set up (do you know how many wires are behind by TV?). "Sorry for the wait, now let's get started…um…which remote is the one for VHS?" Zelda muttered pointing to the 7 different remotes in the table. I picked up the right remote and pressed play. The screen was blank for a few seconds and then it showed Falcon and Falco going…INTO MY ROOM? The date on the bottom of the screen was 4/2/05(day/month/year).
"Hey…maybe there's something valuable in there." Falcon pondered.
"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!" It appeared they were unaware of Zelda behind them. They walked into my room and started looking around. "Hey I found something!" Falco cried, holding up my CD player. He pressed the 'play' button and Blink182's song "Rock Show" blared through the head phones. Both of them jumped about three feet in the air and landed with a thud. They ran out of the room, not even noticing Zelda, and bumped into Samus.
"What is wrong with you?"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"…" The screen went blank.
"WHAT THE BEEP WHERE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?"
"We…didn't know it was your room…?"
"…be glad I'm in a good mood today or your heads would be in Cuba by now." The next clip was me sitting at the kitchen table with Falco, Ness and Popo. The date was 11/6/05.
"I knew a blond that was so dumb; she sat on the TV and watched the couch." Everyone cracked up laughing. "I knew another blond that was so dumb; she got locked in Radio Shack and couldn't call for help." The guys nearly cried laughing. "I knew another blond that was so dumb; she put 911 on speed dial." Suddenly, everyone was making the 'cut it out' and 'zip it' signs with their hands. "What? Oh! I got another good one! There were three girls: a blond, a brunette and a red head. Anyway…"Peach walked up behind me with a very pissed of look on her face. "…Peach is right behind me, isn't she?" Everyone nodded. I turned around. "Eh hehe…BEEP." The screen changed again, it was the same day only 10 minutes later. Peach was chasing me around the backyard with a frying pan. "I'M SORRY OK? I DIDN'T SAY ALL BLONDS WERE DUMB! HELP ME!" The camera went blank.
"Note to self: no more blond jokes."
"Sh! It's starting again!" This time, Zelda was speaking into the camera in front of the downstairs bathroom. The date was 1/4/05.
"Get a load of this prank, Mario checked the pluming in this place and found out that if anyone flushes the toilet while someone's in the shower, the water turns FREZZING!" She walked into the room and flushed. "I pity whoever's in there." A split second after Zelda flushed, an ear piercing scream could be heard from the upstairs bathroom. Zelda burst out laughing.
"ZELDA! I'M BEEPING GONNA BEEPING KILL YOU, YOU BEEPING BEEP BEEP! WHEN I GET THE BEEP OUTTA THE BEEPING SHOWER I'M GONNA BEEPING RING YOUR BEEPING NECK! YOU BEEPING HEAR ME? I'M GONNA…" The screen went blank before anymore swears could be heard. Everyone stared at me.
"…what?"
"I never knew that one person could swear so much." Nana whispered to Popo.
"WHAT'S IT TO 'YA?" They quivered in fear. The next segment started. It showed Falcon fiddling through the medicine cabinet in the upstairs bathroom. The date was 20/6/05.
"Hey! Check this out!" Falcon said to no one in particular as he pulled out a bottle of mouthwash. "Contains minor traces of alcohol…COOL, BEER!" He ripped the cap off and started chugging the bottle of mouthwash. About two minutes later Falcon was drinking what appeared to be gallons of water from the cooler.
"What's wrong?" Ness asked.
"Just got a really bad taste in my mouth."
"Well maybe some mouthwash would…" At the word "mouthwash", Falcon ran to the bathroom as fast as he could. The screen went blank.
"You drank mouthwash? What an idiot!" I chuckled. The next one showed Kirby, Ness, Nana and Popo playing hide-n-seek in the back yard. The date was 7/3/05.
"Ok, Kirby's it!" Popo announced, "Now Kirby, all you have to do is count to 10 with your eyes closed and then try to find us…ok?"
"Poy…"
"…I'll take that as a yes…EVERYBODY HIDE!" Just after everybody had run off, Peach stood out on the deck.
"DINNER!" Apparently only Kirby had heard the dinner call.
"POY-YO POY!" He ran inside, leaving Ness and the Ice Climbers waiting. The screen changed again, it was the same day, only an hour and a half later. Zelda's camera zoomed over to Nana and Popo's hiding spot.
"What's taking Kirby so long?"
"You know what this means?"
"That we probably missed dinner?"
"No…well maybe, but…if Kirby never found us yet, that means we had the best hiding spot!" There 'oh-so-clever' hiding spot was behind the shed. "I wonder where Ness hid."
"Hey guys!" Fox called from the deck, "You missed Pizza and Movie night, what where ya doing?"
"WE WHAT?" All three of them jumped out of there hiding spots (Ness hid in the big tree out back) and ran to the deck. Just then Kirby waddled out with pizza sauce smeared all over his face. "Kirby! You were supposed to look for us, not stuff your face!" Kirby just looked blankly at Nana.
"Poy…?" The screen went blank.
"I thought you said that it would be…weirder."
"Don't worry…it will…soon…" The next scene was in front of my bedroom door, dated 20/4/05.
"…AND I'LL BE, YOUR FLYING SOLDIER (private joke)! I'LL BE, A LOVE DO OR DIE! I'LL BE, BEATEN WHEN I'M OLD AND, I'LL BE THE GREATEST PAN OF YOUR WIFE…"
"Will you shut up Falco! You're gonna break the windows again!"
"How come nobody appreciates my beautiful voice?" The camera shut off. Everyone stared at Falco.
"…"
"I told you it was gonna get weird." The screen came back on. I was standing in front of the kitchen TV with my back turned to Mewtwo, who was yelling at me. The date was 30/1/05.
"…AND YOU NEVER TURN THAT BLASTED HEADSET DOWN, YOU SNORE, YOU SING ANIME THEME SONGS IN YOUR SLEEP AND EVERY MORNING YOU MUTTER SOMETHING ABOUT 5 MORE MINUTES AND IF I ACTUALLY GET SOME SLEEP YOU WAKE ME UP AT UNGODLY HOURS WITH THAT BLOODY TRUMPET OF YOUR'S OR THE NOISE MAKERS YOU GOT FROM HOCKEY GAMES! I CAN'T GET A WINK OF SLEEP AND IT'S DRIVING ME UP THE WALL AND…are you even listening to me?" I turned around, and my headphones fell off my ears and around my neck, all while Sonic's theme from Sonic Adventure DX blared from them.
"You say something?" (insert anime face fault for Mewtwo here) All of a sudden, Mario came racing up the stairs, looking like he had rabies.
"Sonic…SONIC…SONIC…!" He went nuts and started chasing me down the hall and screaming "SONIC!".
"Take the CD…just don't hurt me!" I threw the CD at him and he broke it in half.
"Sonic…must…PAY!" Luigi came up and patted Mario on the back.
"It's ok bro, he's not here, he's back on his planet, there's nothing to worry about." They both walked calmly downstairs.
"…what was that all about?"
"…I don't know, nor do I want to." The screen went blank. A few seconds later the picture came back. It was in front of a really rundown looking stadium (aka the Windsor Stadium) with me and Ness waiting for our ride back. The date was 7/8/05.
"How long do we have to wait for Peach?" Ness moaned, "She takes forever!"
"Just be glad Falcon isn't giving us a ride."
"Ya, last time we went on a road trip, besides the one last month, he crashed the car into a stop sign. Then he backed up and hit a traffic light! By the way, why doesn't Zelda just teleport here and back?"
"She said she was busy or something." The screen changed again, it was the same day, only a half hour later.
"Hey…wanna see something really funny?" I nodded. "Get a load of this." He raced over to a near by van, hopped inside, looked out the window and started making funny faces at the staff.
"Get out of my van!" One of the guys yelled.
"NO!" He opened a window and turned the radio up on bust.
"Just lock it and set it on fire!" I yelled. The staff person jumped through the window, CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED, and threw Ness out through the back. "You ok?"
"…" He looked rather…lifeless.
"…DING DONG, NESS IS DEAD!" After a few more home videos that involved my CD collection, frying pans, light blubs, 2 by 4s and my dads' golf ball washer, most of the Smasher's left the room. Even Zelda had gotten board. I wanted to see what everyone was snickering about. After the last "clip", a warning appeared on screen.
"WARNING! The following footage contains bizarre romance, cheesy pickup lines and "super-kawaii-lovey-dovey-junk-that-makes-you-want-to-puke"-ness. Any person who does not wish to see this, please leave the room right now." (that's a warning for readers to. If you want to skip that part, look for these (START) (END) and continue)
"What on Earth?" The TV was about to show the next scene when…snow. All I saw was the date, 14/2/05. "Zelda!" I called. She came rushing out from the game room.
"Yes?"
"What was on that tape at the end, after the warning?"
"Did you happen to catch the date?"
"February 14th, why?"
"Do you remember the significance of that day?"
"Ya, Valen…" I horrible thought popped into my head, "You never…"
"Um…well…I…kinda…"
"Has anyone else seen this?"
"No…it kept going all fuzzy and it wouldn't work."
"Good, get rid of all the copies you have because I know you have more then one."
"So you want me to get back the copies I sold on eBay?"
"YOU WHAT?"
"Just kidding, I'll hide the tape where no one will ever find it." She took the tape out of the VCR and ran upstairs. After a few minutes she came back down.
"Where'd ya hide it?"
"Let's just say no one's gonna find it 'till next July."
NESS' POV
"What on Earth is a tape doing in the freezer?"
12:00 THAT NIGHT
LAURA'S POV
Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I finally have my room to myself again, the bad news is I have no one to annoy in the morning anymore. I still wonder how Zelda got that footage. She said what Falco and Fox meant when they said "aired that footage" was really when Zelda told them that she sold a copy of the tape to NTV, but she never, she just played the tape and told them it was a TV broadcast. Not to mention that the smashers never even saw the end, they thought that the embarrassing footage was me swearing at Zelda and getting slammed by Peach! It's a good thing to, if they saw that, I'd do worse to Zelda then what Ashley did to Mewtwo. Oh, and if you're still wondering what "that footage" is, allow me to explain.
FLASHBACK(START)
FEBRUARY 14, 2005
We'd just gotten back from the school dance, which was incredible by the way, and we were exhausted. After we left the gym it started raining, so we started running. By the time we got back, the rain had stopped. "Oh sure, after we get home. Why couldn't it have rained during the dance? At least we would have been inside and not so soaking wet."
"Be thankful it wasn't hail."
"We almost never get hail anyways." One ofthe only times I've seen hail was during the storm that brought the guys here in the first place. A deafening silence fell around us. "So…um…anyway, I wanted to ask you…why me?"
"Pardon?"
"I mean, you could get just about any girl you wanted, and you settled for me, why?"
"Well, not to sound corny but…you're not like any of the other girls I've met."
"And how, exactly?"
"Um…well…" YL started blushing the darkest shade of red I've ever seen. "you're not afraid to be yourself, you're really nice, um…you've got a great sense of humor and um…"
"Stop it, you're making me blush."
"Isn't that the point?" I chuckled a bit. All of a sudden, it started raining again. "Well this stinks."
"Hurry! Under here!" We ran under the big tree out back. "Man it's cold out!"
"No duh, it's the middle of February and it's raining." There wasn't much snow on the ground, in fact, there was hardly any.
"Maybe we should head inside."
"Not just yet." He smirked as he said the words. "Close your eyes."
"Why?"
"Just close your eyes and something special will happen, ok?" I nodded slowly and closed my eyes.
"I wonder what the special something is." I thought, "Maybe…" My train of thought was interrupted, by a kiss. "OMG, OMG, OMG! He's kissing me! OMFG!" I was in a state of utter shock, but I managed to stay together and kiss him back. I was half dreaming, half awake. My heart was racing at the speed of light, my stomach was doing summersaults, I couldn't find my breath, and the only thought in my head, was of him. It would take more then words to describe how I felt, but I could tell you that it was the best feeling in the word. We broke away and looked into each other's eyes.
"…I don't know how to say this…but…I think I…I love you."
"I love ya to." We pulled in for another kiss in the rain. I knew only one thing at the time; every Young Link fangirl was gonna hate me in the morning.
(END)(don't say I didn't warn you)
KawaiiGameFreak:Oo…I can't believe I typed that. Well don't worry, I think I'll stick to humor, for now…JA NE!