A/N: First off, I'd like to apologize to ALL my readers for my long hiatus from this story, maybe not long compared to some, but for me, I'm quite disappointed in myself. So I had Lei-Fang punish me, but then realized that was more of a reward, so I had Bass put on a little dance…and so after I threw up every meal I've eaten since I was seven, I decided to continue the story.
Disclaimer – I do not own any of Team Ninja's Characters or anything else related to Dead or Alive.
Christie gurgles water as she surfaces through the heated, fresh water and inhales beautiful air, although a bit perfumed. She smoothes her hair out of her face as she makes her way to the metal ladder, looking furiously for that ape of a man. He's going to wish he never learned the letters D, O, or A.
"Christie, I can't feel my back!" Bayman yells from the diving board, laying flat on his back where he landed, his parachute partially covering him like a body bag, and justly so. Christie growls angrily as she searches her drenched clothes for a weapon, but remembers they were all confiscated at the airport. She makes do with a writing pen, clicking the weapon into the ready.
"You won't need your eyes in hell, Bayman!" Christie leaps onto the diving board and Bayman lets out a feminine yelp as he fights off her deft attacks, dodging his head from side to side, not to be stabbed by the writing utensil and from the struggle, they both collapse over the side of the board, and submerge together.
Christie is easily the first back up, but only after kicking Bayman multiple times in the stomach, leaving him tangled in his shoot, with only his nose and mouth un-submerged in the tangle. Satisfied, she climbs out and begins drying her hair with a discarded towel left on a very lucky beach chair which has a number of colorful squares beside it, some sort of floatation devices.
"Okay, so I've made some mistakes in my life." Bayman begins, trying to make good use of his last moments in this world, "I won't lie, I've killed a few people. But I've never cheated on a woman, or stolen from a child. I've never jay-walked or gave a police officer the finger. Never once! Once! Did I think to backtalk to a nun, and this is what I get. To die so very, very close to my goal…"
Bayman makes a whimpering noise, and tries to dramatically wipe a tear from his eye, but forgets he's tangled and almost drowns himself. Through a number of coughs, he regains his original position, with only his mouth and nose out of the water, his open eyes unusually comfortable with the water, which has a distinct aftertaste of Dr. Pepper.
"Back in my home town of Vorkuta, that's what we call a 'shame'. You hear me, Christie, my dearest muse, you've made me shame myself!" Bayman begins to pathetically sob in his floating tangle of shame, but Christie isn't moved by his words as she slips out of her wet clothes, reluctantly into a short sleeved, black and purple wetsuit lying conveniently next to the chair.
"Live the rest of your miserable existence in shame then!" Christie answers as she moves towards the exit gate of pool, "If I see you in the next life, prepare for the same fate." She swiftly leaps over the locked gate and lands in a crouch, but immediately hears loud grumblings to the north. Through the darkness, she can barely make out the glint of silver and the silhouettes of a female and a car.
"That perverted bastard! Ever tried a threesome, baby, how about a five-some, stupid-ass Zack!" The woman continues to grumble in the darkness as the trunk to the car slams. Christie has no idea how to get out of this instillation, but perhaps hijacking this woman's car will somehow get her away from this stupidity.
"Which way were the docks again…" The woman thinks to herself as she opens the driver side door, and Christie seizes her opportunity and slashes forwards through the darkness. She begins to leap forwards as the car starts and two headlights blind her into stumbling forwards, slamming into the hood of the BMW.
"What in the name of fried chicken!" The woman leaps out of the car with a metal bar in hand and stares at the dazed Christie, blinking her eyes rapidly, but can't seem to get rid of the massive spots in front of her eyes. She can barely make out the smaller object getting closer.
"Ah, so Zack sent you to get me back? How he survived the rat poisoning, we'll ascertain later, but be sure that you shall never taste this brown sugar!" The woman yells angrily, and Christie braces for the attack, but the metal bar never connects with her. Instead, it clatters to the concrete road yards away and what she believes to be the woman, stumbles backwards.
"Yea, she left me for dead, but I can't allow you to damage such a beautiful sculpture of the great deity," Christie would rather have had the bar end her life than hear Bayman's voice again, "And by 'great deity', I mean Itigaki…wait, who?"
"Another man on the island! How could that be?" The woman asks from her daze on the ground and Bayman smoothes wet brown hair behind his ear and holds his muscular arm down to her and in a smug voice speaks,
"Do not be alarmed, my darling, for we mean you no harm. We aren't allies of Zack, in fact, I've skillfully infiltrated his island and—" Bayman's words are ripped away as he is sent bounding forwards, the sound of metal connecting to his global skull echoing throughout the island.
"That's not even the worst I'll give you!" Christie yells, swinging the metal bar wildly at the scrambling Bayman, who grasps the back of his head with tears streaming down his face, "I don't know if apes have as many lives as cats, but we're sure going to find out!"
Bayman finally scrambles behind the other woman, shivering behind her in terror, and the glint of evil behind Christie's eyes is more than enough to convince the woman to flee towards the car, leaving Bayman bare to the world, his imminent doom fixed. Through desperation, he quickly clasps his hands together and bows his head down to the ground,
"I beg you, Christie, with all my heart, don't make my children orphans!" The metal bar ceases to enclose on his position and Bayman peaks upwards to see Christie with a frown on her face, and the glint of evil disappears from her eyes. He thinks to let out a sigh, but this could very well be a sign of false hope, the greatest enemy in existence.
"To kill such a useless, pitiful being would be so far below me. Please, tuck in your gut." Christie points to the female sized wetsuit that Bayman has squeezed himself into, which is unzipped, with the cups at his shoulders like shoulder pads and his stomach spilling from the middle, "How you saved me originally is beyond me."
"I can move when I have to. You are the drive behind my life, my wondrous sky, how can I thank you!" Bayman leaps forwards with pursed lips, but Christie dodges to the side, and he barely rights himself before slamming into the woman's car. The woman still standing speechless, utterly confused at what is going on.
"I'm Christie, and this man's name is not to be spoken, but he spoke the truth, we're not going to hurt you." Christie tosses the metal bar away, and holds her hand out to the woman. The woman immediately shakes it, with a wide smile, revealing white teeth through a deceitful grin,
"I'm Niki, you wouldn't happen to be a gambler would you?" Christie raises an eyebrow at the odd question as Bayman begins to sing,
"Now I aint sayin she's a gold digger, but she aint messin with no broke nig--" Christie spins around and kicks him in the groin, sending the song spiraling into a squeak, landing him on his knees with more tears.
"Listen, Niki, I just need a way off The Island," Christie begins, "You said something about docks, where are they? I'll give you all the money you want if you take me with you." Niki rubs her chin in thought as she studies Christie, and then looks down to the still squeaking Bayman, and then back up,
"He's staying right, cuz I don't have any room left." Niki turns around and points to the car which is packed to the hilt with junk, most of it with golden words 'Property of Zack' stamped on them, including the car, which has a miniature version of a golden Zack as the hood ornament, his arms spread wide as if flying.
"Whoa, why not just get a big carrier jet from the Army and transport the entire island?" Christie asks disdainfully and Niki's eyes widen in elation,
"I could do that? Holy shizzle, I could. Wait, a second, how many men would I have to seduce to infiltrate a hanger, not more than five, I could handle that, especially if I wear my hooker pumps, and then I'll score some Army helmets and—"
Niki falls flat to the ground as the sound of metal rings out and Christie forces herself to nod towards Bayman for actually doing something good for once.
"I couldn't take that voice anymore." Bayman tosses the metal bar on the ground and then thinks to pick it back up, since Christie will more than likely try to use it against him once more.
"I've stopped caring what you do, Bayman, but I swear if you follow me, I won't hesitate." Christie begins walking towards the car, stepping over the unconscious Niki who holds the keys, but Christie prefers hot-wiring anyway. Bayman tries to zip up the wetsuit, but with no luck, and quickly holds his arm up to Christie.
"I need only one more favor from you, Christie." He says quickly, back with the smugness, and Christie peaks over her shoulder with a furious scowl, "I won't back down! This is important. I swear Donovan will be off our backs for good after this!" Bayman demands and Christie thinks to herself, wondering if Donovan is really that much of a threat. That much of a threat to risk staying with this man any longer.
"Come on, am I that bad looking? Is it the eyebrows?" Bayman's smug look of determination transforms into a pathetic frown, "My poor ailing sister, the hairstylist, she has no money for her ten kids and three sick puppies. She had to practice on me so she wouldn't mess up a real customer's eyebrows. And she burned the follicles, so now their stuck in this terrible scowl. I'm cursed with a beautiful smile, but now, no one will ever see it."
Bayman breaks down into sobs and Christie holds in the growl that she wants so much to emit forth, but simply steps back over Niki and looks out over the landscape of the island, bright lights of buildings beckoning them forth and she looks down towards Bayman,
"Get on with it."