Chapter 3

Janet stared down at the test results in disbelief. She'd been so sure...

"So," Daniel said, standing stiff and solemn on the opposite side of her desk with his arms folded tightly across his chest. "What do we do now?"

"I... guess we have a baby." Janet sank down into her chair as she spoke, suddenly feeling a little faint.

Daniel didn't make a sound in response, so after a few seconds Janet looked up to find him staring down at her with a rather cold look on his face.

"I'm not getting rid of it," she said.

"I didn't ask you to."

"And don't you dare blame me for this."

"I wasn't."

Janet narrowed her eyes at him, her irritation growing with every second he stared at her like that. "Then what?" she asked. "You look angry about something, so... why don't you just let it out?"

Daniel didn't move or answer at first, but finally he sighed and looked down at the desk. "I'm angry... that we're bringing a child into this world just to watch it die."

His blunt words hit home for Janet, but she wasn't willing to admit that to him. "We've been over this a hundred times," she said wearily, leaning forward to cover her face with her hands. "We don't know that the baby will have the disease."

There was complete silence for a few moments, until Janet heard a soft rustling sound as Daniel started to move. At first she dared to hope that he was coming to her, but she quickly looked up when she heard his footsteps moving away. She was just in time to see him open the door and leave her office, pulling the door shut behind him.

With a soft groan, she slumped over her desk and buried her face in her arms. She wasn't sure whether the butterflies in her stomach were the start of morning sickness or whether she was just scared as hell about what was in store. Probably a little bit of both, she reasoned. And Daniel's attitude certainly wasn't helping.

He'd been rather subdued but still supportive all week, but she could tell by the way he tossed and turned every night that he wasn't getting any sleep. That in itself would be enough to make him grumpy, and now this? She'd been so sure that she wasn't pregnant. So damn sure...

"Dr. Fraiser?"

Janet looked up at the sound of Lieutenant Young's voice. "I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"Are you alright, Ma'am?" the nurse asked, her head and shoulders all Janet could see peeking around the doorframe.

"Yes, I'm fine," she said, forcing a smile and rising to her feet. "What do you need?"

She was never sure how she made it through the rest of that day. By the time she got home, she didn't remember a thing about what had happened, other than her conversation with Daniel. She hadn't even bothered to wait for him to meet her before going home. She knew instinctively that he wouldn't show.

Thankfully, Cassie had left a note saying she'd be spending the evening with friends, so no cooking had to be done. That was a lifesaver for Janet - whether it was from the baby or not, her stomach had been unsettled all day, and eating was the last thing she wanted to do.

Not that sitting in the silent living room alone was top of her list, either. All she wanted was for Daniel to come home and hold her while she cried out all of her guilt, fear, and frustration over the whole damn thing, but judging from the last time he'd walked away from her in anger, he wouldn't be home for a long time yet. That thought made her want to scream.

Somehow she managed to pull herself together enough to do some housework, which actually served to take her mind off things for a little while. By the time it reached 8pm, however, she was exhausted. She collapsed into bed right away, without even caring about how early it was.

Funny how she was so tired and yet couldn't sleep, she mused as she lay staring at the ceiling. She'd glanced impatiently at the clock at least a dozen times by 9, and by 9:30 she was starting to go insane. She heard Cassie come in just before 10 and head quietly for bed. Other than that, the house remained completely silent.

She was about to get up in defeat a few minutes later, but just then she heard the front door. Daniel was home.

Not wanting to make the same mistake that she'd made last time, she sat up a little in bed and waited for him to come in. No faking sleep this time. She wanted him to know she was available to talk if he needed to.

He entered the room a minute later, looking worn out and defeated. She could only imagine what thoughts had been going through his mind all day to make him look that bad. He headed straight for the bathroom without even looking at her, and she decided it would be best to let him.

When he came back into the bedroom and started getting undressed, though, she made a point of rustling the bedding so he would know she was awake. "Daniel?"

He looked over at her in surprise. "Thought you were asleep," he said.

Janet shrugged. "I was trying," she said. "Wasn't really working."

Daniel gave an awkward nod and went back to undressing. He swayed a little as he pulled off his jeans, and had to sit down on the bed as he put his sweatpants on. His movements were anything but coordinated.

Janet sat up even more to get a better look at him. "Daniel... are you drunk?" she asked in disbelief.

"Of course not," Daniel said, even as he stood up and climbed rather clumsily into the bed.

Janet leaned towards him and sniffed as he lay down. "You are, aren't you? What..."

"I went to Jack's," Daniel said, his words definitely starting to slur together as he got comfortable against his pillow. "I had one beer. Thought it would help me sleep."

"One beer?" Janet repeated, only just resisting the urge to slap him. "One beer gets you drunk, Daniel. My God, you didn't drive home, did you?"

"No," Daniel said as his eyes closed. "Jack dropped me... off..."

"Looks like it worked," Janet muttered. He was out like a light.

The tears finally started filling her eyes as she lay back down. It was all just so unfair. No matter how hard he tried to deny it, it seemed like Daniel blamed her for getting pregnant and was now keeping her at arm's length because of it. They hadn't made love at all in the past week. He'd barely even kissed her. Now he was coming home drunk? It was just like her first marriage all over again.

She remembered what they'd told Cassie - that nothing was going to come between them and split them up. She knew that was true, but part of her was just afraid they would never be the same again. What if Daniel never fully forgave her? What if their baby was born sick after all, and they had to stand back and watch him or her die? Would they ever even be able to look at each other again?

Her turbulent thoughts soon dictated that she get up and move around, so she climbed out of bed, put on her robe, and tiptoed downstairs. Once she was there, though, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. She didn't feel like watching TV, she was much too restless to read, and the thought of food still made her want to throw up. The only thing she could do was exactly what she did - sink down onto the couch, put her face in her hands, and cry.

She lost all track of time as she sat there. So many thoughts raged through her mind, both good and bad, that she felt as though her head was spinning. It seemed to hit her all at once that she was actually going to have a baby. It was the most overwhelming thing she had ever experienced. It just made her cry all the more that it wasn't something she was allowed to be happy about.

Her tears were just starting to run dry when she suddenly felt another presence in the room. She just about jumped out of her skin when she looked up and saw a shadowed figure standing over her.

When that shadowed figure sat down beside her and laid his hand on her back, however, the relief was enough to start a fresh flood of tears. She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder as he stroked her back and massaged the nape of her neck with his gentle hands.

"I'm sorry," she said between sobs.

"It's okay," Daniel whispered into her hair.

"You walked away from me!"

"I know. I'm sorry."

Janet sniffed and lowered her arms as she backed away enough to look at him. Daniel cupped her face in his hands and wiped her cheeks with his thumbs as they gazed at each other. Even in the darkness, she could see that his eyes were red and puffy, and probably not just because of the alcohol.

"Daniel..." Her voice choked on that one word, but from the understanding look in his eyes, she could tell he knew what she wanted to say. This was the most wonderful and terrifying thing that had happened to either one of them, and they needed to stick together if they were going to survive it.

"I know," Daniel said. He kissed her forehead and let it linger for a few moments. "I wasn't angry with you, sweetheart."

Janet sighed and closed her eyes as he guided her head to his chest and rocked them both gently from side to side. She encircled his waist with her arms and clung to him for dear life. "We can make it through this, can't we?" she asked, her words muffled into his chest.

Daniel didn't answer at first, and she was about to ask again when he finally spoke. "We've already been to hell and back once. If we survived that... we can pretty much make it through anything."

She hoped to God he was right.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...