Chapter 4
Clammy hands... distorted faces... unearthly moans... sudden, sharp pain... his own terrified screams...
Daniel was shaking and covered in sweat when he finally woke up. By the time his sense of reality fully returned to him, he was ready to smash something in his frustration. Why was he destined to never leave that place behind?
He looked over at Janet as he took some deep breaths and tried to calm down. She was fast asleep. He was glad of that. He'd already woken her up twice in the past three hours with his damn nightmares. She needed as much rest as possible.
Once the adrenaline rush had dissipated, Daniel turned over onto his side facing his wife and lay there watching her sleep. She was lying on her back with one arm draped across her pillow and her face turned towards him, almost as though she'd posed that way for a portrait. He smiled at the thought of taking this moment and framing it on the wall. What he wouldn't give to stop the world and stay here forever.
Or at least for the next nine months or so.
He felt sick to his stomach at the thought of what the coming year was going to hold for them. It was undoubtedly going to be the longest year of his life - especially the next few weeks. At least in his nightmares things like this happened suddenly and then were gone. In reality, he'd have to live with his fear day and night until they knew for certain one way or another whether their baby was going to live.
Their baby... God, he couldn't believe it was actually happening. He felt tears sting his eyes at the thought, and he wasn't sure whether they were tears of joy or sorrow. He figured that was a feeling he'd be having quite frequently from now on. He just wished that for one moment he could be as happy about this as he would have been before their lives had been turned upside down.
Daniel reached out and gently tucked a wisp of Janet's hair behind her ear so he could have an unobstructed view of her face. She breathed in deeply and tensed a little before releasing her breath and relaxing again. That one little movement seemed to comfort him somehow. She was there - his Janet, always so vibrant and alive - and they would make it through this. They had to. He'd promised her they would.
He remembered what Jack had said to him earlier that night - "Stop acting like this is just your problem, Daniel. In case you hadn't noticed, your wife is the one who's going to spend the next few months carrying a baby that might not even live. Give her a break, huh?"
Daniel had thought about this comment for the next few minutes, but by the time he'd arrived home, the beer had made him so drowsy that he just didn't care. He regretted that he hadn't acknowledged her properly before falling asleep, but was glad he'd woken up when he did. To think that if he hadn't, Janet would have spent the night crying all on her own. He couldn't have lived with himself then.
When five minutes had passed without so much as a movement from Janet, Daniel slowly pulled back the covers from her upper body. As soon as he laid his hand on her belly, that feeling of joy he'd been longing for finally washed over him.
He was going to be a father.
When Cassie had jokingly called him "Dad" the other day, it had made him realize how much he'd always wanted to hear it. Now he really was going to be "Dad" to someone.
But someone who probably wouldn't live to be old enough to say it.
That thought acted towards his joy like a pin to a balloon. He sighed and lay back down, wrapping his arm around Janet and resting his head on her shoulder. His heart was literally aching, the weight of his fear quickly dragging him down into despair.
Janet shifted in her sleep and laid her cheek against his forehead, almost as though she were trying to comfort him. Whether that was her true intention or not, it certainly worked. Her peacefulness was contagious, and while his worries didn't disappear completely, he was at least able to relax against her.
It had just occurred to him that he was holding his entire world in his arms when he fell asleep.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
"Cassie, honey? I need to talk to you a minute."
"Wow, that didn't sound good," Cassie said as she entered the living room and sat down.
Janet gave her a small smile. "Sorry, sweetie," she said. "That's just because I'm not overly sure how you're going to take what I'm about to tell you."
Cassie's face drained of colour. "You guys are splitting up, aren't you?"
"No! No, we're not," Janet quickly assured her, mentally kicking herself for giving her that impression. "Nothing like that."
Cassie narrowed her eyes. "Then... what?"
Janet took a deep breath and clenched her fists. Here goes nothing... "I'm pregnant."
There was silence for a long moment as Cassie stared at her, stunned. Just as it was about to drive her crazy, Cassie said in a low voice, "By Daniel?"
Janet couldn't hold back a surprised laugh at that. "Of course by Daniel!" she said. "Who did you think?"
"But... I thought... I thought you and Daniel couldn't have kids," Cassie said, her face the picture of shock and confusion.
"Well, it's not so much that we couldn't have kids," Janet said. "It's more that we felt we shouldn't."
"Because they'd get that... funky alien disease thing," Cassie said.
Janet nodded slowly. "They might."
"So... why are you having one?"
Janet shrugged. "Sometimes these things just happen. 'Happy accidents,' my mother used to say..."
"That's what you guys have been fighting about, isn't it?" Cassie said, folding her arms across her chest and leveling a glare at her mother. "You've known all this time and didn't tell me."
"We didn't know for sure until yesterday," Janet said. "We told you as soon as..."
"As soon as you decided you're gonna keep it," Cassie finished for her in an angry tone. "How can you possibly call this a happy accident, Mom? The kid's just gonna die!"
Janet felt as though she'd been slapped in the face by this remark. She couldn't believe those words had just come out of her daughter's mouth. "Don't you dare talk to me like that," she said hoarsely.
It was all she could say past the lump growing in her throat and the tears filling her eyes. She felt as though if she looked at that defiant face any longer she'd be tempted to hit it, so she turned around to face the wall. She stood there until she heard Cassie storm out of the room and up the stairs.
Janet sank down on the couch as soon as the girl was gone, and buried her face in her hands. Moments later, she heard someone enter the room, and looked up to see Daniel standing over her looking concerned.
"It didn't sound like it went well," he said as he knelt down in front of her.
Janet shook her head and gulped down a sob. "No, it didn't," she said.
"Hey." Daniel put his arms around her and guided her head to his shoulder. Once her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, he started slowly stroking her back. "She's just as scared as we are," he said.
"I know," Janet said. "But it was what she said..."
"I'm sure she didn't mean it. She's a teenager... teenagers say things they don't mean all the time."
Janet laughed and released her hold on his neck. "I guess you're right."
Daniel gave her an encouraging smile. "I'll talk to her later, okay?"
Janet nodded and forced a small smile in return. "Thanks, Daniel."
Daniel moved his hands to cup her face, and then gently drew it closer to his. Janet closed her eyes as he kissed her - the first truly loving, passionate kiss they'd shared since this whole mess began.
Pretty soon her fingers were entangled in his hair, and her worries had temporarily been forgotten.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Cassie threw herself on her bed as soon as she entered her room, kicking the door shut as she did so. She was so mad she could punch a hole in the wall. Janet was pregnant? What kind of bull was that!
She couldn't believe she'd completely missed the signs. All the fights, all the worried looks at each other across the dinner table, all the secrecy... why the hell hadn't they told her, anyway? What, did they think she couldn't take it? Why was everyone always treating her like a little kid?
Little kid... they were actually going to have a baby in the house in a few months. That is, if it even lived that long. But what if it did? What if they brought it home, and started coochie-cooing with it all over the place? It'd cry all through the night, puke all the time, have smelly diapers... oh God, what if they asked her to babysit it? What if they made her change its stinky diapers? There was no way in hell.
But most unnerving of all... what if when she went off to college, everybody completely forgot about her? They'd have this new baby demanding all their attention, after all, and not only was it going to be little and cute, but it was also theirs. Not just some orphaned kid from another planet... their very own baby. How could she possibly compete with that?
She lay there mulling this over for a while, until she heard a soft knock at her door. "What?" she called, sitting up against the headboard and grabbing one of the stuffed animals from the shelf beside the bed.
"It's Daniel. Can I come in?"
Cassie sighed. "Okay," she said, clutching the toy close to her stomach.
Daniel opened the door and poked his head inside. "Can we talk?"
She shrugged and looked down.
Daniel took that as his invitation and stepped further into the room, closing the door behind him. "Mind if I join you?" he asked, gesturing to the bed.
Cassie shrugged again. "Whatever."
He cleared his throat and sat down at the foot of the bed. "You know, you upset your mom pretty bad down there," he said quietly.
Cassie winced. Why was he being so nice? She was trying to be angry here.
"Anything you want to talk about?" Daniel asked once he realized he wasn't going to get a response.
"Not really," Cassie replied.
"Okay," Daniel said with a nod. "Fair enough. But... you know that being angry and giving us the silent treatment isn't going to change anything, right?"
Cassie looked up at him through her lashes. "You were angry."
Some kind of pain flashed across Daniel's face for a second before he looked down at his hands. "Yeah, I was," he said. "I guess I still am a little angry. But with the situation, not with your mom."
He looked at her again, and the earnestness in his eyes made Cassie feel a stab of guilt. She had to look away again before she started to cry.
"We have to stick together, Cass," Daniel said. "If this baby is born sick... well, we have to prepare ourselves for that. And if it isn't... I guess we have to prepare ourselves for that, too. But either way, this baby is coming. Believe me, I'd give anything to go back and change that... but what's done is done."
Cassie nodded, but didn't look up. She could see it all in her mind already - all the grief and anger if the baby died, and all the joy and laughter if the baby lived. Either way, they would never be the same again.
"By the way, I heard what you said about us not telling you right away," Daniel said a few moments later. "For the record... I didn't want to tell you for another two or three months."
Cassie looked up at him in surprise, ready to snap at him in annoyance, but then she saw the look on his face. It was soft... loving, with a bit of good humour added in.
"It was your mom's idea to tell you now," he said. "She wanted us to be a unit in this... to support each other. So cut her some slack, okay?"
Cassie wasn't sure how to respond to this. A unit? Support each other? He made it sound like a military team. "Okay," she said tentatively. "As long as I don't have to change any diapers."
Daniel smiled and gave a short laugh. "Well, you don't have to worry about that just yet anyway," he said as he rose to his feet. He stepped closer to her and bent down to kiss her forehead. He turned to leave the room then, but stopped at the door to look back at her. "We're gonna be okay," he said. He gave her another small smile, and then left.
She hugged the stuffed toy even harder once Daniel was gone, and buried her face in its soft fur. This was going to be a long wait.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
To be continued...