Author's Note: I'm planning on making this story canon (non AU) but at the same time 'push the envelope' a bit. Since I have no idea how long the Rebels were on Hoth, I'll be 'getting away' with a few things for the storyline. So please be patient.

Chapter 12: Luke

Luke rested inside the Millennium Falcon by the little game table and he didn't know what to think anymore. Was Han right and the whole thing was just some trick by the Imperials? He had to admit what Han had said made sense but his heart just didn't want to believe it. He really had wanted Anakin to be his real father and know he just wasn't sure. Why couldn't Han have just agreed with him and have been happy?

/I hate this stupid war!/

It was the war that was messing up his life. It had caused the deaths of his only family and now it was going to tear his new father away, too, just because he was on the other side of the conflict!

"You OK, Luke?" Han asked, a worried expression on his face. "I know it hurts, but you really have to be careful. If Mon Mothma ever found out you were writing to Imperials, do you know what she'd do?"

"Be angry?" Luke replied in a flat, emotionless voice. The whole thing was making him depressed.

"She'd court martial you!" Han replied. The smuggler moved to sit down next to Luke at the little table. "Look, Luke. This is serious. I mean it. You may see it as just writing to your dad, but they won't see it that way. If they even get a slight whiff of this, I bet you'd find yourself in the slammer. Then they'd start a big investigation into your life and background…your reputation would be ruined. Trust me, you don't want to go through that."

"But I didn't really tell him anything important, not Rebel stuff anyway." Luke sighed, running a hand through his blonde hair. "I was just mainly talking about myself and my feelings, talking about his life. I doubt if he even knows I'm a Rebel. Besides, he never asked where I lived."

"Don't you think that's a little odd? That's one of the first things I would ask." Han stated as he stared at Luke. "Face it, Kid, your penpal knows you're a Rebel. That's why he didn't ask. He wanted you to keep writing so he avoided that question on purpose, knowing if he asked you couldn't tell him and that made him worry you wouldn't reply so he didn't ask it."

"Yeah, I get it." Luke leaned forward onto the game table, resting his head on the smooth surface. He covered his head with both arms.

"Are you going to write this guy again?" Han asked.

"I want to…" Luke muttered.

"Even knowing you could be court-martialed?"

"Maybe I don't care anymore." Luke mumbled, his emotions at their all time low. Right now he didn't feel like doing anything at all. The war didn't seem all that important anymore but something far away. Just a short time ago he had been so happy and excited but it all had fallen apart when he had told Han. It was because of the war that he was here on this miserable planet freezing his butt off. Heck, he didn't even have quarters yet. "Nothing seems important."

"Luke, don't talk that way!" Han cried. The smuggler was starting to panic. It was clear his friend was slipping into a deep depression and he was partly to blame for it. "Look, I said I was going to help you research this guy and I will, I promise! But don't talk like that. OK?"

"I can't help how I feel, Han. All my life I wanted my father and then you say it's not real!" Luke lifted his head up and stared at Han with red-rimmed eyes.

The sight of his friend in so much distress broke Han's heart. "Where's your computer?"

"I left it in my X-wing."

"Well, go get it before someone else gets their hands on it!" Han shouted as he leaped out of his seat and dashed towards the door that would lead outside. "You just can't leave such a thing lying around, for galaxy sake! What if someone flips it on and finds those letters?"

Luke shrugged. He knew what Han was saying, but he just couldn't get excited about it anymore.

/What's wrong with me? Why don't I seem to care anymore?/

He leaned back against the padded seat and sighed. He really hadn't been with the Rebellion all that long so maybe that's why he felt like this. Sure, they'd given him a cool fighter to fly and stuff, but…

/Even the idea of flying doesn't excite me anymore./

He watched Han as the man pulled on his warm winter parka with the fur-lined hood and pressed the control for the ramp to lower. A moment later the smuggler slipped outside and Luke shivered as icy air blew into the ship. He knew he should get up and go close the ramp, but the idea seemed to require too much effort. It was so much easier just to sit here and shiver. He wrapped his arms around his body, his teeth chattering. Maybe the extreme cold was a good thing. Perhaps if it were cold enough, it would numb his feelings and then the pain wouldn't hurt so much.

A few moments later Han reappeared and hurried inside, carrying Luke's computer case. Once he was within the ship, he closed the door again and set the thermostat control to High. Hot air began to blow from vents hidden throughout the ship as Han removed his parka and tossed it onto a chair. Going over to the table where Luke sat, Han placed the computer case onto the game table.

Han stared at Luke.

Luke just sat there and didn't say anything.

"Look, Kid. I'm going to figure this out for you, OK? We'll start at the beginning. You say he won the Boonta Eve Classic on Tatooine, right? Well, we'll go there then and look at the actual race records. We'll see if we can find any paperwork or files from when he was a slave." Han grinned, hoping the news would cheer his buddy up.

"It's hopeless, Han." Luke sighed as he slumped lower into his chair, his arms crossed over his chest. "I doubt if they keep records. Tatooine is so … lawless. And I don't think they had podracing there for who knows how long. I doubt if we'd find anything. It'll be just a big waste of time."

"We'll go see this other guy then, in person. The one from the website." Han added, trying to cheer Luke up.

"Besides, we're here and Tatooine is far away." Luke really didn't feel like talking to Han or anyone else. No, he wanted to be alone so he could mope, maybe go to sleep. Yeah, sleeping sounded like a good idea.

"So? We'll blast off in the Falcon. We'll be there in no time."

Luke frowned. Han was beginning to get on his nerves.

"Come on, Kid. What do you say?"

Luke's frown turned into an angry glare.

"Luke, you have to say something! I'm willing to risk my life here for you by going to Tatooine! Jabba the Hutt wants me, you know. That should tell you how guilty I feel for making you feel this way and I'd wish you'd say something!"

Luke snapped. "You don't really care if he's my father or not! You only care that he's an Imperial. Admit it, Han, that's the real problem here. Researching all the background isn't going to change that fact! He'll still be an Imperial Commander!"

"Well, at least you finally said something." Han nervously ran a hand through his brown hair. He realized he had a real sticky problem here and if the Alliance ever found out, they'd probably court martial him as well. Not that he'd care. He'd been a rogue before and he could always be one again. But the kid was too straight and narrow to live that way. He'd never make it. "Yeah, I guess you're right about that. But at least if we research it, we could find out IF he really is who he says he is. And that's really important."

The anger faded away, leaving Luke numb again. "I guess so."

"Don't go slipping into that emotionless state again." Han pleaded. He took the computer out of its carrying case and plugged it into a wall slot, then pushed it towards his depressed friend. "Why don't you check if the old man sent you another letter, huh?"

"What does it matter if he is? He's still an Imperial." Luke pointed out, his voice flat as he stared down at his own lap.

"Yeah, but maybe you could convince him to leave the Empire." Han reached out and turned the computer on. The screen lit up as it went through the warm up phrase. "Come on, don't act this way! I'm trying to help you here but you have to cooperate, too!"

Luke raised his blue eyes towards the computer's lit screen, curiosity piquing in him.

/I wonder if I have a letter?/

As if of their own accord, Luke reached for the controls and soon had signed into his email account. The depression vanished from his face as he found a new letter from Podracer waiting. Sitting up straighter, Luke slid closer to the screen and clicked on it. The letter appeared on his screen and he eagerly began to read.

Han watched in amazement. "Boy, he sure has you hooked."

Luke didn't even hear Han's words; he was so engrossed in the latest letter. Without warning, he leaped upward and shouted. "He IS my father! He knew my uncle's name was Owen Lars!"

"Oh, brother." Han collapsed into a chair and hung onto his head. "You really are hooked, bad!"

"Whoa! He knows Darth Vader!" Luke whispered after he had settled himself back down.

"Vader?" Han asked as he lowered his hands from his head. He stared at Luke for a long moment and then a horrified expression appeared on his face. The smuggler shook his head rapidly, his hair getting mussed. "Nah!"

Still, Han couldn't take his brown eyes off Luke and he continued to watch him, a strange expression on his face.

"He asked me to be his apprentice!" Luke shouted gleefully. "He really is a Jedi!"

"NO!" Han leaped out of his chair, alarm clearly on his face. "You can't do that, Luke!"

"But it's what I always wanted since I learned my father was a Jedi!" Luke replied, his voice sounding more like his old self now. He stared at Han in confusion. "Now what's wrong?"

"It's just that, " Han paused, wondering how to phrase the next few words. "You really don't know who this guy is. Is he asking you to go join him somewhere?"

"Well, not yet." Luke admitted. "He did say he doesn't want to leave Executor because he's worried he wouldn't be accepted here."

"So he wants you to go to Executor?" Han asked, worried. "You wouldn't do something that stupid now, would you?"

"Of course not, Han!" Luke laughed. "I just can't fly up to Executor in my X-wing and say I want to see my penpal Anakin! Can you imagine the trouble he'd get into?"

"Somehow I doubt if he'd get into trouble." Han muttered to himself.

Luke gazed into his friend's eyes with that piercing look. "Why do you say that?"

"Oh, no real reason except that he's a Commander and all." Han rubbed his chin, his dark eyes darting around the room nervously. Finally they settled on Luke again. "Are you sure that's his real rank?"

"Why? Do you think he's like a janitor or a technician?"

Han groaned and sat down heavily. "You just don't get it Kid, do you?"

"Get what?"

"Look, did he say anything about his appearance?" Han asked as he started drumming his fingers on the tabletop.

"Yeah, why?" Luke didn't see why Han all of a sudden cared what his penpal or his father looked like. Appearance shouldn't be all that important. "I always thought you were the type that wouldn't care about such a thing. That's why he doesn't want to come over here. He's worried that my friends wouldn't be able to accept him because of how he looks. He suffered a lot of injuries in the Clone Wars and he's pretty scarred up."

Han drummed his fingers faster. "That fits."

"You know I don't have the slightest idea what you're blabbing about." Luke admitted, and then went back to reading his letter.

"This is far worst than I thought!" Han muttered as he got out of his seat and started pacing the floor nervously. "How the heck am I going to get Luke out of this mess?"

"He really IS my Father, Han! He has the same last name as I do!" Luke shouted joyfully.

"This is a disaster!" Han threw his arms up in the air and started worrying harder.

"I have to write him back!" Luke cried as he eagerly punched the reply button.

"This is a catastrophe!"

Dear Anakin,

I was so depressed earlier today and then I read your letter and now I'm so happy you can't imagine it! It's crazy how my emotions are flip-flopping like that but it's true! And I'm so happy to know you're my father! I dreamed about finding you for so long and imagined it hundreds if not thousands of times. To think that we found ourselves by accident and just started writing each other. Like you said, it must be the will of the Force! Yes, my uncle's name was Owen Lars and my last name is Skywalker!

I'm on that cold snowy planet now. You can't imagine how cold it is! I mean, the word cold doesn't begin to describe it at all! I was just lucky my ship managed to land OK. Can you believe ice had formed around the cockpit during that short time I was landing? That's just crazy if you ask me! And the stuff is so slippery! I'm embarrassed to say the first thing I did when I got out of my ship was to slip on the ice and fell. I didn't get out into the snow yet, so I can't tell you what I think of it but I definitely do not like ice! And I hate the cold even more.

I told my buddy about you. I hope you're not mad. I guess he doesn't think it's such a good idea I'm writing to you, mainly because you're in the Empire. He has this thing against the Empire. Yet I think he's curious about you, too. You should see how he's pacing the floor and muttering. It's kind of funny in a way. I'm not really too sure what he's muttering about. It doesn't make much sense if you ask me. I mainly told him because I was so happy I had found my father that I wanted to share the excitement with my best friend. Well, he's a bit skeptical that you are my father but I think you can understand that. I know you are though. He'll come around. You'll see. He always does.

Have you told anyone about me?

Yes, I know the training will require a lot of hard work. I'm just not too sure how we can go about it though. I mean, if you don't want to leave Executor and I'm here, how are we going to do this? Do you have any idea?

Do you have a photograph you could send me? I'd really like to see what you look like. I know you worry about your appearance, but I promise it wont bother me, Father. I'll send you one of me. Even my friend was curious as to what you look like. I assure you he doesn't worry about that type of thing. It's really the whole Empire thing that's got him on edge. Like I told you before, his past is a bit shady so I guess he thinks this whole thing is shady, too. He doesn't understand about the Force guiding us. He doesn't believe in the Force and thinks it's a bunch of tricks.

I'd be glad to train with you! But how can we do it? To become a Jedi is my dream! But if you work on Executor and don't want to leave it, how can you train me? I certainly can't go onto Executor! What would I say? I mean, that would never work and Darth Vader would find out. Then we'd both be in trouble!

How did you manage to hide your Jedi past from him?

Of course I can accept you! You could be a Gamorian and I'd accept you! Or have Bantha breath and be as fat as a Hutt. That doesn't matter to me. What matters is that you're my father and that you care about me! I just wish we could meet so I could really get to know you, but I'm not sure if that's possible with you working on Executor. That ship isn't exactly open to visitors, you know.

Let me know if you think of something!

Love,

Your son, Luke

Luke then attached a photograph of himself to the letter and pressed the send button.

To be continued…