Chapter 13: Darth Vader
Darth Vader stood in his favorite spot on the bridge of Executor and stared at the stars on the main viewer. His son was somewhere out there and would soon be moving to an icy world. Just the thought of snow and ice chilled the Sith Lord's body. Cold was the one thing he had never gotten used to after all these years, most likely because of his childhood spent on oven hot Tatooine. Would his son be able to handle the cold? More importantly, did he know about things like frostbite and hypothermia?
/I should have told him about those things in my last letter./
The last thing he wanted was for his son to freeze to death on some forgotten artic world just because the Rebels had moved there. Why couldn't they have stayed on Yavin 4? But of course the Empire knew of that hideout so they had moved.
/At least I had received survival training from the Jedi Order that included artic conditions./
Would the Rebel Alliance do the same for its members? Or didn't the leaders care if a few volunteers froze to death? He hoped they had taken Luke's Tatooine background into consideration.
/Perhaps that smugger friend of his – Solo – will look after him./
Not wishing to dwell on cold anymore, his mind shifted slightly to the boy himself. How would he respond to the latest letter and his offer of an apprenticeship? Vader was sure the boy would be eager to join him, yet he might hesitate simply because he was a Rebel. Yes, that might cause a hitch in plans. He would be fearful of approaching a Commander of Executor simply because he was a Rebel. But there must be a way around that somehow…
/I could offer to meet him elsewhere, on a planet's surface./
Would his son be willing to meet him in person? Could letters actually convince the boy to go that far? And if he did decide to meet him, would he do so alone or with a bunch of Alliance members? Not that such an encounter would worry the Sith Lord. What was blaster bolts compared to the Force? Still, it would make capturing his son much harder. Better if the boy came alone to the meeting. But then, such plans were premature when he didn't even know his son's name yet.
/He will need to tell me his name first./
Yes, that alone implied his son trusted him.
/It would be nice to have someone I could trust…/
Perhaps his son would be that person. They were of the same blood and had many of the same talents, that much was clear. Maybe the Force wanted him to trust the boy and that's why they had been put into contact. Still, actually going to meet his son in person would require great trust and effort on his part. He had begun to feel he knew Farmboy already through the letters and had formed a definite attachment. And as the old Jedi Order used to say, attachments were forbidden. Oddly enough, the same rule went for the Sith. A Sith was supposed to be able to kill anyone that got in their way, to be emotionless. Everyone knew a person with no feelings made the best psychopaths because pain and suffering didn't bother them. Yet, he here was getting attached to the boy and they hadn't even met yet.
/My Master wouldn't be pleased./
Yes, his Master Palpatine. He needed to be able to train Luke without Palpatine finding out. So far his Master was unaware the boy existed and he wanted to keep it that way. Without a doubt, his son was too kind-hearted to last long under the Emperor's cruel tutelage. More than likely he would be killed and then he'd be alone in the galaxy again, the last connection to his dear Padme gone forever.
/And that I couldn't bare./
Like it or not, he was just too emotional. That had always been his problem though. Strong emotions he couldn't get a grip on no matter how hard he tried. The feelings would just build in him and before he knew it, they would explode outward. Sometimes it was anger and people would die. Other times it was lust and well, Padme learned about that all too well. In fact, his emotions were so strong that often just a simple glance was more than enough to let others know exactly what he was feeling or thinking.
/That is another reason I wear this mask./
Although he often hated the mask, sometimes he was grateful to it as well. How many times had it hid a smile or smirk on his face during critical moments? It also gave him the privilege of hiding his emotions on others. He could be standing here laughing at his bridge crewmembers but as long as he didn't make any sounds they didn't know it. The same went for the Emperor.
At the same time, the mask invoked fear in those around him. This in turn led to better work performance. They had no idea who he really was and often had no idea of what he truly was feeling. The face normally sent so many signals but the mask removed it all.
/But how will my son react to it?/
And now matter how hard he tried, Lord Vader couldn't stop thinking about that final reaction his son would have when he learned the truth and actually saw him in person.
/He will be the first person to know my true identity in so many years…/
The idea was frightening.
/I must be insane to be willing to tell someone the galaxy's biggest secret./
Nothing bad will come of it.
/I can trust him. He is my son./
He is also a Rebel though. He may tell someone else and how will you know what that person will do with the information? Vader closed his eyes and tried to imagine how the Empire and the rest of the galaxy would react if they found out that he, Lord Vader, had been a slave. There was a slim possibility that everything would fall apart. His crew may refuse to listen to him. And that may be just the beginnings of the problems. His Master may even grow so angry he may try to kill him and take a replacement as his apprentice. He certainly had replaced apprentices before.
/Palpatine is a true Sith, as cold-blooded as a reptile./
Yes, the Emperor could kill him without blinking an eye. For all Vader knew, he may even be training another already. He wouldn't put that past his Master. The man was too devious, always plotting years ahead by things he saw in Force-visions. It would be almost impossible to kill him. Yet Vader held a secret hope that with his son's help they could actually pull it off.
Still, meeting his son would take incredible bravery.
/I will not be frightened of my own son!/
Yet the thought preyed on his mind until he grew restless. Turning on his heel, Vader stormed off the bridge into the waiting turbolift. Within moments he was breezing through the familiar corridors of his beloved ship until he reached his personal quarters. The doors opened for him and he entered. He had found when he felt this odd restlessness that writing to the boy helped relieve those feelings. The Sith Lord didn't understand why this was so but it was so. He flicked on his computer with a finger and waited impatiently for it to power up. Pulling a chair up, he settled himself down and called up his email program. Perhaps if he were lucky a new letter from his son would be waiting in his mailbox.
/I wonder what he is doing now?/
Soon he was on the galaticweb and he searched through his email. There, a new letter from his son! He opened it and began to read. His machine-regulated heart skipped a beat when he read his son had fallen on the ice.
/He needs to be more careful!/
And then his heart really leaped when he read the next paragraph, a cold sweat erupting from his pores.
/WHAT?! He told that Solo about me?/
Vader had no doubt in his mind that the friend his son was so eagerly talking about was none other than Han Solo himself, conman, smuggler and space pirate. He couldn't count the number of times Solo's ship had been caught and boarded, illegal cargo removed. The man didn't have a trustworthy bone in his body. Still, the boy seemed to see something in him. He wondered if Solo had been the cause of his son's depression that had been mentioned at the beginning of the letter.
/Most likely Solo yelled at him for writing to an Imperial./
The Sith Lord could imagine that scenario easily. But then, Solo could be a threat to his plan. If the smuggler convinced his son not to write to him…
/Still, he did write to me./
Exactly how much influence did Solo have over his son? This could very well turn into a battle of wills between the two of them with Farmboy as the prize. The smuggler may be there physically, but only he had what his son desired.
/Only I can teach him how to use the Force and besides, he wants his father…/
The thought reassured Vader somewhat. Still, he exactly didn't care for this turn of events. It was done, so he had to deal with it and hope for the best.
/I wonder what Solo was muttering about?/
Vader continued to read the letter.
/A photograph? My son wants a photograph?/
He leaned back in his chair, thinking. Did he even have a photograph of himself? Truthfully, he wasn't entirely sure. He glanced back at the screen and for the first time noted that there was an attachment to the letter. He had been so eager to read news from his son that the detail had escaped his notice. Now he clicked on the download button, excitement building in his body. If this was what he thought it was, it may make up for his telling Solo about their friendship. Yes, it was an image file. Slowly the picture formed on the screen and for the first time Darth Vader found himself staring into his son's blue eyes. The eyes were remarkably like his had been so long ago. Perhaps his eyes were still that way. He had just stopped looking at himself in mirrors because his current appearance without the mask was too horrible even for his own eyes. He had been so handsome at one time…
His boy appeared to be a young man between eighteen to twenty years old with blonde shaggy hair. The hairstyle wasn't all that different from the one he had sported when he had lived all those years ago on Tatooine. Yes, it was clear this truly was his son. He couldn't tell of his built, as it was a head and neck shot. This was the most precious gift he had received and looking at it brought tears to his eyes as warmth appeared in his body.
/My son truly loves me and trusts me!/
His throat seemed to tighten as the warm emotion built inside him. He swallowed reflexively, trying to ease the odd tightness but it did little good. He clenched his eyes tightly shut but warm tears leaked out from under his lashes and slid down his cheeks. Then his nose got into the act and threatened to start dripping from his powerful emotions. With shaking hands, Vader removed his mask and helmet. He gasped for air and stumbled towards his respirator with blurred vision. Soon his hands tightened around the hose and he hooked himself up. A strangled sound escaped from his lips and he started to cry in earnest.
/My son really loves me!/
It was so clear. If the boy didn't, he never would have sent a photograph of himself. Yet he did!
A while later when his sobs had quieted down, Vader wiped his face and went back towards his computer. The photograph of his smiling son was still on the screen, the familiar blue eyes staring at him.
/I will need to send him a photograph./
Yes, he definitely needed to send a photograph. Perhaps he had one from when he was younger stashed away somewhere. That was possible. Going towards his closet, Vader opened the door and peered within. He shoved the clothing on the side and glanced at the shelves way in the back. It had been a long time since he had looked at anything in here. Truthfully, he wasn't even sure what he had. Spying a dust-covered box on the shelf, he used the Force to pull it down. Opening it, he looked within and found a pack of old photographs from his Academy days. He stared at the top photograph for a long time, unmoving. It showed him as he used to be, so handsome and alive. He was about twenty-years-old and had his short, spiky Padawan haircut with the long braid. His Master stood next to him, one arm around his shoulders. That alone was odd, a very un-Obi-Wan thing. But then, his Master had been posing for the camera. The photograph went up to their chests and stopped. Plucking it from the box, Vader took it to the computer and scanned it in, and saved it as an image file. He knew be was being a bit reckless, but then his emotions usually had that affect on him.
/I will trust him as much as he trusted me./
Of course, the photo may cause a commotion on the other end. Vader shrugged his shoulders.
/He would find out anyway sooner or later. Let him figure it out on his own./
That is, providing his son was smart enough to recognize Obi-Wan.
The problem solved for the moment, Vader settled himself back into his chair and continued to read the letter.
/Why was Solo curious as to what I look like?/
This was an unexpected development. Had the smuggler figured out who he really was? But if he did, it was clear he hadn't told Farmboy. Why wouldn't Solo tell Farmboy of his suspicions? That didn't make much sense to Vader. It was far easier for him to understand his son's thoughts and actions than the smuggler's.
/I will need to think on this matter./
And what was he to tell him about Vader? His innocent son had asked how he had hidden his powers on the Sith Lord, not realizing he was the Sith Lord.
/My son is beginning to develop a talent for asking difficult questions./
But he was glad that his son wanted to train with him and to be with him. That alone was worth everything he had gone through up until this point. It would be worth even more to him if one day he could actually hold him in his arms. He reached the end of the letter and stared at those four magical letters of his son's name.
/Luke. My son's name is Luke./
The warmth returned and he basked in it this time, enjoying it instead of crying. Perhaps he was all cried out for the moment. But it still was emotional to finally learn his son's true name after all these years.
Reaching out, Vader composed a return letter.
Dear Luke,
You have no idea how much the photograph meant to me, to finally see you at last after all these years. It was the best present I ever received, even better than my freedom from being a slave. Just looking into your blue eyes that remind me so much of my own made me cry. Yes, your father can be very emotional at times, I'm afraid. I know they say men are not supposed to cry but I admit I did.
I wasn't too sure if I even had a photograph to send you, but I managed to find one. It was taken when I was twenty-years-old, before the Clone Wars started. As you can see, we both have the same blue eyes and a similar hair color. You can also see my Padawan braid. It was the common hairstyle of an apprentice Jedi in the old days before the Empire. The man in the photograph with me is my Master.
Why were you so depressed? Did it have anything to do with you telling your friend about our letters? No, I'm not mad you told him. I just hope you can trust him. No, I haven't told anyone about our letters. I have no one to tell.
I'm not surprised your friend doesn't understand the Force. People who don't possess it usually don't. In fact, they often fear it. In the ancient past, it was often misunderstood and people who had it and tried using it were killed. They were often called awful names and accused of things they didn't do. It is something you will have to get used of, I'm afraid. That kind of reaction is quite common, especially these days.
Thank you for trusting me with your name. It means very much to me.
Please be more careful on that icy world. Extreme cold can be very deadly. Please make sure you don't get frostbite or hypothermia. I wouldn't want to loose you now that I just found you. That would be too hard to take. Also try to remember about snow blindness. When you go out into the snow and everything is white around you, you can very easily get lost and turned around. You could be very close to shelter but just not see it because of the whiteness. Then you can go in the wrong direction and get lost. It has happened to many people. Another thing to remember is that wildlife may exist on that world. Life has developed under all types of conditions, even conditions that seem too extreme to us. Make sure no predator attacks you. Never let down your guard out there, especially if you're alone. The creature, if any exists, would most likely be white to better blend in with the snowy conditions. This would make it extremely difficult to see.
I will see if I can get a new photo of myself … if you really want to see what I look like these days. I warn you it will not be a pretty sight. Do you really want to know?
As to how I hid my Force powers from Vader … well, he knows. He just doesn't do anything about it. It may sound odd to you but it's true. Perhaps it's because of my extensive injuries…
I was thinking perhaps we could meet somewhere, once we got to know each other better that is. You know, on some planet somewhere. Go out and see some sights maybe. What do you think of that idea? I think I could get away from Executor to do that. But we would really need to trust each other to do something like that. It can be quite scary going to a meeting with someone you met on the galaticweb. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that.
Things are quite here on the Executor.
Hope all is well with you, my Son. Keep warm!
Your Father,
Anakin Skywalker
Darth Vader reread his latest letter and then attached the photo. Once it was all set, he sent it on its way.
To be continued…