Chapter 11

It was amazing how much better she felt after a shower, Janet mused as she hurried back to the infirmary. For those few moments as she'd stood under the spray of hot water, she had almost been able to forget that her life was never going to feel worth living again. Now that reality was setting in, she was just glad to be feeling clean.

She stopped in the doorway of the infirmary when she saw that Daniel was standing over Chloe's incubator. He appeared to be talking quietly to her, and she didn't want to disturb them. It was one of very few visits Daniel had paid her over the past two days, after all.

Janet had only been standing there for a few seconds when Daniel turned around and saw her. He seemed embarrassed, and took a couple of steps away from Chloe's side as Janet walked towards him.

"Hey," he said as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Sorry, I didn't see you standing there."

"It's okay. It's good to see you in here." Despite the distance she'd felt between them over the past couple of days, Janet found she couldn't resist reaching up to wrap her arms around his neck. She'd felt so alone the moment Chloe had gotten sick, and the feeling was only growing worse with each passing hour. She needed Daniel right now more than she'd ever thought it possible to need anyone, even if she was mad as hell at him for hiding in his office all the time.

Janet sighed when Daniel returned the embrace. She threaded her fingers through his hair and held on tight, pretending for that one minute that they were okay. The way Daniel was slowly moving his hands up and down her back brought back so many sweet memories.

But, just like her shower, this moment of fantasy had to end. Daniel's hands eventually moved to her arms, and removed them from around his neck.

"Janet?"

She laid her hands on his chest and looked up expectantly into his face.

He seemed to feel an overwhelming need to say something, but whatever it was wasn't coming easily. He had such a look of pain in his eyes that for a moment Janet feared that the baby had passed while she'd been gone.

She darted her gaze over to Chloe, and was relieved to see that her little chest was still rising and falling evenly. She was still stable. She was still fighting.

So, what was Daniel so reluctant to tell her?

"What is it?" she asked.

Daniel cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to another. "I, um... I was just talking with General Hammond," he said.

Janet narrowed her eyes at him, not sure what he was trying to say. When he didn't continue, she prodded, "What were you talking about?"

Daniel sighed and looked away for a second before making eye contact again. "I... I just feel as though I'm going crazy here, Janet," he said. "I can't stand just sitting here and watching her... fade." He took a deep breath and let the rest of his words out in a rush. "I requested to be assigned to a mission off world, and Hammond agreed."

Janet felt as though time froze after this revelation. She had suddenly been hit with the feeling that she was looking into the eyes of a complete stranger. There was no way Daniel would so carelessly abandon her at a time like this. Not when their baby was dying. Not when at any moment her world could come crashing down, and he would be the only person who could share her pain. Not when she needed him most.

He was talking again, but it took Janet a few seconds to figure out what he was saying.

"...think it would be good for me to get out there again. You know I wouldn't leave if I didn't feel it was necessary..."

She didn't even know her arm was moving until she heard the sharp snapping sound and felt a sudden sting in her palm. As soon as she realized what she'd done, her anger broke loose in full force, and she slapped him again.

"Necessary!" she cried. "How the hell could anything be more necessary than being with your daughter while she dies? Than being with me? What, it's just a coincidence that this is the first time you've dared go anywhere near the gate in the past year? You're a coward, Daniel! You can't face the reality of this situation, so you've got to run to the other side of the galaxy just to get away! Will I ever even see you again?"

Daniel stared at the floor through Janet's entire diatribe, not moving from the position she'd slapped him into and not uttering a sound. That only made Janet's anger worse.

"Forget it," she said in a low voice. "I don't even care. I don't know you anymore. Go. Just don't expect me to accept you back when you feel it's 'necessary' to return."

She turned her back on him and pressed her hands against the walls of Chloe's incubator as she tried to calm herself down.

"I'm sorry, Janet," Daniel whispered.

"Just go."

Her back stiffened as she heard Daniel take a step towards her, but then he paused, sighed, and walked slowly out of the infirmary.

As soon as he was gone, Janet covered her face with her hands and let her tears flow freely. As if it wasn't bad enough that she was losing her baby, she'd just lost her husband, too.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Jack tapped his foot and rested his arms on his P-90. He hated waiting.

He glanced over at Carter and Teal'c, and he could tell they were bored and impatient, too. With Carter that was easy to tell - she was chewing on the inside of her lip and shifting her weight from one foot to another while she looked around at every corner of the gateroom and then some. For Teal'c... well, he looked the same as ever with his hands folded behind his back and his head held high, but he exuded an air of boredom that was unmistakable.

"Where the hell is Daniel?" Jack demanded of Carter for the fifth time.

She gave him a wide-eyed look and shrugged.

Jack sighed. He knew Daniel was going through a rough time with the baby and all, but that was no reason to keep them all waiting like this.

Finally, he heard rapid footsteps approaching the gateroom, and a breathless Daniel ran through the door. "Sorry I'm late, I..." He stopped dead when he made eye contact with Jack. "What are you doing here?"

Jack gave him a look of utter disbelief. "Waiting for you," he said matter-of-factly. He squinted and looked more closely at Daniel's face when he noticed there was a huge red mark splashed across his cheek. "What's wrong with your face?" he asked.

Daniel closed his eyes and made a frustrated face for a split second before returning to normal. "I mean, what are you guys doing here? I thought I was going with SG-10."

Jack shrugged. "I requested that you go with us instead. It's your first mission since you-know-what, and I wanted to make damn sure you came back in one piece."

"But... who's with Cassie?" Daniel asked, almost desperately.

Jack tilted his head to one side as he sized Daniel up. "You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you weren't happy to see us."

"Cassie's fine," Carter said. "She's staying with friends."

"There, you see?" Jack said, shooting Carter a grateful look. "Cassie's fine, and we're all ready to go. Unless... you're having second thoughts?"

Part of him was hoping Daniel would say yes to that question. When Hammond had told him about Daniel's request to be sent off world, he'd known right away it was an escape tactic. It wasn't up to him to stop Daniel from going, but he wasn't against trying to talk him out of it.

Daniel wasn't going to make that easy. His back straightened, and a determined look came over his face as he stepped closer to the ramp. "No, no second thoughts," he said. "I'm ready to do this."

Jack signalled to Hammond in the control room, and the Stargate started dialling. He moved closer to Daniel when he noticed he stiffened up at the sound, and clapped his hand on Daniel's shoulder.

Daniel jumped and turned to face him. "What?"

"I just want to know that you understand what you're doing here," he said, loud enough that Daniel could hear him over the sound of chevrons locking, but quiet enough that no one else could. "If you go through that gate and something happens to Chloe..."

"Chloe's stable," Daniel said. "I just want to feel like I'm doing something, Jack. Not just sitting on my hands all day waiting for the inevitable. Why is that so hard for everyone to understand?"

Jack studied the mark on Daniel's face again, finally realizing what it was. Fraiser obviously hadn't understood. "Fine," he said. "But just so you know, Hammond is going to contact us if anything changes, good or bad, and if that happens, I'll drag you back by your ear if you so much as ask for one more second with these damn ruins. Are we clear?"

Daniel reacted like Jack had just slapped him, too. "Yeah," he said, pulling his shoulder out of Jack's grasp. "We're clear."

Jack didn't take his eyes off Daniel's face until the last chevron locked and the Stargate roared to life. He could tell Daniel was scared as hell, which wasn't exactly a surprise. He'd been avoiding the gateroom like a plague up until today because it brought back memories he obviously hadn't felt ready to deal with yet. What was surprising was that he'd chosen today to face them.

He hung back as Carter and Daniel walked up the ramp, and motioned to Teal'c to stick with him. As soon as Carter and Daniel disappeared through the event horizon, he said to Teal'c, "Watch him, will you? I'm bringing him back at the first sign this mission's getting too much for him."

Teal'c bowed his head. "I will."

Seconds later, Jack found himself on yet another grassy planet. The only thing that set this planet apart from the few hundred other grassy planets they'd visited was the crumbled down wall that encircled the gate at approximately a thirty-foot radius.

And that didn't exactly give it many points in Jack's book.

"So, Daniel... you know what you're doing here?" he asked as Daniel scanned their surroundings.

Daniel nodded vaguely and started walking towards the piece of wall to the right of the Stargate.

Jack shrugged and motioned for Teal'c to follow him. Then he turned to Carter. "Let's check this place out," he said. "I don't trust that MALP when it says the place is uninhabited."

They spent the next few minutes setting up a perimeter, and Jack kept half an eye on Daniel and Teal'c the whole time. Well, he kept half an eye on Teal'c. Daniel was out of his line of sight most of the time, squatting down to read whatever was written on the wall. Whenever he stood up to walk to another section of ruins, Jack studied him as closely as he could from a distance. He seemed nervous, but still determined. Jack had to give him credit for that.

When they reached a small wood, Jack sent Carter to give it a once-over alone and stationed himself in a position to keep an eye on both Carter and Daniel. When he turned his gaze back to the ruins, however, his marker was nowhere to be found.

"Teal'c?" he called. "Daniel?"

Daniel poked his head out from behind a hunk of wall and waved.

Jack shook his head. Knowing Daniel, he was probably subjecting Teal'c to a long and rather boring lecture about something he'd found. He was glad he'd assigned Teal'c to the job rather than himself.

"I think there's a cave in here, Sir," Carter called from the edge of the wood. "It appears to be empty, but there are some drawings on the walls I think Daniel would like to see."

"Great," Jack said unenthusiastically. "Yet another reason for us to stay here for hours on end."

Carter grinned and disappeared into the trees again.

"Crap," Jack muttered under his breath as he peered between the trees to look at it. And he'd been hoping to convince Daniel to leave this place sooner rather than later.

A sudden noise behind him caused him to snap to attention and spin around with his gun ready. Even so, it took a minute for him to fully believe what he was seeing.

Daniel was dialling the gate.

"Daniel?" he yelled. "What the hell are you doing?"

When Daniel didn't answer or even turn around, Jack started to run. "Hey!" he called. "If you wanted to go back, why didn't you just say so?"

Daniel ran behind the DHD as the wormhole engaged, and turned to face Jack with his zat gun armed. "Don't follow me, Jack," he said as Jack stopped ten feet away from him.

Jack held his hands out to his sides, sure that Daniel had finally cracked. "Easy, Daniel," he said, trying to sound as soothing as he could. "You don't need to use that. Just tell me what you're doing."

Daniel shook his head and started backing away from him. "I'm sorry," he said. "I don't want you to follow me."

"Okay. Okay, I won't follow you. Just tell me where you're going."

Daniel seemed torn between laughing and crying. "I can't," he said, still edging towards the gate. "You'd try to stop me."

Jack had just glanced at the DHD to see which chevrons were alight when he heard Carter cry, "Daniel!"

Daniel's attention was diverted to Carter for a second, so Jack took the opportunity to lunge towards him. "I'm sorry, Jack!" was the last thing he heard before the zat went off and all he could feel, hear, taste, smell, and see was pain.

He didn't know how much time passed before his senses stopped reeling, but the next thing he knew he was laying on the ground with Carter hovering over him. "Are you alright, Sir?" she asked.

"Daniel," Jack croaked as he struggled to sit up. "The son of a bitch shot me."

"Yes, Sir. He shot Teal'c, too."

Jack followed her pointed finger to see Teal'c pulling himself to his feet over by the ruins. "Dammit," he said, forcing himself to stand while waving away Carter's assistance. "Where the hell did he go?"

"I don't know, Sir," she said. "The Stargate had shut down by the time I was close enough to see the DHD. Did you get a look at it before..."

Jack glared at her as her voice trailed off. "Yeah, I saw it for a second," he said. He moved over to the DHD and wracked his brains to remember which symbols had been activated. "I think... this one... maybe this one and this one... and this one..."

"Oh my God," Carter said. "He... he asked me the other day if I could figure out a Stargate address by seeing the star patterns in the planet's night sky, and he gave me a chart he said he'd found on an artifact. I gave him the result last night."

"Just hours before he requested he go on this mission?" Jack said angrily. "For crying out loud... do you remember the address?"

"Yes, Sir..."

"Then dial it," he snapped. "I think I can guess where he's gone, and I'll be damned if I let him commit suicide on my watch."

"I am sorry, O'Neill," Teal'c said, coming to Jack's side as Carter hurried to the DHD. "I was not as watchful as I should have been."

"It's not your fault, T," Jack assured him. "Nobody was expecting Daniel to go Rambo all of a sudden."

Teal'c cocked his head and raised an eyebrow, but Jack just waved him off. "Ask me later," he said. "Let's just find Daniel and drag his ass home."

Jack wasn't sure what sight would meet him on the other side of the gate as he stepped through a moment later - he was half expecting to find Daniel shot dead two feet away, with zombies crowded around him ready to make him their next meal - but what he did see somehow managed to come as a surprise. Flowers were blooming, birds were singing, a soft breeze was blowing... it was a peaceful, sunny day on planet Living Dead. Not exactly his first guess.

He could see the so-called science lab a short distance away, but there was no sign of Daniel. "Looks like he's already inside," he said. "Carter, I want you to head back to the SGC, let them know where we are. Bring backup."

Carter looked worried, but she gave him a hasty, "Yes, Sir," and trotted over to the DHD.

Jack patted Teal'c on the arm. "Let's go," he said. He started to lead the way, but then stopped and said significantly, "Let's hold off on shooting to kill until we know what we're into here."

Teal'c nodded, and fell into step behind him as they hurried towards the compound.

They reached the backdoor of the place in less than a minute, and were greeted by the sight of one of the aliens lying unconscious in the doorway. The sliding doors were trying to close on its middle, making it seem all the more gruesome. Jack gritted his teeth and motioned grimly for Teal'c to drag the alien out of the way and tie it up. He was just glad Daniel hadn't outright killed it.

Once alien #1 was secure, they entered the building and nearly tripped over alien #2. By the looks of this one's bloody face, Jack could see that Daniel meant business.

Well, it just so happened that Jack meant business, too.

He kept his eyes peeled while Teal'c tied that one up, but although the corridor they were in was fairly long, he couldn't see or hear anybody anywhere nearby. He figured that either meant Daniel had knocked them all out already, or this was some kind of holiday on Zombie World.

They were soon moving again, peeking through the windows of the rooms they passed, and aimlessly making their way through the corridors. Jack had just started to despair of ever finding Daniel in this maze when he heard a sound coming from a nearby room with an open door.

He pressed his back against the wall and motioned for Teal'c to do the same. Then he slowly poked his head around the doorframe, clutching his P-90 tightly as he braced himself for what he'd find.

What he found was a weapon pointed right at his face.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

To be continued...