N/A: Currently I am working on two other Naruto fics, Calling all Ninjas and The Konoha Karaoke Bar. So if you want to read some more abstract craziness from me read my other fics. That's all.

Episode 8

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Shino ran around the Naruto set carrying his machine gun and drenching random people. He stopped and looked around for someone to splash with holy water. Then he saw her. She was sitting just sitting there, so unaware of what he was doing. An evil smiled spread across Shino's face as he tip-toed slowly to his next victim. He fixed his machine gun on her and pressed the trigger.

Temari threw her magazine the air, backflipped out of her chair, and landed kneeling on the floor behind her chair. The spray of water missed her head by inches. "What do you think your doing?" She asked angrily as she stared at him narrow-eyed.

Shino stood straight and fixed his glasses. "'There are vampires on the Naruto set. I'm hunting to see if anyone here is one." She stared hard and Temari. He had bad feeling about her.

Temari stood up, while continuing to glare at Shino. "Well, I'm not one so why don't you go bother someone else."

Now he was positive. "Liar! You are a vampire!" Without a second thought Shino sent another spray of holy water towards the "vampire".

Temari jumped out of the way just in time. She was kneeling on the floor with her head down. As she lifted her head she smiled evilly at Shino. "How did you ever know?" With that fangs grew out of Temari's mouth. She licked her lips and picked herself off the floor.

"You'll never make me surrender my toothbrush!" Shino yelled. He got ready to send the third spray of water when he couldn't move. He tried to move but his body just wouldn't obey. "What did you do to me you dirty vampire!"

Temari just laughed evilly at him. "I thought you knew everything about us. Remember we have special mind control powers. Now I control your body!"

"Well what are you going to do to me now?" He yelled hysterically as he tried to move.

Temari continued to smile evilly at her victim. "The worst thing imaginable."

Suddenly Shino felt a strange sensation going through his body. It was moving by itself. Shino stared at his body in horror he was doing something so horrible words couldn't describe it. "Noooooooooooooooooooo!" Shino screamed. He put his left foot in. He put his left foot out. He put his left foot in and shaked it all about. He was doing the hokey pokey and he turned himself around. That was what it was all about.

Meanwhile...

Sakura and Itachi made their way to Sasuke's dressing room. Then she saw it. It was horrible. Sasuke was standing outside his door. His face. His face was smeared with black.

Sakura made her way to him wide eyed. "Sasuke. If I had known then maybe I would have been a lot nicer to know. Why didn't you tell me!" She wrapped her arms around Sasuke and held him tightly.

Sasuke stood in complete shock. Had it worked? Was it his new eyebrows? What the heck was Sakura talking about? "Sakura...I..." He tried to speak but the words just wouldn't come out.

Sakura looked up with tears in her eyes. "Sasuke why didn't you tell you were dying!"

"I'm dying?" Sasuke asked surprised. Then he looked at his right hand. His hand was covered in black eyeliner. When Shino had soak him he had used his hand to wipe his face. The eyeliner must have smudged in when he wiped his face.

"If I only knew that you were dying from some incurable disease I would have been glad to run lines with you." Sakura exclaimed.

This is what he wanted wasn't it? He wouldn't let this chance slip by. He looked down Sakura sorrowfully. (Insert some sad corny music) "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to make you worry about me." He exclaimed dramatically as he looked into her eyes as she held her hand.

Suddenly Itachi grabbed his little brother and hugged him tightly. Tears were streaming down his face. "Sasuke! Why didn't you tell me about this!" Itachi was hugging Sasuke so tightly that he was having a hard time breathing.

"Too tight. Too tight." Sasuke managed to choke out. If Itachi wouldn't let go soon Sasuke would really be dead.

Finally Itachi released Sasuke. Sasuke placed his hands on his chest and tried to regulate his breathing. "You idiot." Sasuke coughed out.

"Oh no! Sasuke's having a hard time breathing." Sakura exclaimed in horror. "Here this will help!" He pulled Kakashi's cranberry juice out her pocket. Quickly she took of the cork and forced the strange liquid into Sasuke's mouth. After almost being choked to death there was little Sasuke could do to stop Sakura from pouring the strange liquid in his mouth.

"What the..." Sasuke started to feel a strange dizzy feeling and a strange warm sensation flowed throughout his entire body. His head was feeling light and he was starting to lose his balance. The world around him was spinning and everything looked blurry. What had Sakura made me drink? This was the last thing on Sasuke's mind before he feel into blackness.

Somewhere at the other side of the Naruto set...

There she was. Naruto stood watching her. Hinata was standing next to Tenten drinking an ice mocha. They were both staring down at a panting Neji and having a conversation.

Now all he had to remember was what Gai-sensei had told him earlier. What was it again? Something about grasshoppers in the winter that were returning to the place called home. No that wasn't right. It was people who are touched that search or grains in the south. That wasn't it either. It was about Sparrows hopping through fields trying to understand the great wonder of life. That was about right. Naruto summoned all his courage and approached Hinata.

"...umm...H-hi...Hinata..." Naruto announced in an extremely high girl voice.

Hinata and Tenten turned around at the greeting. When Hinata saw it was Naruto, she smiled to greet him. "Hello, Naruto. Wasn't there something that you had to tell me earlier?"

Naruto felt his hear beating faster and his mouth start to dry up. But this was his chance. His moment to tell Hinata what he really felt for her. All he had to do was remember what Gai-sensei said and everything would be all right. "Well...ummm...grasshoppers...returning to the place called home...and uh...trying to understand the wonder of life...uh...sparrows..." Naruto exclaimed incoherently.

Hinata and Tenten stared at Naruto blankly. What the heck was Naruto saying. "Maybe we should get Shikamaru to help us again." Tenten whispered to Hinata.

Hinata shot an "Are you crazy!" look at Tenten. Tenten just shrugged then decided that watching Neji panting was more interesting than listening to Naruto babble nonsense.

"I'm sorry...it was just that Gai-sensei...ummm advice...then you and I here...me...uh snow melts..." Naruto tired to apologize but again he had trouble forming complete sentences.

When will Shino stop dancing the Hokey Pokey? Will Sasuke die? Will Naruto be able to pull himself together?

Tune in next time...