Hey, Prongs. How did it go when you asked Lily to Hogsmeade?

Don't expect much, Moony. Evans is a heart crushing girl.

She said no. With a particular snap this time. "POTTER! ENOUGH! WHEN WILL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL THAT I WILL NOT GO OUT WITH YOU!"

I don't know why you waste your time with her, Prongs. There are so many better-

Do NOT say that there are better girls than Evans. There aren't. I wonder why she hates me so much.

Well…there are a few…obvious reasons.

What do you mean?

What Moony is trying to get through your "thick skull" is that you are way too conceited for Evans.

CONCEITED! This is coming from PADFOOT?

Hey! I like you just fine the way you are. Evans is the one with issues.

Maybe you should try to be more respectful when you are around her…instead of calling her "Evans," call her Lily. Don't gloat about your quidditch abilities, and do not flip Snape upside down, no matter how funny it may be.

OI! Don't listen to him, Prongs. Hexing Snivelly is necessary for our survival.

Do whatever you wish, Prongs. I suppose you will just have to choose between Lily and tormenting Snape.

Tough decision. Hey! What is Pettigrew doing over there with CRABBE?

I dunno…you reckon he's moved on?

WHAT? From the infamous marauders? Definitely not.

QUICK! MCGONNAGALL'S SPOTTED US! BACK TO YOUR WORK!

Hey. What are you three doing?

I'm TRYING to get them to do their work. Help me, Wormtail?

Er…they can copy off of mine?

Why do I even try?

What the hell were you doing over there with Crabbe, Wormtail?

I…uh…he wanted to know if it was you two who stuffed dungbombs into the slytherin common room entrance.

Ahh….that was quite enjoyable.

Yeah…watching the Slytherins gag and scream like little girls….

Good times.

So what did you say when he asked you that, Wormtail?

I told him that you two were good people who would never do something like that.

I'm sure he bought that.

Next time, Wormtail, make it more convincing?

I'm sorry! I thought it was a good excuse!

Whoa. Wormtail. You are getting my shirt all wet.

S-S-S-S-SORRY!

AARGH! GET OFF ME!

We're helping Moony with his…er…furry little problem tonight, Wormtail. You coming?

Of Course! If you three will let me…

Come off it, Wormtail. Of course we will. Honestly! You are so sensitive!

Oooooooooh, Moony! Do my eyes deceive me or were you just staring longingly at Ella Johnson?

Ahhh, young love.

Shut up.

Oooooooo, it IS true! You loooooooooooove Johnson, don't you?

No, I do not. Now leave me alone so I can do my work.

Ask her to Hogsmeade!

Yeah! You have nothing to lose! Really! When she declines, I'll set you up with someone else….

That is very encouraging. Thanks, Padfoot.While we're on the subject, what about YOU, hmmm? Who are you asking to Hogsmeade?

Hmmm…probably Clearwater. We'll have a lot of fun together at Zonkos.

How do you know she will accept?

Prongs. It is ME, Sirius Black. No woman can refuse me!

Then what are you waiting for? Ask her right now!

Fine.

Wow. He's really walking over to her.

Why is it he can get any girl he wants?

Because he is Sirius Black…also known as the best snogger at Hogwarts amongst the girls.

Why do you look so smug, Padfoot?

HA. I told you no woman could refuse me.

I'm assuming she accepted?

Of course she did.

I hate my life.

Ahh, do not worry, young grasshopper. I will take you under my wing, and guide you in the fine art of women.

I'm looking forward to it.