A double date requirement and an obvious Stan/Wendy set-up. Can anyone say "text-book"? I am such a dork when it comes to romance. I was infantile in my writing. It was much too structured. Like I was following a guide to writing fluff.

I really do like how Wendy is written though, just a tad bitchy.

Main Pair: Stan/Wendy

Pairings: Kyle/Bebe, Cartman/OC

South Park © Trey Parker & Matt Stone

Chapter 5: Double or Nothing…

A hard knock resounded throughout the Stevens' household. Casually flipping her blonde locks from her face, Bebe hopped off of her cushy red couch to answer it.

Bebe opened the door to find an excited Luffy, and annoyed Wendy. Bebe giggled at the sight of Wendy, being lead along like a dog by the hand. Wendy was obviously not too happy about being carted around by this flirtatious girl.

"Come in you guys…" Bebe ushered the girls in roughly. Releasing Wendy's hand from her grip, Luffy surveyed Bebe's home. She grinned and turned to Bebe.

"Nice digs," she smiled playfully and seated herself on Bebe's couch. "What do you want to start with?" she asked.

"I don't know, you're the expert." Bebe answered.

Wendy rolled her violet eyes, "This is so juvenile." She muttered.

"Hey!" Bebe countered "Just because you're pissed off that you dumped Stan for Token, then broke up with him doesn't mean that I can't find love!" Wendy blushed angrily glaring at Bebe.

"H—how dare you!?" she snarled. "You're such a BITCH!" she screeched. She stopped at the sound of giggling. She and Bebe turned to find Luffy, a hand clamped over her mouth, shaking with laughter. "What's so funny!?" Wendy snapped.

"You two." Luffy replied, still giggling, "It's just so funny. You're obviously in love with Stan and Bebe's just… well… funny." The girls raised their eyebrows. Wendy lowered hers into a glare.

"I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH STAN!" She growled.

Luffy rolled her eyes and hopped off the couch. "We're gonna have to pick out clothes for your—"Luffy was cut off when Mrs. Stevens entered the room.

"Hello?" Mrs. Stevens inquired the girls. "Bebe honey, who's this?" she gestured to Luffy, who had an overly polite smile plastered on her face.

"This is Luffy Davinport, Mom." Bebe replied. "She's new in our class."

"Oh," Mrs. Stevens beamed, "and what are you girls doing?"

"I've got a date on Saturday." Bebe answered. Her mother's eyebrows rose.

"A date huh?" she asked, her pleasant attitude vanished. "With whom?"

"Kyle Broflovski …" Bebe responded cautiously. Her mother's eyebrows rose so high, they disappeared into her hairline.

"The little Jewish boy?" she bit her lip. "I will only allow you to go on one condition…"

Bebe shivered "What?"

"It has to be a double date. Take Wendy with you." Mrs. Stevens gestured to Wendy, who looked horrified. Bebe's mouth dropped.

"MOM!" Bebe shouted "Wendy can't go! She's got a guy she's in love with! She can't just go on dates with OTHER GUYS!" Wendy glared it her curly haired friend. Then turned to Mrs. Stevens.

"Seeing as I am "unattached" I shall go and keep an eye on Bebe." Wendy said coolly, ice crystals catching on every word. Bebe sighed and nodded. Mrs. Stevens smiled, and then left the room.

Luffy, who had been silent, turned to Bebe and Wendy. "So I need to pick out two outfits then?" she grinned. Bebe let her face break into a small smile. Wendy, who obviously still didn't approve of this "double date," glowered.

- 0 -

Meanwhile, at Kyle's abode, Stan and the Broflovski family were enjoying a 'delicious' meal of messuganah and motsa balls. Kyle hadn't touched his food, due to nervousness of the upcoming weekend.

"Kyle?" Mrs. Broflovski asked, putting down he fork, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Stan knew this was his opportunity to get back at Kyle for the entire situation, for bringing Wendy back into his life. He grinned. "Well Mrs. Broflovski, Kyle has a date with Bebe Stevens on Saturday!" Kyle dropped his fork, it hit his plate with a clatter, but he didn't care, he turned to Stan. A look of pure exasperation bled from his eyes, Stan could only snicker.

"Kyle? Is this true?" she asked. Her son's increase in color was answer enough.

"Well, I think that's just great!" Mr. Broflovski smiled at his son, and then turned to his wife.

"Ah bo ba ba!" Ike interjected.

"Exactly Ike," Mrs. Broflovski agreed, "I think Kyle's too young to go out on a date alone, he needs to bring Stan with him."

"WHAT!?" Stan and Kyle shouted the question, or rather, spat it out so harshly Mrs. Broflovski flew back a few feet.

"I'm not going to change my mind, if Stan doesn't go, Kyle doesn't go!" Mrs. Broflovski snapped. And of course, as we all know by now, Kyle's mom is a bitch and her mind cannot be changed… unless you want your face rearranged.

[AN: HAHAHAHA THAT RHYMED!]

"Stan'd love to go, wouldn't ya Stan?" Kyle glared at Stan. This was his fault in the first place… HE SHOULD SUFFER! And by look on his face… he was. Kyle felt a slight twinge of joy.

Stan sighed and glared at Kyle. "Fine!"

Mrs. Broflovski grinned and clapped her hands together once. "Great!" Kyle and Stan glowered at her with looks that obviously said that this whole situation wasn't so great.

"I'm done," Kyle pushed is motsa balls away from him and stood up.

"Me too." Stan agreed; his voice came out harsher than he had meant is to sound. Stan threw his napkin down on his plate and pushed his chair out.

Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski watched their receding backs as the two boys stomped up the stairs, bickering quietly. As soon as the boys disappeared into Kyle's room with the slam of a door, Mr. Broflovski turned to glare at his wife.

"Sheila!" he snapped, "That wasn't a good idea! Who the hell is Bebe supposed to bring?! Wendy!? Don't you keep up with the situations at all? Wendy broke up with Stan! And what if Bebe doesn't bring anyone? Poor Stan will be the third wheel! Are you crazy?! What do you think they're gonna do?! HAVE SEX!? I'm sure Kyle could've handled it on his own." Mr. Broflovski panted as he ended his rant.

"Jesus, Gerald! Settle down!" Mrs. Broflovski barked out the order. Mr. Broflovski cowered under the power his wife was generating. It was hard for him to say it aloud, but Gerald Broflovski was afraid of his wife. But, who wouldn't be? Sheila Broflovski was a short, loud, powerful, Jewish woman. Who wouldn't be terrified of her?

An uncomfortable silence was broken by Ike; who took it upon himself to state the obvious. "Ma ma, bo Da da… ba bo stoopid." His parents glared at him.

- 0 -

Stan sat on Kyle's bed, knees drawn to his chest, glowering at his friend, who was pacing the room. Stan sighed loudly, in an annoyed voice. Kyle ignored him and continued to pace. Stan sighed louder, in an even more annoyed tone. Kyle continued to pay no attention to him. Stan glared and threw a Terrance plushie at Kyle's head.

"Ouch!" Kyle was knocked out of his dream world by the small brown haired doll. "Damn it Stan, what was that about!?"

"I don't wanna do this Kyle, I'm going to be the third wheel." Stan grumbled, pulling his knees tighter to his chest.

"No, I'm calling Bebe, she'll bring someone with her." Kyle said.

"Yeah?" Stan snarled sarcastically, "And who do you think that'll be? Who's her best friend in the entire world? Who does she eat lunch with everyday? Who-" Kyle waved Stan off.

"You know you wanna go with Wendy anyway." Kyle said as he picked up the phone. Stan opened his mouth, but he knew Kyle was right. He did want to go with Wendy, but Wendy would rather rip off all her toenails one-by-one with needle-nose pliers than go with him.

Stan watched as Kyle dialed the numbers. He felt the familiar twinge in his stomach. He swallowed the vomit that always seemed to creep up his throat whenever Wendy was mentioned.

Kyle put down the phone and pressed Speaker Phone. They were both silent as the low ring resounded throughout the bedroom. A sudden click made them both perk up.

"Heyo?" A voice that was neither Bebe's nor Wendy's, suddenly, Kyle recognized it.

"You're that new girl! What are you—" Kyle began, but Luffy cut him off.

"My name's Luffy, Kyle!" she giggled, "Glad you remembered me. Bebe and Wendy are indisposed right now. Girl stuff." More giggles. "I'm getting them ready for their dates… OH!" Kyle and Stan jumped back as Luffy yelped. "Bebe didn't tell you!" Luffy stressed, mumbling to herself. "Mrs. Stevens said that it had to be a double date, and Wendy volunteered to go with her."

Stan's stomach jumped. Her burped slightly. "Volunteered!?" he shouted in glee. Kyle eyed him, and he shrunk back into himself, blushing ferociously.

A torrent of giggles burst from Luffy's end, "Yeah, Stan! She volunteered; I honestly can tell you so." Kyle could hear that toothy grin of hers in her voice.

"Yeah," Kyle continued from where he was so rudely interrupted. "anyway, my 'rents said it had to be a double date too, and I'm bringing—"

"STAN!" Luffy's end of the line shook with excitement. "I know! I mean, who else would you bring!? WHEEEEE! This is going to be awesome!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Stan couldn't help asking, "Are you on a sugar high?"

"YES I AM!" Luffy shrieked. "Anyway, on Saturday, show up at Bebe's at 5:00 P.M. I'll have them ready by then. Bring Cartman or you don't get the girls." Her voice turned considerably darker than her usual bright tone.

"Is that a threat?" Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow that Luffy couldn't see. He took his index finger and swirled it in a circle at the side of his left, green earflap.

"Yes, yes it is." Luffy said. "Okay, I gotta go—AH! BEBE! NO! THE WAX IS TOO HOT! DON'T THROW IT OVER HERE! SHIT!" There was a dial tone. Stan and Kyle stared at the machine for another ten seconds before Kyle clicked it off.

"Wow…" Stan said finally. "Cartman's got himself a live wire."

"No," Kyle sneered. "He's got himself a sugar addicted psychopathic weirdo!" They laughed; their hostile feelings towards each other forgotten. For the time being…