A very short chapter. This consists of a lot of fashion. Looking back I am unsure if I like the final outfits, but whatever. I am too lazy to waste my time re-writing this story when I have "Salty Kisses" and "Yours, Mine, & Ours" to work on.

Main Pair: Stan/Wendy

Pairings: Kyle/Bebe, Cartman/OC

South Park © Trey Parker & Matt Stone

Chapter 7: Dress for Success (But Don't Look Gay)

"Come out," Luffy called to Kyle's closet, lazily pushing herself back into Cartman, as though he was a mobile pillow. When Cartman didn't object, she didn't move. Instead, Cartman decided to join her in shouting.

"Yeah, come on out you gay wads! Or are you pulling a Tom Cruise in that closet!?" Cartman bellowed through the closet door, cupping his hands around her mouth.

Luffy giggled dismissively; she obviously was completely oblivious to Cartman's rude nature. And if she was aware, she didn't give a shit. "Just come on out," Luffy sighed, popping a coffee bean into her mouth from the can beside her.

"Fine, but I feel gay," Kyle said, pushing open the closet door to reveal himself and Stan. Kyle was in a tightly fitted Hawaiian T-shirt and blue spandex shorts. He blushed at the exposure. Kyle clenched his eyes closed; absentmindedly pushing down his crimson fro.

Stan was another story entirely. He was in a tight, silvery shirt that would have looked at home on Professor Chaos and black leather hot pants. He couldn't have looked any more like Michael Jackson if he'd tried.

When Kyle opened his eyes he found Luffy and Cartman sitting up. There cheeks red from repressed laughter.

A dam broke loose. Laughs loud enough to make Stan and Kyle cower exploded from the two on the bed. Eventually, Cartman fell off the bed and began pounding the floor; while Luffy clutched her stomach in pain from overusing her diaphragm.

"Please…oh seriousla'… jeezus." He wheezed, his pounding of the floor becoming less harsh as he ran out of air and flopped down on his stomach; still shaking with silent laughter.

"Go… back… in… the… closet!" Luffy panted, clutching her stomach, pointing her free hand at Kyle's closet. She was smart enough to know that if they didn't remove those clothes, and quick, she wouldn't stop laughing.

Kyle and Stan obliged immediately, not wanting to be embarrassed any further, after all, Cartman had been known to post humiliating Polaroids of them on the internet. Stan slammed the closet door and there was a lot of shuffling.

Cartman was half-tempted to make a gay comment about the noises coming from the closet, but he happened to be dining on a Snacky Smore and didn't want to waste the time. Luffy didn't bother either, since it in fact, didn't occur to her in the first place, not being inclined to pick out being gay as something to poke fun at… but that's not important!

- 0 -

After about fifteen minutes of changing, in which Stan had to come out of the actual closet and have all three of the his friends help him tug off his skin tight pants. The boys finally came out again, wearing another set of outfits Luffy had chosen for them.

Even Cartman was quiet.

Luffy grinned. "You look fantastic." She breathed, amazed at her own sense of fashion and how handsome her new friends looked.

Kyle wore a tight fitting, tapered orange shirt with a silky green tie. He also sported green girl's jeans that made his ass look taught and toned. Kyle adjusted the forest green hat he'd only worn once before for the brief time that he was meterosexual. He smiled, viewing himself in the mirror.

Stan pushed his black hair back and pulled up his baggy, but not oversized, blue jeans. He also wore a brown, frayed vest over a red shirt. He tugged on his fingerless brown gloves and pushed up his usual hat. Stan grinned, thanking Luffy and posing for himself in the mirror next to Kyle.

"You're gonna knock 'em dead!" Luffy beamed. "Good luck." She hugged them both; and noticing, to her pleasure, that Cartman looked extremely jealous, so she attacked him in a hug.

"Thanks." Kyle said. "Now before this gets too sappy and I get annoyed with you, get out of my house!"

Luffy smirked. "Can do…"