Kevin the Comforter Chapter Four – The Calm and the Furious

Takes place later the same Saturday as chapter 3 does.

Setting- the Girardi's kitchen around 5:30

Helen gets up from the pillow on the floor and heads for the kitchen in order to make dinner. Remembering her assignment from God, Joan reluctantly gives up her spot on the couch and follows her mother into the kitchen. Helen bumps into Joan, as she takes a skillet out off one of the lower cabinets. She's truely surprised to find herself in the company of her daughter.

"Joan, if you are getting a drink, get it and be off, so we don't have to keep bumping into one another!" Helen says a bit annoyed.

"Um, mom I was wondering, if I could help you, maybe cut something?" Joan replies a bit sheepishly, as she realizes she hardly knows what it takes to make a hot meal.

"Oh you want to help me out, that's a welcoming change!" Helen replies unbelievingly.

"Mom I'm serious, I wanna help you make dinner!" Joan says, with a pleading look.

Sighing Helen says "Oh wel, there's a cutting board in the left top drawer, you can use that one to cut some carrots, peppers and peel the potatoes that are in this bag."

"Wow, all these potatoes! This must be at least 10 pounds worth!" Joan exclaimes as she lifts it onto the kitchen table, where she has set up her 'work spot'.

"Actually that's only 8 pounds worth, but if it's too much for you, I'll do it myself." Helen says giving Joan an 'I-told-you-so' look.

"It's not that I won't do it, I'm just making sure you, oh never mind, I'm just babbeling."

With that Joan starts to peel a big almond shaped potato.

Helen can't help but feeling some pride, as she casts a side way glance at her daughter sitting there with consentration wrinkels on her forehead, as she struggles with an odd shaped potato.

As this is only like the fifth time in her life, that Joan is peeling potatoes, it doesn't come easy to her and she curses God underneath her breath with gritted teeth, for putting her up to this.

As Joan is about to start peeling her third potato, Rebecca joins them, wondering if she can be of any assistance. After Helen gives her a cutting board and a carrot peeler, Rebecca joins Joan at the kitchen table and starts to peel the carrots. Joan looks at her in awe, as Rebecca peels one carrot after the other with long smooth effortless moves, making Joan's potato peeling skills look rather clumsy and feeblish, still she carries on, not wanting to admit that she feels expandible at the moment.

Helen notices that Joan is comparing her work to Rebecca's and doesn't like what she sees, as Joan's face looks rather flushed and wears a bit of a lost expression, therefor she walks up behind her daughter and gives her shoulder a friendly comforting rub, before she walks over to Rebecca and scrapes the peeled carrots off of the cutting board into a skillet and brings it back to the stove.

Her mother's sign of affection cuts two ways with Joan's emotions, firstly it gives her a good feeling as her mother is appriciating her help and then it dawns on her, that her mother rubbed her shoulder in pity, as she can see that she isn't doing all that great a job peeling the darn potatoes, no matter how much effort she puts into it.

Rebecca finishes cutting the peppers and offers to help Joan peel the rest of the potatoes, it's an offer which Joan first wants to decline, then thinking of how long it would take her to peel the other half and how late dinner would be ready, she inclines with a smile in Rebecca's direction. Soon after, all the potatoes left in the bag are peeled, Joan produces a great sigh of relief, as her mother adds them to the awaiting boiling water. Helen thanks the two girls for their help, tells them to go ahead and relax until she calls them all to dinner.

Setting- Joan's room around 6:05

Joan goes upstairs to rinse the chlorine from the swimming pool out of her bathing suit and towel, having done that, she lies down on her bed and reluctantly starts reading 'Of Mice and Men' by John Steinbeck, which is a part of the Sophomore English curriculum. The first chapter is a bit hard for her to get into, after that she is captured by Steinbeck's unusual, yet captivating way with words. She's so into the book, that Helen has to call her three times, before she answers and puts the book down.

Setting- the Girardi's kitchen round about 6:30

As Joan sits down at the table Helen passes her an questioning glance, as to say 'what took you so long to answer me'. Joan ignores it and scoops some stew onto her plate as she's ravenous after such an active day.

Helen lets her off the hook, though Kevin doesn't, as he's a bit worried about her, therefor he curiously inquires, "Joan, you okay? I mean it's not that I'm concerned or anything like that, but you not answering, the first time anyone calls you for a meal, is a bit odd!"

Joan sticks out her tongue at him and replies "For your info, I was reading an assigned book for English."

"That must have been some book, if you didn't hear mom call you before the third time!" Kevin replies with a smile, slightly amused as it is an answer he would expect from Luke, not Joan.

"I was reading 'Of Mice and Men' by John Steinbeck, a book which is mandatory to pass Sophomore English, which you probably had Luke read and review so you could play base ball instead!" Joan replies snappishly.

The moment she says it she regrets it, but it is too late, she sees how Kevin goes pale, the twinkle in his eyes subsides into oblivion and the perky expression on his face is substituted by one of utter anguish, in the wink of an eye.

Without saying anything, Kevin releases the brakes on his chair, pushes himself away from the table and heads towards the stairs.

Joan gets up from the table in a hurry, the momentum of her movement causing her chair to tip over backwards and land on the floor with a bang. With a clumsy leap she jumps over it and rushes over to Kevin, which is just about to transfer into the chair lift."Kevin, I'm so so sorry! That was so mean and unfair of me! Please return to the table, I'll leave instead!" Joan pleads with Kevin. Not awaiting his answer, Joan runs up the stairs and locks herself in her room. Instead of returning to the table, Kevin wheels himself into the garage, seeking a bit of distraction he works on the boat.

The four left at the table watch and listen to this dumbfoundedly, as they are too astonished by Joan's hatefull remark to react at once. Will is the first one to regain his sences, with brisk steps he walks up to Joan's room and knocks on her door, demanding her to let him in. Once inside, he graps her by her arm and drags her into a standing postion. For the first time in her life, Joan is afraid of her father as she's never seen, or felt his anger like this before. Oh, had she ever messed up! Kevin had expressed concern for her, what did he get in return, a really mean and hurtfull remark, which Joan knew would hit his sore spot! If she had only thought before she spoke, then everybody would still be sitting around the table enjoying the meal, Kevin would still be in a great mood and she wouldn't have to face her angry dad.

Setting- Joan's room approximately 6:40 p.m.

"Joan, what in the world were you thinking when you said that to Kevin! For the first time in two years, he was so darn happy that we were able to hear his hearty laughter and what do you do, give him a totally uncalled for emotional blow! You know Joan, Kevin was really concerned, when you didn't answer your mom's first two calls, if you hadn't answerd that third call, he would have taken the effort to go up stairs to check on you! You just don't realize how much he cares about you, do you! He would give his life for you, just like that!"- Will snaps his fingers to emphasize his point.

Joan looks down, too ashamed to face her furious dad, as she remembers the sudden change in color and expression on Kevin's face, a change which she caused with her far from harmless remark! She knows her dad is right, she was totally out of bounce!

Like a movie, all the times that Kevin stood up for her when she was bullied as a kid passes by, the last episode that goes through her mind is one, that just took place at the beginning of last month, she had been walking home from school, when two guys, one blond, one dark haired, approximately in their mid-twenties had tagged at her bag with such force that she had fallen onto the ground. The blond one was about to kick her in the stomach, when Kevin appeared seemingly out of nowhere and had given the guy a side way push with his wheel chair, which had thrown him off balance, giving Joan enough time to get back on her feet. As Kevin gave the blond guy a push which landed him on the ground, the dark haired guy had tried to kick Kevin's leg in order to tip him over, only Kevin had been too quick for him and had ran over his left foot with his massive front wheels over and over, until he was hopping around on his right foot and had yelled for his friend, to help him escape the crippled lunatic!

As the two guys had made themselves scarse, Joan had hopped onto Kevin's lap crying, as she realized he had come to her rescue at the right time, or the guys would have beaten her up, she too did realize, that they could have beaten up Kevin as well, and had told him that it was foolish of him to put himself in danger like that. Kevin had replied, that if he had to, he would fight until his last breath, if by doing so he could save her!

Remembering the times Kevin had come to her rescue and him declaring he would give his life for her's, Joan breaks down crying remoursfully.

"Now what do you have to say for yourself Joan?" Will asks his daughter, looking her straight into the eyes, his anger has grown instead of subsiding since he entered her room, as she fell silent on him instead of explaining why she made that remark.

"Poor Kevin! I... I'm so ashamed... of myself, I... was so mean... to him...and that while he's so... sweet... to me...! Joan utters between sobs, leaning against her closet for support, as her knees are shaking too vigorously for her to stand on her own.

Setting- the Girardi's garage around 6:45 p.m.

Just after he hears his father run up the stairs, Kevin hears a chair being pulled away from the tabel, soon after there's a soft knock on the garage door, somehow he knows it's Rebecca, in a soft voice he tells her to enter. It's indeed Rebecca. She's shocked, as she sees the agonized expression upon his pale, tear streaked face and seats herself on his lap, embracing him in a big hug, stroking his hair in comfort. Rebecca is pleased to feel, that Kevin draws her nearer to him, instead of pushing her away, as she is a bit uncertain of his reaction to her sudden sign of affection. Eventhough Kevin stopped crying before Rebecca enters the garage, his body is still shaking with emotion and Rebecca pulls herself out of the embrace, in order to look him in the eye. Concern sounds through in her voice, as she inquires how he's feeling.

"None too hot Rebecca. Joan really got to me this time. That remark hit me right in the guts. Okay, it's no big secret that Luke did a lot of school work for me, so that I indeed could spend more time on the field, but she didn't have to say it in such a mean, rub-it-in way and she knows that not being able to play base ball, is the hardest thing for me to deal with, next to not being able to walk!" Kevin replies looking down, as he doesn't want to show Rebecca how badly he's actually hurting. Rebecca senses this and proceeds asking him questions, as she wants him to show his feelings, thinking it'll make him feel better.

"Um, is this an interregation Rebecca or do you feel like I have to talk, to get things out of my system?" Kevin says in reaction to Rebecca's numerous questions.

"I'm impressed Kevin at how fast you catch on! I do indeed think, that talking will help you sort out and deal with your emotions. Is that so wrong?" Rebecca replies looking at Kevin, trying to sense how far she can go before he distanciates himself from her and becomes introvert, in order to 'protect' himself from her dragging all those mixed hurt feelings out of him, thus making him deal with it there and then.

"Rebecca, I appriciate you wanting to help me, but please no more questions. I'll deal with my feelings, no matter how hurtfull they are, only not right now, okay?" Kevin says pleadingly.

Taking his hand, Rebecca says, "Okay Kevin, I'll let it be. I just wish that I could make things easier for you, that's all."

Kevin looks at Rebecca and manages to sound light-hearted as he says "You coming after me into the garage means a lot to me, as it's a sign that you really do care about me and how I feel, that in itself is very comforting.

Looking at him questioningly, Rebecca says, "Kevin, shouldn't we rejoin the others at the dinner table, just as not to be rude?"

"Yeah, I guess so, though I have to admit that I'm no longer hungry!" Kevin replies.

Setting- the Girardi's kitchen- 7:00 p.m.

Helen and Luke both look relieved, when Rebecca followed by Kevin enters the kitchen and then reseats themselves at the table. Helen offers to heat up their plates in the microwave, Rebecca doesn't decline her offer, like Kevin does, as she's still rather hungry only having eaten two pieces of French-toast all day. Helen disregarding Kevin's wish, puts the heated plate infront of him and demands him to eat, in order to keep strong and healthy. Playing with his stew Kevin looks at Rebecca, which has resumed eating with a good appetite.

Rebecca notices him looking at her instead of eating and says, "Kevin, you better eat something or you're gonna be so weak tomorrow, that I'll have to help you out of bed!" Teasingly she adds: "I bet, you don't won't that to happen!"

Jokingly Kevin replies; "No, I indeed don't want you, or any one else for that matter, helping me out of bed! Now, get off my case and I'll 'shove' some stew down my throat!"

As Kevin finishes his sentence, Will is decending the stairs looking at Kevin, measuring what damage Joan did to his mental state and mood, he sees that his son's mood has improved, yet he can still detect pain in his eyes. Eventhough Joan is sincerely sorry for what she'd said, Will is still angry at her and not able to forgive her.

As Will takes his seat at the table, Kevin's eyes filled with pain and confusion and Will's filled with anger and pity meet, Will says apologetically, "I'm sorry Kevin for going after Joan instead of you, but this time, I needed to make her aware of her actions and the emotional damage it is causing you!"

"It's okay dad, I understand. Now can we please let the subject rest!" Kevin replies snippily, looking down at his plate, as he doesn't want everybody to see how emotional he is.

Changing the subject, Rebecca asks, "Kevin, what time would you like me to come over tomorrow?"

"Um, I don't know, why don't I call you in the morning and let you know. That okay with you?" Kevin replies thoughtfully.

"Sure, fine with me and Kev, if you don't feel up to it, me visiting I mean, just let me know, I'll understand." Rebecca says smiling assuringly, giving his hand a light squeeze.

Kevin squeezes her hand gently in return. Rebecca looks at him and sees how tired he looks and says; "Kevin, I think I should head on home now. I'll speak to you tomorrow."

"Okay Rebecca, sorry for me not being too hospitable." Kevin says looking a bit ashamed.

Rebecca strokes his shoulder and says tenderly; "Don't worry about it Kevin. For what it's worth, the smile, laughter and that glimmering light in your eyes earlier on today, means a lot to me and it'll keep me coming back, hoping for them to reappear!"

Blushing, Kevin looks at her and Rebecca can't but smile. "Sorry, for now, I can't tell you, when the Kevin you saw this afternoon will reappear." He says looking down, not knowing what to do with his cropped up emotions, which are dying to get out but he won't let them, at least not for the time being, not infront of Rebecca!

"Don't worry about that Kevin, you just take care, promiss me that!" Rebecca says with a note of concern, hugging Kevin good-bye.

"I promiss Rebecca!"

Luke is getting ready to head over to Grace's, on a date to the movies. Rebecca offers him a ride, when she finds out that she practically passes Grace's house on her way home. Luke shyly accepts her offer.

As Rebecca and Luke get their things together, Kevin excuses himself and head up-stairs to his room.

"Mrs. Girardi, thank you so much for dinner, the stew was great!" Looking from Helen to Will she adds, "Kevin's a great guy, I hope you're as proud of him as I am!" Having said that, Rebecca and Luke leave the Girardi's residence and head towards her car.

On their way over to Grace's, Rebecca and Luke display their concern for Kevin and wonder how long it will take him to recouperate from the blow, Joan so unthoughtfully and maliciously gave him.

Setting- Kevin's room round about 7:45 p.m.

After entering his room, Kevin locks the door and transfers into bed, where he lies down on his stomach and burries his head in a pillow, so that if he should cry, no one will hear him. Why, when he is just about to come to terms, with the fact that he isn't able to play base ball any more, does Joan have to bring it up and rip open the wounds that were slowly starting to heal? Why today, while he is almost as happy as before the accident, is something said, that brings him back to reality, the reality he wants to be a dream, but it isn't, as he is wide awake. Well, the upper part of him is awake, the lower part of him isn't and unless a miracle happens, it will never be awake again! Realizing this, lying alone in his room, Kevin pounds his mattress on both sides of his pillow in anger and frustration and let the tears flow freely, letting out feelings he has cropped up for much too long, mostly the feelings have to do with Joan's nasty remark and some have to do with the dealing of other aspects of his 'new' life, as he calls the time after the accident. One other aspects is neglect, as he feels neglected by his 'friends' that not once, have come to visit him after the accident! Also he feels and hates his own insecurity where girls are concerned, as he doesn't know how his body will react to intimacy and he finds it hard to hit on a girl, being in a wheel chair and not exactly the ideal guy to date, which he used to be! Also he feels insecure about his incontinence going anywhere outside the safety of his home, because he might have a mishap and wet himself and be the joke of the town!

Joan's room about 7:50 p.m.

After her dad left her room, Joan is going over what happened in the kitchen over and over again in her mind thinking, what if she had just said this or that instead, how different things would have turned out for all of them. She knows Rebecca and Luke has left, as she heard them say good bye and she heard Kevin come up-stairs and enter his room, locking the door behind him, something which he rarely did and she knows is a bad sign. A sign that he is either depressed, hurt, frustrated or angry and even in some cases, all of the before mentioned all together, which is probably the case now! And she, Joan, is the one who has brought these emotions onto him, this time around! Oh boy, is she ever sorry, but what good does that do Kevin? She hates herself and wishes there is something, she could say or do that will take Kevin's hurt away.

Suddenly Goth God stands before her and says "Joan, thinking about what you can do or say isn't enough, you've gotta take action, or your relationship with Kevin will wither away!"

After he says that, Goth God disappears, leaving Joan stupefied.

Meanwhile in the living room

With Joan and Kevin both up-stairs and Luke out of the house, Helen decides to confront Will about the issue, which Kevin made her aware of earlier that day.

"Will, why don't you and Kevin hang out anymore?" Helen asks her husband casually.

"Why Helen, what do we have in common these days? We certainly can't play base ball together!" Will answers a bit taken aback by Helen's question.

"Will, please there's got to be something you can do together! Why don't you suggest going with him for a walk, drive, grab a bite to eat, or go see a movie you'd both like. Anything, just as long as you hang out with him!" Helen says desperately, pleading with Will.

"Helen, why this great concern all of a sudden, for me to hang out with Kevin, has anything happened, that I don't know about?" Will asks Helen inquisitively.

Informing Will, Helen says, "I had a talk with Kevin earlier today, about how proud I am of him the big comforting brother, the writer and mostly him being our son." As she continues, tears fall from her eyes, "Will, what Kevin said next, really got to me and frankly and sadly, I can't disagree with his interprentation on the matter. He said, that I'd better leave 'our' son out of it, since that he didn't think you were proud of him being our son!"

"What in the world makes him think I'm not proud of him, certainly not his disability I hope!" Will says nervously.

"Well, I'm afraid it does boil down to that Will! He's under the impression that his disability, is what's keeping you from hanging out with him, you being ashamed to be seen with him and you not taking very many pictures of him lately, while you used to drive him crazy taking snap shots of him all the time and showing them off to your friends and colleagues! Will, he isn't seeing ghosts you know, as you haven't spent any time doing things outside the house with him since the accident, what else is he to think!" Helen says a bit accusingly.

"Oh my God, Helen, he's right, not about me being ashamed of him, but I haven't indeed spent time with him, nor taken any snap shots of him since the accident! My goodness, here I just lectured Joan about hurting Kevin's feelings and now you are telling me I'm hurting his feelings too, only not consciously. Helen, you're right, I'll think of something to do just with Kevin, make him feel that I am proud of him, being our son!" Will says a bit ashamed.

Helen smiles at Will and they embrace when Helen says, "Will, please come up with something fast, as the idea that you're ashamed of him and don't accept him, now that he's a paraplegic and not a promissing base ball player, is torturing him!"

"Helen, I'll go up and see if he'll let me into his room. Maybe I can talk him into going with me, for and early walk in the park tomorrow morning.

"Thanks Will, he is hurting now though, so if he doesn't let you in, it's because he's too emotional." Helen says looking at Will.

"I know Helen and if he doesn't let me in now, I'll just give it a shot later on." Will says realizing the seriousness of the matter.

Thinking about what he wants to say to his eldest son, Will gets up and heads up the stairs.

Standing in front of Kevin's room, he gathers himself a bit, before he gives the door a firm rap. He waits but there's no answer from the other side. After giving the door another firm rap, he hears a croaky voice saying "who's there?"

"Son, it's me, may I come in?" Will replies gently.

"Um, dad, can't you come back later, I'd rather be alone right now." Kevin says softly, his voice still croaky.

Setting- Kevin's room around 8:40 p.m.

"I guess our father to son chat can wait for a while." Will replies neutrally. As he is about to walk away from the door, Will hears the familiar sound of his son's wheelchair banging against the bed frame. He waits in anticipation, wondering if Kevin will let him in after all.

He hears the key turn in the lock and the door is opened slowly by Kevin, who's face is pale and draught, eyes are red and his cheeks tear-streaked.

"Dad, I'll let you in, if you don't ask me how I'm feeling, as I really don't wanna get into that right now." Kevin says seriously in a weak, croaky voice.

"I promiss son that I won't get into emotinal stuff, as you have had your share today already!" Will replies looking Kevin straight in the eye.

Kevin moves away from the door and Will enters the room, which is only lit by a bed-side table lamp. After shutting the door, Will feeling a bit akward, as he is impossing on his son's privacy, has a seat on a chair situated next to the bed. Kevin seats himself opposite his father, he too is feeling akward, as he doesn't know what his father means, by a father to son talk and he doesn't feel comfortable with the fact that his dad can see that he's been crying. A few months ago that wouldn't have bothered him, but now he'd rather not let on to others that he does cry ever so often, about the future he has lost and the body he no longer really knows or trusts eventhough it is his, just in an altered state.

Looking at his eldest son with a serious expression, Will says: "Kevin, I just had a talk with your mom, she was under the impression, that you though I was ashamed of you and being seen with you in public, now that you're in a wheel chair and that being the reason why we haven't hung out together since the accident. Well Kevin, I'm neither ashamed of you or being seen with you. In fact I'm really proud of how you are handling yourself and dealing with your disability! Sure you've had rough times and more are likely to follow down the road, but you are stronger than any one of us would have given you credit for, as before the accident everything just came to you so effortlessly and now you even have to struggle to fit into and be accepted by society, you are working, writing great articles" Noticing Kevin's confused expression Will adds: "Yes son, I have read you articles and I am impressed by your choice of words, broad background information and writing skills! To get the information you used, you must have done some research at the library, city hall and visited a few ball games, that would have taken a lot of guts and discipline on your side, which I'm not even sure, that I would have been able to gather if I, had been in your shoes!"By the time Will finishes his speach, his eyes are gleaming with pride. Kevin listens and looks at his dad, for a given moment he is speachless.

When he does speak, his voice is trembling with emotion.

"D, d, dad you really mean that? You're proud of me? Not ashamed? Then why haven't you hung out with me after the accident?" Kevin asks Will, looking at him with a mixture of confusion and suspicion.

"Well Kevin, firstly I actually was afraid of suggesting something at the wrong moment, seeing as you have had a lot of dips the past two years, secondly I wasn't sure of what we could do, that wouldn't disillusion or upset you one way or the other, if it should prove to be out of your capabilities reach, or an establishment should prove to be inaccesible upon arrival." By the time Will is done speaking, tears are running down his cheeks, as he realizes how much Kevin's accident really has influenced their lives, consciously and un-consciously and how close they actually came to loosing Kevin after the accident, as they had been told, that upon arrival in the hospital, their son had one leg in the grave!

Looking at one another, father and son fall into an embrace and both let their tears fall freely, neither is ashamed of showing their emotions, as they are both men and don't have to prove a point, or be strong for anyone at this particular moment.

"Dad, I'm glad we had this talk now! Um, I'm hungry, you wanna go for a drive with me and grab something to eat on the way?" Kevin asks, looking expectantly at Will.

"Yeah, I'm glad too son, I really didn't want you to go on thinking, that I am ashamed of you! I'll take you up on your offer, on one condition, you let me treat you!"

"Well, I actually invited you, but hey, I'll let you have it your way!" Kevin replies jokingly, a small, weak smile appearing on his still pale, though no longer draught face.