Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, and no profit is made from these stories. (But I do have fun writing them: )
A/N: The name 'Turd Ferguson' is taken from a Celebrity Jeopardy sketch on Saturday Night Live. I thought the name was hysterical, and thus had to use it in a fic. Thanks to my housemate for helping me piece this one together.
It had taken Ben several days to perfect his opening statement.
He considered it an important one – of course, all of his cases were important – but this was a particularly heinous crime. Most of the robberies he prosecuted were fueled by greed or desperation, but this one touched on the sadistic.
He paused for dramatic effect, making eye contact with some of the jurors. He would do anything within the reaches of the law to ensure that the defendant was convicted.
"…and the man you see sitting in this courtroom, Mr. Turd Ferguson, didn't stop when he received the two hundred and thirty dollars in the cash register. The money wasn't enough for him, as he then proceeded to shoot the clerk. Not once. Not twice. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, he shot that clerk five times."
Pausing again, he held up the fingers on his right hand for the jury.
"During the course of this trial, the People will show evidence that will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he is indeed responsible for this crime. Thank you."
He again looked at the jury, satisfied with their expressions of horror. He had gotten his point across.
Then he noticed Judge Schreiber's gaping jaw, and Paul struggling to avoid choking on his water.
And it hit him. He had garbled the defendant's name, Fjerd Tergesen.
As he flushed crimson all the way up to his hairline, he realized that Adam had been right all along. This was not going to be an easy trial.
finis