Kevin the Comforter
Chapter 7- Back to Square One
Setting- The Girardi residence, later that SaturdayWhen the Girardis returned home, after picking up Kevin and Joan in the hospital, Will helped a worn out Kevin into bed. He then ordered a pizza dinner, as Helen was too emotional to cook and she didn't trust Joan in the kitchen. Joan couldn't blame her, as once- forgetting that she had pop tarts in the toaster- she had almost burned down the house! As Joan felt the tension, when they ate pizza infront of the TV, she had put another slice onto her plate, excused herself and gone up to her room. After about 10 minutes, there was a knock on her door, it was Helen. Joan had known that she would come up sooner or later to rant on her- she guessed that now, was as good a time as any.
"Joan, we need to have a serious talk about what happened today, which led up to Kevin's…um.. .fall" Helen said, as she gave Joan a sad look.
Sighing Joan said; "You probably couldn't careless right now but I am really sorry for all the pain that I've caused Kevin and the rest of you guys. So rant on me all you like, because I sure deserve it!"
"Well I sure didn't come here to pay you a complementary visit!" Helen replied sarcastically.
Angrily she continued; "Did you think, that because his door wasn't locked you had the right to go in there? Intruding upon his personal space and privacy, you expected him to listen to your feeble excuse? Joan honestly, I thought you were smarter than that." When she looked at Joan, her expression was one of utter disappointment.
Joan felt the tears running down her cheeks- as Helen's words and the fact that she was disappointed in her sunk in.
Sniffling Joan said "Mom, I'm so sorry. I'm just so stupid! Now, I see that following Kevin, was so not the way to mend our relationship! Mom, how- if ever possible, can I make up with Kevin?"
Helen sighed and shook her head sadly before she answered Joan's question. "I guess time heals all wounds… including this one. During the healing time-period however, I wouldn't expect too much friendliness from Kevin. If not entirely necessary- I wouldn't get too close to him if I were you, as the friction already existing between the two of you, is quite enough as it is!"
As Helen spoke, Joan cried her heart out, as she for one- couldn't help thinking about Kevin, which layed on his bed with a broken arm, a broken heart and was dependent on the rest of the family- Secondly she had detected a weary look on Helen's face and realized what agony she had brought to her family- which had already suffered so much since Kevin's accident that it was a wonder, that they functioned as people and as a family. Well the four of them were functioning- as she momentarily found herself to be disfunctioning on all levels.
Helen, made matters worse for Joan emotionally, as she told her that she still loved her- she just wished , that Joan wouldn't be such a troublemaker
Ah duh! That's gotta be the understatement of the century! Joan though to herself.
Helen silently picked up the plate, with the half eaten pizza slice on it and left Joan's room.
As she sat in voluntary silence and involuntary solitude Joan felt lost, in the sence- that she didn't know what was appropriate behavior and she wanted to ommit, that she dug an even deeper grave for herself.
Before she knew it, words blurted out of her mouth. "I'm just too darn stupid to be alive. God I need your guiding hand right now!"
Goth God showed up.
"Joan, you have an C- average for English, I know you have read the story which you will be tested on more than once, but in addition- I want you to ask your mother to go over it with you tomorrow, just to make sure that you do get a good grade on it."
"Oh boy, you want me to ask my mom! This is so not a good idea. You know she and every one else in this house, isn't all too pleased with me right now? Not that I blame 'em- you know… after all I've done wrong and everything."
Goth God left with one of those waves that Joan had grown to dislike over the years as, it meant that she wouldn't get any answers.
Joan went down stairs to get herself a glass of milk before she went to bed. She found her mother sitting at the kitchen table- alone. Timidly she asked her mother, if she would go over the story with her tomorrow which they would be tested on on Monday. Helen had given her a weak smile and had agreed to help her, though not tomorrow- but straight away, as she couldn't sleep anyways.
Joan had gone up to her room and gotten her literature book out of her backpack. Mother and daugther barely spoke at more than a whisper as they went over the story time after time. They stopped when Joan and Helen both, felt confident that she would pass the test.
Setting: The Girardi residence, Sunday around noon.
Joan punched in Adam's phone number on her cell phone.
"Hi Adam, it's Joan."
"Oh hi Jane."
Hearing some strange back ground noices, Joan inquires; "Adam what are you doing?"
"I'm in the shed working on a new sculpture."
"Oh, that's great! By the way- are you ready for tomorrow's English test?"
"I guess so. Cha."
"Well, I've never been more ready for a test in my life! I've read the story several times and mom went over it with me as well, until I knew every tiny detail."
"Wow Jane, that's great. That should bring your grade up for sure."
"Yeah. It should. If not- I'll never do any more reading or studying in my life again!"
Helen called Joan for lunch.
"Sorry Adam, I've gotta go, mom just called me for lunch. Things being the way they are, I don't wanna keep her waiting."
"I understand. See you tomorrow Jane."
"Bye Adam." Quickly she added a serious- "I love you Adam!"
Automatically Adam said "I love you too Jane." Joan blamed his automatic answer- on him being pre-occupied with his new art project.
Joan went down stair where her parents were already seated at the kitchen table. Luke was nowhere to be seen- she assumed that he was spending time with Grace. Helen passed the plate with French toast around the table- Joan felt the same tension, as she had felt when they had been eating pizza the day before, yet this time she remained seated. When they all had had enough, Will was the first one to excuse himself from the table. Joan soon after heard sounds from the livingroom, which indicated that he was watching TV. Joan and Helen sat in silence for awhile, each pre-occupied with their own thoughts. Then Helen had gotten up from the table, heated some milk in the micro wave and gone up the stairs to Kevin's room. Sitting alone at the table, lost in her own thoughts- Joan felt lost, lonesome,useless but mostly depressed- why did there have to be so much agony in this world? What was the purpose of life, if suffering was all that there was to it? Why had she ended up being such a brainless sub-defective? All these questions and no asnwers, how cruel life could be.
Joan decided to go outside for a walk- anything was better than staying in this tension laden house all day! Barely out side the house, Joan bumped into Dog Walking God. He asked her to walk with Him, reluctantly Joan agreed.
Out of the blue He said "Joan, there is a purpose to everything in life. You might see it as suffering- when actually it's a life lesson, it's something that will help you solve, problems- as you people call them, which you may come across as an adult- believe me, when I say that the world will often be harsher and more demanding than it is now that you're merely a teenager."
"Oh great! As if I wasn't already thinking, that the world was a cruel place and that life was lousy- You tell me that things'll only get worse! Well thanks for cheering me up!" Joan said sarcastically.
"I am not here to cheer you up Joan- that would take a miracle and I don't work that way, you know that. I'm here to help you grow and make choices that will better your life, as well as the lives many others- the snowball effect of your choices, work far beyond your imagination."
Almost screaming Joan replied; "Oh so now You're telling me that my choices affect people's lives? Now You really screwed me up! I can't handle such a responsibility, You know that- just look at the suffering I'm causing my own family! You mean, that I bring suffering to people I don't even know! Do You!"
In a soothing voice Dog Walking God said; "Joan, calm down. I know that you can handle such a responsibility- you have for more than a year now. You have no idea how many people's lives you have touched and changed forever- if it weren't for you, 135 people who now are alive and well, would have been dead. Sure some people are miserable following the choices that you've made- but in the end, they are better off. I picked you Joan, because you have a pureness that doesn't make any distinctions, what-so-ever."
"If I can save people's lives, then why can't I make decisions that doesn't hurt my family, huh!" Joan said sarcastically.
Dog Walking God walked away- without looking back, He waved.
As Joan was standing alone on the sidewalk, she felt the weight of Dog Walking God's words; "The snowball effect of your choices work far beyond your imagination." She was annoyed that He had put so much weight on her shoulders. How she wished that He hadn't told her the extensive effect of her choices- how would she ever be able to make a choice again, if she knew that so many people would experience its' effect! Feeling drained, Joan headed home.
Setting: the Girardi residence, Sunday around 1:30 pm.
As he heard the front door opening Kevin- seated at the kitchen table, pulled his head up from the paper he was reading. After Joan entered the house, their eyes met for a split second- a second, in which Joan could see her brother's loath for her in his eyes. Kevin quickly lowered his head and resumed reading the paper. Joan felt the urge to run up stairs and burry her head in her pillow and lie there until the end of time- then she wouldn't have to face her brother and his negative, yet understandable feelings for her. Or the rest of her family- as lately she felt a change in the atmosphere, whenever she entered a room occupied by one or more of her family's members. Instead she poured herself a big cup of orange juice, headed into the living room, which turned out to be empty. She went over to the book store, pulled out her favorite book 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' made herself comfortable on the couch and started reading the book for the umpteenth time. She just loved Tibby, in some strange way they connected- there were so many little details about Tibby that reminded her of herself, on top of that- Tibby had lost Baily as she had lost Rocky.
Luke and Grace entered the living room, seeing Joan Luke rolled his eyes. He looked at the dvd he held in his hand and said more to himself than to anyone else; "I guess not then."
"No… it's okay… I'll just go up stairs and read." Joan offered.
Without waiting for an answer, she got to her feet and left the room. As she passed through the kitchen, she saw that Kevin was struggling to get a box of cheerios off a shelf above his head. Not thinking about it, she got the box off the shelf and handed it to a baffled Kevin. Without saying a word she headed up to her room.
Joan was half way through the third chapter when there was a knock at her door.
"Who is it?"
"Girardi it's Grace, may I come in?"
"It's open."
Grace then entered her room. As she hadn't been there in a while she looked around for changes. She found none, which didn't surprise her.
"Um Joan, thanks for letting us watch the dvd, we appriciate it."
Surprised Joan said; "You finished watching it already?"
"No, geek boy had to use the bathroom so it's on hold."
"Oh I see." Frowning Joan adds; "So why did you really come up here?"
"With everything that has happened between you, Kevin and everyone else, I wanted to see how you were holding up." Grace said with a frown wrinkeling her forhead.
"I guess I'll be okay… someday." Joan replied.
At that moment, Grace thought Joan looked like a little lost girl- so she went over to her friend to give her a big hug. As Grace embraced her, Joan burst out in tears- shedding some of the load of tension, which she had been carrying around lately.
Wiping the tears off of her face Joan said; "I'm sorry for being such a cry-baby."
"Hush… don't think about it Joan. You can't carry on like this forever… I mean you've gotta talk about what's happening. There's no way, that you can put up with all this emotionally without cracking. You wanna end up back in crazy camp, Girardi?" Grace said, concern sounding through in her voice.
"You're right Grace…I can't..it's too much….the other's loathing me in one degree or another…me seeing Kevin in pain…darn I just love him so much… yet I keep on hurting him! It just doesn't make sense."
"I know Girardi how much you love Kevin….and I know that he loves you too…only just not right now…someday…when you've patched up what's been broken…you'll both look back and wonder how things got so crooked." Grace said, managing to sound more confident than she felt.
"You really think so Grace…that things will be okay between me and Kevin?" Joan inquired
with a touch of hope.
In answer, Grace put Joan's head in her hands, locked her eyes on her's and said. "Joan, things will turn out okay." She then re-embraced Joan, only to let go a few seconds later.
"Grace…I'm gonna start the movie!" Luke threatens.
"Hold your horses geek boy, I'll be down in a sec!" She shouts out. Sighing she then said; "Boys are just such unpatient creatures." This remark produced a weak smile on Joan's lips.
Grace had crossed half the distance to the door when she said; "Joan, if you need to talk, you may call me…I don't care if it's frigging 3 in the morning…I mean it! I care about you and don't want to see you go to waste, you got that!" Grace said seriously.
Smiling weakly Joan replied; "Yeah…I got it. Thanks for being my friend Grace. I so needed a hug and some friendly words and here…voila…you are!"
"Bye Girardi. Take care." Grace then leaves.
When Grace re-enters the living room, Luke passes her a curious glance, as to say- where were you? Grace just shrugs her shoulders in reply and takes her seat on the couch. Accepting that he won't get an answer out of her, Luke sits down next to her and re-starts the dvd.
As Joan has slept rather badly lately, she falls asleep with the book still in her hand. Even in her sleep she is haunted by the stress that is occupying her body and mind, which results in her tossing and turning. At one given point, she somehow falls out of bed onto the hard ground- she then awakens. Realizing that she's on the floor she shakes her head. Drowsily she gets to her feet. Just as she's about to re-enter her bed, her mother calls on her to set the table. Confused Joan checks her watch for the time it's 5:30 pm. She then mutters to herself; "Gosh it's that late. I must have slept for hours." To avoid any conflicts she rushes downstairs.
Setting: The Girardi's kitchen, around 5:30 pm.
Helen is about to call Joan a second time, when she hears someone's feet stamping- sounding like a baby elephant, coming down the stairs. It's Joan. Well, someone that resembles Joan, as her hair is all messed up and her face looks gaunt and a lot older, than that of her 17 year old daughter. Seeing the way that her mom looks at her Joan explains; "I fell asleep and just woke up on the floor- right before you called on me."
"You woke up on the floor?" Helen said quizically.
"Yeah. Guess I must have turned one time too many." Joan said lightly.
Frowning Helen said; "I guess so." She hands Joan 4 plates.
"Mom, who isn't having dinner?" Joan inquired, looking over at her mother.
Smiling at her, Helen replied; "No one honey- oh, I know what you're thinking- and no, this has nothing to do with you. Kevin is eating in his room, because he is working on an article with a narrow dead line, that's all."
Semi-relieved Joan said; "Oh. Okay." Then she proceeds setting the table.
While they were seated at the table, Joan felt the scrutenizing silence, she kept casting involuntarily glances at Kevin's empty spot at the table- all of which, caused the stress which had been present in her mind and body for so long, to finally get the best of her- seemingly out of nowhere, her stomach churned, her heart thumped in her chest and a gigantic head ache built up behind her temples- she felt really sick. She looked around the table, to see if any of them noticed, that she hadn't touched her food. No one had. They were all assumingly, too preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings.
" I'm going to call it a day- I'm beat, from multiple nights of minimal hours of quality sleep." Luke said before he left the table.
"Sure. Honey." Helen replied, smiling at her youngest son with out-stretched arms which suggested that she wanted a hug.
Smiling weakly Luke complied to her mother's wish.
Will ruffled Luke's hair foundly, when he passed him upon leaving the table.
Soon after, Will too left the table and went into the garage. To Joan, that could only mean one thing- her dad was going to work on the boat. The boat, which she had started to built as an assignment from God. The boat that had been Kevin and their dad's first mutual interest after her brother's accident- thereby the boat had caused them to bond. A bond, which to this day- some two years later, was still strong. Joan had to draw her thoughts away from the boat, as it made her feel even worse- to her the boat meant bonding- one thing which she wished she was doing right now.
Casually Helen asked Joan to clear the table as she was going to check on Kevin.
"Oh, sure mom." Joan answered, though she felt sick and weary and would rather have been hitting the sack instead.
After clearing the table, Joan went up stairs and got ready for bed, even though it was just 7 pm. She hoped that she would feel a bit better in the morning, as with the upcoming English test she couldn't afford to stay home. Now she knew the material, if she would stay at home, she would have to take a make up test. Knowing their English teacher, the make up test date, could easily be a week from now- by then, she would have forgotten what the story was all about.
Setting: The Girardi residence, Monday bright and early.
Ever so often during the night, Joan woke up- due to the fact, that she felt her stomach's contents traveling upwards and rushed to the bathroom, just to make it in the nick of time, again and again- on top of that, her heart was thumping and her head was throbbing, she had taken an Aspirin but it's effect was next to none. Joan knew that this, was her body's way of telling her, that there was too much stress present.
At 4:30 in the morning, she decided to try and releave herself of some stress- she got out her book on meditation, which she had bought following Cute Guy God's advice, sat down on the floor of her bedroom- read the introduction and got herself started. She sat there for about 15 minutes, trying different methods which she had read about and found, that the combination had helped her nerves calm just a bit. When she went back to bed at 5 am, she fell sound asleep, a combination of the effect of the meditation session and the fact that she was utterly exhausted.
She woke up at 7:30 am, at the sound of her alarm clock, which due to her sleepiness sounded far away, while it was in fact within arm's reach. It took her several attempts before she found the button that silenced the alarm, having done so, she slowly got into a sitting position, when stood up, her head throbbed and her entire surroundings were spinning. She sat down on the edge of her bed. After a few minutes she got to her feet once more, this time her head throbbed, she felt light headed but that was it. Seeing herself in the bathroom mirror, she got herself a bit of a scare- her skin was as white as a sheet, her eyes were puffy and red from lack of sleep. To try and bring down some of the puffyness, she wetted a washcloth with cold water and gently held it against her left eye, then her right eye. It seemed to have some effect, though not as much as she had hoped for. After Joan got dressed, she put on some camoflaging make up- just so that the kids at school wouldn't stare at her and her friends wouldn't worry about her. Downstairs in the kitchen she was blessedly alone. She ate a Cheerios breakfast, as she couldn't bother making herself sandwiches.
After getting her stuff together Joan left for school.
Setting- The Rove Residence, Monday morning.
Adam was playing with his cereal, thinking about today's English test during first period, he failed to read the story which they would be tested on because he had spent the entire weekend in the shed, as he had worked on a new sculpture inspired by his feelings for Jane- honestly, had it been his feelings for Joan? Hadn't it been his feelings for Helen? Adam soothed his mind, when he decided that it was a little of both.
After he chucked the rest of his cereal into the trashcan, Adam picked up his packback and headed out the door. On his way to school, Adam wondered what he was going to do in order to pass the English test. The teacher had told them about the test on Wednesday. Thursday and Friday he had English. He had been way too present those two days- he had received a warning from the teacher on Thursday for sending notes to Joan- on Friday, he had been talking to Grace- for the first time in his life, he had been sent out into the hallway. With such behavior, it wouldn't do to say that he hadn't been feeling too hot- therefor he hadn't been able to read the story. He had felt strange though- as if someone else had taken possession of his body and mind- come to think of it, he still felt strange. It was like he was looking at himself- a stranger, from a distance. It was weird and he wasn't about to explain it. Maybe he'd talk about it with Luke later on. He'd bet, that Luke would have some kind of scientific explaination.
Setting: Arcadia High School, Monday 8:15 am..
Joan not feeling too hot herself, was worried about Adam- he looked awfully pale standing there infront of his locker, so she walked over to him and addressed him.
"Adam, you look so pale, are you alright- I mean… you're not sick or anything are you?"
Seemingly distracted by his own thoughts- Adam half-heartedly replies; "No Jane, I'm alright. Just stayed up too late, that's all."
"You sure Adam? You really look beat. I mean if there's anything… anything at all, that you want to get off your chest- I'll be there for you." Joan stated, while she kept a close eye on him to see if his body language revealed- that he was struggling with anything mentally. She detected a small nervous twitch just above his right eye brow but left it unmentioned, as the first bell rung. Joan knowing him the way she did, would seek a mentally grounded reason for him not studying for the test, instead of the unlikely but real reason, which boiled down to him being guilty of irresponsible conduct. Adam felt that he had been saved further inquiry by the bell and was thankful for this- as the up coming test occupied his thoughts sub-consciously as well as consciously and resulted in him him not being in the chatting and surely not in the answering questions mood.
Adam, had obviously not noticed her red puffy eyes or he would have asked her if she was alright too. Joan thought this meant, that she had been able to camoflage it well with the make-up she had administered to her face that morning.
As he entered the English room just before the second bell rang, Adam seeked out the desk with his test on it, as the seating during testing was different from their regular seating arreangement, to prevent friends from teaming up, giving each other the right answers.
Dude, he sure could use some help from his friends now. Seated in the back row, he looked around and saw that Grace would be of no help to him, as she was seated in the front row. Joan had been talking to their teacher, therefor he had no idea where she would be seated- there were still four unoccupied chairs, one in the front row, two in the third row and one to his right. Joan gave him a big smile before she sat down at the desk to his right. Adam smiled back, as he realized that he could easily copy the 15 answers to the multiple choice questions. As he knew her hand-writing well, he could decipher it and get the answers to the 5 open questions that way.
As always, their English teacher read the morning paper as the class took their test, which left the door wide open for him to register and copy the answers off of Joan's paper. The answers to the open questions, he had worded a bit differently from Joan's, just so that it wouldn't be apparant to their teacher, that the answers on both tests came off of just one.
When he handed his paper in he had felt confident that he would get a good grade, as well as Joan. Thank goodness Joan had read the story. Adam knew that Helen had gone over it a few times with her too, just to make sure she would do a good job on the test, as her average grade had been a mere C-.
When everyone had handed in their test, their teacher assigned them chapter 18 of the vocabulary book, which would keep them busy for the rest of the lesson- as well as giving them an hour or two of homework. While the students bent over the vocabulary their teacher graded the tests. Just before the end of class, they were handed back their test. The teacher had informed them, that if they had any questions about the test, they would be answered after school. Adam was pleased, when he saw that Joan and he had Aced their test. As he hadn't noticed, that Joan was standing by the teacher's desk, close to tears, he happily left the room for his second period PE class.
Joan was talking to the teacher in an angry voice, full of disbelief; "I don't believe this! How could you give me an F! There's only one red mark on my paper! That means that I got an A, not an F!"
"Miss Girardi, just like I mentioned before, questions about the test, can be addressed after school!" The teacher replied in a tone, that implied that she was stupid, trying to have him answer her question, at that instant.
"Grrrrrrrrrr.!" Joan said behind gritted teeth as she left the room.
She headed for second period French. When she got to the room, her teacher yelled at her for being late and told her to go and get a late slip. Feeling as lousy as she did, Joan wished that her mother still worked in the office, then she could have given her a few words of comfort. Mrs. Moran who now worked in the office, looked up when Joan knocked on the door.
"Oh, hi Joan, what can I do for you?"
"Hey, Mrs. Moran. I need a late slip for my French teacher."
"Okay. What's your reason for being late?"
As to not have to mention the test, which would have her bursting into tears, she said "No reason. I was simply late."
"I wish every one was this honest." Mrs. Moran said, giving Joan a smile, as she handed her the slip.
Joan managed to give her a weak smile in return, as she said "Thank you Mrs. Moran."
When she returned with the late slip, her French teacher snippily told her to take her seat. Joan could barely fight off the upwelling tears. Along with the stress she was already under in the aftermath of what had happened to Kevin. The test which she had aced and yet somehow failed. Her teacher's snippiness was enough to burst the bubble. Not wanting her classmates to see her cry, Joan quickly left the classroom.
A bit further down the hall, she locked herself in one of the stalls in the girl's bathroom. Shamelessly, she let the tears run free. She had no idea how long she had been there, when the flow of tears stopped. For a while she pondered about what to do next. She sertainly would not go back for the remainder of the French class. So she could choose between staying there until the bell rang and go to her third period Geometry class or go back to Mrs. Moran and ask if she would let her go home, as she didn't feel all that well. While she was still wondering what to do- the decision was made for her, as her stomach's contents announced it's oral exit. After washing her face and hands, Joan headed back to the administration office.
When she knocked on the door this time around and Mrs. Moran saw her, she said; "Oh my gosh Joan! You look awfully ill! You shouldn't be in school! How come you didn't say anything and I didn't notice you were ill, when you were in here earlier?"
"I didn't feel quite so bad earlier." Joan confessed.
"Would you like me to phone your mother, so that she can take you home?"
"Oh, no don't. She is testing all her classes today on some artist or another. I'll be okay taking the bus."
"The bus? Are you sure Joan? You know what… I'll tell Mr. Price that I'll be out for a while, get my keys, then I'll drive you home." Seeing that Joan's about to protest, Mrs. Moran quickly adds; "No buts, young lady!" She passes Joan, a warm smile before she enters Mr. Price's office. Before Joan knows it, she returns- keys in hand and motions for Joan to follow her. During the drive over to her house, Joan is silent except for the occasional; "go left, go right and straight ahead", as she guides Mrs. Moran to her house.
Before she left the car, Joan said; "Thank you ever so much for bringing me home, Mrs. Moran" and managed to give her a warm smile despite how she felt.
Smiling back at Joan, Mrs. Moran said; "My pleasure Joan. Atleast now I'll have some peace of mind, knowing that you got home alright."
Knowing that Mrs. Moran won't drive away before she sees her enter the house, Joan waves after she has climbed the steps, that lead up to the front door.
Setting, the Girardi residence around 11:00 am.
Kevin, sitting at his desk working on an article- heard the slamming of the front door. Not expecting anyone home for hours he called out; "Who's there?"
Joan too sick to answer, draged herself up the stairs, threw open the bathroom door and saged through her knees infront of the toilet.
Kevin heard the unmistakable sound of someone throwing up. Instinctively he knew it was Joan, as he had heard her throw up multiple times during the previous night. It dawned on Kevin, that Joan, besides having been sick during the night and now- must have been sick at school too, as she was home 4 hours early.
Giving first one wheel, then the other a push with his left arm, Kevin managed to reach the bathroom. Looking in through the wide-open door, he saw his sister rise from her postition by the toilet bowl, take the few steps to the sink and freshen herself up. However much he loathed Joan- seeing her like that, his brotherly feelings of concern took the overhand. He reached out his left hand and grabbed the towel hanging on the hook closest to the door.
"Joan. Catch!" Kevin said and threw the towel in her direction. Although startled beyond belief- hearing Kevin say her name, Joan was able to catch the towel.
As she uttered a word of thanks, tears rolled down her cheeks- opening Kevin's eyes to the reason why his sister was being sick. Stress!- most likely caused by the radical negative change, in their once so close relationship.
Kevin, now feeling Joan's pain, reached out his good arm to her and welcomingly said; "Come here and have a seat Joanie. Let's talk. Okay?"
Being called Joanie by Kevin, was something that brought back long lost memories to Joan's mind and even more tears to her eyes. With her head spinning and her knees buckling on her, most probably due to lack of food in her body- Joan more fell, than sat down on her brother's lap. Afraid that she had hurt Kevin, Joan hysterically cried out: "Are you okay? I'm so sorry!"
"It's okay Joanie." Kevin said soothingly, as he put his good arm around her he not only supported but comforted her too. For a while they sat in silence, except for the occasional sob, coming from either of them.
"Joanie...let's get outta here. Okay? Move into my room, where you can get comfy on a chair or my bed or whatever… while we talk?"
"Sure." Joan said. When she was about to get up from his lap, Kevin stopped her. "Joanie, if you could face forward instead of sideways- give the right wheel a push when I do the left one, then you could stay seated. Okay?" In reply, Joan nodded her head and changed into the requested position. When the two of them both pushed off on an agreed three count- they barely missed the hallway wall, opposite the bathroom, they laughed in unison. Once they reached his room, Joan let herself slide off Kevin's lap onto his bed. He seated himself opposite her, hands folded in his lap.
Kevin cleared his throat, then opened the conversation: "Joanie, I'm no longer mad at you…or whatever. I'm probably just as sorry things got so messed up as you are. Times haven't been easy for me the past years…well.. since the accident. Okay I'm able to deal with it. Well most of the time I 'm, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss- regret, not being able to do things. That's why that remark hurt so bad Joanie. Firstly it was undeserved- I just called you down to dinner. Secondly- it just hit my weak spot, at a time that I was down about not being able to play ball or walk. If I deserve it and you make a remark fine, just please don't let it be linked to my disability, because that is just so low, hurtfull, something which I can't do anything about. Okay?"
Tears streaming down her cheeks, realizing the extent of pain her remark imploded in Kevin, Joan nods in reply.
"Now, correct me if I'm wrong. You were sick last night and now weren't you, because of how things have kinda turned out between us two lately. Right?"
"Um… right. Well mostly anyways. I just couldn't handle you of all people, being mad at me. I mean… you mean so much to me. Darn. If you weren't my brother, I probably would have asked you out ages ago! No, don't you laugh, I mean it! Well anyhow, I wanted to apologize so bad."
Rolling her eyes Joan continued; "Ah duh- as though that would make everything all right. That I well, you know…stalked you…then everything turned out even worse, as you felt like you had to escape me….and then you fell down those stairs…I swear my heart stopped beating! I was so scared… that when I felt for your pulse… there wouldn't be any!" Joan breaks down sobbing- Kevin reaches his hand out to hers, they connect.
Crying softly Joan continues; "Then when you woke up in the hospital and I was the only one around, you clearly let on, that I was una persona non grata. Now that really hurt. I so needed to show you that I cared. I so needed to apologize. I so needed to make things okay between us. Beign sick like this- I guess it's a sign, that my body couldn't handle the bottled up tension anymore, that it has been carrying around the past…eternity." Kevin pulls himself closer to Joan- he like her, feels the need to make amencement. Kevin and Joan embrace one another. Unashamed, the both of them let their tears run freely- shedding the tension that they both feel- and whatever bad feelings stood between them.
After their intense, open hearted, relationship mending conversation, Joan felt exhaustion take the overhand. Kevin sensed this and told her: "Joanie if you're tired, you're more than welcome to have a lie-down on my bed and rest-up some. First though, I'd like for you to have a drink of water- I don't want, my beloved little sister to dehydrate on me." Kevin said smiling, with a look of concern on his face. Before Joan could reply, Kevin reached out for a cup, which he filled with water from a bottle on his bedside table. Taking small sips, Joan emptied the cup. When she lied down, her exhausted, stressed-out body was soon sound asleep.
When Kevin returned to his desk, his lap top's display told him that it was 1:10 pm. He resumed writing his article, while he glanced over at Joan every now and then. He knew that Helen would be home from work early, as her last class ended at 1:45 pm. When she came home and went up stairs to check on Kevin, she found him seated by the stairs, waiting for her. Somehow, she thought he looked happier, than he had in a long time. When she was about to speak, he put a finger on his lips to silence her- instead he gestured for her to come closer. "Joan is home. She's sleeping on my bed."
"She's sleeping on your bed? She didn't did she..? I mean, stalk you again!" Helen said concerned.
"Oh no, not at all. Mom, she's all stressed-out. I have never seen her look so pale or sick like this. I'm concerned that she'll dehydrate. She was sick all night, at school and back again here too!"
"When I saw you on top of the stairs, you looked happier than you have in a while. You being concerned about Joan- does this perhaps mean that you have sorted things out?"
With a big smile Kevin replied; "Yes it does mom! Joanie and I are tight again! Our relationship, is back to square one!" After this revelation Helen and Kevin embraced for a brief moment. Then they headed back to his room, both concerned for Joan's health.