Chapter Sixteen

"Sam can't be dead," James said for the umpteenth time that evening. They were in the common room and it was already 3 am. Sirius stared blankly at the fire, saying nothing. Lily looked out the window, her arms crossed. Mattie sat on the floor, clenching her grip around the carpet.

None of them could sleep.

"Why didn't any of you tell me?" James whispered, not meeting their eyes. He paced back and forth in front of the fire. "Which one if you didn't even know! Damn it! I wish I knew…"

"What, and look at her between every period to check up on her? Give her more attention? You'd act differently around her because she's dying. It's because you PITIED her," Lily shot back spitefully. "And Sam wouldn't want that."

"So why'd she let Sirius do it then?" James demanded.

"Because even if she told me to stop because I pitied her, I'd still continue because I love her," Sirius said softly, gripping on the armchair. They all kept quiet for a moment.

"Nobody told me she was dying either," Mattie spoke up. They all glanced at her before getting lost again in their own worlds.

While everyone else was sleeping, a group of teenagers were mourning over the loss of someone very important to them… Someone even more than important.

Lily didn't sleep the whole night. She kept switching places in the common room, moving from the windowsill to the couch to the armchair to the tables and finally to the carpet. Every now and then tears would slide down her cheeks miserably.

"Lily…" James's voice echoed in the common room. "Get some sleep."

"Shut up, Potter, I can't."

"Yes, you can." James went downstairs and sat beside Lily. She was staring at the fire, tears burning her eyes and coursing down her pale skin. "Oh, Lily…"

He pulled her close and Lily didn't pull away. She burst into sobs, crying onto James's shoulder. "She's dead, James…" she wailed. "She can't leave. I need her… I need one of my best friends more than anything…"

Soon, James felt tears slide down his own face. He cupped her face in his hands and tilted it up gently. Emerald green met hazel brown. "She didn't exactly leave yet… Perhaps her spirit is still here… And she's always gonna be with us, Lil. Don't forget that…"

"I just need someone aside from Mattie… She's a great friend and all… But what if she's with Remus and I need someone? I don't wanna pull her out," Lily said, starting to babble all these different things. James's lips curved into a half-smile before wiping her tears away.

"You have me," he cut off before placing a hand at the back of her neck and kissing her.

It was a gloomy, blustery day at Hogwarts when Sam was being buried. A large crowd consumed the grounds like ants on an anthill when Dumbledore stood up and watched everyone with weary eyes. "It is to my displeasure to stand here right now."

A mumble of affirmatives went through the crowd. Professor McGonagall approached Dumbledore sadly. "Samantha Livingston was a good student and a good apprentice," she said, trying not to cry. "We all loved her dearly."

"Burial speeches, please," Dumbledore choked out. The crowd split apart to find a group of students: Adam, Sirius, Remus—who was trying hard to recover, Lily, Mattie and James. They all looked glum and Sirius and Lily looked as if they hadn't slept in days. They hadn't.

"I want three burial speeches, please."

The group glanced at each other through glossy eyes. Lily slightly met Dumbledore's eyes. "Sir, we'd rather not state our burial speeches for Sam in public."

Taken aback, Dumbledore and McGonagall stared at the group in front of them. They were staring up at those two superiorities. James gripped gently on Lily's hand. This time she didn't pull away.

"Alright then." Dumbledore curtly nodded. "Well, we might as well end this ceremony."

Once they all had left, the group stayed behind and looked down at the coffin where Sam lay. Lily gripped on James' hand harder. "So…" Mattie started uncomfortably. Remus wrapped an arm around Mattie's shoulder, partly for support.

"Well, do you all have your speeches?" Adam muttered softly, slowly taking out an envelope from his robe pocket. Mattie and Remus took out their burial speeches from their pockets.

"Adam… You first," James said quietly, tilting his head towards the burial spot. Adam nodded and out of his robe sleeve protruded a white rose. A half-smile formed on his lips before he placed the burial speech in. The white rose fell gracefully to the ground.

Mattie and Remus walked slowly and dropped their burial speeches. Mattie held a blue rose and Remus held a yellow one. They dropped it carefully on the ground before following Adam.

James helped Lily walk to the coffin. He saw her bite her lip gently. "Hey, it's gonna be okay," he whispered gently. Lily gulped and nodded slowly. They placed their burial speeches and Lily held the pink rose for them both.

"Bye, Sam…" she said solemnly before letting the rose flutter down with the other roses. James held her in his arms before tears coursed down his face. They followed Mattie and Remus, giving Sirius some time with Sam.

Sirius walked up to the coffin and bit his lip nervously. "Sam… I know we still haven't gone out or whatever… It's plainly stupid… I love you, though." He chuckled lightly. "And… Well, you know that you'll always be one of my best friends… I'm sorry about Peter… I guess it's just… erm, you know… I felt bad or something…"

"Yeah, I bet," a voice said, chuckling lightly back. Sirius looked up in shock and saw a transparent figure or a hologram stand in front of him. Sam.

"Sam…" he whispered.

"Yeah, actually, it's me. It actually feels good to be dead," Sam said with a cheeky smile. Tears started forming on Sirius' face as he stood up, staring into the eyes of his love. "Oh, Siri… Y'know I love you too."

Sirius laughed, trying to wipe the tears away. "God, Sam… I wish you weren't dead."

"If I wasn't, I'd still be suffering," Sam reminded him. "I'm not going to be completely gone… And I'm still gonna wait for you when you're gone too… Of course, you'd look older. WAY older."

They laughed and Sam winked at him. "I love you, Sam."

"I love you too." Sam started shimmering. "I have to go, Sirius… And here's a clue… Check underneath a loose cobblestone in the Astronomy Tower."

"Sam!"

"Bye, Sirius…" And with that, she was gone.

And for some reason, Sirius didn't feel too bad.

Argh, bad chapter! Anyway, please don't expect updates so soon… I keep getting mind block… Sorry! Thanks to all the reviewers! Belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!