Two- The Banister

It had been a relatively quiet Friday Night Dinner so far and Lorelai Victoria Gilmore was restless. She picked at her pot roast absent mindedly and gazed across the table at her 21 year old daughter, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, every few minutes. Richard Gilmore was on business this particular week and it was just the girls. They had immediately exhausted all small talk topics and had moved onto silence.

Suddenly, the sound of Will Smith's "Switch" filled the room. Lorelai scrambled to retrieve her cell phone from her purse and silence it.

"Lorelai! Honestly!" As usual, Emily Gilmore frowned upon her daughters incompetent behavior. "What is that racket?"

"Its Will Smith Mom…" Lorelai searched her mother's face for some kind of recognition. Emily's features displayed a mixture of utter confusion and pure disgust. "You know, 'The Fresh Prince'?" Lorelai put on her best Will Smith voice, "Yo baby, yo baby, yo!" This earned her a giggle from Rory and another look of disapproval from Emily.

By this time Will had quieted himself and Lorelai's phone was telling her that she had missed a call from her fiancé, none other than Lucas Danes. Pouting, Lorelai put her cell phone back in her purse.

"That was Luke, wasn't it?" Rory asked, a knowing smile dancing across her face.

"No." Lorelai said mischievously. A moment passed before her voice was heard once more, "Yes." she admitted. Emily just rolled her eyes and continued eating her meal.

After they had all finished their food Rory's grandmother ordered the maid to get them some desert. Once they all had been served by the flustered help, Lorelai announced, "I have to pee."

"How charming." Emily commented.

Lorelai grabbed her purse and ventured out of the dining room and towards the stairs. She climbed them slowly, as not to make any noises, and eventually found herself in her old room.

The whimsical woman grabbed her pinkphone and flipped it open. She dialed a familiar number and waited as it rang.

"Hello?" The gruff voice of one diner owner came over the line. This was very diner owner Lorelai had spent many dirty nights with. It was only diner owner who could keep up with all her cultural references. It was the very diner owner she went to with her problems, and it was the only person she could let her guard down in front of, the only one she could cry in front of. This very diner owner was much more then her sex slave, not that he wasn't her sex slave, because he was that, too.

"Hi, this is Cassandra, from the other night? You never called me." Lorelai said in a high pitched rendition of her own voice.

"Lorelai." He scolded, mock annoyance plaguing his voice.

"Hi babe." He could hear her lips curling into that charming little smile even over the phone."You called before?"

"Yea, I was just wondering when you were going to be home tonight?" He asked.

"Soon, we're already on desert." She assured him.

"OK, I'm looking forward to it." He said suavely. "Class dismissed."

"Thanks, hon. See you soon." She said, "Bye."

"Bye."

Lorelai folded her phone and dropped it in her purse. She wandered out of her old room and down the hallway towards the stairs. Eyeing them, she couldn't help but notice how long, winding and inviting the banister on the staircase was. She had never noticed this before, in all her years of living in this house it had never crossed her mind.

Before the 14-year-old-living-in-a-38-year-old's-body could stop herself, she was tucking her purse under her arm and plopping her butt on the top of the banister. She pushed herself off with one foot and squealed in excitement as she flew down the staircase.

A huge thud was heard throughout the Elder Gilmore Residence that night. When Rory arrived in the foyer, what she saw had her shrieking with laughter.

Lorelai Victoria Gilmore was sprawled out on the expensive carpet, and the pumps that had once elegantly graced her feet had flown off and hit the wall, landing by the drink cart. Her purse had opened, pouring its contents all over the room. Her nylons had huge runs in them and her hair had locks escaping the elastic she used to pull it into a ponytail at the base of her neck. The woman's skirt had come up, exposing her, err, undergarments.

By the time Lorelai had placed everything back in her purse, put her shoes on, and pulled herself off the floor, Rory was on her knees, crying with laughter. Emily even allowed herself a little chuckle at her daughter's expense.

"Mom! What were you thinking?" Rory asked, gasping for air, "Oh my god-" She paused to emit more giggles, "I think I might pee a little I'm laughing so hard, I- I think I already did!"

The laughter didn't end there, no, it continued all night. Rory's laughter continued throughout desert and the car ride home. When they arrived in Stars Hollow Rory obviously had to share the antic dote with Luke. Yes, the soon to be step father and step daughter were in stitches by the time they were all ready for bed.

Yes, Lorelai was annoyed, even a bit peeved at Luke and Rory, but she didn't allow herself to get too mad at them. She remembered the words of one wise sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea, "Sandy, we all have to be able to look in the mirror and laugh at ourselves sometimes."

She didn't really know how this related to her situation, as her name wasn't Sandy and she hadn't looked in the mirror. Her name was Lorelai Gilmore and she had fallen off the banister… but somehow she felt that it fit as the moral of the story.

Review... pretty please with Luke andJess and Dean and Logan and Tristin and Christopher and Martyallon top! Better then a measily cherry,am Iright or am I right? ((Sorry If I forgot any of the hunky hunky boyfriends on the show... just let me know))