Dante and Riku Go Camping
By Jabber-Nut Foxypants
Nut: See? See? I told you I do update! Muwahahahahahahahaha!
Sugar-Jak: If you, the readers, don't know what she's talking about, it's in her bio.
Dark-Ego: She said she updates but she's been told by her friends many times.
Shawlynn: It usually takes a swift kick in the head by her best friend Platypus Shoelace to get her to update though.
Nut: And my leg still hurts Platypus!
Shawlynn: Wimp…
Nut: whose side are you on!
Shawlynn: Hers.
Semi-Somethin': Oh boy…
Spring-Bomb: Before this conversation bursts out into a violent scene of blood and gore, I think you should just read the story and enjoy.
Dark-Ego: It involves donuts… (Insert cheesy Sora smile here)
Chapter 2
The Natives of the BBQ Weenie Islands
"Donut! Donut! Donut!" Dante shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Dante! Save me!" Riku also shouted still in a little curled up ball clinging to Dante's silver hair with tears running down his face.
"No! I must save the donut!"
The donut of the visible green string picked up pace leaving Dante in its sugary dust.
"No! My precious hunk of beautiful sugary glazed donutness! You're losing all your sprinkles!" Dante kept running as fast as his little chibi legs would take him but the sorrow and pain of the scattered sprinkles was killing him on the inside. Seeing all the rainbow colored sprinkles lying in mud and dirt broke his heart into bite size pieces. They were so small they could fit through the eye of a needle. "My love! My sweet dearest love of my life! Come back!"
Tears ran down his face, as Riku continued clinging to his head with his own tears streamed down his face. Just then a rock, not a biggin' but not a small rice size one, but just a big enough one where only Dante could trip all fall flat on his face, which he did. He laid there for a minute while Riku spun out of control after the donut that was now skipping away faster because of the impending doom of the roller Riku.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he screamed, with a little retarded school girl's voice, rolling down the slow declining slope.
Black swirls occupied Dante's eyes as he laid seemingly unconscious on the ground from his dreadful trip on the rock that now had a bruise the size of a pineapple. How a rock about the size of a grain of rice has a bruise, or a pineapple sized one for that matter, is currently unexplainable.
Riku stopped rolling when the slope stopped declining and straighten into a barren wasteland of dust and sand. No, not really, just jokin', actually he landed face first into scared dirt, a tribal land if you will. Bountiful with tepees, fire pits, marshmallows, and unbent, burnt hangers. The donut skipped its way around the edge of a tepee and Riku heard somethin' that he knew he should get up and dodge very quickly. A ravenous, not to mention conscious, chibified devil trigged Dante running to save his soon to be wife, the gorgeous Mrs. Donut Dante Sparda.
"I'm coming my love!" he announced in a very manly muscular voice with a fist in the air.
"Dante, you're currently standing on my head and the red ants aren't happy I just crushed their house," muttered Riku squirming underneath Dante black leather boot.
"Sorry, my bad," Dante apologized lifting his foot.
Riku raised his head revealing tons of red lumps with little black stingers hanging out of them. He glared at Dante and twitched his eye brow many times on purpose.
"I would just love to have an eye brow conversation with you again. I have a love to confess." He walked until he was at the corner the donut went around. He took a deep breath, heavily sighed, and then took a brave step toward commitment. But a rope trap wrapped around his leg taking him several inches off the ground, about two, hanging from coconut tree that was only five feet tall. "I think the only point to this, is to have the blood rush to my head."
"Dante!" gasped Riku as a bunch of shadowed figures jumped out at Dante and himself.
"I think I just wet myself…" confessed Dante.
"I told you to go before we left!" shouted Riku suddenly in old granny clothes.
"I did…" Dante trailed off as his fidgeted by putting his two pointer fingers together.
"You are very very very very bad boy. Wait 'til your father gets home!"
"No! Not daddy!"
"Oh yes young man!"
The figures were now utterly confused and they all fell over each other because of their confuzzlement. And by falling they either knocked off over or tore off the black cloaks hiding them.
"They're…" stuttered Dante.
"They're…" continued Riku.
"Weenies…" they both said at the same time.
"We're hot dogs!" said a two foot dog and probably the leader of them judging by the size of the walking stick, which was about twenty times his size, and the multiple face paint markings and colors of the paint.
"You look BBQ weenies. Like the kind you stick in a crock pot and pour two jugs of BBQ sauce on them then let them cook for six hours until they're nice a tender and it's barely an effort to drill your fork through their meaty weenie bodies," Dante teased savoring the thought and drooling out of the corner of his mouth.
"You're so cruel…" said a ten foot tall dog whimpering and sucking on his thumb.
"Then you know what else?" asked Dante creepily.
"What?" all the weenies said at the same time.
All the sudden the afternoon dropped to a night gloomy with dark clouds hovering above them. Dante magically was released from the trap. He pulled on a dog's dark cloak and grabbed a flashlight out from his back. "We also roast them. We enjoy hearing their cries of pain and prayers to the lord for their lives."
If you're wondering what happened to Riku, he is still back at his spot speechless, breathless, and occupied trying to get the red ants out of his pants. 'Cause if ya noticed, he didn't move off the ant hill.
Dante continued the story of the roasted weenies while thunder sounded. No lightning or rain but thunder for the atmosphere.
"And just think it was a bright and sunny day when this story started…" stated Riku.
Shut up! You're ruining the story! You're the character! You're not supposed to know that you're just in a story! It's an adventure!
"Fine fine. Whatever."
Ahem… Dante continued the story.
"We boil them! We fry them! We cut them into bite size pieces with a butter knife!"
"Not a butter knife!" shouted a girl dog in the back.
"Oui, with a butter knife. You're tender bodies are so easy to cut with a dull knife, it's amusing."
"Dante! Can we go now?" asked Riku from the back row.
"NO!" shouted all the dogs at once. "We want to finish the story!"
"And I want my donut!" added Dante.
"Fine. Finish the story."
"Well kids, you know what else we do to weenies?" he paused and made his eyes glow red. "We eat ya!"
The dogs gasped and a girl or maybe a girly guy screamed like a school girl running away crying.
"We munch and crunch ya!" continued the devil chibi. "We put through the ring of fire known as our internal tract. And then you come out our butts as lawn fudge!"
Another scream from the back but this time it was a frustrated yell sort of. "Dante! I want to go!"
"Hold on will ya? You go ants in your pants?"
"Actually yes…"
There was a great moment while Riku walked up to Dante challenging him to a staring contest. It lasted a few minutes until they noticed that the dog's faces showed anger and rage.
"They're different! Let's cook them like did Aunt Sue's cousin!" commanded the leader jumping up and down to get a better look.
"I never said what weenies we ate!" confessed Dante flailing wildly.
Not two minutes later that were hanging upside down over a boiling pot of tomato soup with a dash of red ant butts.
"I hate you Dante," said Riku glaring.
Dante put on a cheesy Sora smile and sang the Legend of Zelda "obtain" music when he obtained a sweat drop.
"Whoop de do… move."
Fin
Nut: (Is dying of laughter)
Shawlynn: If you don't understand why she is dying of laughter, it's because of the last few comments in the story and the words "Lawn Fudge".
Semi-Somethin': If ya want to see why the "whoop de do" thing is funny go to Newgrounds "dot" com and in the search enter "The Real Legend of Zelda".
Dark-Ego: Check the list and when you see the words "The Real Legend of Zelda" click on it and click watch this movie.
Spring-Bomb: It will take awhile a load if your computer is slow.
Sugar-Jak: But it's worth it. Trust me!
Nut: (Has died)
Shawlynn: I claim the slim Playstation 2!
Spring-Bomb: Aw…
Nut: Never Shawlynn!
Shawlynn: Aw…
Nut: By the way, review, and if you have questions, ask, and I will respond with the new respond type thingy they just put in. Otay? Otay!
Laters!
Syco Muzik Mafia signin' out man
Thanks to all who reviewed the first chapter!