Disclaimer

I do not own Naruto.

Summary

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

Author's Notes

Yeah. My father woun't give me my password to my AOL account, so that means I can't go on-line even though I finished this chapter. Most of my school stuff is over but I still have exams and make sure that I pass all my courses. Oh well, I enjoyed writing the adventures of Kakashi taking care of Iruka… Even if I do hate my dad.

Plastic Ponies

Kakashi sighed happily when they finally made it to the restaurant.

It had been one problem after another as the older ninja tried to lead the two teens and Iruka to the restaurant. First there was the incident with Naruto and the cat, caused by Iruka picking up the feline and throwing it at the blond to see if he could catch it. After many scratches, and a strict scolding to the brown-haired child about tossing small animals, they continued on their way.

Then there was Sasuke. It wasn't his fault but Naruto had somehow gotten him in trouble, again. It began with the fox using his jutsu to change into a copy and being annoying, this consisted with running into multiple objects and saying, "I'm pretty. I'm Sasuke." Which, afterwards, resulted in the real Uchiha clan survivor beating the imposter to the edge of life. As punishment, their teacher sent the instigator, Naruto, with the bags and clothes to Iruka's house; trusting him to know where the location was.

'There are times when I wonder about my sanity.' Kakashi thought as they slid into a booth. 'When did it become my mission to be a babysitter?' He questioned the actions of the hokage at the moment, his body maneuvering itself between the two teens somehow. "When are you two going to stop this childish arguments?" The teacher asked, looking from the fuming Sasuke to the humming Naruto.

Both boys stopped what they were doing and glared at the other, clearly stating they were never going to stop. "They're just stupid." Iruka said, shrugging as he played with the salt and peppershaker; making them dance across the wood table. Finding this boring after the salt 'accidentally' fell onto the floor, breaking cleanly in half, the child sighed and stared at the ceiling. "When are we going to eat?" He whined, swinging his feet back and forth.

As if on cue, a girl jogged out with a pad and pencil in hand. "Hello, what can I get for you today?" She smiled, her pale hair tied in the back by green ribbons, curled in the shape of small buns.

Kakashi looked from girl to his students, noting how neither looked at the woman or the strange pair of ears on her head that were held on by her village headband. Turning, about to respond to the first question, the copy ninja was interrupted by Iruka slapping his small hand on the surface. "I want a number seven with extra fishcakes!" He announced, grinning ear to ear when the neko lady wrote down his order.

"I just want to say, you have to be the cutest, little kid I've seen all today!" She said, bending over to pinch the boy's cheek and purr appreciatively at him.

Kakashi chuckled under his breath, looking over the menu with the air of someone who had come many times but was maybe deciding to change the routine. "I guess I'll have a three." He settled for his usual, "You guys?" He shoved at Naruto, who was sitting next to him, making the fox jerk from his vegetable like state and glance around. "Order."

The boy across from Kakashi lifted his head from reading, closing the menu with a decisive air as he handed it to the woman. "I'll take the fifteen, extra tomatoes." Sasuke said, leaning back into the chair and trying to ignore the small body next to him that was slowly pulling its feet up.

"Yes. Thank you." The cat said, her short skirt flaring out from the many layers of lace underneath. "Can I get you anything, sir?" She asked Naruto, bending over to try and see into his eyes. "If he isn't going to order yet," she stood up after a moment, brushing off her skirt with the back of her hand, "can I get any of you a soda? Or would you prefer some tea, sir?" She asked Kakashi, bowing slightly in his direction.

Sasuke growled under his breath at Naruto's indecision, wondering if he could even read what was written in front of him on the menu. The teen looked down when a sudden tightness clenched around his arm. Seeing bright, brown eyes staring up at him, Sasuke knew that this meal wouldn't be as peaceful as he hoped. "What?" He asked, shifting his weight so that he was facing the teacher.

"I gotta go." Iruka whispered, tugging the shirt's sleeve and glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one else hear what he said to the stoic ninja.

Sasuke's eyes widened at the simple phrase, his brain going into overdrive to understand what that meant. He was the youngest child, so he would've never had to hear this before because he was always the one asking his older brother. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration, it suddenly snapped when Iruka continued to tug insistently.

The child whimpered and ignored the looks he was getting from Kakashi and Naruto, one thing on his mind at the moment: Pee. "Please, can we go?" He whispered again to Sasuke, jumping onto the floor and waiting for the much taller teen to follow.

"Fine." Sasuke sighed, scooting out of the booth and grasping the hand of Iruka's in his own. "We'll be right back." He said over his shoulder to his teacher and teammate, "Iruka-san has something to do." He finished, walking to the hallway where he knew the restrooms were located.

Pushing open the door, Sasuke ushered the small child into the empty room, locking the main door behind him. Turning from the younger teacher, the black-haired teen checked each of the stalls to make sure they were completely alone. "You know what to do." He muttered, turning away to the sink to check the strain that the stress was having on him. 'At this rate, I'm going to be as jumpy as that idiot Naruto…'

A tug on his pant leg brought the ninja to his senses, looking down to see Iruka staring at him. "What do you want now?" He said, silently cursing himself for making it sound like he was whining.

The child's eyes narrowed, crossing his arms importantly as his face screwed up adorably as he asked for help. "I need you to open the door… Please." He grumbled, turning his head to stare at his sandaled feet as rocked back and forth.

Sasuke growled under his breath, shoving open the metal door and pushing the child into it. "I'm going back outside." He announced, knowing he should watch after the little boy but not wanting to. He waltzed out of the tiled area, unlocking the door after him so other men could go to the bathroom.

The teen sighed as the door closed, resting his back against the wood to glare across the room at Naruto and Kakashi. Grumbling under his breath as he pushed off to rejoin them, Sasuke slouched into the booth where a fizzing soda was waiting for him. Glancing into the cup, checking to make sure it wasn't eroding the glass surrounding it, Sasuke frowned; he didn't order a drink, if he recalled.

"I ordered it."

Sasuke's head snapped up from examining the liquid, seeing Kakashi still sitting across from him, only now with a bottle of warm sake next to him. "It had better not be poisoned…" he muttered fiercely, irritated that someone else ordered a part of his meal.

Kakashi grinned under his mask, "You don't trust your sensei? What type of ninja are you?" He placed his small ceramic cup onto the table top, glancing behind Sasuke, "Where's Iruka?" He asked, trying to keep the edge out off his voice and succeeding from his many years of experience as an assassin.

Sasuke, still staring suspiciously at his glass, shrugged as he swirled his drink, "He needed to go, so I took him to the bathroom." He took an experimental sip and grimaced, diet soda was never as good as the original.

Silence reigned over the table for a moment; Naruto swore he could hear a cricket chirp in the background, before Kakashi stood up and leaned forward. "Do not tell me you left a three-year old boy, alone, in a large bathroom." His eye narrowed.

Sasuke took another gulp of the liquid, quenching his thirst under the interrogation of his teacher, "Fine. I won't say anything." He said, looking at Kakashi square in the eye as if daring him to continue.

Kakashi sighed and pushed Naruto out of the booth, the boy landing ungracefully on the floor, and strolled over to the bathroom. "I'll make sure he wasn't stolen by a pedophile or an over zealous woman who saw him enter the bathroom." He said, raising a hand in bored fashion. "Make sure I get the right order." The gray-haired man said as he pushed open the door and left his students behind, hoping that this wasn't a fatal mistake on his part.

The elite ninja glanced around the tile-covered room, taking in every possible escape route as he was trained to do since he was six. "Oi, Iruka! You in here?" He asked to the empty space, his words reverberating off the walls. Kakashi smiled and asked again, "Oh little Iruka! Where are you?" He sang mischievously, walking to a bathroom stall to check if anyone was hiding in it or otherwise.

"Not over here!" The chunin sang back, just as playfully.

A muffled squeak came from the corner directly behind the stall's wall, sending Kakashi in that direction to investigate. He looked around the corner, covering his footsteps by treading cautiously. He spotted the stuffed animal first, it being white and shining glaringly against the dark blue tiles. Reaching for it, he lifted it up to only find a small child attached to the colorless horse.

Iruka was hugging the animal as hard as he could, body curled up to be almost the same size as his toy. "Are you having fun?" Kakashi said, chuckling softly as the boy slowly lost his grip on his stuffed animal and slid onto the floor with a dull thump. "Did you finish what you came to do?" He looked down at the child, his hands on his hips and watching the brown eyes open to stare at him.

"I didn't have to go!" Iruka happily answered as he stood, trying to reach for his pony but being shorter than the other ninja's knee had many disadvantages. "Can I have Haiku back?" He said, huffing when Kakashi taunted him more by waving it over his head. Turning from the man, the boy walked to the door and leaned on the wall next to it.

"If you're going to be so immature, I should just get someone else to look after me." He glanced through his lashes, a malicious grin spreading across his tan face, "Of course, Hokage-sama wouldn't be happy if he hear that one of his jounin's couldn't control a three-year old." He scratched his nose, pretending to not understand what he just said.

Pacing over, Kakashi couldn't believe that the smile was growing even larger on the child's face. Scowling down at the child, he dropped the plush toy. "Don't even try it." He said, hiding his amusement from the mini Iruka scowling up at him. "I could take you on any day of the week."

"I'd beat you any day." The chunin said, inspecting his fingernails and tapping his foot. Before Kakashi could respond, the boy's head snapped up. "Five days, to be exact." He held up an open hand to signify his challenge to the older ninja. "I'll see you then." He then abruptly groaned in frustration, "Can we go eat now? I obviously can't open the door and you're just standing there like some idiot." The tapping of his sandaled foot sped up.

"Man, you get testy when you're hungry, don't you?" Kakashi said as he squatted, pinching a cheek with one hand and picking up the boy in the other. "Guess we're going to have to remedy that, eh?" He poked the child in the stomach, earning a squirm and whine.

Kakashi was expecting many things to happen when he walked out of the restroom. One idea was Sasuke and Naruto fighting tooth and nail over the last breadstick, but then the teacher remembered that this was Ichiraku Ramen and they didn't serve Italian food. 'As long as they aren't killing the other customers it really doesn't matter.' He thought, allowing the door to close behind him and leaving him open for an attack.

And the attack came, in the form of Kakashi's number three meal.

The boiling hot liquid didn't bother the ninja that much; his clothing protected most of his body, truth be told. It was the noodles. The noodles sliding down his face while the bowl they were in, upside down on the man's head, tipped to the side and fell onto the ground.

"What are those little…" Kakashi muttered, kicking the bowl to the side and wiping away the liquid soaked noodles from his eyesight to spot his two students. Having a food fight, no less.

Naruto ducked under a table when a cup, sailing through the air with deadly precision, slammed into the wall where the teen's head used to be. Sticking out his tongue, after dodging the falling glass shards, Naruto picked up a different dish and ran to another shelter. "If you just stopped being such a bastard!" He yelled, chucking the platter from behind the overturned chair.

The Uchiha child glared as he caught the plate, still moving, on his fingertips. "Maybe if you weren't such a dobe." He said, unemotional as ever. He picked up a closed mustard cup, balancing it on his foot as he grabbed a spoon. "Now." Sasuke then began to twirl the spoon to get it spinning as fast as the platter, preparing to throw it. "Time to put you in your place." He then kicked the cup at Naruto, using the propulsion to spin and throw the spoon at the same time.

Naruto, using the skills he had learned from being Kakashi's student, flipped onto a table. "Not if I do it first!" He quickly picked up another plate, chucking it at the boy across the room. Unluckily for Iruka, Sasuke blocked the plate and sent it promptly flying to the child.

Iruka growled as Sasuke's order landed on him, the extra tomatoes being crushed into his hair, but still protecting Haiku with his body. "I would like it if you ended this soon." He said, craning his head up to look Kakashi through one eye, the other was closed to avoid the tomato liquid from going into it. Kakashi shrugged, enjoying the free entertainment.

The other ninja in the restaurant had stopped eating; instead choosing to watch the two teens fight it out. Many were in the process of chewing, stray noodles sticking out of their closed mouths. A man was watching intently, not noticing that his food was halfway to his mouth, snapping out of his trance when the noodles fell back into his bowl with a splash. A woman shrieked when Naruto's chopstick deflected the spoon, both weapons imbedded in her table and still quivering from the force.

A door creak was heard opening in the quiet and every head in the area turned to see the waitress coming out from behind the kitchen counter, a bowl resting on her head with two more balanced on each arm. Her eyes were closed, so she was obviously using a ninja talent of the sort, walking over to a table and setting down the dishes with a practiced air. "May you enjoy your meal!" She said cheerfully, brushing her hands on her short skirt.

She turned, finally seeing the destruction that had happened to the restaurant. Instead of shock, like many believed the girl would have, anger seeped into the eyes of the waitress. "What did you do!" She exploded, while walking over to Naruto and Sasuke. Both boys, forgetting about their fight, chose this as the moment to join forces against evil. Mainly, a woman surrounded by many sharp objects and who was currently peeved off.

Nobody was eating; everyone's attention was now on the trio. "This all comes out of my paycheck!" The girl continued, striding over to the teens and grabbing both by the fronts of their shirts. "If you're done wrecking Ichiraku Ramen," She dragged the boys over to the door, kicking it open with a sandaled foot, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The neko girl then promptly tossed both out the door and turned around, clamping her hands in a final way.

She bowed deeply, her ribbons going past her to almost reach her knees. "I apologize for any inconvenience those ninja might have caused for you all." She gestured to the area, some places still smoking from the recent battle. "This shall all be repaired in a few moments. I apologize again and may you all enjoy the remainder of your meals." She then walked back behind the counter, to probably see what other damage she could spot from the different viewpoint.

The murmuring of the restaurant slowly began again, the clinking of chopsticks against the plates covering quieter conversations. "You want to wait?" Kakashi asked Iruka, jostling the child out of his actions of tugging a strand of tomato out from his pigtail. "Earth to chunin."

"Not really." Iruka yawned, "Not hungry." He continued, hugging Haiku and nuzzling into Kakashi. "But I'm going to have to change. Tomato doesn't dry well." He added, idly scraping a bit of the red vegetable from his overalls.

"Plus you want to go to sleep." The man said, commenting on the child's habit of yawning. He walked past the other sitting ninja to the entrance, sidestepping the fallen debris and thinking of a punishment for the two who caused it. "I'll see if the baths are open. If they aren't, well… You'll just have to live with being the lord of tomato past until tomorrow." A grunt of annoyance floated up from where Iruka was sitting in the scarecrow's arms.

The night was pleasantly cool compared to the stifling heat of the restaurant, a light breeze ruffling through Kakashi's hair. The jounin stopped near the entryway, thinking about if he should go directly to the baths or wander around the village for a while. "Are we leaving?" Iruka asked, looking up at the one who held him.

"Maybe…" Kakashi drawled, fondly patting the child on the head. "But that depends on if we go home or not and find someone." He began to walk in the direction of his house, "You should never go to the bathhouse without someone else, you know." The ninja said, turning his body slightly so they continued to walk in circle over circle, coming closer to his house every curve.

Iruka growled, the sound coming small from his throat. "If you're going to keep going in circles, I'm going to start humming." The child said, beginning a nasally tune that would grate the nerves of any saint. And the great ninja Hatake Kakashi was anything but a saint.

He could only stand a minute of the pitching melody.

"If you don't stop that right now…" He grated through his teeth, trying to control the hand that was lifting to kill the child in his arms.

Iruka grinned, hugging Haiku close, "You'll what? Smite me?" He said, giggling and rubbing his head against Kakashi, effectively leaving a tomato stain on the green vest. "I don't think you can do that, but how about this? If I beat you in brains, we'll go to the baths. You win, we will go to your house."

"Like you'd ever beat me in a challenge of intellect." Kakashi said, sure in his victory against the child.

Kakashi hissed as he slid into the water, relaxing only when more than half of his body was under the steaming water. 'Damn little kid… Thinks he's so smart.' He thought, allowing the heat to take away the demands and stresses of his current life.

The only sounds in the silence, the roar of the lion head fountains gushing water into the tubs, were muted from the thick steam. A splash was heard on the other side of the dividing wall, revealing that there was a woman, or more, in the baths at the same time as the scarecrow. Only one other person was on the same side of the baths at this time with Kakashi, but he was a little smaller due to the copy ninja.

His hitai-ate and clothing in a changing room locker, along with Iruka's, left Kakashi naked except for a towel wrapped around the bottom half of his face. He rested his elbows on the tiled edge surrounding him, glancing around to try and find out where the little hellion was. 'It could be worse.' He thought, finally unwinding the rest of the way as the water lapped at his lower chest, 'A lot of people could be here.' His train of thought stopped, 'Then again, if a lot of people were here, the brat wouldn't act up as much.'

As that thought left his mind, the jounin was hit from the front by a spray of water. Snapping from his tranquility, Kakashi glared at Iruka who was floating innocently next to a huge fountain. Brown eyes looked over, shock sprinkled faintly over the youngster's face. "You don't think I did it, do you?" He asked, a small hand coming up from the water to land on his chest in an offended way.

"You're the only one here." Kakashi responded, his muscles tensing again, except much lazier in the hot water. "And I think your days are numbered, little boy."

Iruka frowned, "Fine. Don't believe me." He then pointed at something behind Kakashi, "Even though she did do it." He grumbled, floating over to a step to sulk on.

"What are you talking about?" The man asked, turning to look behind him, only to find Kurenai resting on top of the dividing wall smiling down. Mentally screaming at the sight, he chose instead to glare at the woman. "What are you doing here?"

The woman rested her head on her crossed arms, "Can't I enjoy my spare time with a soothing soak. Plus, it isn't a crime to come to the baths, is it?" She glanced over to the child. "So that's what Iruka looks like now a days. I heard rumors but couldn't believe them until I saw it for myself. He's so cute; don't know why the Hokage is letting you take care of him instead of me." She grumbled, her face changing to that of a pout and scaring Kakashi even more so.

Kakashi reminded himself to kill Iruka after this, "Maybe because he trusts the chunin in my care and knows I won't kill it for fun." He gestured for Iruka to come over, trying not to sigh when the child obeyed for once.

"I wouldn't kill him. He much to kawaii." The jounin said, her hair held up in a loose bun on top of her head. "You want to trade him to me? I'll give you Kiba." She said, eyes gleaming unnaturally. "I have to have the little Iruka." Her smile became insane, as if she was going to leap over the divider and steal the chunin then and there.

"Soothing soak, my ass. He isn't a piece of property to begin with." Kakashi responded, getting out of the water after grabbing Iruka under an arm. "If you want to take care of him, you're going to have to ask him." He glanced down at the child, struggling to get back into the water, "And you'd also have to ask the Hokage. With that said, I'm getting out of here before you kill me with a bar of soap for him then tell the hokage it was an accident."

Kurenai turned to the other women on the side, talking vividly to them before turning back, "But I wanna hold him!" She yelled, shaking her fist to punctuate her point at the retreating Kakashi's back. "If you don't give him to me, I'm going to steal him!" She screamed as Kakashi, not caring that he was naked and walking away from her.

Closing the door behind them, shutting out the steam and the catcalls, the jounin looked down at the blinking Iruka hanging limply from his arm. "This is the last time I go to the baths with you." He growled, grabbing a towel to wrap the child in and then pulling on his pants; not caring that they were becoming wet from his still damp skin. "You understand?"

"Nani?" Iruka began as he pulled his hair into a ponytail, a small grin forming on his lips, "Don't tell me you aren't refreshed, Kakashi-san?" He finished, having to quickly dodge to avoid the sandal that was thrown his way.

To be continued…

Previews

Going to the park; Meeting old friends; Visiting the Hokage.