Disclaimer

I do not own Naruto.

Summary

It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.

Author's Notes

Yes I know that it is summer. And, yes, I know that people should work faster during the summer. I would have been except for one thing; I was more than halfway across the continent I live on with no computer, running water or air.

I was atop the mountains of Colorado, which is almost two miles above sea level. I have lived at sea level for my entire life. It hurts to breath when there's no oxygen.

Anyway, I finished this and the rest of the chapters should come soon. That is, if I'm not whisked away to another remote location that has no electricity…

Plastic Ponies

Kakashi huffed as he sat in the chair outside the Hokage's room. 'You think, since he was the one to call me down, that I would be able in the room to actually see him.' He thought, frowning through his mask at the actions of his leader. Glancing down either hallway to his left and right and seeing no one, Kakashi was just about to leave when the door to his side creaked open to admit his entrance.

"You can come in, Kakashi." The hokage said from inside the room, a wisp of smoke floating through the crack to reveal he was not working at the time as Kakashi thought. In fact, it sounded, and smelled, like the hokage was taking time out for the simpler pleasures in life.

The copy ninja was about to push open the door, being careful not to jostle the child in the nook of his arm, when the elder continued his speech, "Leave Iruka. He doesn't need to hear any of this."

Confused, Kakashi sat Iruka down on the chair where he was sitting a moment before, all the while trying to ignore the feeling of regret that had trickled in when the child left his possession. Stepping into the room, minus the chunin, Kakashi walked to the desk of the leader and prepared for the change of mission to something more dangerous. That was usually the only time Sandaime called another ninja into his room, to talk of the preparations, the mission and the risk of death for the said assignment.

The other man looked up, craning his neck to make sure the child was still outside before beginning, a clone of his closing the door then disappearing in a poof of smoke. The hokage sighed, fingering through a folder in his hand, "We need your help on a certain problem." He glanced up, nodding slightly to a chair in front of him which the scarecrow took, "His name is Nanashi."

"Nobody?" Kakashi questioned, using the literal translation of the name, "Is he that important that I have to switch missions?" Kakashi whined, knowing he sounded like a child but not caring, "Can't you send Gai? Or maybe even Kurenai?" He asked, hoping to get that woman out of his hair.

"No. Evidently this man has been destroying towns and the like." The hokage continued deadpanned, non-pursed, of explaining the few details to Kakashi, "All the specifics are in the folder." He leaned back in his chair, chewing on his pipe thoughtfully, "Since you are the only one suitable for this mission, I'm afraid that your other mission will have to be given to another."

Kakashi automatically tensed at the mention of the child, shifting forward in his chair to gain the hokage's attention, "I don't think it's going to be that easy." He glanced quickly over his shoulder to make sure Iruka hadn't followed, "He's a little… Difficult." He admitted, scratching at his nose underneath his mask.

The elder chuckled quietly, hands folded over his chest, at the jounin in front of him, "Don't tell me you've bitten off more than you can chew, Kakashi?" He asked, laughing outright, "If memory serves me right, which it often does, weren't you the one in the first place who decided it would be fun to shove something down Iruka's throat?" The man smiled at the expression of shock that dawned on the other's face.

"He couldn't be that bad." Sandaime said while tapping his pipe free of ashes, "Iruka is still only a child. So he should only be acting like one. I'll make sure to assign someone who I know who can handle a child." He sighed, tapping his chin in thought, "Maybe one of his students." He added when Kakashi opened his mouth to explain more carefully. "Or maybe Kuranai? You mentioned her before, and she isn't on a mission…"

As if on cue, a crash and a scream were heard from the other side of the door and both men sprang up to investigate. Being the quicker, and younger, of the two, Kakashi reached the door first and yanked the door open with such force he almost hit the hokage in the face. Striding out into the hallway, he noticed something was missing immediately.

'Iruka.' He thought, swiveling his head to search for the child while the other man surveyed the damage caused. Kakashi moved forward, stepping over the debris that littered the floor, checking under pieces of sheet metal, 'He could be anywhere.' He thought, sighing at the prospect of trying to find Iruka in the rubble. A sudden whimper made the jounin snap his head around, his years of training helping him pinpoint the location.

Iruka sniffed as he brushed off a piece of shattered glass, 'Maybe chopping at that big piece of wood was a mistake.' He thought, unintentionally hissing when a sliver of the glass dug into his palm. Biting his bottom lip, the child whimpered and stood to only find Kakashi in front of him. "It hurts." He said, glancing up at the older man and holding out his hand to confirm what he just mentioned.

As Kakashi bent down to pick up the boy, he suddenly disappeared into the arms of another. Namely; another jounin who had had their eyes on the chunin in Kakashi's care for a while.

"Hello, Kakashi!" Kurenai said, laughing behind her hand at the expression on the man's face. She frowned when Iruka squirmed, adjusting her hold so he could barely move, "What a coincidence finding you here! And with ickle little Irukakins!" She grinned, snuggling the boy to her chest, "Too bad you've been assigned to that new mission." She batted her eyelashes, trying to seem innocent but failing when she did the most innocent thing.

"Yeah. Too bad." Kakashi responded falsely, standing up and brushed shards of glass off his pants. He glanced up when a squeak came from Iruka, eyes narrowing at Kurenai's cuddling of the chunin. "Can I have Iruka back, now." He demanded, holding out his arms for the child.

She looked up, shocked, but spotted the hokage only a few feet away, stepping carefully over a broke vase, "But I'm assigned to look after him. Right, Hokage-sama?" She lifted her voice at the last part, making Kakashi whip around to send a pleading look at the elder.

Sandaime, not being hokage for nothing, sensed the tension between the two and so he did the first thing that came to mind:

He played senile

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kakashi smirked triumphantly and praised the gods; Kurenai sighed mournfully and pouted. Iruka was in Kakashi's hold now.

"Last thing I remember, Kurenai was watching Iruka." Kakashi's face fell at this new twist; Kurenai snatched back Iruka quickly and crooned over him. The child was confused.

"But that's when his new mission starts." Kakashi stuck his tongue out at the other jounin when he slipped Iruka back into his arms; Kurenai wondered if he was insulting her underneath his mask. Iruka felt a little disoriented.

"Of course, she should get used to him being around." Kakashi promptly dodged when a shoe came flying at him; Kurenai caught the chunin when he fell. Now Iruka was feeling a little queasy from the movement.

"Kakashi is going to be taking care of him after he finishes his new assignment, though." Kakashi pumped a fist in the air at his victory; Kurenai seethed and ground her teeth. Iruka felt he was going to be sick.

"Then again. Kurenai is a woman and more motherly than you, Kakashi." Kakashi let out a sad whimper at the news; Kurenai started dancing and humming a lively tune. Iruka knew he was going to be sick.

The red-eyed jounin didn't know what hit her. One minute, crowing at her triumph over the copy ninja Kakashi. The next, covered in some sort of vomit. She wilted before the eyes of Kakashi and Sandaime. "Here." She thrust the small child over to the grinning scarecrow, Iruka smiling and swinging his feet. Kurenai walked away, hair plastered flat to her head and her right foot making a squishing noise every time it moved.

Kakashi grinned, not caring that Iruka smelled like rancid puke at the moment, and hugged the boy close. "Do you feel better now?" He asked, a gurgle from the child his only response before Iruka cuddled into his jacket. When the hokage, who had suddenly regained his normal brain, cleared his throat, Kakashi turned to see the old man almost stepping back into his room.

"Your mission is in a day." He popped his pipe into his mouth, "Use that time to prepare for it. And since Iruka hasn't grown yet, you will continue to take care of him. Unless he regains his regular body in the time you are gone."

The scarecrow nodded as he turned, already walking down the hallway and to his house. "Oh, and Kakashi?" The man about faced, the hokage was still out of his room and was glancing around at the damage done to his office as if for the first time. "Tell Shirley that I'm going to need some builders in the morning." He said knowingly, closing the door with the faint click.

"So… How did you have carrots in there?"

Iruka grumbled at the start of the conversation, pushing open the door to Kakashi's house. He stopped at the first step and sat down to pull off his sandals, grimacing when sand fell out and formed a small mound. Tapping his shoes against the wood, to get the rest of the earth out, Iruka pouted when Kakashi sat down next to him. "Go away."

Kakashi sighed, rolled his eyes, and took off his own sandals. Ignoring the exaggerated sighs from the youngster sitting next to him, the ninja continued to remove his leg wraps in the normal fashion. Placing both in their customary spots, and shrugging his vest onto its hook, Kakashi walked into the kitchen to make some coffee. Otherwise know to many of the older ninja, "the beverage of the gods."

The child padded slowly after Kakashi, grimacing at the taste still fresh in his mouth. He was angry with the other man for throwing him around, too much of that had been done to him in the last three days, but he wanted to brush his teeth. So he did the next best thing to not talking.

The scarecrow whipped around when a thud was heard, finding Iruka sitting on the floor and looking up at him with the eyes. As he was about to ask what was wrong the child started to cry. And cry. And cry. "What do you want?" He asked, placing his moo-moo cup back on the counter to pick up the boy. "If you stop crying I'll give you some coffee." Bribery was usually the way into a child's heart.

It didn't work. Therefore Kakashi, being the resourceful ninja that he was, used Iruka's sadness for his own use.

"Hello Mr. Ukki-chan!" He held the child over his plant, smiling when he successfully watered his plan back to new life. "You look good today." Kakashi set Iruka on the couch, turning to continue talking to his life companion. This shocked Iruka; instead of getting what he wanted he was being ignored because of a stupid plant.

"I know I didn't talk to you or anything in the last few days," Kakashi bowed apologetically at his fern, "but I've been busy with my new mission." The plant didn't move and the copy ninja took that as an 'all is well, I forgive you Kakashi-san.' "I love you Ukki-chan!" He picked up the plant and hugged it quickly before placing it back down on its special stool.

Suddenly the plant shifted a leaf, warning Kakashi of the oncoming danger. He turned just in time to see Iruka jumping on him. "You're ignoring me!" Iruka cried, rubbing his face into Kakashi's shirt.

"Maybe." Kakashi said, smiling down at the child in his arms, "But now I think it's time for you to brush your teeth or something because you reek." When a growl vibrated through his chest, Kakashi patted the dolphin's head playfully. "You're lucky that I bought some of those type of things from the store."

He then walked down the hallway to his bathroom, opening the door and switching on the light. Iruka, finally getting what he wanted, hopped out of his caretaker's arms and darted over to the sink. "You're going to need help." Kakashi said, leaning against the doorway to watch the child struggle with the taller sink.

"Nope." Iruka said as he pushed an assortment of things from the bathroom near the sink to form a type of tower, which he climbed on. "I'm doing fine." The chunin grabbed a toothbrush and scrubbed at his teeth, a strained smile allowing him to cover every inch inside with the pasty white stuff.

"Whatever." Kakashi said, moving into his own room and floofing a pillow. Taking off his shirt, the ninja undressed and slid into his bed and sighed happily. After that he cursed and got up again, walking back into the kitchen to turn off his coffee maker. Pouring the liquid out, he put his cow mug back into the cabinet and left the pot in the sink to wait for cleaning until tomorrow.

The pitter-patter of small feet alerted Kakashi that Iruka was on the move yet again. Trusting him to not leave the house, the ninja yawned and strolled back to his room for some much needed sleep. The day was taking its toll on the man and he just wanted to sleep.

He collapsed onto his bed, sighed loudly into the bunched up blanket near his head. His hitai-ate headband was on the dresser when he opened his eyes. It was because he noticed that it was warm, too warm for someone wearing only boxers, and glanced down to find Iruka snuggling against his stomach.

Not trying to figure out how the child got there, without him noticing no less, Kakashi poked him in the head. "Don't you have Haiku to do that to?" He asked, amusement slowly leaking into his voice. A muffled response was heard from Iruka before he burrowed deeper into the man's front. "I think you should get your horse."

Iruka looked up, his eyes almost closed, "Haiku and me are fighting." He yawned, covering it with a hand he pulled from underneath his head, "He thought that I tried to kill him last night when I rolled over on him."

Kakashi rolled his eyes upwards, "Then why don't you go sleep somewhere else? You don't need to sleep with me." He paused, mentally cringing at the wrongness of his choice of words; "You're a big boy now."

When the child didn't answer he shifted his weight to see if Iruka was asleep only to find the child, with his forehead furrowed, thinking hard. Kakashi tilted his head down to see what was wrong when the boy looked up, smiling widely before snuggling closer to the much larger ninja. "You make the monsters go away." Iruka whispered, continuing to smile even though his eyes were closed.

Opening his mouth to answer, Kakashi stopped. The chunin was already asleep, nestled beside his stomach. Sighing to himself, the copy ninja relaxed against the covers and allowed his own eyelids to flutter downwards.

Iruka sighed as he awoke the next day, recharged and alert of the world around him. About to jump from the bed and stretch, an arm came crashing down to land across his waist. Trying not to yell from the sudden movement, the dolphin glanced to see who exactly was blocking him from moving.

A snore, really heavy breathing, blew from Kakashi's mouth, causing Iruka to stifle a giggle that threatened to erupt. Deciding that it was time for waking, and it being a little uncomfortable with the arm right under his ribs, the chunin prepared to stand up and get something to eat. He didn't feel like stretching any more in his current predicament.

"Hungry." He whimpered, yelping at what Kakashi did next.

Still asleep, the body of the copy ninja worked on its own, pulling the heat source closer to its body. Iruka struggled against the arms of steel, looking for another way out but couldn't find one so he just relaxed and allowed himself to be dragged against the older man.

An hour had passed and Iruka was still working on his plan to escape from the clutches of the evil, evil, Kakashi-san. Deciding that it was time for extreme measures, Iruka did the first thing that came to mind when the arm swung over and onto him. Opening his mouth, and silently asking the gods for their protection, he bit down onto the cupped hand that was near his mouth.

Eyes snapping open at the sudden pain, Kakashi sprung out of bed to defend himself from the enemy only to find a smiling Iruka waving at him from underneath the covers. "Why'd you do that?" He asked, grinding his teeth underneath his mask at the actions of the child.

Iruka frowned, pushing the covers off and standing on the bed to become chest height with the other ninja, "You were using me as a stuffed toy!" He yelled, pointing at the man accusingly.

When Kakashi was about to respond Iruka pounced on him, landing in his arms and nuzzling up against his bare chest. "I'm hungry. What do we have to eat?" The copy ninja balked at the 'we' part, silently wondering if children always had mood swings in the morning, as he walked into the kitchen with the youngster in his grip.

Setting him down on the table, Kakashi opened the fridge to find the case of strawberries that he had bought yesterday. Hefting it out, the child's eyes widened and he jumped up and down on the wood table.

"I love strawberries!" He cried, latching onto the box before it was even set down. "Can we have some, Kakashi-san? Please? I promise to be good if we have some strawberries!" He pouted when the man paused to consider the question, thinking that meant no and he would have none of the red fruit.

"You say you'll be good?" Iruka nodded, "I going to be leaving tomorrow morning and you're going to have to stay with Kurenai after I leave." The child gasped and began to shake his head, making little whimpering noises at mention of the other jounin. "And knowing her she'll probably invite over Sakura to help."

Iruka's silence made Kakashi look up from his premonitions of doom for the child the next day to find the boy already shoving the produce into his mouth, no long paying attention to the horrible things the man was saying. Grinding his teeth in frustration, Kakashi picked the small child by the scruff of his shirt and lifted him so that he was eyelevel with his mismatched eyes.

"You're ignoring me?" He asked the child, who was looking even more adorable with his face stuffed with strawberries and eyes growing wider by the second. "Well? Are you?" The child shook his head, stopped, and then nodded his head while trying to grin with a full mouth.

Iruka smiled shyly, allowing his mouth to open partially and let Kakashi see a portion of the red fruit before it hit him on the side of his cloth covered cheek.

The man's mind registered the slimy object sliding down and the only thing he could do to retaliate was to glare at the child who was now innocently chewing the rest of his ammo. "I hate you." He said, wondering how the morning's peace could change to hell so quickly.

The boy, instead of feeling offended or, even worse, guilty, lifted his arms and slid from his pajama top to land on the floor. While Kakashi stared stupidly at the empty shirt he was still holding, Iruka ran off, back into the bedroom with some sort of destruction in mind.

His reflexes finally reacting, resulting in the strawberry traveling further down his bare chest, the jounin spun around to chase after the child. Skidding to a stop at the doorway, he narrowly avoided a kunai that imbedded itself in the wall. Kakashi blinked at the weapon, which was now perpendicular to the wall, before turning to look in his room for the culprit.

Humming idly to himself, Iruka continued to root through the huge trunk he had seen when he woke up and promised to explore after he had eaten.

Who knew Kakashi-san had such cool stuff in here?

Picking up another weapon he threw it over his shoulder, expecting to hear the sound of metal hitting hard wood but being disappointed by a different sound. A little bit quieter, a muted grunt came from behind and Iruka knew that no wall was behind him.

The youngster turned and was greeted with a most unusual sight. His caretaker was standing in the doorway, most likely frowning underneath his mask, holding the shuriken in his grip, in his snail printed boxer shorts, glaring at him, while a trail of red led itself from the man's cheek to approximately his navel. The strawberry fell to the ground with a soft "plop" and that seemed to be the signal for the dam to break.

Screaming when Kakashi suddenly lunged for him, Iruka did the first thing that came into his three year old head. That thing was to hide; he could never hope to beat a full-grown jounin in a fair fight. So he scampered under the bed to bide him some time until he could form a plan of retaliation.

Kakashi frowned when he noticed his prey had escaped, punching his pillow as if it was the cushions fault. Deciding that this was a good outlet for his anger, he punched it again. Only this time a squeak accompanied the punch.

Confused when he looked under and found no dog toy, and thinking his linens were possessed, the great copy ninja jumped onto his bed, as if a mouse or other small rodent was attacking him. All the while, simultaneously throwing the pillow to the floor. Then he reverted back to his one true skill. Taunting.

"You thought you were all that, didn't you? But I put you back in your place, oh yes I did! I snap at you in Z-formation!" And performing the said action, Kakashi destroyed the simple pillow's already low self-esteem.

Since this was one of his greater taunts, it was required for the man to stand up on the bed and point down at the lower, stuffed, being in scorn.

Iruka, who was still under the bed, was being crushed by the jounin's weight. Deciding that the time was right for being found, the child opened his mouth to scream only for the mattress to fall harder on his small frame. This led for a strangled yell to come from his mouth.

Kakashi stopped his jumping on the bed; it was one of his favorite pastimes after all, when a sound reached his highly tuned ears. 'It could be Timmy caught in a well…' He thought, frowned and shook his head. "Maybe it was a duck?" The elite jounin questioned the air, leaving space open for it to respond if it wanted to.

"Or maybe it was me." Iruka said, crawling out from underneath the bed. "When was the last time you looked under there?" He asked, brushing off huge dust bunnies that were bigger then some small animals.

Instead of getting attacked, like Iruka thought was going to happen, he received a dull, blank stare from the gray haired man. "There's stuff under there?" The older ninja asked, falling onto his stomach to glance under his bed with the curiosity of a squirrel.

Iruka groaned at Kakashi's actions and looked up at the clock, grimacing at what he saw and wondering when he was going to be saved from this torture.

It was only 7:43 and he had the rest of the day to look forward to.

To be continued...

Previews:

Well, you all know that little Iruka is going to be left with Kurenai when Kakashi leaves for his mission.

Iruka is going to learn a little more about his past, maybe… If I feel like it.

And Kurenai shall join forces with Sakura, thus dooming the small chunin we have come to love.