Disclaimer
Me no own… I hate you all.
Summary
It all began with a harmless joke on an unsuspecting chunin. Nothing bad was supposed to happen, really, and Kakashi was supposed to go scot-free. Instead, he got saddled with the finished problem: One super-cute Iruka chibi.
Author's Notes
Ah, summer. The time when everything is supposed to go faster. Where writing should go faster and fulfill what the reader's want.
Except for the fact that my mother thinks I should fill everyday with some sort of activity.
Sunday: Only day for writing
Monday: Tennis practice
Tuesday: Tennis practice
Wednesday: Tennis practice
Thursday: Tennis practice
Friday: Oboe and piano lessons
Saturday: Horseback riding
I'm done. Go read.
Plastic Ponies
Sakura sighed mournfully, this had to be the fourth day that her past teacher was changed into a little kawaii child and she had only seen him a couple of times. The pink haired girl huffed at this, crossing her arms in front of her bowl of cereal, wondering what she had to do to find out where her teacher was. Maybe she could ask Kurenai-san, she would probably know where Iruka-sensei was. Her eyes narrowed at this, which meant she would have to share the child.
"Sakura, eat your cereal and stop glaring at it. It won't change the type. Though I am sorry, honey, that they didn't have the kind you liked."
The ninja in training glanced up at her mother, who rolled her eyes and went back to making eggs for her father, before picking up her spoon and slapping it into the bowl. "Don't take that tone with your mother." Her father said, looking over his newspaper at his daughter. He smiled at his wife when she placed his pate in front of him on the table, kissing her gently on the cheek as she left.
"I wasn't doing that." Sakura huffed, shoving a spoonful of the soggy cereal into her mouth. "I was just thinking about this little kid I saw and how cute he was."
In a flash her mother was ducked down next to her, hands clenched to the table, and smiling hugely. "Does this mean my little Sakurawura wants to have a baby? I do want a grandchild soon, so that all the other moms can't brag about their own bouncing balls of happiness." She smiled again, pinching her child's cheek, her eyes gleaming in the light of any mother at the mention of grandchildren and the pitter-patter of little feet on the way.
Sakura, frightened at this sudden change in her mother, stared at her father across the table for help. "She's your mother." He said, continuing to read about how a man was in critical condition from getting squashed by a soda machine. "Do you have training today?" Her father asked, flipping to a different page. Idle conversation was always a good thing to help develop bonds within the family, or something like that.
"Um… No, Kakashi-sensei cancelled it for the week because he has a new mission." She responded, relaxing when he mother noticed that the toast was burning and scurried off to save the bread from death by incineration, thus leaving her to eat more of her cornflakes in peace from interrogation.
"Oh yes, I heard about that!" Mrs. Haruno commented, shrugging her shoulders at her daughter as she flipped a pancake in the skillet, "Kakashi-san having to take care of little Iruka!" She laughed, not noticing the glare from her child she was receiving, "Too bad he has to leave for the other mission." or the change from anger to curiousness on her child's face at this phrase.
Smiling to herself, Sakura pulled in next to the table so her father could exit and directed her huge grin to her mother. "What 'mission' do you mean, oh-great-mother-of-mine-who-gave-birth-to-me-herself?" She asked innocently, wishing against fate that her parent would not ask what was in her eye, since both were gleaming at the mere mention of a chance for Iruka to be hers for a few days. Inner Sakura was kneeling at a small shrine and praying for the help of the gods.
Luckily her mother didn't notice any of this, having run out of the house to give Mr. Haruno his lunch that he forgot yet again on the counter; the lazy man.
Stepping back into the house while brushing back a strand of her pale pink hair, the mother paused when she felt a chill in the air. It was one of those skills that only the maternal would ever know, the ability to feel a storm looming before it exploded on the lands. Sure the storm was usually your own child, and the lands the village, but that wasn't important.
"What were you saying, Sakura? I was a bit distracted by your father." She turned and waved at the man outside, smiling and blowing a kiss.
"I just wanted to know what mission Kakashi-sensei is going to be going on." The girl asked, all thoughts of eating her breakfast out of her head. Only what would happen to the chibi bioshen while Kakashi was gone was on her mind.
Her mother stopped, thinking hard about how to answer the question without giving too much away to her daughter. Her finger still pressed to her chin, from wondering, she responded carefully. "Nothing big." A frown at the mention of those two words. "He'll only be gone a couple of days, honey! You don't need to be anxious." She nodded, happy at the way she explained.
"But what's going to happen to Iruka-san during that time?" Sakura asked, looking at her mother with what she hoped were sorrowful, concerned eyes.
"The hokage talked to me about it and said that maybe one of Iruka's students was going to take care of him, at least until Kakashi comes back. Why do you want to know?"
Instead of answering, like a good daughter should, Sakura stood up and dumped her half full bowl into the sink and hugged her mom. "I have to go, see you later!" She waved at the both as the door closed, lowering her hand to rub it against the other diabolically. "Now, time to find Iruka-sensei."
This alleged teacher was currently sitting on the bed and glaring at Kakashi, who was trying to figure out what had happened last night between the child and his stuffed horse. Also why the child decided to use him in place of the four-legged plush.
"Why does Haiku think you tried to kill him?" He asked, flopping down onto the mattress next to the chunin. He couldn't beat the child, so it was easier to join him and his way of thinking.
Iruka sighed and turned to look at the floor, finding one of the dust bunnies he pulled out very interesting. When Kakashi nudged him in the ribs, besides it being very uncomfortable, it also made the child talk. "He thinks I want to kill him because I accidentally," He frowned, twirling a piece of his hair, before continuing at a whisper, "tried to smother him when we went to sleep…"
Ignoring that for the moment, though it did send a chill down his spine at a child speaking so freely at killing an animal, even if it was stuffed and imaginary. The ninja yawned and flopped backwards, bouncing slightly on the mattress and pulling the boy onto his chest so he could look at the smaller male as he was talking. "When I leave for my mission, you won't have anyone to talk to; with you being angry at Haiku and all."
The chunin nodded, resting his head against Kakashi's chest and relaxing in the patch of sun they were laying in.
"Now, you can either make up with Haiku or you're going to have to find a new friend." He said, craning his head to look at Iruka before allowing it to fall against the bed, "Something tells me you don't want to make up with Haiku." He declared to the ceiling, wondering if it was time to get up and go into the village yet. "So it's my job to find you someone else."
Iruka smiled, pushing a strand of hair from his face as he curled into a smaller ball. "Yup, but this new person has to listen to me! He can't be like Haiku and argue with me all the time." He grumbled into Kakashi's chest, snorting out his nose at the white horse that was currently in the living room, buried in Mr. Ukki's plant soil. The child smiled even wider at that thought.
Pondering the requirements he had to follow, Kakashi knew nothing that could fill all of them and make Iruka happy at the same time.
Standing up, with the child still latched onto him, the copy ninja walked out of his room. "Now, you'll like this new friend even if he isn't as cool as Haiku?" He asked, moving down the hallway and into the living room, where he plopped down onto the couch and looked around to find the new companion of the boy. "Here." He grabbed a cushion next to him, "His name is Spot. He'll be your new friend."
Instead of the reaction he hoped for, an angry kid was fun to mess with; all he got for he carefully planed mischief was Iruka crawling off his stomach to cuddle the square pillow to his chest. "Thank you, Kakashi-san." The child said, standing up to hug the older ninja around the next, the cushion forgotten for the moment near his feet.
Now used to the outward affection of the boy, Kakashi just leaned in. That was until he felt something pressed against his cheek. It was warm and a little wet, thus leading him to believe he was being kissed by the younger chunin. But he couldn't investigate that, Iruka was already in the other room, to get ready for the daytime, and he had lost his chance to ask the child what it meant.
'It meant nothing.' He thought, hand coming up to rest on the still slightly damp cloth, which covered his cheek, 'He's just a small child who sees me as a guardian. Little kids always show affection to their parents this way… Yeah that's right.' The ninja thought unsurely, getting up to go into his bedroom and to change for the day. 'When he changes back, none of this will mean anything.'
He pushed down the feeling of dread that surfaced in his gut, blaming it on the indigestion of eating that weird stuff he found in his kitchen a few night's before. Whether of not he liked it, the elite jounin was becoming attached to the child, even though he tried hard not to, and would miss Iruka when he left.
You always feel a certain fondness to the person who steals your first kiss.
"Are we there yet?" The kiss stealer asked, perched on top of Kakashi's head and flattening his bushy hair. "You said we were going to go somewhere really, really, really cool and I think that you're lying." Iruka said, lowering his head.
It would be something strange to see, the great copy ninja Hatake Kakashi giving a piggyback ride to a child. Especially if whenever a ninja looked at him straight in the face, they would also see the pair of small legs wrapped loosely around his neck. They would probably snicker behind their hand, too, if they knew who the child was, but it was a secret, so naturally the entire village knew about it and the conditions of the child curse.
Gritting his teeth, Kakashi shook his head to jostle the small child, "We're almost there. Stop asking that question every three seconds." He muttered, weaving through the crowd and approaching the place of interest.
Iruka sighed mournfully, glancing around at the people surrounding them and spotting something that chilled him to the bone. A head of pink was moving along in the ocean of bodies and at the mere thought of Sakura sent the child on edge. So he looked in the other direction, if he didn't see her then she wasn't there. But as he turned to look somewhere else, a body moving stealthily towards him and Kakashi made him do a double take.
"Um… Kakashi-san?"
"We aren't there yet so don't ask." Kakashi replied, unaware of the danger he was in. He continued at the leisurely pace he had set, fingers itching to take out Come Come Paradise.
"Can you go a little bit faster? The monster is near us and the crazy lady is trying to sneak up on you, from the side. I don't know why..."
The copy ninja faltered in his step, confusing a couple that were following, when he tried to understand what the child's phrase meant before it dawned on him. "So Kurenai is trying to steal you from me again, and Sakura's prowling the market looking for Sasuke." A motion from atop his head told him that Iruka shook his head, "Or searching for you."
Movement halted. The predators had spotted each other and were closing in on their prey even faster, not choosing to team up instead trying to outrun the other.
The tension made the hairs on the back of Kakashi's neck stand up, forcing him to jog to the establishment of truth. The place where childhood dreams were made and broken. Where children spent every cent of money they owned and still came back for more.
The Konohagakure Arcade.
Stepping inside the sliding doors, the ninja quickly dodged behind a change machine just as Sakura and Kurenai pushed through.
"I saw him first so he's mine!" The girl yelled, glaring at the taller woman and frowning when she didn't respond. "And I'm going to take care of him when Kakashi-sensei leaves for his mission." She got the results she wanted.
Kurenai's eyes narrowed dangerously, her red orbs seeming to glow dangerously, "Is that so, little girl? Well I have information from the hokage that proves you wrong." They glared at each other for a moment, lost in their hatred for the other that they didn't notice the crowd who had stopped to stare at them.
Shoved behind the coin machine, arcades weren't known for their cleanliness, Iruka gasped quietly when a piece of dust shifted to land on his nose. Before Kakashi could turn and help, he was checking to make sure either female couldn't see them and his huge poof of hair, the child had sneezed.
Both predators turned, silently challenging the person who sneezed to come out into the open since they thought the person was one from the crowd. When no one stepped forward Kurenai crossed her arms in irritation, "I want to know who sneezed right now, or else all heads will roll." She commanded the people, the silence being broken by the sounds of the loud games surrounding her.
And so Iruka, his conscience screaming to be a good child and fess up, squirmed from the arms of his protector and walked out into the jaws of the lion.
"Oh, little Iruka-cun!" The red-eyed jounin squealed, ducking down to grab the child to her chest and properly smother him. "What are you doing here?" As if she didn't know, "I was wondering what you were doing with the old goat Kakashi."
Then the said goat pushed out from the machine, his stature towering over Kurenai even though a few inches separated their heights. "I believe you found my charge." He growled, glaring at the woman who was still cuddling the child. "And I would like him back. Now."
"Nope. You don't get Iruka-cun so easily, you have to fight to get him back." She smiled wickedly as she said this, watching the other ninja boil at the words.
Sakura's gaze went from teacher to teacher, judging how mad they were, before she spoke up. "I want to take care of Iruka-sensei." She said, flinching when Kurenai whipped around to frown at the girl, "And I am prepared to take you on, Yuhi-san."
Smiling while setting the child down, which ran over to Kakashi and grabbed his leg, Kurenai sauntered over to the pink haired student, "And what makes you think you can take on a jounin, huh? Your great talent? Being top of your class in weapon skill?" She commenced her evil smirk but stopped when Sakura didn't wither under her glare.
"I challenge you to Dance Dance Ninja." She declared, pointing at the jounin and laughing evilly. Kurenai raised an eyebrow and wondered if all of Kakashi's students were insane.
The crowd gasped, some screaming in fright and falling to the ground to twitch in pain, while others began to gossip to each other about who would lose and the rules. As this hysteria went on, Kakashi slowly made his way to the door, not wanting to get into this catfight and only wishing to get out in one piece.
All his hopes were dashed when an exceptionally large woman who was big boned, she wasn't fat, toppled in front of him to properly seal the doors with her bulk. That wasn't fat.
Iruka sighed mournfully, getting a better hold on Kakashi's jacket so the scary lady wouldn't take him again. "Maybe there's a back door." He said, moving slightly to glance over the jounin's shoulder. His eyes widened with the sight, "I think Kakashi-san should run now…"
Never the one to listen to advice, and not having the brains to fear anything, the ninja turned to meet his fate. Which was in the form of Sakura with a headset.
"You have to play too, to complete the team of three." She said cheerfully, catching the man's free hand when he turned to run. "You do know how to play Dance Dance Ninja?" She asked over her shoulder, pushing past the people so she could move deeper into the arcade. "It has to be the greatest game in the world!" The girl yelled, pulling along Kakashi until they arrived at a raised platform.
Kurenai was already waiting, tapping her foot to the music that was pounding out of the tall speakers. She turned as they tromped up the steps, a grin coming to settle on her features, "We've already come to an agreement, if you shall.
"Whoever gets the most points will take care of Iruka, even after Kakashi returns." He smile widened, "If by some chance Kakashi wins, then the next person will take care of Iruka during the period that Kakashi is gone. Though I highly doubt a man is going to win this game." She gestured to the huge screen, which showed that the game required dancing, nothing more and nothing less.
Sakura nodded, "Also, the team has to win the game for this to take place. And you can't just lose, Yuhi-san, Kakashi-sensei, thinking that will make it go back to the way it was." She said, crossing her arms and scowling at Kakashi, who was holding Iruka to his chest, "That would be forfeit of Iruka-sensei and all privileges."
'I hate women.' The ninja thought, looking at the game and figuring out that you had to follow the arrows as the main goal, 'And little girls…' He added as an afterthought, placing Iruka and the ground. "Stay away from the edges." He instructed, pointing to the crowd to make a point; they couldn't get out either because of the not-fat woman's vastness. "If you fall you could get hurt."
Iruka nodded, moving from the frame's end to get closer to the huge flat panels on the ground. "You are going to win, right?" He asked, pressing one of the arrows on the floor, his voice was tinged with uncertainty.
"Of course. I can't let them win, can I? You're on the line." He smiled under his mask, chucking the small child underneath the chin before stepping onto his square.
A simple movie began on the huge screen, the game feeling the weight of three people and automatically starting, explaining how to play and the jumping from arrow to arrow as you "danced" to the music. Then the game started, the music trickling from the speakers and making sense to the arrows on the television.
Sakura smiled and nodded to the jounin's on either side of her, "We'll do a practice run, so you get used to it." She slipped a few coins into the machine, stepping back and focusing her gaze on the screen. A simple tune began, again showing how to play followed by the disclaimers that screamed 'don't sue! It's your own fault if you stare at bright lights and go into seizures! Not ours!'
Kurenai nodded, turning to Iruka and blowing a kiss before squaring off on her own square panel. The jounin was sure of her victory, she played Dance Dance Ninja tons of times when she was little and games didn't change that much from when she was young. Could they?
He hated his life. It's as if the moment he shoved the potion down Iruka's throat the gods had pitted themselves against him. Sure it was fun the first few days, the kid was the cutest thing you ever laid your eyes on, but the copy ninja just couldn't help feeling like he was being played every time the child hugged him. Kakashi groaned as he practiced, his mind going blank and just following the arrows.
The boy who started this entire competition yawned and waved at the crowd who were milling about the stage; it was free entertainment and the snack stand was only a few feet away for their convenience. Iruka sat down on the platform and stared up at the screen, it was like watching television. Only he had to tilt his head back really far, which made him dizzy, and try not to fall off the stage, because Kakashi-san told him not too. All in all, he was a pretty happy three-year old.
"At least it can't get any worse…" Kakashi muttered, missing another arrow as it floated past. He had no sense of rhythm so the enemies were currently beating the team's score. The gods laughed at his foolishness and made it ten times worse.
"Hi, Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto chirped, running towards the stage and pushing people out of the way so he could get closer. Sasuke followed behind more slowly, the crowd parting because he was sending them all death glares. "What are you doing playing this game?" He asked, leaning on the platform and looking up.
Iruka crawled over to him, still choosing his favorite students over others, "He's fighting the monster and crazy lady so they leave me alone." He said proudly, nodding his head and crossing his arms.
Naruto laughed and took the little boy onto his shoulders, mirroring what his teacher was doing only fifteen minutes ago.
Kakashi sighed and missed even more arrows. When the first game ended he was in last place, which Sakura crowed about and flaunted that she was going to win and take care of Iruka-sensei. She then shoved a couple more quarters in before cursing lightly, ladylike, "I have only twenty bucks. I'm going to go get some change." The pink haired girl then skipped off the stage and left the two jounin's alone.
" I know I can beat you, Kakashi-san." Kurenai said, smiling innocently and gesturing to the screen. "I'm ahead of you by five million points."
Kakashi, instead of stooping to her level, slid the few quarters they needed and the fanfare lassoed Sakura back onto her pad. 'Well, I know that it can't get any worse than this…' He thought, squaring his jaw and turning to the monitor, ready to take on whatever came his way and beat it to the ground. That is, until he saw whom his character was.
The pigtailed blond winked at the crowd before performing a split and doing a panty shot, wearing a short schoolgirl outfit.
"I'm doomed."
To be continued...
Previews:
I am so evil, giving Kakashi that type of character to dance as.
The results of the dancing will be in the next chapter.
OH NO!! Iruka kissing Kakashi?! Why, why isn't the dolphin older? Why?!