Author's Note: It hasn't taken me forever to update. Note the sarcasm. I promise not to be this bad ever again. Unless I get super duper busy and such. Which may happen. A few more chapter's to go! Did I ever mention this would be a short story?

Ch. 2 Something

Lily Evans awoke the next morning in the hospital wing. It had indeed been a dreamless sleep. For that single moment after she awoke she felt a peace she had not felt in months. She sat up in bed and took in her surroundings. As her eyes fell on the bedside table she felt a little shocked. There were cards, candy, balloons and what looked to be a stuffed deer. She picked it up and wondered a loud, "Now who on earth—"

"Miss Evans thank goodness you're awake! Quite a few people stopped by this morning, but I couldn't let them wake you. Kids never understand that the sick need their sleep!" Madam Quince was bustling around the infirmary making beds and such. "The headmaster would like to speak with you, but I gave him a good telling to. Honestly, why doesn't anyone want to let you rest?"

Lily stared blankly at the ranting woman. What did Dumbledore want to speak to her about? She knew. Yesterday began to burn its way into her mind again. He would want to talk about her behavior and even want her to tell him how she was feeling.

It was pointless; there was nothing anyone could say that would help her. She was, in fact, dead inside. She wanted to be, at least. The only emotion she felt now was pain. Emotional pain was far worse than physical pain.

Quince kept her in that bloody infirmary for two days. She didn't see much of anyone. Remus and Sirius came by with her homework. Sirius had even taken notes for her in History of Magic. What surprised her more than him taking the notes, was that they were actually decent. She forced a smile at the two boys. They knew it wasn't genuine, but to see Lily smile at all seemed a step in the right direction.

James stopped by as well. He appeared worried. He told her he had rescheduled the prefect meeting for the night that she was released and had made out the patrol schedule as well.

"I was wondering if you could check it over. I'm not sure I did it right."

Lily looked it over. Snape was patrolling with only Slytherins. She pointed this to James. "Yeah, I know." He ran a hand through his hair. Lily cringed. Her cringe made him smile. Finally, he thought, some real emotion. "Everyone except the Slytherins have been complaining that Snape scares them. It wouldn't look to good if our prefects were hexing one another."

When Lily was released, she was to report to Dumbledore's office immediately. As she made her way through the school she couldn't help but wonder how it would go. She felt no need to talk about her friends.

"Ah, Miss Evans, I've been expecting you. Please sit," He gestured to the chair in front of his desk. She sat and the old man smiled kindly. For the first time in her life, Lily was annoyed with the headmaster. She was so sick of everyone treating her so sweetly. She didn't deserve it. She was rude. She brushed people off. She was just a shadow of her former self. She let Rick die.

She let Rick die. She could remember it so clearly he was being brave, stupid even and—"Miss Evans?" Professor Dumbledore's voice pulled her away from the memory. She's lost count of the number of times she had relived it. Now was not the time. "It is not necessary for us to beat around the bush. You and I know why I have called you here today. I would like for you to recount for me the happening of your dream from a few days ago."

Lily looked down. She couldn't meet his eye if she was going to lie to him. "I… I can't remember."

The headmaster slid his half moon spectacles off and looked at her. No, not at her, but past her, through her. He knew. "There are some things in life that we feel should be left unsaid. There are things that we sometimes do not want to say. Sometimes these things should be withheld, but Miss Evans this is not one of those times."

"I'm sorry professor I can't." A tear drop hit her robes.

"The mind is a fickle thing. It has a way of stopping the heart from healing. You must learn to put your heart before all else. Your heart has the power to save our world if you let it."

"I don't understand, sir."

"Your friend Rick offered up his life for you Lily and for a very just cause. You cannot repay him by living a non-life."

When Lily left Dumbledore's office she had no particular direction. She felt numb. She felt fate would have a way of leading her where she needed to be. When she stopped walking it was at the far edge of the lake. The moon was almost full. Remus was safe for a few more nights, she thought. Remus had been through so much. He seemed strong, well put together. His life was burdened greatly, but he never carried as though he wished he was dead.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw a stag walking along the water's edge. It was a beautiful creature. She moved towards it and it finally took notice of her and seemed a bit frightened. "Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you." Lily offered up a hand to the deer, who in turn licked it.

"You know what I wish?" she whispered, feeling a bit absurd talking to a stag. "I wish I live my life again." You can, the stag seemed to tell her with his eyes. "The marauders, Dumbledore, McGonagall, everyone, wants me to move so fast. Maybe I have been grieving for awhile, but what am I supposed to do. If they could only understand." The majestic animal nuzzled her arm and took off into the forest. She sighed.

Later that night, after Lily had returned to the common room and was seated doing her

homework, James Potter fell through the portrait hole. It was a very pathetic display. She let out a soft laugh and looked to the crumpled heap, that was James.

"Do I hear the laughter of an angel?"

"Hello James."

"Ready for our patrol, my lady?" He bowed ridiculously low and the two set off into the castle.

"How've you been?"

"I'd be lying if I said good."

"So don't," he said. It sounded strong and sure, but when her eyes met his she could see the doubt and understanding.

"Like the world stopped and sped up all at once." James just gave her a look that said he expected her to say more, and for the first time she did.