Chapter Three

"Made eeeeggs!" Benny sings out. I jump, nearly walking into the wall. He grins, holding out a plate of yellow scrambled eggs. I instinctively jump again, as I see the outward thrust of his hands, but force myself to calm down. Benny's not going to do anything. He doesn't want anything from me. I still can't stop myself from tugging the sleeves of my sweater down over my hands.

"Where did we get eggs from?" I ask softly, carefully taking the eggs from him and moving to sit down at the table. I should know better than to be scared of him, he treated me so gently all night and he even let me have nightmares and smack him. Right now I feel like I'd do anything for him.

"Well… I was… and I had…" Benny's voice drops to a mumble as he digs forks out of the drawer for us and joins me at the table.

"You want me to buy you beer?" I ask in confusion, taking a little bite of my breakfast.

"No no!" He reaches across the table and grabs my hand. I grin a little as I watch him turn red.

I don't even notice my fingers gently stroking Benny's hand. But I do notice him start to calm down and a smile cross his face. "Come on, Benny. Tell me what you were saying."

He just kind of shrugs, but I can feel him gripping my hand. "I've been living here, Meems. Cuz me and Ali got divorced and I didn't want to rent the apartment out, encase you came back and I wanted to wait for you and…"

I can't talk. All I can do is stare at him, brown eyes taking up half my face. I know he wants me to talk and I know he's getting worried now that I'm not. But I can't bring myself to. Tiny hands grip one of his big ones. He told me this was something he'd never do. When we were together. He told me that he needed Alison. She was his ticket. The other hand is cupping my face. "Meems? Eat some of your eggs, okay? You look all pale… Come on, honey, eat it for me. You're still too skinny, and I just want you to be healthy, okay?"

I numbly take a bite, barely able to function, as his concerned eyes swim into my vision. "Meems, baby… it's okay. Because now I can stay here and take care of you… I'll nurse you back to health, baby." A goofy grin crosses his face and he kisses my knuckles. I force a giggle for him, feeling his soft lips tickle me. I'm starting to come back to my senses. Suddenly, he jumps up and I don't move my head to follow him. No need. He comes dancing back into my view, holding a couple pill bottles. Shit.

"AZT, baby," he rumbles, playing with my hair. "Plus a couple others. I called your doctor this morning, he was pretty shocked to hear from me… mumbled something about you being dead…" He smiles, weakly. "Anyway, I told him what was wrong with you and stuff and… He gave me all these prescriptions for you. So, let's figure out what you need to take and how often and then we can set up your beeper."

I just sit there and listen to Benny ramble as he shoves various pills in my mouth and makes me swallow them with ginger ale. And then, for some reason, my lips are pressed against his and I'm playing with his back. And he's pulled away and is just sitting there, blinking at me. "You got divorced?" I finally whisper. "Because of—"

"Shhh…" he cuts me off, then tenderly presses his lips against mine."It doesn't have anything to do with you. Ali cheated on me and was dumb enough to get caught. I got everything, babe." A soft smile crosses his face. "We're gonna be great, Mimi. We just have to get you all healthy, then we can go on a trip. Maybe I'll take you back to Spain… you can see all the places where your mom grew up, go visit your Nana."

I know my eyes are still huge, even as Benny scoops me up and carries me into the bedroom. He lays beside me and I'm still quiet and shocked. His fingers lightly dance over my body and I swallow hard, trying to regain my senses. "Benny, you can't take me to Spain. It's… it's too much."

He just smiles and starts to kiss along my neck. It's too weird. It's the middle of the day and the window's open and the blinds are up and cars are driving by and he's… "Mimi, nothing's too much. I've gotta make it up to you. Make up for all the shit I've put you through, and that bastard Davis put you through and whatever happened to you while you were gone." I suddenly realize that he's not wearing a shirt and mine is on the way off as a grin slowly spreads across his face.

"Let's go out tonight, Mimi. For real. Let's go out to a nice restaurant and I don't care if people see us together. Then we can go out to a show and…" I still don't say anything and he quickly backpedals, his eyes wide with fright. "Okay. Okay, baby, no show. Not if you don't feel up to it." He's starting to get frantic. "Or a show. No dinner. We'll only do one thing if you're not up for two. Mimi…?"

I shake my head and slowly turn, letting Benny's lips redirect themselves to mine. "I'm okay, Benny. It's just… trippy, is all. It's weird." His arms are around me, big hands fumbling with my bra. "Benny, it clasps at the front." A boyish grin flashes across Benny's face as he moves his hands. "It doesn't feel like we should be doing this, especially during the day. It feels weird to be with a guy who treats me nice and is going to take me out to do these expensive amazing things tonight and—"

Benny cuts me off with a kiss. He's relieved that I don't have any problems with what he's doing. "You just lay back and let Benjamin Coffin the Third give you another amazing thing, baby," he rumbles as I dissolve into giggles at his attempt to be "suave".

And now it's about 2 in the morning and I'm sitting on Benny's lap as he babbles about why the alcohol he bought for us is good quality and how the show was good. "Liked the dark haired singing girl… you should play her."

I think he's a little drunk. He stops babbling and blinks at me. I'm not drunk. "Meems? Something wrong? Why aren't you talking?"

I shrug at him, my hand resting on his strong arm. So much different than Steve's. Guess he still has that whole workout routine thing he used to do when we started dating. "Benny?" I ask quietly. This is the one thing I've been scared to ask him. "How's Roger doing?"

In a flash, the sweet, beautiful man who's been taking care of me for the past two days is gone, and a man I know well is in front of me. "Davis? You want to know about fucking Davis?" he snarls at me. He lets out a hoarse, barking laugh. "Why am I not surprised? It's always been about Davis, hasn't it?"

He's got me pushed up against the couch, his knee between my legs hard, taking rough nips at my body. "You little whore. After all I've fucking done for you… and all you can think of is him. You're mine, bitch, you even let me come inside… how did you stop yourself from screaming his name?" I'm crying. "You dumb little… Roger broke you. He's the reason you're the pathetic little… don't ever talk about him again." I'm crying and he's not doing anything at all. He kisses me harshly, driving my head back into the couch, before releasing me.

All I can do is cry and shake, until I finally find me voice. "Get out. This is my apartment, get out." My voice is steadily gaining strength. "At least Roger never pinned me to my couch and called me names."

He's Benny again. Broken, defeated, lonely Benny, throwing himself at me desperately. "Mimi! I didn't mean—" I glare defiantly at him and just turn my back on him. "Marina Sophia, please."

He uses my real name and I almost break. But I'm not Mimi anymore. I turn and just smack him. "Get out!"

Hurt, deep brown eyes stare at me as they slowly make their way out the door. I don't break down until the door closes and the eyes are gone.

A little girl sits on a new couch, crying her eyes out.

All I can do is watch and think how she—I—didn't deserve a good man at all.