'The Other Side of Eden' Part Six: Brothers' Sin
Genre: Fantasy, romance, adventure, semi-crossover, AU
Warnings: Lots of OOC-ness because I suck like a leech, YAOI, more obscure 'Ragnarok Online' refrences, and OMG INCEST! I'm serious, if you don't like the idea of two brothers having relations, skip this chapter.
Notes: I don't know how thecrap Saeki got in here... I really had no intention of having him in this fic. I never even think about him, much less consider writing about him. But somehow...he weaseled his way in. .>> He's a sneaky one.
And though everyone probably already knows, "Aniki" means "older brother." Which is, of course, how Yuuta refers to Fuji. I left it untranslated in the story, though, because it's...just what I'm used to hearing. I can't picture Yuuta's voice saying "brother," because I've only heard him say "aniki." ... If that makes any sense at all.. .Yeah..
And finally.. This chapter has been edited from the original in order to fit fanfiction dot net's rigid standards.
Enjoy!
The dense forest was more difficult to traverse than both the desert and the cave put together. In many places the team had to forcibly push their way through thick foliage, sometimes even having to cut away branches and brush that blocked their path. All while at the same time trying to avoid ravines and pitfalls and other ways the land seemed determined to break their ankles.
But there was plenty of shade, and with their new sprite companion, they were never in need of water. It was refreshing, and they could feel their strength, which had little by little been stripped away by the desert sun, return.
Though the monsters here were stronger too. The rich forest provided a perfect environment for breeding, and the creatures swarmed in abundance. Luckily most weren't aggressive, but they did cross the occasional hungry wolf or mother savage guarding a bebe.
They didn't encounter any real trouble, though, until they ran into a swarm of hunter flies. Apparently having come too close to a nest, the group found themselves surrounded by the insects, and swiftly flew into action to exterminate them. A long fight ensued, but eventually they were able to rid themselves of the flies.
Or so they'd thought, anyway, but as wounds were treated, movement caught Yuuta's eye. A hunter fly remained, and was aiming to kill the closest human it could.
Their scholar.
"Aniki! Look out!"
Yuuta moved with lightening-quick reflexes, drawing an arrow and notching it into his bow as he dove toward his brother. The elder Fuji was pushed out of the way, putting the hunter face-to-face with the fly.
His arrow hit at point-blank range, pulling the insect out of the air and pinning it to a tree.
"Yuuta!" Fuji ran to his younger brother, putting his arms around the panting boy. "Yuuta, are you alright?"
The two supported each other closely. Curiously. Though everyone else seemed to understand, it made Atobe question their feelings for one another. So he approached the younger as he was re-packing his horse, speaking so only he could hear. "Why did you put yourself in danger like that?" he asked.
Yuuta turned, fixing a gaze upon the Angel. "He is my brother."
"Is that what it means to be family? Do brothers love each other that much?"
"I would do anything for him."
"Even throw away your own life?"
A moment of silence passed, and slowly Yuuta's eyes hardened. "My brother must not die... at any cost."
Yuuta's words kept Atobe awake most of the night. He became certain there was something suspicious about the brothers, the elder in particular. And the more he thought back on it, the more he realized its truth.
Always so protective. Always throwing himself in harm's way. Yuuta would not let any harm come to his brother at any expense. Yes, humans were known to put their lives on the line for each other, especially for family, and especially when it was for the only one they had left in the world. But Atobe could not get over the resolution in Yuuta's voice and eyes.
What was so imperative about Fuji Syuusuke?
The Angel sat up, intending to find answers, since sleep wasn't coming to him anyway.
"Atobe?"
Tezuka's voice stilled him for a moment, before he responded. "I didn't know you were awake."
"I'm a light sleeper."
"I apologize for waking you, then. I was going to go for a walk."
Then Tezuka sat up. "I'll go with you."
"That's not necessary."
"But if something attacks you.." He didn't actively say he worried...or that he just wanted to be near the Angel.
Atobe chuckled lightly. "I can take care of myself." Then added, before the other could further protest, "I won't go far and won't be long." He left without waiting for a response. He hadn't lied when he said he wouldn't go far. Across the way was the brothers' tent, and he approached it, listening for signs of life.
He did not expect to hear what he did.
It was Yuuta's voice, panting and groaning. And if Atobe didn't know any better (which he didn't..), it sounded like the hunter was in pain. So he moved in, throwing open the flap, ready to help his teammate if necessary. Only to be confronted with something possibly worse.
Lying together. Intimately. Passionately. Brothers! Yuuta's legs wrapped around the older brother's waist..
But only for a second, until they heard the Angel's shocked gasp. Then, in a blushing fit the younger pushed his brother away, shook like a leaf, fumbled for his clothes, then ran past Atobe into the dark forest.
He looked completely terrified the entire time.
Atobe had excused himself from the scene, giving Fuji privacy to dress, but knowing the scholar expected, and wanted, to give an explanation. So he sat by where they'd earlier had their fire, poking at the still-warm embers but not coming anywhere near getting the flame re-kindled. Angels simply did not have the knowledge of how to make a fire without magic, since they never had the need to.
When Fuji came out, he quickly supplied the right materials to get a new fire started. As it crackled before them, he started simply. "Yes, Tezuka knows," he answered before the question was asked. "Nobody else does for sure, though, and I'd prefer if it stayed that way."
"I see." Atobe nodded.
The scholar returned the gesture, then took a breath and let it out with a "saa" that seemed to ask 'where do I begin?' "I love my brother."
"Apparently."
The comment went ignored. "Being the elder, I have always been very protective of Yuuta. I helped raise him as a child, but even at a very young age I knew the feelings I had for him were different than that of normal brothers. I...wanted him all to myself. Wanted it to be just the two of us, together. But I knew that couldn't be. The laws of Heaven forbade it. So I would not allow myself to be with him in the way that I wanted. I watched. Watched him grow into a fine young man, but never, ever, did I touch him.
But the day came when he fell for someone. A friend of mine, actually, named Saeki. I guess you could say...I was jealous.. But I didn't interfere.
Until..."
He paused then, and Atobe prompted him to go on. "Until?"
And Fuji's eyes opened slowly, gazing deep into the fire. "Until the day Saeki informed me he planned to take my brother.
I snapped. I... I pushed my friend down a flight of stairs, then went straight to Yuuta, intent on claiming him for myself."
"Fuji..?"
He looked up and caught Atobe's gaze, and in those ice blue eyes the Angel saw a pain deeper than he'd ever imagined. Hidden in that usually happy face was a tormented soul. And it was all of his own doing.
"I raped my brother..
I have no excuse for what I did. I was under no spell, possessed by no Demons. The sin is my own.
Yuuta left after that, of his own will. He..no longer wanted anything to do with me. Couldn't even stand to be near me anymore. He moved to the Holy Church of St. Rudolph, under the hand of the priest Mizuki.
That hurt most of all, I think. I knew Mizuki's reputation of having relations with all the younger boys whom he could...persuade to go to his church. But Yuuta was naive, and would not listen no matter how I pleaded for him to stay. He left me, and I was helpless to stop him."
He paused for a minute to throw another log on the fire and collect his thoughts. 'Yuuta...'
"But obviously he came back," Atobe interjected. "You're together now."
"Ah." Fuji nodded and his eyes returned to their usual, hidden, closed state. "After our parents died he came back. And at first he avoided me, staying only for the sake of our sister. But when she died...he stayed.
I don't know why, and I never asked him. I've also never asked for his forgiveness or ever made any demands of him. I never again touched him. But then one night he came to my room. Of his own free will. He came and laid with me without a word, and then we made love.
He doesn't speak of it, and has never said outright what he feels for me...but ever since then, every time he wants to give or receive comfort, support, when he's feeling afraid or full of sorrow, he comes to me. The only way he knows to show his feelings to me is with his body."
Fuji looked at Atobe, knowing the question the Angel wanted to, but wouldn't ask. "I love my brother; I'll take what I can get."
And then it clicked. Suddenly Yuuta's earlier words made so much more sense to Atobe. "You're damned." And the other's nod confirmed it. "That's why he's so willing to put himself at risk for you. Because of your sin.."
"..If I die, it's straight to Hell I go. No trials, no judgment, just Demons to rip me apart."
They both sensed Yuuta's return at the same time, looking up to see the young hunter standing partially behind a tree. Still painfully embarrassed about the encounter, his look was forlorn.
Fuji stood then, a more cheerful tone back in his voice. "It was good talking to you, Atobe-san. Thank you for your time." They exchanged nods and then the scholar went to his brother, putting a hand on his shoulder and leading him back to their tent.
It was a lot for Atobe to process. A forbidden act born of a forbidden love. Could humans really do this? For each other? The punishment was harsh, but he risked it for his own younger brother.
He stood and heaved a sigh. "That is one very strange human."
For some reason, as they continued through the forest Tezuka began to insist Atobe rode in front of him on their shared horse. He still continued to hold the reigns though, wrapping his arms around the Angel, causing their bodies to press closer together. His lips hovered next to Atobe's ear.
If Atobe were actually paying attention he may have relented. Pulled away out of fear of bringing about even more dangerous feelings for the swordsman. But as it were, his mind was elsewhere. His eyes kept glancing over to the pair of brothers, whose little gestures towards each other suddenly had so much more meaning.
It was strange knowing he wasn't just looking into it too much.
The way Yuuta rested his head on Fuji's shoulder, he wasn't just resting, he was breathing in his brother's scent. Feeling his hair tickle at his nose. And when Fuji reached back to squeeze Yuuta's hand, it was to let him know he was still there, and always would be.
They were lovers. But they were also brothers. And they didn't delude themselves of that fact. The didn't pretend it wasn't the same blood running through their veins. Yuuta was Yuuta, and Fuji was Aniki. They ignored everything that was deemed forbidden, staying true only to their hearts.
That was what made humans so strong.
Two pairs of eyes met across a low fire, one set steel grey, one set turquoise. It happened more and more often; they fell into each other's gaze, caught wanting to tell one another everything, but unable to do so. Not allowed to say what was going on in their hearts.
It was driving Atobe absolutely nuts.
He was used to getting everything he wanted. All he ever needed to do was make a demand for something, and some lesser Angel was sure to deliver it to him.
But this time, Heaven itself stood in his way.
He broke the eye contact he had with the swordsman, abruptly standing and excusing himself. And then he began to walk. No particular direction, just one foot in front of the other. These days he was starting to feel like he was running away, but he needed to clear his mind, so he walked.
When it came down to it...it seemed impossible, but he really couldn't deny it. He was in love with Tezuka. Angels were capable of feelings of love and he even knew several couples in Heaven. But they were all Devine beings with other Devine beings. Of the same status. It would be severely frowned upon for an Angel to pair with someone of a lower class. Especially a mere human.
But Tezuka wasn't just any other human, was he? There was something about him that was radically different. He had a certain power to him. Something...that made Atobe think.
What if?
What if he did give in to his feelings for the swordsman? Confess his love, hand over his body, make two become one? With a human! If those brothers were able to risk everything for each other, why couldn't he?
Was he not as strong as they were?
His face turned skyward and the wind picked up. He closed his eyes, remembering what it was like to fly. To feel that wind blowing through his hair and over his wings and he was free to go anywhere the sky extended to. And for a moment he could've sworn his feet did lift off the ground. That he was taking off so easily, just like he could before.
But the harsh reality was, he couldn't. He had been foolish and was stripped of his power. He was here fighting to get it back. That's why he wouldn't give in to his feelings for Tezuka. He could not risk having a human body on a more permanent level. For him, that was just the way it had to be.
When his turquoise eyes re-opened, he found Yuuta standing before him. At first it seemed odd that he hadn't heard or sensed the young man, until he remembered what the other was. Hunters weren't noticed unless they wanted to be.
"Yuuta."
"Atobe-san..."
Atobe raised an eyebrow, waiting for the youth to continue. And it took Yuuta a moment; he clenched and unclenched his fists several times.
And then spoke carefully. "I do not condone what my brother did...but I do not condemn him for it either."
"I see," the Angel nodded. "And why are you telling me this?"
"I just...wanted you to know."
It fell silent a minute, neither one speaking. Each mulling over what had been said. Until Atobe spoke up again. "Do you love your brother?"
"Of course I do!" Yuuta's temper flashed for a second, but passed just as quickly. "Very much.."
"But do you love him in the same way he loves you?"
"I... I don't know..."
"He's put his very soul on the line for you and you don't even know how you feel for him? How could you allow that?"
"It's worth it to him!" the hunter burst out. "He made the choice on his own! He was the one who allowed it! And because of his feelings for me, it's worth any sacrifice to him for us to be together." His fists clenched and his body shook, as though he was holding back tears. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, but the only time I truly feel safe is when I'm with him."
And at a loss of further words, he turned and walked away.
"Foolish humans," Atobe muttered, his own temper now aggravated.
'It's worth it to him!'
"So...foolish."
"Tezuka?"
"Yes?"
Atobe stared into the darkness of the tent, his mind churning in those moments before sleep overcame him. He didn't notice how easy it had become for him to share thoughts with Tezuka, and how readily the other responded. He was trying to put what he was thinking into words, so didn't realize how simple the quiet moment was.
"Atobe?" Tezuka prompted when he didn't get an answer.
"Aahn.. How is it..." He paused a second, then re-started. "What kind of person could sacrifice something extremely important for someone else?"
"... This is about Fuji, isn't it?"
"Yes."
A breath exhaled from the swordsman, and then he said "it is not my place to judge what is right and what is wrong for another person. Fuji does what is in his heart. So does Yuuta."
Atobe didn't respond right away, but then suddenly sat up. "I'm going for a walk." And then exited the tent. But he didn't get too far from the camp before he was stopped by Tezuka's voice calling out to him.
"Why does this bother you so?"
"It's no matter." A dismissive wave of the hand. He again turned to go.
"It does matter. No secrets, remember? Tell me why this plagues you so much."
Atobe turned, fixing the other with an ardent gaze. "You know what kind of person would sacrifice himself for someone else?" His glare didn't recede, but there was something exposed deep within his eyes.
"Someone far greater than I."
Fuji sat up suddenly, jostling his brother who lay next to him. His eyes were open wide, but he couldn't see anything in the darkness.
"Mmm... Aniki?" Yuuta's voice was laced with sleep. "What's wrong?"
"Tezuka..."
"Huh...?"
The all-knowing scholar shook his head, replying "never mind. It's nothing." He laid back down and pulled the other youth to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Go back to sleep."
And he gave his brother a gentle good-night kiss.
to be concluded...