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Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Harry Potter. The characters belong to the great J.K.Rowling. I only own 3 cats and 2 dogs, and only 2 cats and 1 dog are really mine. Noises from the basement? Pay no attention to those…
A/N: Sometimes a banana…well, is just a banana.
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Going Bananas
By: MadameMing
"Hello Malfoy."
"Granger. I see you're about as thrilled as I am about Head duties tonight."
"Of course. What isn't there to be thrilled about? Just patrolling halls, with someone that I hate, when I could be doing something productive, like studying…"
"Granger?"
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
"Fine, Malfoy. I have a snack with me anyway."
"….Granger, what is that?"
"You can't tell me you've never seen a banana before?"
"Of course I've seen a banana! That one just looks a little odd…"
"How does this banana look odd?"
"Well, it has a few purple spots on it."
"What are you talking about? Those aren't purple, they're…oh no! They are purple! Malfoy, what have you done to my banana?"
"Much as I'd like to take credit for this, I didn't do it. If you want my help with trying to get it back to normal though, I'll give you that."
"Draco Malfoy, offering to do something nice? What is this world coming to?"
"I just want to test some spells on it."
"Right. Sure. Well, let's get to it then. Aparecium!"
"Granger, what was that supposed to do?"
"I was trying to see if there was some sort of message on it."
"……"
"What? It's possible!"
"……"
"I suppose you can do better? Be my guest!"
"Fine then. Aperio Magus!"
"Well. That was actually a good try, Malfoy, but it didn't seem to do anything."
"No, look. It seems to be flashing blue…"
"Are you certain that was the right spell?"
"Granger, I don't do things wrong."
"Everyone makes mistakes, Malfoy. Here, let me try something. Engorgio!"
"And the purpose of that was?"
"Well, if it gets larger, it might be more susceptible to spells."
"Interesting idea. Did you read that somewhere?"
"Why, yes, actually I was- wait, never mind. Shall we try that again?"
"Certainly. Ladies first."
"How kind of you. Aperio Magus Statim!"
"I'm impressed, Hermione. That was excellent."
"Thank you Malf- wait. Did you just call me Hermione?"
"Did I?"
"Yes."
"It never happened."
"Yes it did. You called me by my name, Draco, no denying it."
"Well, you just called me Draco."
"I did no such thing."
"Yes you did."
"No, I didn't."
"Yes you did."
"Fine! I did. Happy now?"
"Yes."
"Draco… look at the banana."
"Does it have silver spots now?"
"Yes. I think we may have put too many spells on it, and it's reacting to them an a very odd manner."
"You really are quite clever, aren't you?"
"Draco, are you trying to tell me something?"
"Well, um…"
"Come on, Draco. You can tell me."
"Hermione, I… I love you."
"This is…shocking."
"You aren't mad at me, are you?"
"No, Draco, I'm not mad. I, well, I love you too. But, this is so sudden. What brought it on?"
"Well, I suppose I just decided to go for it."
"But what if I had said that I didn't love you?"
"I take risks."
"Draco…"
"Yes?"
"The banana seems to be getting larger…"
"Shit. Praemium!"
"Draco, you blew it up."
"Like I said, I take risks."
"It was wonderful of you to try and fix it, but now my entire face, and my hair, is covered in it!"
"I'll take care of that."
"…."
"Well."
"Apparently, the banana didn't have a spell on it."
"How do you know?"
"Well, I'd be under its spell by now. You ought to know that, Hermione."
"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just not thinking clearly."
"I'm not that good."
"Well, we'll see about that."
"…."
"Just goes to show you."
"What?"
"Well, sometimes a banana… is just a banana."
"Draco?"
"Yes, love?"
"Shut up and kiss me."